The Story of My Life; Being Reminiscences of Sixty Years' Public Service in Canada Part 5

The sermon of the Archdeacon of York was the third formal attack made by the Church of England clergy upon the characters of their unoffending Methodist brethren and those of other religious persuasions; but no defence of the a.s.sailed parties had as yet been written. In a subsequent discussion on another topic, referring to this matter, I said:

"Up to this time not a word had been written respecting the clergy of the Church of England, or the Clergy Reserve question, by any minister or member of the Methodist Church. At that time the Methodists had no law to secure a foot of land, on which to build parsonages, Chapels, and in which to bury their dead; their ministers were not allowed to solemnize matrimony; and some of them had been the objects of cruel and illegal persecution on the part of magistrates and others in authority. And now they were the b.u.t.t of unprovoked and unfounded aspersions from two heads of Episcopal Clergy, while pursuing the 'noiseless tenor of their way,' through trackless forests and bridgeless rivers and streams, to preach among the scattered inhabitants the unsearchable riches of Christ."[7]

_The Review_, in defence of the Methodists and others against such gratuitous and unjust imputations, consisted of about thirty octavo pages, appeared over the signature of "A Methodist Preacher;" it was commenced near Newmarket, in a cottage owned by the late Mr. Elias Smith, whose wife was a sister of the Lounts--a woman of great excellence. It was written piecemeal in the humble residences of the early settlers, in the course of eight days, during which time I rode on horseback nearly a hundred miles and preached seven sermons. On its publication I pursued my country tour of preaching, &c., little conscious of the storm that was brewing; but on my return to town, at the end of two weeks, I received newspapers containing four replies to my _Review_--three of them written by clergymen, and one by a scholarly layman of the Church of England. In those replies to the then unknown author of the _Review_, I was a.s.sailed by all sorts of contemptuous and criminating epithets--all denying that the author of such a publication could be "a Methodist Preacher,"--but was "an American," "a rebel," "a traitor,"--and that the _Review_ was the "prodigious effort of a party."

My agitation was extreme; finding myself, against my own intention and will, in the very tempest of a discussion for which I felt myself poorly prepared, I had little appet.i.te or sleep. At length roused to a sense of my position, I felt that I must either flee or fight. I decided upon the latter, strengthened by the consciousness that my principles were those of the British Const.i.tution and in defence of British rights. I devoted a day to fasting and prayer, and then went at my adversaries in good earnest. In less than four years after the commencement of this controversy, laws were pa.s.sed authorising the different religious denominations to hold land for churches, parsonages, and burying grounds, and their Ministers to solemnize matrimony; while the Legislative a.s.sembly pa.s.sed, by large majorities, resolutions, and addresses to the Crown against the exclusive pretensions of the Church of England to the Clergy Reserves and being the exclusive established Church of Upper Canada, though the Clergy Reserve question itself continued to be discussed, and was not finally settled until more than ten years afterwards.

Several months after the commencement of this controversy I paid my first annual visit to my parents, and for the first two days the burden of my Father's conversation was this controversy which was agitating the country. At length, while walking in the orchard, my Father turned short, and in a stern tone, said, "Egerton, they say that you are the author of these papers which are convulsing the whole country. I want to know whether you are or not?" I was compelled to acknowledge that I was the writer of these papers, when my Father lifted up his hands, in an agony of feeling, and exclaimed, "My G.o.d! we are all ruined!"

The state of my own mind and the character of my labours during this first year of my ministry, may be inferred from the following brief extracts from my diary:--

_October 4th_,--I have this evening arrived on my Circuit at York.

I feel the change to be awfully important, and entirely inadequate to give proper instruction to so intelligent a people. The Lord give me his a.s.sisting grace. I am resolved to devote my time, my heart, my all, to G.o.d without reserve. I do feel determined, by G.o.d's a.s.sistance, to rise early, spend no more time than is absolutely necessary, pray oftener, and more fervently, to be modest and solemn in the discharge of my public duties--to improve every leisure moment by reading or meditation, and to depend upon the a.s.sistance of Almighty G.o.d for the performance of every duty.

Oh, Lord, a.s.sist an ignorant youth to declare thy great salvation!

_Oct. 9th._--Commenced my labours this day. In the morning, the Lord was very near to help me, giving me a tongue to speak, and a heart to feel. But in the evening, after I got through my introduction, recollection failed and my mind was entirely blank.

For nearly five minutes I could scarcely speak a word; after this my thoughts returned. This seemed to be the hand of G.o.d, to show me my entire weakness.

_Oct. 16th--Sabbath._--Oh, G.o.d, water the efforts of this day with thy grace! If I am the means of persuading only one soul to embrace the Lord Jesus, I shall be amply rewarded. "Paul planted, Apollos watered, but G.o.d gave the increase." I Cor. iii. 6.

_Oct. 20th._--Once more, my Saviour, I renew my covenant and give myself away; 'tis all that I can do.

_Oct. 27th._--For several days past the Lord has been very gracious to my soul, and has greatly helped me in declaring His glorious counsels. But to-day, my heart felt very hard while preaching to a company of graceless sinners. It was in a tavern, and I doubt the propriety of preaching in such places.

_Oct. 31st._--I am one month nearer my end; am I so much nearer G.o.d and heaven? There are many precious hours I can give no favourable account of. Had I been more faithful, I might have led some poor wanderer into the way of truth. Oh, G.o.d, enter not into judgment with me! Spare the barren fig-tree a little longer.

_November 4th--Friday (Fast Day.)_--One reason why my labours are not more blessed, is because I feel and know so little of spiritual things myself. There is too much of self about me.

"When, gracious Lord, when shall it be, That I shall find my all in Thee; The fulness of Thy promise prove, The seal of Thine eternal love."

_Nov. 6th._--I felt greatly blessed while addressing a large Sabbath-school of more than a hundred scholars.

_Nov. 7th._--[On this day, the following letter was written from York by Dr. Ryerson to his Father. He said: On leaving the old home lately, I promised to write to you, my dear Father, and let you know how I am getting on. I arrived here a few days after I left home. I have received a letter from brother William, who told me that his prospects are encouraging. I received a letter also from brother John. He reached Perth about a fortnight after he left home, and was cordially received by all cla.s.ses. He preached the Sabbath after he got there to large and respectable congregations. He was very much pleased with his appointment, and his prospects are very favourable. On the first evening of his preaching, one professed to experience justification by faith, and several were deeply convicted. He thinks, from several circ.u.mstances, that his appointment is of G.o.d. I am very well pleased with my appointment. I travel with a person who is deeply pious, a true and disinterested friend, and a very respectable preacher. I travel about two hundred miles in four weeks, and preach twenty-five times, besides funerals. I spend two Sabbaths in York, and two in the country.

Our prospects on the circuit are encouraging. In York we have most flattering prospects. We have some increase almost every week. Our morning congregations fill the chapel, which was never the case before; and in the evening the chapel will not contain but little more than three-quarters of the people. Last evening several members of Parliament were present. I never addressed so large an audience before, and I never was so a.s.sisted from heaven in preaching as at this place. I have spent the last two Sabbaths in York, and I go to-day into the country. I was requested yesterday to address the Union Sunday-school, which contains about 150 or 200 children. It was a public examination of the School. I never heard children recite so correctly, and so perfectly before, as they did. There was quite a large congregation present, as it was designed to make a contribution for the support of the School. I first addressed a short discourse to the children, and then addressed the a.s.sembly. It was the most precious season that I ever experienced. It is, my dear Father, the most delightful employment I ever engaged in, to proclaim the name of Jesus to lost sinners. I feel more firmly attached to the cause than ever. The Lord has comforted, blessed, and prospered me beyond my expectations. I am resolved to devote all that I have and am, to his service. Get George to write shortly all the news of the day.

Remember me to my dear Mother.--H.]

[After writing to his Father, he wrote on the same day to his brother George, as follows:--

I have just heard the Governor's Speech to the two Houses of the Legislature. In the latter part of his address he hinted at a certain communication, which, by the permission of His Majesty, he would make by Message, to remove apprehensions that affected the civil rights of a very considerable part of the community. As to my religious enjoyments, I think that Christ has been more precious to me than ever. When I came into this Circuit, I began to fast and pray more than ever I had done before, and the Lord has greatly blessed me. I have scarcely had a barren time in preaching. I feel more strongly attached to the cause than ever. While the Lord will help, I am resolved to go forward. Rev.

James Richardson is a man of good sense, and deep piety, and a very acceptable and useful preacher.--H.]

_Nov. 10th._--Travelled twenty-two miles and preached twice. My views of Scripture of late have been obscure; I can recall the truths to my mind, but they don't make that impression they have hitherto done. Is this change of feeling inherent, or the effect of neglect of duty, and want of watchfulness? I will examine this point more fully. I know it is my privilege to enjoy peace with G.o.d, but whether it be my privilege at all times to possess equal feeling, I am not certain.

_Nov. 23rd._--I think Mr. Wesley's advice indispensably necessary, "to rise as soon as we wake." I am resolved to be more punctual in rising for the time to come.

_Nov. 29th._--How painful does my experience prove the truth of the Apostle, that "when I would do good evil is present with me." I have thought sometimes it would be impossible to forget G.o.d, or to be lukewarm in His cause; but alas I am p.r.o.ne to evil continually.

_December 14th._--The Lord has greatly delivered my soul from the burden of guilt and fear with which I have been so painfully bowed down for several days past; and, blessed be the name of the Lord, He begins to revive His work on the circuit. Five more have been added to the Church this week. Glory to G.o.d for His mercy and love!

_Dec. 30th._--A part of the day I spent in the Legislature. The first three months of last year I was in bad health, confined to my bed part of the time. The last nine months I have spent in trying to seek the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

_York, January 1st, 1826._--How faithful is the Saviour to that promise, "Lo, I am with thee, even to the end of the world." Though weak in body I have had to preach three times a day, and travel many miles. Jesus has been very precious to my soul.

_February 3rd._--I have travelled to-day in an Irish settlement, and preached twice to them. My life is a scene of toil and pain, I am far from well, and far from parents and relatives. While others enjoy all the advantages of domestic life, I am doomed to deny myself. Oh, my soul, behold the example the Saviour has set. "He had not where to lay his head." Is the servant above his Lord?

_Feb. 11th._--For several days I have been visiting my friends. I think they are improving in religious knowledge. What an unspeakable blessing to see them showing a desire to walk in the narrow way that leads to life eternal.

_Feb. 18th._--I have just returned to my Circuit. This is the first time I ever dropped appointments for the gratification of seeing my friends. It has taught me the lesson, that labouring in the vineyard of the Lord is more blessed than any personal gratification.

_Feb. 28th._--This month presents the most mournful portrait I have ever beheld in retrospect of my past time since I began to travel.

Since I visited my friends everything has gone against me. The season of recreation was not improved as it ought to have been; I lost the unction of the Holy One, and returned to my Circuit depressed in mind. Shall I sink down in despair? No, I will return unto the Lord. He has smitten, He will heal. I will go to the fountain open for sin and uncleanness. I will renew my covenant, and offer my poor all to him once more.

_March 23rd._--This day closes my twenty-third year and the first of my ministry. How mysterious was the providence which induced me to enter the itinerant ministry. It was the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in my eyes. Since I have devoted myself to Him in a perpetual covenant, how great has been His paternal care over me. I have felt the rod of affliction, but, He has sanctified it. I have been a.s.sailed by temptation, but He has delivered me. I have been caressed and flattered, but the Lord, in great mercy, has saved me from the dangerous rocks of vanity and pride. My soul has at times been overspread with clouds and darkness, but the "Sun of Righteousness has again risen" with brightness on his wings. I have oft been cast down, but blessed be the Lord who has given me the "oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." My mind at times has been filled with doubts and fears, and I have been tempted to say, "I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency," but the Lord has saved my feet from slipping, and established my goings upon a firm foundation. He has put a new song into my mouth, and enabled me to say, "What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee."

_April 17th._--This day, for the first time, I have declared to the aborigines of the country that "Jesus is precious to those who believe." My heart rejoiced in G.o.d, who is claiming the heathen for His inheritance.

_April 19th._--[On this day Dr. Ryerson wrote from Saltfleet to his Mother. He said:--

As you, my dear Mother, were always anxious about my health, I write to-day to a.s.sure you that since I left home it has been extremely good.

I think I am making some small progress in those attainments which are only acquired by prayer, and holy devotedness to G.o.d. I find the work I have undertaken is an all-important one. I have many things to learn, and many things to unlearn. I have had some severe trials, and some mortifying scenes. At other times I have been unspeakably blessed, and I have been greatly encouraged at some favourable prospects. Several times my views have been greatly enlarged, and my mind enlightened, while, with a warm and full heart, I have been trying to address a large and much affected congregation. It is not my endeavour to s.h.i.+ne, or to please, but to speak to the heart and the conscience. And with a view to this, I have aimed at the root of injurious prejudices, and notions that I have found prevalent in different places. I find, by experience, that a firm reliance on the power and grace of Christ is everything. I hope that you, my dear Mother, will pray for me that the Lord will give me grace, power, and wisdom to do my whole duty.

I am very sorry to hear of your ill-health. I hope and pray that the Father of all mercies will continue to support, comfort, and deliver you, in the midst of your afflictions and sorrows. Blessed be the Lord, dear Mother, the day is not far distant when you can rest your weary spirit in the arms of Jesus; and should I survive you, while you are pursuing the blessed, triumphant theme of redeeming love, in strains the most exalted, I will endeavour in my feeble way to follow you to the same blessed kingdom.

Brother William received a letter from John last week. His health is very bad. His excessive labour has overcome him. He has forty appointments in four weeks. He is now stationed in Kingston.--H.]

_April 25th._--For several days past I have been altogether engaged in writing a controversial pamphlet, and have attended little to the duty of self-examination.

_April 28th._--I have been much blessed in reading the Journal of John Nelson. When I compare the unwearied labours, and severe sufferings of that brave soldier of the Cross, with my little efforts and sufferings, I blush for my lukewarmness, and am ashamed of my fearfulness.

_May 10th._--[In these early days, the Methodist ministers had but little time for study before commencing their ministerial labours, and, as Dr. Ryerson often told me, they had to resort to many expedients to secure the necessary time for reading and study. This had often to be done on horseback. Dr. Ryerson's eldest brother, George, who had attended Union College, N.Y., turned his advantages in this respect to a good account. He sought to stimulate his younger brothers to devote every spare moment to suitable preparation for their work. In reply to a letter on this subject, from Rev. George Ryerson to his brother William, he said:--

I thank you for your kind advice respecting composition, and shall endeavour to follow it, although my necessary duties leave but very little time for literary improvement. Since I saw you, I have been princ.i.p.ally engaged in Biblical studies which I find both profitable and interesting. I am now engaged in reading the Bible through in course with Dr. Adam Clarke's notes, also Paley's books.

I received a letter from brother John a few days since. He had received a number into the Society, and there were a number more who appeared to be seriously awakened. Elder Madden, who was at York last week, says that Egerton is well, and that the cause of religion is prospering in York, and on the Yonge Street Circuit. We have had but very little increase in Niagara since I saw you, although our congregation is very large and attentive.--H.]

_May 18th._--[In writing to-day to his brother George, Dr. Ryerson mentioned that he and Elder Case had visited the Credit Indians. Elder Case, he said, had come up to get Mrs. Wm. Kerr (_nee_ Brant) to correct the translation of one of the Gospels, and some hymns, in order to have them printed. He also wished Peter Jones to go down and preach to the Indians on the Bay of Quinte (Tyendinaga). It was there, he said, that the work of religion had begun to spread among them. About twelve had experienced religion, and others are under awakening. They do not, he said, understand enough English to receive religious instruction in that language; and, therefore, he wished Peter Jones to go down for two or three weeks.

In this letter Dr. Ryerson said: I think the cause of religion is prospering in different parts of the Circuit. Upwards of thirty have been added to us in this town (York) since Conference, and our present prospects are equally encouraging. My colleague is a man who is wholly devoted to the work of saving souls. I hope that G.o.d will give us an abundant harvest.

I am employing all my leisure time in the prosecution of my studies. I also practice composition. I am reading Rollin's Ancient History, Greek, and miscellaneous works. Are Father, and Mother, and all the family well? How are their minds disposed towards G.o.d and heaven?

We have formed a Missionary Society in this place. I think we shall collect $40 or $50. I hope that period is not remote when the whole colony will be brought into a state of salvation!--H.]

_June 7th._--My mind has been much afflicted with care and anxiety, for some days, on account of the controversy in which I am engaged.

I feel it to be the cause of G.o.d; and I am resolved to follow truth and the Holy Scriptures in whatever channel they will lead me. Oh, Lord, I commend my feeble efforts to thy blessings! Grant me wisdom from above; and take the cause into thy own hands, for thy name's sake!

_June 25th._--I have spent some days in visiting my friends, and also attending a Camp-meeting. The weather has been very unfavourable; but the showers that watered the earth are now past, and showers of Divine blessing are descending. The song of praise is ascending, and sinners are crying for mercy. Oh, Lord, carry on the glorious work!

_July 7th._--The enemy gained victory over me to-day, by tempting me to neglect Cla.s.s for other employments. But I was defeated.

Company coming in, I was hindered from doing what I desired.