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FEARS AND SCRUPLES
Here's my case. Of old I used to love him.
This same unseen friend, before I knew: Dream there was none like him, none above him,-- Wake to hope and trust my dream was true.
Loved I not his letters full of beauty? 5 Not his actions famous far and wide?
Absent, he would know I vowed him duty, Present, he would find me at his side.
Pleasant fancy! for I had but letters, Only knew of actions by hearsay: 10 He himself was busied with my betters; What of that? My turn must come some day.
"Some day" proving--no day! Here's the puzzle.
Pa.s.sed and pa.s.sed my turn is. Why complain?
He's so busied! If I could but muzzle People's foolish mouths that give me pain!
"Letters?" (hear them!) "You a judge of writing?
Ask the experts!--How they shake the head O'er these characters, your friend's inditing-- Call them forgery from A to Z! 20
"Actions? Where's your certain proof" (they bother) "He, of all you find so great and good, He, he only, claims this, that, the other Action--claimed by men, a mult.i.tude?"
I can simply wish I might refute you, Wish my friend would,--by a word, a wink,-- Bid me stop that foolish mouth,--you brute you!
He keeps absent,--why, I cannot think.
Never mind! Tho' foolishness may flout me.
One thing's sure enough; 'tis neither frost, 30 No, nor fire, shall freeze or burn from out me Thanks for truth--tho' falsehood, gained--tho' lost.
All my days, I'll go the softlier, sadlier, For that dream's sake! How forget the thrill Thro' and thro' me as I thought, "The gladlier Lives my friend because I love him still!"
Ah, but there's a menace some one utters!
"What and if your friend at home play tricks?
Peep at hide-and-seek behind the shutters?
Mean your eyes should pierce thro' solid bricks? 40
'What and if he, frowning, wake you, dreamy?
Lay on you the blame that bricks--conceal?
Say '_At least I saw who did not see me, Does see now, and presently shall feel_'?"
"Why, that makes your friend a monster!" say you; "Had his house no window? At first nod, Would you not have hailed him?" Hush, I pray you!
What if this friend happen to be--G.o.d?
INSTANS TYRANNUS
Of the million or two, more or less, I rule and possess, One man, for some cause undefined, Was least to my mind.
I struck him, he grovelled of course-- For, what was his force?
I pinned him to earth with my weight And persistence of hate; And he lay, would not moan, would not curse, As his lot might be worse. 10
"Were the object less mean? would he stand At the swing of my hand!
For obscurity helps him, and blots The hole where he squats."
So, I set my five wits on the stretch.
To inveigle the wretch.
All in vain! Gold and jewels I threw, Still he couched there perdue; I tempted his blood and his flesh, Hid in roses my mesh, 20 Choicest cates and the flagon's best spilth: Still he kept to his filth.
Had he kith now or kin, were access To his heart, did I press: Just a son or a mother to seize!
No such booty as these.
Were it simply a friend to pursue 'Mid my million or two, Who could pay me, in person or pelf, What he owes me himself! 30 No: I could not but smile thro' my chafe: For the fellow lay safe As his mates do, the midge and the nit, --Thro' minuteness, to wit.
Then a humour more great took its place At the thought of his face: The droop, the low cares of the mouth, The trouble uncouth 'Twixt the brows, all that air one is fain To put out of its pain, 40 And, "no!" I admonished myself, "Is one mocked by an elf.
Is one baffled by toad or by rat?
The gravamen's in that! 44 How the lion, who crouches to suit His back to my foot, Would admire that I stand in debate!
But the small turns the great If it vexes you,--that is the thing!
Toad or rat vex the king? 50 Tho' I waste half my realm to unearth Toad or rat, 'tis well worth!"
So, I soberly laid my last plan To extinguish the man.
Round his creep-hole, with never a break Ran my fires for his sake; Overhead, did my thunder combine With my under-ground mine: Till I looked from my labour content To enjoy the event. 60
When sudden ... how think ye, the end?
Did I say "without friend?"
Say rather, from marge to blue marge The whole sky grew his targe With the sun's self for visible boss, While an Arm ran across Which the earth heaved beneath like a breast!
Where the wretch was safe prest!
Do you see! Just my vengeance complete, 69 The man sprang to his feet, 70 Stood erect, caught at G.o.d's skirts, and prayed!
--So, _I_ was afraid!
THE PATRIOT
AN OLD STORY
It was roses, roses, all the way, With myrtle mixed in my path like mad; The house-roofs seemed to heave and sway, The church-spires flamed, such flags they had, A year ago on this very day.
The air broke into a mist with bells, The old walls rocked with the crowd and cries.
Had I said, "Good folk, mere noise repels-- But give me your sun from yonder skies!"
They had answered "And afterward, what else?" 10
Alack, it was I who leaped at the sun To give it my loving friends to keep!
Naught man could do, have I left undone: And you see my harvest, what I reap This very day, now a year is run.
There's n.o.body on the house-tops now-- Just a palsied few at the windows set; For the best of the sight is, all allow, At the Shambles' Gate--or, better yet, By the very scaffold's foot, I trow. 20
I go in the rain, and, more than needs, A rope cuts both my wrists behind; And I think, by the feel, my forehead bleeds, For they fling, whoever has a mind, Stones at me for my year's misdeeds.