Susan Lenox Her Fall and Rise - BestLightNovel.com
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"You better keep away from that there soiled dove. They tell me she's a thief--has done time--has robbed drunken men in dark hallways."
Dan laughed impudently. "She's a cute one. What diff does it make how she gets the goods as long as she gets it?"
Mrs. Ca.s.satt confided to everybody that she was afraid the woman would make a thief of her boy--and there was no disputing the justice of her forebodings.
Foul smells and sights everywhere, and foul language; no privacy, no possibility of modesty where all must do all in the same room: vermin, parasites, bad food vilely cooked--in the midst of these and a mult.i.tude of similar ills how was it possible to maintain a human standard, even if one had by chance acquired a knowledge of what const.i.tuted a human standard? The Ca.s.satts were sinking into the slime in which their neighbors were already wallowing. But there was this difference. For the Ca.s.satts it was a descent; for many of their neighbors it was an ascent--for the immigrants notably, who had been worse off in their European homes; in this land not yet completely in the grip of the capitalist or wage system they were now getting the first notions of decency and development, the first views and hope of rising in the world. The Ca.s.satts, though they had always lived too near the slime to be nauseated by it, still found it disagreeable and in spots disgusting. Their neighbors--
One of the chief reasons why these people were rising so slowly where they were rising at all was that the slime seemed to them natural, and to try to get clean of it seemed rather a foolish, finicky waste of time and effort. People who have come up--by accident, or by their own force, or by the force of some at once shrewd and brutal member of the family--have to be far and long from the slums before they lose the sense that in conforming to the decencies of life they are making absurd effeminate concessions.
When they go to buy a toothbrush they blush and stammer.
"Look at Lorna and Etta," Mrs. Ca.s.satt was always saying to Kate.
"Well, I see 'em," Kate would reply. "And I don't see much."
"Ain't you ashamed of yourself!" cried the mother. "Them two lives straight and decent. And you're better off than they are."
"Don't preach to me, ma," sneered Kate. "When I get ready I'll--stop making a d.a.m.n fool of myself."
But the example of the two girls was not without its effect.
They, struggling on in chast.i.ty against appalling odds, became the models, not only to Mrs. Ca.s.satt, but all the mothers of that row held up to their daughters. The mothers--all of them by observation, not a few by experience--knew what the "fancy lady's" life really meant. And they strove mightily to keep their daughters from it. Not through religion or moral feeling, though many pretended--perhaps fancied--that this was their reason; but through the plainest kind of practical sense--the kind that in the broad determines the actions of human beings of whatever cla.s.s, however lofty the idealistic pretenses may be.
These mothers knew that the profession of the pariah meant a short life and a wretched one, meant disease, lower and ever lower wages, the scale swiftly descending, meant all the miseries of respectability plus a heavy burden of miseries of its own. There were many other girls besides Susan and Etta holding up their heads--girls with prospects of matrimony, girls with fairly good wages, girls with fathers and brothers at work and able to provide a home. But Susan and Etta were peculiarly valuable as examples because they were making the fight alone and unaided.
Thus, they were watched closely. In those neighborhoods everyone knows everyone's else business down to how the last cent is got and spent. If either girl had appeared in a new pair of shoes, a new hat, a new garment of any kind, at once the report would have sped that the wearer had taken a turn in the streets. And the scandal would have been justified; for where could either have respectably got the money for the smallest and cheapest addition to her toilet? Matson, too, proudly pointed them out as giving the lie to the talk about working girls not getting living wages, to the muttering against him and his fellow employers as practically procurers for the pavement and the dive, for the charity hospital's most dreadful wards, for the Morgue's most piteous boxes and slabs.
As their strength declined, as their miseries ate in and in, the two girls ceased talking together; they used to chatter much of the time like two birds on a leafy, sunny bough. Now they walked, ate their scanty, repulsive meals, dressed, worked, all in silence. When their eyes met both glanced guiltily away, each fearing the other would discover the thought she was revolving--the thought of the streets. They slept badly--Etta sometimes, Susan every night. For a long time after she came to the tenements she had not slept well, despite her youth and the dull toil that wore her out each day. But after many months she had grown somewhat used to the noisiness--to fretting babies, to wailing children, the mixed ale parties, the quarrelings of the ill and the drunk, the incessant restlessness wherever people are huddled so close together that repose is impossible. And she had gradually acquired the habit of sleeping well--that is, well for the tenement region where no one ever gets the rest without which health is impossible. Now sleeplessness came again--hours on hours of listening to the hateful and maddening discords of densely crowded humanity, hours on hours of thinking--thinking--in the hopeless circles like those of a caged animal, treading with soft swift step round and round, nose to the iron wall, eyes gleaming with despairing pain.
One Sat.u.r.day evening after a supper of scorched cornmeal which had been none too fresh when they got it at the swindling grocer's on the street floor, Etta put on the tattered, patched old skirt at which she had been toiling. "I can't make it fit to wear," said she. "It's too far gone; I think"--her eyelids fluttered--"I'll go see some of the girls."
Susan, who was darning--seated on the one chair--yes, it had once been a chair--did not look up or speak. Etta put on her hat--slowly. Then, with a stealthy glance at Susan, she moved slidingly toward the door. As she reached it Susan's hands dropped to her lap; so tense were Etta's nerves that the gesture made her startle. "Etta!" said Susan in an appealing voice.
Etta's hand dropped from the k.n.o.b. "Well--what is it, Lorna?"
she asked in a low, nervous tone.
"Look at me, dear."
Etta tried to obey, could not.
"Don't do it--yet," said Susan. "Wait--a few more days."
"Wait for what?"
"I don't know. But--wait."
"You get four, I get only three--and there's no chance of a raise. I work slower instead of faster. I'm going to be discharged soon. I'm in rags underneath. . . . I've got to go before I get sick--and won't have anything to--to sell."
Susan did not reply. She stared at the remains of a cheap stocking in her lap. Yes, there was no doubt about it, Etta's health was going. Etta was strong, but she had no such store of strength to draw upon as had acc.u.mulated for Susan during the seventeen years of simple, regular life in healthful surroundings. A little while and Etta would be ill--would, perhaps--probably--almost certainly--die--
Dan Ca.s.satt came in at the other door, sat on the edge of his bed and changed his trousers for what he was pleased to imagine a less disreputable pair. Midway the boy stopped and eyed Susan's bare leg and foot, a grin of pleasure and amus.e.m.e.nt on his precociously and viciously mature face.
"My, but you keep clean," he cried. "And you've got a mighty pretty foot. Minnie's is ugly as h.e.l.l."
Minnie was the "fancy lady" on the floor below--"my skirt," he called her. Susan evidently did not hear his compliment. Dan completed his "sporting toilet" with a sleeking down of his long greasy hair, took himself away to his girl. Susan was watching a bug crawl down the wall toward their bed with its stained and malodorous covers of rag. Etta was still standing by the door motionless. She sighed, once more put her hand on the k.n.o.b.
Susan's voice came again. "You've never been out, have you?"
"No," replied Etta.
Susan began to put on her stocking. "I'll go," said she. "I'll go--instead."
"No!" cried Etta, sobbing. "It don't matter about me. I'm bound to be sucked under. You've got a chance to pull through."
"Not a ghost of a chance," answered Susan. "I'll go. You've never been."
"I know, but----"
"You've never been," continued Susan, fastening her shoe with its ragged string. "You've never been. Well--I have."
"You!" exclaimed Etta, horrified though unbelieving. "Oh, no, you haven't."
"Yes," said Susan. "And worse."
"And worse?" repeated Etta. "Is that what the look I sometimes see in your eyes--when you don't know anyone's seeing--is that what it means?"
"I suppose so. I'll go. You stay here."
"And you--out there!"
"It doesn't mean much to me."
Etta looked at her with eyes as devoted as a dog's. "Then we'll go together," she said.
Susan, pinning on her weather-stained hat, reflected. "Very well," she said finally. "There's nothing lower than this."
They said no more; they went out into the clear, cold winter night, out under the brilliant stars. Several handsome theater buses were pa.s.sing on their way from the fas.h.i.+onable suburb to the theater. Etta looked at them, at the splendid horses, at the men in top hats and fur coats--clean looking, fine looking, amiable looking men--at the beautiful fur wraps of the delicate women--what complexions!--what lovely hair!--what jewels! Etta, her heart bursting, her throat choking, glanced at Susan to see whether she too was observing. But Susan's eyes were on the tenement they had just left.
"What are you looking at--so queer?" asked Etta.
"I was thinking that we'll not come back here."
Etta started. "Not come back _home!_"
Susan gave a strange short laugh. "Home!. . . No, we'll not come back home. There's no use doing things halfway. We've made the plunge. We'll go--the limit."
Etta s.h.i.+vered. She admired the courage, but it terrified her.
"There's something--something--awful about you, Lorna," she said. "You've changed till you're like a different person from what you were when you came to the restaurant. Sometimes--that look in your eyes--well, it takes my breath away."
"It takes _my_ breath away, too. Come on."
At the foot of the hill they took the shortest route for Vine Street, the highway of the city's night life.
Though they were so young and walked briskly, their impoverished blood was not vigorous enough to produce a reaction against the sharp wind of the zero night which nosed through their few thin garments and bit into their bodies as if they were naked. They came to a vast department store. Each of its great show-windows, flooded with light, was a fascinating display of clothing for women upon wax models--costly jackets and cloaks of wonderful furs, white, brown, gray, rich and glossy black; underclothes fine and soft, with ribbons and flounces and laces; silk stockings and graceful shoes and slippers; dresses for street, for ball, for afternoon, dresses with form, with lines, dresses elegantly plain, dresses richly embroidered. Despite the cold the two girls lingered, going from window to window, their freezing faces pinched and purple, their eyes gazing hungrily.