Harper's Round Table, July 2, 1895 Part 11

KNAVE OF HEARTS. Ay, verily, my liege. Verily I did. I plead now that I be allowed to bring them to the board.

KING OF HEARTS. Speakest thou the truth, Knave?

KNAVE OF HEARTS. Every word is truth, sire.

KING OF HEARTS. Then go thou and seek the fire-crackers. (_To the other KNAVES._) And go ye with him. (_To the KNAVE OF HEARTS._) The Queen holds my word that if thou bringest them back, I spare thy life. Now look to thyself. Away!

[_Exeunt, L., the four KNAVES._]

JOKER. It is a cheap life that costeth but eight fire-crackers!

KING OF SPADES. Ay, but the fire-crackers be worth more than yon Knave's life.

QUEEN OF HEARTS. Come, speak no more of his life. It is no longer forfeit. He hath promised rest.i.tution, and the King will bestow plenary pardon.

KING OF SPADES. Well, as for me, I am more anxious as to the crackers than as to any Knave's life.

[_Music. Enter, L., the four KNAVES, each bearing two large fire-crackers. There are tarts in each. The KNAVES sand side by side along the wall, L._]

KING OF SPADES. Aha, the fire-crackers, the fire-crackers!

QUEEN OF SPADES. And most wondrous, wondrous are they!

QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. Truly they be most marvellously fas.h.i.+oned.

KING OF HEARTS. Now, Knave, according to my promise, and because of the gracious intercession of the Queen, thy life is spared, for thou hast brought back the fire-crackers. Take them to the board. And if ever again thou art taken a thief, thou needst not reckon thy life at the hundredth part of a farthing.

KING OF SPADES. But, Sir King, the Knave did say he took the fire-crackers that he might place somewhat therein.

KING OF HEARTS. True, I remember he said so. Hast thou placed aught within them, Knave?

KNAVE OF HEARTS. Ay, my lord. When I did first purloin the Queen's tarts last summer, methought to eat them. But being so sorely beaten by your Majesty, I did refrain, and so kept the tarts uneaten. To-day I return the tarts in the fire-crackers, thereby making double rest.i.tution to her most charitable and generous Majesty the Queen of Hearts.

[_The KNAVES open the fire-crackers and shake out the tarts into a tray held by the JOKER._]

QUEEN OF HEARTS. The tarts?

[Ill.u.s.tration: "THE IDENTICAL TARTS!"]

KNAVE OF HEARTS. Ay, my Queen, the identical tarts.

QUEEN OF CLUBS. But they must be stale of the last summer?

JOKER. Nay, fair lady. These be royal tarts, and not of the general. Age cannot stale them, nor can human possibility limit their infinite variety.

QUEEN OF HEARTS. Taste them, fair cousins, taste them.

[_The JOKER pa.s.ses around the tarts; each player takes one._]

KING OF SPADES. And do I not taste? Do I have no tart?

QUEEN OF HEARTS. Ay, Sir King, there shall none go hungry here.

KING OF SPADES (_having taken a tart with each hand, bites out of each in turn as he speaks_). Ah, a strawberry tart and a gooseberry tart. But they be both most toothsome. Most excellent, most excellent, my lady of Hearts.

QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. Verily they are as if they had but just come from the oven!

QUEEN OF CLUBS. Most deliciously sweet.

QUEEN OF SPADES. So good I never tasted before.

KING OF HEARTS (_to KNAVE OF HEARTS_). It is well for thee, Knave, that thou hast so wisely demeaned thyself. The return of the tarts cleanses thee of all past evil-doing. Henceforth I hope thou wilt be, as before, a good Knave, a strong Knave, and a loyal Knave. Good friends, let us now to the banquet.

KING OF SPADES. A most laudable purpose!

[The KING OF HEARTS offers his hand to the QUEEN OF HEARTS, and conducts her from the throne to the front of the stage. The three other QUEENS rise and group themselves in a semicircle behind the KING and QUEEN OF HEARTS. Thus, beginning from the right side of the stage, the characters stand in this order in the semicircle: KING OF SPADES, QUEEN OF SPADES, KING OF CLUBS, QUEEN OF CLUBS, KING OF DIAMONDS, QUEEN OF DIAMONDS, JOKER, KNAVE OF HEARTS, KNAVE OF SPADES, KNAVE OF DIAMONDS, and KNAVE OF CLUBS.]

QUEEN OF HEARTS (addressing the audience).

Kind friends, our play is done.

The crackers are returned; Our end is won, The lesson's learned; And all that's left to do Upon this festive eve Is that we give to you Our thanks before you leave.

But as you go, take this; It is not quite a moral-- Yet the point you cannot miss, And so we shall not quarrel:

'Tis well the Knave did not retain These things, but brought them back.

'Tis good we made the King refrain From executing Jack, Else none could play at cards again Short one Knave in the pack.

[CURTAIN.]

The costumes of the Kings and Queens and Knaves should be made to correspond as nearly as possible with the costumes of those characters in a pack of playing-cards, the colors used being red, white, yellow, and black. The Joker should be dressed in the regulation costume of a court jester of the sixteenth century, with cap and bells. This player should be selected with particular regard for his ability to enact the part, which requires gracefulness, some ability to sing, and a careless, debonair manner of speaking. If there are enough players available, the spectacular effect of the piece can be greatly enhanced by adding soldiers and court attendants to the speaking characters. The latter should be dressed like the lower Heart cards of the pack. This effect may be obtained by dressing the players in tunics (something like the placards worn by the "sandwich-men" who display advertis.e.m.e.nts on the streets), on which the face of the card may be easily represented with pieces of red flannel cut into the shape of hearts. The stage decoration should be entirely of hearts arranged in every conceivable combination.

The fire-crackers should be of papier-mache, and made so as to open at one end. Such can be obtained at almost any confectioner's. The larger they are, the better. The tarts should be real tarts. Portieres should be hung in the two entrances, and if possible should resemble ancient tapestry. The effect of beating (when the King is punis.h.i.+ng the Knave of Hearts) is easily obtained by having some one behind the scenes beat a rug or carpet with a cane--the louder the better. The fire-crackers in the opening scene should be set off in an empty barrel behind the scenes. The characters must remember that they are representing figures on playing-cards, and should be careful always to take the att.i.tudes familiar to us on such cards. This is not required of the Joker. A pianist can add greatly to the effect of the performance by playing appropriate music at the entrance of the various characters, and at such other periods of the performance as may seem proper.

The four royal couples are supposed to represent different human characteristics. The Hearts are lovable, gentle, well-bred people. The Diamonds are rich, overbearing persons, and the Queen should be decked out with jewels. The Clubs represent social and political prominence and arrogance, and should hold themselves accordingly. The Spades are the exponents of the under-bred, uneducated, but well-meaning portion of society. Thus the Knave of Spades should be a good-natured fat fellow, meaning no harm, but not particularly comely or graceful.

If soldiers are added to the cast, they should enter with the King and Queen of Hearts, and take up their positions along the back of the stage at either side of the thrones. They should also stand by the doors, and should take the parts a.s.signed to the Knaves in the scene where the Knave of Hearts is dragged before the King, and led away to be punished.

But the returning of the fire-crackers must be done by the four Knaves.

The players who take the parts of the red cards should, if possible, be light haired, those who represent the black cards should be dark haired.

In the stage directions, R. stands for Right; L. for Left. The right and left sides of the stage correspond to the right and left sides of the spectators, not of the players.

GEORGE. "Mamma, baby's a stupid little fellow: the other day he cried for an hour, and then he didn't get it."

HOW TO BUILD AN INEXPENSIVE SHOOTING-BOAT.