Still Not Wanting to Forget Chapter 12

Si Nian reached for the thermos, but she wasn’t sure whether she should drink, so she just stared at the bottle.   “Drink, drink,” Shen Zhe quietly said. “Cheng Chen is a germaphobe, it’s only you that he doesn’t mind. Back then I had an agitating cough, I looked all over the studio for a bottle of water but there was none. Meanwhile he was drinking water, gulp after gulp, watching as if I cough to death in front of him.”   The water barely reached Si Nian’s throat before she almost choked.
  Because of Shen Zhe’s words, her attention finally was diverted. With a low voice, she asked, “I’m curious, do you actually like men?” Shen Zhe was stunned before laughing loudly. “I really like women, 101% like women.”   Si Nian pursed her lips. She stared at him, weighing his words. “Which type do you like?”   “She must be the same age as I am and able to understand what am I saying. Independent, best if she has her own career,” Shen Zhe answered after careful thought, “Someone who understands me, she must be someone who can embrace me when I’m being attacked by malicious rumours.”   …   “You’re almost 30 right? You like someone your age? Shouldn’t you like those tender young models or something?” Si Nian immediately felt a deep sense of respect for Shen Zhe.   But after she digested what the later half of his words, she thought that it didn’t sound right. “As long as you want to, when malicious rumours come up, those people who want to hug you would probably need to line up and take a number…”   “It’s not the same,” Shen Zhe said smiling. Slightly bashful, he continued, “Many of my fans are still students. For their sake, I would always try to set myself as an example. But my girlfriend will need to see my moody and imperfect side, such as when I’m shouting at someone, throwing things around, things like that.”   She quietly contemplated this, and then drank another gulp of water.   This wind here was inhuman. Even though they were close to the fire pit, she was still cold. There was a sudden weight on her shoulders, Cheng Chen actually placed his overcoat on her.   Si Nian turned around to look at him, suddenly overwhelmed with nostalgia. That first love of hers brought her many sweet moments but each one of them came from his voice and his strings of words on the Internet. Her biggest regret was that they never truly got to know each other. She stared Cheng Chen, Cheng Chen too stared at her.   His overcoat was too large, she was almost buried in it. The hem was touching the ground.   Before she was about to be embarra.s.singly touched over the coat, Cheng Chen looked away and said with a low voice, “If you know you’re coming to Xin Jiang, why didn’t you wear a thicker coat?”   The feelings that was getting too close to the surface was quickly supressed.   Si Nian twitched her nose, continuing to drink her water until none was left. “If I’m not like this, how would director have the chance to show off his attentiveness to the scriptwriter?”   Cheng Chen looked at her again. “How much longer are you going to stay mad?”   “I’m not mad?” Si Nian laughed dryly.   “I say,” Shen Zhe interrupted helplessly, fis.h.i.+ng a blood cube from the soup while sighing, “if you both dare to argue, then be daring enough to do it loudly…”   Both Cheng Chen and Si Nian stared at him.   Shen Zhe immediately put down his chopsticks. “I’m done eating.”   They were filming night scenes the next day, so Cheng Chen took Si Nian out to look around.   To avoid rumours, Si Nian brought along a few staff members who she was close to, on purpose. They waited for Cheng Chen in the hotel’s lobby but it was actually Tong Jia who showed up first. “I saw Director Cheng just now, he said he was going to look around. Since the scriptwriter is also going, I also decided to come along. We can discuss about the script while walking around.”   Si Nian didn’t say anything.   After a while, Cheng Chen showed up, walking leisurely with Shen Zhe.   When the group got onto the car, a.s.sistant scriptwriter Dong Xiao got overexcited and showered Cheng Chen with questions, asking if he knew how to go to places like the ancient city Beiting or the thousand-year Buddhist temple.   Shen Zhe immediately laughed. “Don’t believe what they say online. Those historical and scenic sites sound good but when you see them, they are only ruined stones and walls. Our plan today is to walk around. Director Cheng is also taking the opportunity to go to a hot spring resort to discuss some matters.”   “Is it Director Cheng’s next film?” Tong Jia saw her opportunity and immediately interrupted. She looked at Cheng Chen who was in the driver seat.   Cheng Chen made an “en” sound, he didn’t elaborate.   “Speaking about new films,” Cheng Chen quickly said, “I suddenly remembered that one of my friends submitted his film for approval a few days ago, the t.i.tle’s 33mm’s Romance. It was rejected on the spot.”   “Why?” Dong Xiao asked.   Si Nian found it ridiculous. Even though she thought the t.i.tle sounded laden with grief, but it shouldn’t be to the point that it couldn’t even get pa.s.s the inspection?   A male staff laughed loudly. “The inspectors are getting more and more powerful these days, they definitely are educated.”   “Quickly, tell us,” Tong Jia urged, also curious. She tugged the male staff’s arm. “Why?”   The staff was shocked at the movement but then explained, “It’s referring to that mm. You know, the mm that was used to prevent AIDs. I remember it’s medium size…”   Such an ambiguous explanation, everyone was quiet for a few minutes.   They laughed loudly once they realized. Even Cheng Chen was also smiling.   Si Nian stared at Cheng Chen. A thought suddenly formed in her mind. How many girlfriends did he have after her? No, that wasn’t it. She didn’t even know if he had one now…   Thanks to that lively conversation-starter, they discussed about various gossip throughout the journey. Mature topics were inevitably ambiguously flirtatious. Cheng Chen would also respond every now and then, only Si Nian played dead.   Shen Zhe repeatedly generated new conversation topics, until he brought up first love.   Wasn’t this topic too innocent?   After a.s.sistant scriptwriter Dong Xiao shared how he had an affair with his teacher, a.s.sistant director Liu Qing Qing narrated how exactly he managed to date a university junior. After everyone finished reminiscing their first loves, Shen Zhe gleefully glanced at Cheng Chen. “I met Director Cheng when I was in university, I only knew his first love was in high school. But the relevant love story, I didn’t even know any of it.”   Everyone else sported twinkling bright eyes, waiting for juicy gossip.   The car stopped at red light.   Cheng Chen braked, he was still quiet.   Ten seconds, twenty seconds, thirty seconds… only after the light turned green and everyone had gave up their hope for gossip, did he suddenly opened his mouth to speak. “It’s online dating.”   “Go on, go on,” Shen Zhe encouraged, overjoyed. He was the only one who knew the other party in that relations.h.i.+p was the one sitting in the back. The feeling as if he was the only sober one among a party of drunkards, it was absolutely the best.   “Back then I was upping my in-game level, suddenly a figure wearing mini-skirt ran to me and said ‘Too awesome, your name is too awesome’. Then in her second sentence she said, ‘Let’s get married, it’d be so flashy having a husband with your name’. I remembered that the character she was using was seldom used by people in that server. The character wore a blue mini-skirt, her hair was made up like a servant’s, and she had two cloisonné bowls on her head.”   …   Si Nian wanted to run her head into the gla.s.s window and die.   Shen Zhe coughed. “Just exactly what name did you use?”   “Jesus.”   …   Dong Xiao made a long stretch of “oh” sound. “So your wife’s name would be Jesus’s Wife… the best combination of Chinese and Western elements.”   Shen Zhe couldn’t resist throwing Si Nian a bewildered look. “Scriptwriter, you didn’t dream of it, did you. Our Director Cheng actually had such a silly first love.”   Si Nian gritted her teeth, answering, “Yes.”   Well, alright, she was the one who made the first love. She stared at the scenery zooming past outside, thinking about the beginning. Back then she was really in awe of his screen name, she didn’t expect him to really agree. That was how they got married, and they would even talk everyday thanks to that…   “To be honest, in the beginning, she heard that I was from a school attached to Peking University, a sixth year at that,” Cheng Chen continued his story in a leisurely pace, “Naturally she would make me do all her second year questions. She didn’t understand it when I explain her with in-game chat, so we added each other’s QQ.”   “Therefore, from talking about exams, you two start talking about your lives and dreams?” Tong Jia interrupted.   “She never spoke to me about life and dreams, she only complained how this teacher is too silly, how that teacher is biased, things like that.”   The car was close to its destination.   “She was bad at studying, I once wondered if she would be able to graduate.”   …   Si Nian watched in dismay as the scenery stopped in motion, as the car stopped.   So, that was how he perceived her.   “What happened next?” No one got down from the car. The conversation was going too great, it was too pure and too interesting.   “There was no ‘next’.” Cheng Chen pulled out the car keys, about to get down.   “There’s no ending?” Dong Xiao was regretful hearing that.   “I heard that when Director Cheng got into the arts academy, you got first place for cultural studies.” As a junior at the same academy, Tong Jia felt proud of such fact. “That little girl would definitely end up going to some vocational academy, she would not have any achievement. Perhaps when Director Cheng and her meet again, she would already be holding her child’s hand, working at a little store, handing him his change…”   Si Nian rolled her eyes.   How ignorant. Running stores were actually profitable business. Just pick any bubble tea store in Nanking West Road, their clean profit every month would be more than hundred million yuan.   To be honest, once her script changed hands, it was already at the mercy of the director.   She totally couldn’t see the point of her coming.   Most of them were too drowsy after lunch and went to sleep inside the resort rooms. Only then Cheng Chen called her into his room… to idly talk.   Si Nian could still hear how he described her earlier, she simply couldn’t regather her spirit.   “What are you thinking about? You look so out of it.” He sat down.   Both of her hands were gripping the mug. “Thinking about how you said I couldn’t graduate.”   “Didn’t you graduate?”   “But you thought that I couldn’t graduate.”   “… okay, I admit I made the wrong a.s.sumption.”   Si Nian looked at him smugly. “Tomorrow I’m booking a ticket to go back to Shanghai.”   …   Cheng Chen lowered his head, looking at her. He was quiet for a moment before saying, “I remember back then, I would get you mad at least once a day and then spend half an hour to coax you. After so, so many years… you still like to sulk.”   There were traces of laughter in his words, making her heart pound.   She was actually not sulking at all. She was just considering how she could save time and accept a few more script-writing proposals… but once Cheng Chen mentioned the past, she was tongue-tied, not knowing what to say.   Cheng Chen suddenly took the mug out of her hands, placing it on the bedside table.   Si Nian lifted her head, flabbergasted. She watched him as he stood up, staring at her.   Whenever they argued in the past, he would get so mad that he would say this to her: “If you’re standing in front of me right now…” Afterwards he would swallow whatever he was going to say next and sulk on the phone.   Therefore, now she was truly in front of him.   Cheng Chen, what would you do?   He gently touched her face with the back of his hand, almost barely at all. “Still angry?”   Si Nian could feel all the blood rus.h.i.+ng upwards, she don’t feel quite… clear-headed.   A voice interrupted behind the door. “Director Cheng, the PR and investment companies…” Li Qing Qing suddenly stopped. With a slam, the door was closed again.   Si Nian jumped up from the bed, close to tears. “Why didn’t you close the door…”