The American Credo Part 18

--317

That a bachelor never has any one to sew the b.u.t.tons on his clothes.

--318

That whenever a dog wags his tail it is a sign that he is particularly happy.

--319

That an Italian street labourer can do a hard day's work on one large plate of spaghetti a day.

--320

That if one breaks a mirror one will have bad luck for seven years.

--321

That two men seldom agree that the same girl is good-looking.

--322

That in the infinitesimal s.p.a.ce of time between the springing of the trap-door and his dropping through it, a hanged man sees his entire life pa.s.s in panorama before him.

--323

That when Was.h.i.+ngton crossed the Delaware, he stood up in the bow of the boat holding aloft a large American flag.

--324

That whereas a man always hopes his first child will be a boy, his wife always hopes that it will be a girl.

--325

That the first time a boy smokes a cigar he always becomes deathly sick.

--326

That a woman always makes a practice of being deliberately late in keeping an appointment with a man.

--327

That if, encountering a savage beast in the jungle, one falls upon the ground, lies still and pretends that one is dead, the savage beast will promptly make off and not hurt one.

--328

That if one sits in front of the Cafe de la Paix, in Paris, one will soon or late see everybody in the world that one knows.

--329

That it is always twice as hard to get rid of a summer cold as to get rid of a winter cold.

--330

That a soft speaking voice is the invariable mark of a well-bred man.

--331

That the persons who most vociferously applaud the playing of "Dixie" in restaurants are all Northerners who have never been further South than Allentown, Pa.

--332

That the larger the dog, the safer he is for children.

--333

That Catholic priests never solicit money from their paris.h.i.+oners, but merely a.s.sess them so much a head, and make them pay up instantly.

--334

That nine times in ten when one is in pain, and a doctor a.s.sures one that he is squirting morphine into one's arm, what he is really squirting in is only warm water.

--335

That a German civilian, before the war, had to get off the sidewalk whenever an army lieutenant approached him on the street, and that, if he failed to do so instantly, the lieutenant was free to run him through with his sword.

--336

That while it may be possible, in every individual case of spiritualist communication with the dead, to prove fraud by the medium, the acc.u.mulated effect of such communications is to demonstrate the immortality of the soul.