The American Credo Part 23

--417

That John D. Rockefeller has a great mind, and would make a fine President if it were not for his craze for money.

--418

That all the Jews who were drafted during the late war were put into the Quartermaster's Department on account of their extraordinary business ac.u.men.

--419

That a jury never convicts a pretty woman.

--420

That chorus girls in the old days got so tired of drinking champagne that the sound of a cork popping made them shudder.

--421

That the Ma.s.sachusetts troops, after the first battle of Bull Run, didn't stop running until they reached Harrisburg, Pa.

--422

That General Grant was always soused during a battle, and that on the few occasions when he was sober he got licked.

--423

That the late King Edward used to carry on in Paris at such a gait that he shocked even the Parisians.

--424

That it takes an Englishman two days to see a joke, and that he always gets it backward even then.

--425

That headwaiters in fas.h.i.+onable hotels make $100 a day.

--426

That if a bat flies into a woman's hair, the hair must be cut off to get it out.

--427

That all the women in Chicago have very large feet.

--428

That on cold nights policemen always sneak into stables on their beats and go to sleep.

--429

That all the school-boys in Boston have bulged brows, wear large spectacles and can read Greek.

--430

That all dachshunds come from Germany.

--431

That nine out of every ten Frenchmen have syphilis.

--432

That the frankfurters sold at circuses and pleasure parks are made of dog meat.

--433

That all the cheaper brands of cigarettes are sophisticated with drugs, and in time cause those who smoke them to get softening of the brain.

--434

That rock-and-rye will cure a cold.

--435

That a country boy armed with a bent pin can catch more fish than a city angler with the latest and most expensive tackle.

--436

That red-haired girls are especially virulent.