In Pastures New Part 19

Hep! Hep! Horay!

Hep! Hep! Horay!

Hep! Hep! Horay!

All right! Thank you!

This effort represented their sum total of English, and they were very proud of it, and we liked it, too--that is, the first million times.

After that, the charm of novelty was largely dissipated.

Many people visit a.s.souan because of the kiln-dried atmosphere, which is supposed to have a discouraging effect on rheumatism and other ailments that flourish in a damp climate. a.s.souan is as dry as Pittsburg on Sunday. It is surrounded by desert and the sun always seems to be working overtime. The traveller who does much rambling out of doors gradually a.s.sumes the brown and papery complexion of a royal mummy, his lips become parched and flaky, and he feels like a grocery store herring, which, it is believed, is about the driest thing on record.

We did love a.s.souan. Coming back from a camel ride, with a choppy sea on, gazing through the heat waves at the tufted palms and the s.h.i.+mmering white walls, we would know that there was ice only a mile ahead of us, and then our love for a.s.souan would become too deep for words.

Burton Holmes, the eminent lecturer and travelogue specialist, was lying up at a.s.souan, having a tiresome argument with the germ that invented malaria. He had come up the Nile in a deep draught boat and had succeeded in finding many sand bars that other voyagers had overlooked. Just below a.s.souan the boat wedged itself into the mud and could not be floated until thirty natives, summoned from the surrounding country, had waded underneath and "boosted" all afternoon.

When it came time to pay the men the captain of the boat said to Mr.

Holmes: "What do you think? They demand eight s.h.i.+llings."

"It is an outrage," said Mr. Holmes. "Eight s.h.i.+llings is two dollars.

Even in America I can get union labour for two dollars a day. There are thirty of them. Couldn't we compromise for a lump sum of fifty dollars?"

"You do not understand," said the captain. "We are asked to pay eight s.h.i.+llings for the whole crowd. I think that six would be enough."

Whereupon Mr. Holmes gave them ten s.h.i.+llings, or 8 1-3 cents each, and as he sailed away the grateful a.s.semblage gave three rousing cheers for Mr. Rockefeller.

When we left a.s.souan we scooted by rail direct to Cairo, to rest up and recover from our recuperation.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Important! Rus.h.!.+ Egyptian news!]

It is customary in winding up a series of letters to draw certain profound conclusions and give hints to travellers who may hope to follow the same beaten path. Fortunately, Mr. Peasley had done this for us. He promised a real estate agent in Fairfield, Iowa, that he would let him know about Egypt. One night in a.s.souan he read to us the letter to his friend, and we borrowed it:--

a.s.souan, Some time in April.

Deloss M. Gifford, Fairfield, Iowa, U.S.A.

My Dear Giff:--

I have gone as far up the Nile as my time and the letter of credit will permit. At 8 G.M. to-morrow I turn my face toward the only country on earth where a man can get a steak that hasn't got goo poured all over it. Meet me at the station with a pie. Tell mother I am coming home to eat.

Do I like Egypt? Yes--because now I will be satisfied with Iowa. Only I'm afraid that when I go back and see 160 acres of corn in one field I won't believe it. Egypt is a wonderful country, but very small for its age. It is about as wide as the court house square, but it seems to me at least 10,000 miles long, as we have been two weeks getting up to the First Cataract. Most of the natives are farmers. The hard-working tenant gets one-tenth of the crop every year and if he looks up to see the steamboats go by he is docked. All Egyptians who are not farmers are robbers. The farmers live on the river. All other natives live on the tourists. I have seen so many tombs and crypts and family vaults that I am ashamed to look an undertaker in the face. For three weeks I have tried to let on to pretend to make a bluff at being deeply interested in these open graves. Other people gushed about them and I was afraid that if I didn't trail along and show some sentimental interest they might suspect that I was from Iowa and was shy on soulfulness. I'll say this much, however--I'm mighty glad I've seen them, because now I'll never have to look at them again.

Egypt is something like the old settler--you'd like to roast him and call him down, but you hate to jump on anything so venerable and weak.

Egypt is so old that you get the headache trying to think back. Egypt had gone through forty changes of administration and was on the down grade before Iowa was staked out.

The princ.i.p.al products of this country are insects, dust, guides, and fake curios. I got my share of each. I am glad I came, and I may want to return some day, but not until I have worked the sand out of my ears and taken in two or three county fairs. I have been walking down the main aisle with my hat in my hand so long that now I am ready for something lively.

Americans are popular in Egypt, during business hours. Have not been showered with social attentions, but I am always comforted by the thought that the exclusive foreign set cannot say anything about me that I haven't already said about it. Of course, we could retaliate in proper fas.h.i.+on if we could lure the foreigners out to Iowa, but that seems out of the question. They think Iowa is in South America.

I shall mail this letter and then chase it all the way home.

Give my love to everybody, whether I know them or not. Yours,

PEASLEY.

P.S.--Open some preserves.

Not a comprehensive review of the fruits of our journey and yet fairly accurate.

THE END