Dramatic Technique Part 51

glorious thoughts come to me.

I am kept busy reading and _Mrs. Brown._ We said almost answering letters from my nothing while Salmon read. We friends. I have with me my felt in our blindness G.o.d had Bible, here. (_Placing his hand been unfaithful to you and the on the leather-bound volume at the boys.

end of the table._) It is of infinite comfort. I never enjoyed _Brown._ My dear wife, you must life more than since coming to keep up your spirits. Don't blame prison. I wish all my poor family G.o.d. He has taken away my sword of were as composed and as happy. steel, but He has given me the sword of the Spirit.

_Mrs. Brown._ We have become more _Mrs. Brown_. (Looking up _into and more resigned. his face with almost a sad smile upon her._) That sounds just like _Brown._ Do any feel disgrace or you, John. We have become more shame? and more resigned.

_Mrs. Brown._ Not one, John. _Brown._ Do any feel disgrace You are, in our eyes, a n.o.ble or shame?

martyr. The chains on your legs bind our hearts all the closer _Mrs. Brown._ Not one, John.

to you. You are, in our eyes, a n.o.ble martyr. The chains on your legs bind our hearts all the _Brown._ That gives me comfort, closer to you.

Mary. No man can get into difficulties too big to be _Brown._ Tell me more about the surmounted, if he has a firm family.

foothold at home.

_Mrs. Brown._ Owen doesn't dare _Mrs. Brown._ You made a mistake come home yet.

only in judging how much you could do. _Brown._ Do you know where he is?

_Brown._ I have been a great deal disappointed in myself for _Mrs. Brown._ Hiding among not keeping to my plan. I acted friends in Ohio. Poor boy, he is against my better judgment. called all kinds of vile names, just for being with you.

_Mrs. Brown._ But after taking the a.r.s.enal, why didn't you flee _Brown._ For the cause we have to the mountains, as we thought all suffered much in the past; you would? we shall have to in the future.

We should rejoice at his escape.

_Brown._ The delay was my mistake.

But in G.o.d's greater and broader _Mrs. Brown._ I do, John. And plan, maybe it was infinitely Oliver and Watson _did die_ for better. It was fore-ordained to a great and good cause!

work out that way, determined before the world was made. (_Said with spirit._)

_Mrs. Brown._ His ways are _Brown._ Some day, all the mysterious and wonderful. people of the earth will say that.

(_Avis comes in._) (_Avis comes in._)

There are several faults in the original dialogue, but perhaps the chief is not regarding the principle that clearness dramatically consists, not merely in stating needed facts, but in so stating them that interest is not allowed to lapse. The original dialogue was sc.r.a.ppy, lacking sequence, not so much of thought as of emotion. If it be said that at such a moment talk is often fitful, it must be remembered that our time-limits forbid giving every word said in such a scene. We must present merely its essentials. Only in that way may a play, a condensed presentation of life, hope to give a total effect for a scene equal to that of the original. The re-ordered dialogue of the right-hand column seeks merely to bring together ideas really closely related, and to move, in a way in keeping with the characters, from lesser to stronger emotion. With the disappearance of the sc.r.a.ppy effect, is not the result clearer? Even now, the dialogue might well be condensed and made emotionally more significant.

If we let the dialogue of a play merely state necessary facts, what is the result? At the worst, something like the left-hand column. Two young women, one the married hostess and the other the friend of her girlhood, are opening their morning mail on the piazza. Serena, the hostess, has known nothing of the engagement of Elise to Teddy.

ORIGINAL REVISION

_Elise._ (_Looking up from her_ _Elise._ Is he coming?

_letters._) Is he coming?

_Serena._ I don't know yet, but I _Serena._ I don't know yet, but I wish he were still in South Africa.

wish he were still in South Look at this: (_Showing letter_.) A Africa. If he does come, I don't letter from Aunt Deborah.

know what will happen. There's a letter from Aunt Deborah. _Elise._ Yes?

_Elise._ Yes? What does she _Serena._ Aunt Deborah had a want? terrible quarrel with Teddy just before he went!

_Serena._ Did you know she had a terrible quarrel with _Elise._ Oh, that must be all made Teddy just before he went to up now.

South Africa?

_Serena._ Listen! (_Reading from _Elise._ I had a vague idea letter_.) "If I see that man I'll of it. It must all be made up have a shock," and (_with a now and they'll be delighted despairing gesture_) she very to meet here. gladly accepts our invitation!

_Serena._ No, she won't. She says she's sure she'll have a shock if she sees him and very gladly accepts our kind invitation because so she can avoid meeting him.

From the left-hand column we surely do learn that a before-mentioned Teddy has been in South Africa; that he and a certain Aunt Deborah have quarreled; and that though she particularly does not wish to meet Teddy, she is coming, as he is, to visit at this house--three important points.

Like everyday speech, the quoted dialogue lacks compactness. Let us first, therefore, cut out all that is not absolutely necessary. We do not need, in the first speech of Elise, anything more than the query, "Yes?" The inflection will give the rest. In the second speech of Serena we can cut "to South Africa," for we have already mentioned where Teddy has been. In the second speech of Elise, it is the words "It must be all made up now" that are important. What precedes and what follows may be omitted. Similarly, in the first and second speeches of Serena, it is the first and the third sentences which are important. The second, if given, really antic.i.p.ates an effect which will be stronger later. If we change the second speech from a query to an a.s.sertion or an exclamation, we shall gain and slightly condense. It will then read, "Aunt Deborah had a terrible quarrel with Teddy just before he went!" Because we have cut the last speech of Elise, the first sentence of the next speech of Serena becomes unnecessary. It will be necessary, however, to re-phrase what remains of this final speech, so hard is it to deliver. The revised dialogue may still be poor enough, but it says all the original did in less s.p.a.ce--that is condensation. The effect is better because we have cut out some parts, and have slightly changed others. That is selection.

The slight changes have been made in order to make the sequence of ideas clearer, to suggest emotion more clearly, or to make the dialogue natural--and all that means the beginning of characterization. The final word on this dialogue is, however, that even now either speaker could utter the words of the other, and that is all wrong. Clearly, then, even in stating facts, dialogue may be bad, indifferent, and good.

The following opening of a j.a.panese No drama shows that even more trained writers may write dialogue with no virtue except its clearness:

TWO HEARTS

_A drama by J. Mushakoji_

SCENE: _A forest glade on the n.o.bleman's estate. A cross for crucifixion in the foreground. Two men A and B standing on either side of the cross holding spears._

_A._ That fellow has behaved foolishly!

_B._ Yes, and the girl also.

_A._ It was certain that they would be killed when found out.

_B._ And nothing could prevent the discovery.

_A._ Our master is extremely indignant.

_B._ There has not been one person crucified since the present lord succeeded.

_A._ Although the stewards have a.s.sured him that it is the established law of the land, the present master has never given permission for the punishment of criminals by crucifixion and fire. But now he has announced that he will kill them in this manner, and we are commissioned to carry out the disagreeable duty.

_B._ Even though we refused to obey the command at first and requested him to excuse us he would not listen to our pet.i.tion.

_A._ The master must have been very fond of this young girl.

_B._ Yes. Rumour has it that he became attached to her while the late mistress was still living.

_A._ He did not care very much for his wife. Anyway, she was too inferior to be his companion.

_B._ It was said that he did not grieve over her death.

_A._ And I have heard that the girl fainted when her mistress died.

_B._ She must have been a favourite among the other attendants who accompanied the lady when she became the wife of the lord.

_A._ She was clever and pretty and had a strong character.

_B._ Why did the girl fall in love with that fellow, I wonder?

_A._ He is the kind of a man a woman admires.

_B._ And because the girl loved him he now receives such severe punishment.

_A._ We can never tell. What seems good luck may mean unexpected misfortune.

_B._ She would have been happier if she had obeyed the master's will instead of rejecting him.

_A._ Probably she did not like him.

_B._ But he seemed to care a great deal for her.