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And he led her out--Was ever such a condescension! He led her out to her husband, who, being a little recovered, was just about to give some money to the servant, who was retiring from the offer.--n.o.body, said my guardian, graciously smiling, pays my servants but myself, Mr. O'Hara.
They are good people, and merit my favour.
And he went to the very door with my mother. I could not. I ran back, crying for joy, into the drawing-room, when they went out of it. I could not bear myself. How could I, you know, madam?--Captain Salmonet all the time wiped his eyes, shrugged his shoulders, lifted up his hands, and cried out upon Jesu; and once or twice he crossed himself: but all the time my guardian looked and acted, as if those actions and praises were nothing to be proud of.
When he came in to me, I arose, and threw myself at his feet; but could only say, Thank you, sir, for your goodness to my mother. He raised me.
He sat down by me: See, child, (said he, and he took my hand: my heart was sensible of the favour, and throbbed with joy,) what it is in the power of people of fortune to do. You have a great one. Now your mother is married, I have hopes of her. They will at least keep up appearances to each other, and to the world. They neither of them want sense. You have done an act of duty and benevolence both in one. The man who would grudge them this additional 200. a year out of your fortune, to make your parent happy, shall not have my Emily--Shall he?
Your Emily, your happy Emily, sir, has not, cannot have a heart that is worth notice, if it be not implicitly guided by you.--This I said, madam: and it is true.
And did he not, said I, clasp his Emily to his generous bosom, when you said so?
No, madam; that would have been too great an honour: but he called me, good child! and said, you shall never be put to pay me an implicit regard: your own reason (and he called me child again) shall always be the judge of my conduct to you, and direct your observances of my advice.
Something like this he said; but in a better manner than I can say it.
He calls me oftener child, madam, than any thing else when we are alone together; and is not quite so free, I think, at such times, in his behaviour to me, (yet is vastly gracious, I don't know how,) as when we are in company--Why is that? I am sure, I equally respect him, at one time as at another--Do you think, madam, there is any thing in the observation? Is there any reason for it?--I do love to study him, and to find out the meaning of his very looks as well as words. Sir Charles Grandison's heart is the book of heaven--May I not study it?
Study it, my love! while you have an opportunity. But he will soon leave us: he will soon leave England.
So I fear: and I will love and pity the poor Clementina, whose heart is so much wounded and oppressed. But my guardian shall be n.o.body's but yours. I have prayed night and day, the first thing and the last thing, ever since I have heard of Lady Clementina, that you, and n.o.body but you, may be Lady Grandison: and I will continue my prayers.--But will you forgive me: I always conclude them with praying, that you will both consent to let the poor Emily live with you.
Sweet girl! The poor Emily, said she?--I embraced her, and we mingled tears, both our hearts full, each for the other; and each perhaps for herself.
She hurried away. I resumed my pen.--Run off what had pa.s.sed, almost as swift as thought. I quit it to prepare to attend my cousins to St.
James's-square.
LETTER XIV
MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION WEDNESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 5.
Miss Grandison, as I told you, took with her my letter of yesterday. As soon as my cousin Reeves and I entered Sir Charles's house, the two sisters conducted us into the drawing-room adjoining to the dining-parlour, and congratulated me on the high compliment their brother had made me, though in preference to themselves, and his communicativeness and tender behaviour to me. Lord L---- joined us, and he, having read the letter, congratulated me also--On what, Lucy?--Why on the possibility, that if the unhappy Clementina should die; or if she should be buried for life in a nunnery; or if she should be otherwise disposed of; why then, that your Harriet may have room given her to hope for a civil husband in Sir Charles Grandison, and half a heart: Is not this the sum of these humbling congratulations?
Sir Charles, when we came, was in his study with Mr. Lowther, the surgeon whom he had engaged to go abroad with him: but he just came out to welcome us; and then returned.--He had also with him two physicians, eminent for their knowledge in disorders of the head, to whom he had before communicated the case of the unhappy Clementina; and who brought to him in writing their opinions of the manner in which she ought to be treated, according to the various symptoms of her disorder.
When he joined us, he told us this; and said very high things at the same time in praise of the English surgeons; and particularly of this gentleman: and added, that as nervous disorders were more frequent in England, than in any country in the world, he was willing to hope, that the English physicians were more skilful than those of any other country in the management of persons afflicted with such maladies: and as he was now invited over, he was determined to furnish himself with all the means he could think of, that were likely to be useful in restoring and healing friends so dear to him.
Miss Grandison told him, that we were all in some apprehensions, on his going to ltaly, of that fierce and wrong-headed man the general. Miss Byron, said she, has told us, that Mrs. Beaumont advises not your going over.
The young Marquis della Porretta, said he, is hasty; but he is a gallant man, and loves his sister. His grief on the unhappy situation they are in demands allowance. It is natural in a heavy calamity to look out of ourselves for the occasion. I have not any apprehensions from him, or from any body else. The call upon me is a proper one. The issue must be left where it ought to be left. If my visit will give comfort to any one of the family, I shall be rewarded: If to more than one, happy--And, whatever be the event, shall be easier in myself, than I could be, were I not to comply with the request of the bishop, were he only to have made it.
Lord L---- asked Sir Charles, whether he had fixed the day of his setting out?
I have, said he, within this half hour. Mr. Lowther has told me, that he shall be ready by the beginning of next week; and on Sat.u.r.day sennight I hope to be at Dover, on my way.
We looked upon one another. Miss Grandison told me afterwards, that my colour went and came several times, and that she was afraid for me. My heart was indeed a little affected. I believe I must not think of taking leave of him when he sets out. Ah, Lucy! Nine days hence!--Yet, in less than nine days after that, I shall be embraced by the tenderest relations that ever creature had to boast of.
Sir Charles taking his sister aside, I want, said he, to say a few words to you, Charlotte. They were about half an hour together; and then returning, I am encouraged to think, said he, that Charlotte will give her hand to Lord G----. She is a woman of honour, and her heart must therefore go with it.--I have a request to make to her, before all you our common friends--The Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, Lord G----, all join in one suit: it is, that I may be allowed to give my sister to Lord G---- before I leave England.
I have told you, brother, that it is impossible, if you go away in nine or ten days time.
Sir Charles particularly requested my influence. I could have no doubt, I said, but Miss Grandison would oblige her brother.
She vehemently opposed so early a day.
In a most affectionate manner, yet with an air of seriousness, he urged his request. He said, that it was very proper for him to make some dispositions of his affairs before he went abroad. He should leave England with much more pleasure, if he saw his Charlotte the wife of a man so worthy as Lord G----: Lord G----, said he, adores you: You intended to be his: Resolve to oblige your brother, who, though he cannot be happy himself, wishes to see you so.
O, Sir Charles! said she, you ruin me by your solemnity, and by your goodness.
The subject is not a light one. I am greatly in earnest, Charlotte. I have many affairs on my hands. My heart is in this company; yet my engagements will permit me but few opportunities to enjoy it between this and Tuesday next. If you deny me now, I must acquiesce: If you have more than punctilio to plead, say you have; and I will not urge you farther.
And so this is the last time of asking, sir? A little archly--
Not the last time of my Lord G----'s, but of mine--But I will not allow you now to answer me lightly. If you can name a day before Tuesday, you will greatly oblige me. I will leave you to consider of it. And he withdrew.
Every one then urged her to oblige her brother. Lady L---- very particularly. She told her, that he was ent.i.tled to her compliance; and that he had spoken to her on this subject in a still more earnest manner.
She should hardly be able to excuse her, she said, if the serious hint he had given about settling his affairs before he went abroad, had not weight with her. You know, Charlotte, continued she, that he can have no motive but your good; and you have told me, that you intend to have Lord G----; and that you esteem his father, his aunt, and every one of his family, whom you have seen; and they are all highly pleased with you.
Settlements are already drawn: that my brother told you last night.
Nothing is wanting but your day.
I wish he was in half the hurry to be married himself.
So he would be, I dare say, if marriage were as much in his power, as it is in yours.
What a deuse, to be married to a man in a week's time, with whom I have quarrelled every day for a fortnight past!--Pride and petulance must go down by degrees, sister. A month, at least, is necessary, to bring my features to such a placidness with him, as to allow him to smile in my face.
Your brother has hinted, Charlotte, said I, that he loves you for your vivacity; and should still more, if you consulted time and occasion.
He has withdrawn, sister, said Lord L----, with a resolution, if you deny him, to urge you no further.
I hate his peremptoriness.
Has he not told you, Charlotte, said I, and that in a manner so serious, as to affect every body, that there is a kind of necessity for it?
I don't love this Clementina, Harriet: all this is owing to her.
Just then a rapping at the door signified visitors; and Emily ran in-- Lord G----, the Earl, and Lady Gertrude, believe me!
Miss Grandison changed colour. A contrivance of my brother's!--Ah, Lord!
Now shall I be beset!--I will be sullen, that I may not be saucy.
Sullen you can't be, Charlotte, said Lady L----: but saucy you can.
Remember, however, my brother's earnestness, and spare Lord G---- before his father and aunt, or you will give me, and every body, pain.
How can I? Our last quarrel is not made up: but advise him not to be either impertinent or secure.
Immediately enter'd Sir Charles, introducing the Earl and Lady Gertrude.
After the first compliments, Pray, Sir Charles, said Miss Grandison, drawing him aside, towards me, and whispering, tell me truly: Did you not know of this visit?