Julius Caesar Chapter 42

"You are so f.u.c.ked," was the first thing he uttered after a long period of silence . In response, I limply raised my hands out of the water, then dropped them again with two 'plops' .

"How the h.e.l.l did she know?! Whom the f.u.c.k told her?" He said suddenly angry .

"She had to know," I said faintly . "I couldn't possibly hide behind that fake, caring person for any longer . "

"You are caring-" Augustus started and I snorted .

"Wrong . " I blurted . "I don't actually care about anyone except for whom I'm possessive about . " I tilted my head to glance at him . His eyebrows were raised . He was painfully serious .

"Possessive?" He said as if the word was foreign to him .

"Unfortunately," I added with a sigh . It was all just so dramatic . "I can't imagine losing them for anything . Because they're mine . And I'd die for them . "

"So that's why Samantha's rejection messed you up . " He said with a tone of understanding . "Because when you own something, you never imagine losing it forever . And you lost her for your past . "

"I lost her for who I am," I said as matter-of-factly . "But this was different . I for once imagined it- I imagined losing her . And seeing it happen was a whole other level of disaster . You want to know why?" I almost whispered the last part, as I let my right index finger randomly graze the surface of the water . I took his silence as an acceptance to carry on .

"Because even when I imagined it," I said with a sad sigh . "I imagined that she'd have hope in me . I imagined that she'd forgive me . That she'd tell me the past is in the past . But-" I pointed out . "-hatred and fear were all that was evident in her eyes . "

I glanced at Augustus again who had his lips pursed into a thin line . "You'll get over her, right?" was what he asked cautiously .

"I will, of course," I said simply with a smile . "I can get over anyone," I added bitterly . "I've already accepted my fate . I actually just did," I chuckled lightly . "I was meant to spend the next years of my life in solitude . And it isn't really as bad as it sounds . "

"I'll be around," Augustus added with a weak smile .

"No . You won't, actually . " I said s.h.i.+fting heavily in the tub and craning my neck to look at his pale countenance . "I will disappear from your life just like I appeared . "

He shook his head and my smile widened .

"But that isn't possessive s.h.i.+t . " He said, frowning and my smile faltered a bit .

"It is," I said . "I mean, you saw what happened to everyone I cared about . My 'possessiveness' was poisonous to them . So out of my love and possessiveness, Gustus, I let them go . That's the right thing to do . "

"You're just being dramatic right now . You don't know what you're saying . " Augustus said with a shrug and a hesitant, lopsided smile .

"You know that I'm not being dramatic . You know that what I'm saying is the truth . Augustus . " I said catching his eyes . He looked away . "I was the reason behind Audrey's death . And Samantha's heartbreak . And your heart bre-" I said referring to Sam .

"I still don't care about you less," Augustus said his eyes dancing around the place . "Samantha leaving you doesn't make you bad . It just means that she isn't the right one t-"

At that, I actually chuckled . "I'm a murderer, Gustus . There isn't a 'right' one for me . I killed . l.u.s.ted after blood . I was so very cruel . Ask your father about me . "

"Bulls.h.i.+t, Julius . " He said shaking his head . "You're pure from the inside . "

I frowned and then laughed . "That's not possible . Think about it, Augustus . Like think about it . I am dark, brother . I did the worst possible crime . I don't know purity . I am not like those guys in the books who find the love of their life and suddenly believe in hope and change .

"I can't lie though . I tried imitating them at times . I tried believing that I could actually be a better person . That Audrey's cruel death flipped some magical switch in me . I didn't know-" I smirked . "I didn't know that this switch was stuck . That it can only be on . You know? I-" I chuckled darkly . "-felt angry when Father was telling me the truth about myself . I actually felt angry . " I laughed hopelessly and shook my head . "He was right . I was being a pathetic hypocrite . "

"Don't say that, mate . " Augustus tried and I smirked . "Your care was real . Your emoti-"

"Emotions," I said s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g my face irritably . "b.l.o.o.d.y nuisance . "

"Well, at least you got them . " He pointed out . "That doesn't deem you as a hopeless case, brother . "

"Oh, I'll get rid of them soon enough . I'll return to what I was before I knew Audrey and witnessed her death . " I said with a dismissive hand wave .

"So what?" Augustus then started, his voice suddenly angry . "You'll stop being human and be happy about it? You'll leave the girl who loves-"

"Loved . " I corrected with an easy smile .

"The girl who loves you," Augustus repeated persistently . "You'll leave her after killing her father, stealing her heart and freeing your life? I'd be b.l.o.o.d.y p.i.s.sed . "

I looked at him and raised my eyebrows . "So what do you reckon?" I said with a scowl . "Should I go beg for her forgiveness? Beg her to forgive who I am? Beg her to love me?" I clenched my jaws . "Never . "

"You're being a pig about this whole s.h.i.+t . " He said, frowning . I ignored him . "She should've killed you . If I were her, I'd do it . "

"She actually tried to kill me," I said, grinning .

"I do not blame her . " Augustus snapped .

"You don't blame her?" I looked at him incredulously .

"I don't!" he said exasperatedly . "She doesn't even know you! She doesn't know the real Julius Caesar . She only knows that good guy who -bless him- held her hands when she was blind and introduced his brother . She knows that guy . She doesn't know your real story, dammit . She doesn't know why you're like this . She doesn't know about Dad . She doesn't know that that's how your childhood was spent . " He leaned toward me and frowned . "She doesn't know s.h.i.+t about you . "

"I'm not going to force myself on anyone . I do not need it . " I said solidly .

"So instead of looking for whoever the h.e.l.l ruined you, you'll sit here, sulk in a b.l.o.o.d.y tub with an empty bottle of Scotch, and be so b.l.o.o.d.y useless?" He grimaced .

"Wow," I whispered loudly . "How did you know that?" I added with a lazy smile .

"Can't believe I'm saying this- but you're being so ludicrously ridiculous!" He said and I chuckled bemusedly . I then stopped, looked at him and clenched my jaws .

"Forget it . " I snapped sharply .

"Forget it . " I snapped sharply .

"If you're going to wait here and expect her to return then you're so wrong . " He said with disgust . "You'll be disappointed and I swear to you that you'll regret it . "

"I don't expect her," I said gently . "I do not expect her to return . And if she did-" I said remembering her . Her slender fingers, dark soft hair, soft pink lips and deep blue eyes . I felt my heart beat fasten . I closed my eyes . "If she ever returns, I shall make sure to turn her away y-"

Augustus' lips twitched in annoyance . "She'll never return . "

"True," I said with a faint smile . I remembered her smile and remembered her nose crinkling when she laughed . "Because if she expects that good guy, she better not return . "

"That good guy who's basically you, but not you," Augustus said rolling his eyes . "Some concept you have . "

"You really don't see it, do you?" I said shaking my head . "I'm a murderer . A murderer, Gustus . That's a bad thing if you didn't know . "

"You were forced to-"

"See? That's where you go wrong again . " I said with a smirk . "I chose to do thi-"

"To please your father!" He said angrily and I shook my head, saying nothing . "Did you forget what you told me? Did you forget Audrey? You've had your punishment . "

"I don't think so . Not yet . " I said, my throat sore . "But you know what I think? I think I'm starting to get bad again . "

"You don't actually believe that you are who you were," Augustus said, shaking his head . "You can't actually think that you're capable of killing again . Of doing what you used to do . "

I looked at him as a dark smile slowly crept on my face . "Watch me . "

Augustus frowned . "f.u.c.k you, Julius . If you really think that you're a b.l.o.o.d.y murderer, get the h.e.l.l out of the water and go kiss Dad's a.s.s! Get the f.u.c.k out, grab a b.l.o.o.d.y knife and drive it in a beating heart! But you're too b.l.o.o.d.y weak for this . You act," he paused to take a breath . "You act like you're so -oh- untouchable, so heartless, but it's a big lie you weaved yourself in . "

I smirked and stared ahead of me, ignoring him .

"And it's th-this lie, this lie that gave you the permission to kill . To try killing yourself . To leave Samantha . To ignore me . It's this lie that you were too stupid to believe . You believed that you are a heartless monster . " He said breathlessly as my face screwed in anger .

"Shut up . " I drawled, rolling my eyes .

"b.l.o.o.d.y coward," was his response . "Look me in the eyes and say it again . "

I turned to him with a mocking scowl . "Shut the fu-" but I was cut by having my head pushed under the water .

My heart beat fast in shock as I shook my head . My hair obscured my vision, but I felt Augustus's hands on my shoulders . I held his wrists and squeezed hard, but I was too weak from the hangover . Bubbles rose from my mouth as I tried s.h.i.+fting my whole weight . I was losing my oxygen quickly and used my hands to clutch my throat instead as I tilted back my head breathlessly . And that was when I started swallowing so much water .

I was feeling like dying when the pressure on my shoulders was removed . I immediately broke the surface of the water and inhaled as I coughed out some water .

I angrily pushed my hair away from my eyes then glared at Augustus who was slightly wet . He was on his knees with his nose flared and hands clenched to fists . I bared my teeth and leapt at him, getting out of the water .

I angrily pushed my hair away from my eyes then glared at Augustus who was slightly wet . He was on his knees with his nose flared and hands clenched to fists . I bared my teeth and leapt at him, getting out of the water .

He was taken aback by the attack and fell on his back on the bathroom's wet floor . His head hit the tiles with a satisfying 'thump' as his slightly wet hair spread on the tiles surrounding him .

I straddled him, pinned down his hands . Only then did I notice that he wasn't fighting back . I glared at him .

"What the h.e.l.l?!" I yelled and he smiled foolishly .

"How did it feel to actually drown?" He licked his lips and looked hard at me . "If you have the guts, punch me . " He said as his eyes fluttered at the water dripping from my hair on his face .

I screwed my face and raised my fist . I looked one last time at his smooth, unmarked, innocent face and then looked in his eyes . His eyes were sparkling under the bathroom's lights . They were sparkling with so much emotion .

"Do it!" He said angrily and I scowled as I raised my fist higher . "Don't be a b.l.o.o.d.y coward! Punch me! I almost drowned you," he teased, his eyes narrowing at me . "I f.u.c.king dare you . "

I looked at his face as my nose flared . "Wish granted . " My fist crashed in his face . He growled in pain, but I was surprised when he retaliated the punch . I held my jaw in rage .

I clutched his s.h.i.+rt's collar and raised him so that his now bruised face was closer to mine . "You can't possibly think you can change me, can you?" I hissed at him as he licked his lower lip in anger before he pushed me with so much force that I ended sprawled on the floor and him on top of me .

"f.u.c.k you, Julius . " He said, his voice strangled, before cras.h.i.+ng another fist in my face . The pain of his punch was numbed by the anger that set fire to my blood . "f.u.c.k you for hurting all of us and then running away from the damage! f.u.c.k you!" He shouted as I clenched my jaws . His neck was red and taut and his eyes wide and accusing .

I groaned angrily and pushed him off me . I immediately got up and clutched his hair in my hand . I heard him wince .

"Let go! What the h.e.l.l?!" Augustus was punching my legs as my lips twitched, suppressing a groan . He then gave up and tried to pull back his hair .

I pulled back his head and almost banged it with the sink when the thought of killing him bubbled in my anger's chaos .

If I hit his head . He dies . His death was just a 'bang' away .

I looked down at him . He had tears tumbling down his cheeks .

"AM I SCARING YOU ENOUGH LIKE I DID TO SAMANTHA?!" I yelled .

He looked up at me as a smile flickered across his features .

"THAT'S WHO I AM!" I thundered with madness pumping in my veins instead of blood . "I'll kill you, not thinking twice . Can't you see it?!"

"THEN DO IT!" He shouted . "f.u.c.king kill me!"

I took in a deep breath . "I WILL!"

"DO IT!" He sniffed, his face red and his eyes the purest shade of cobalt . "YOU DON'T SCARE ME!"

"I don-don't scare you?" I asked surprisedly .

"Not a bit," he said, frowning deeply . I looked down at him and narrowed my eyes . I pulled back his head as he squeezed shut his eyes causing more tears to come down .
"I don-don't scare you?" I asked surprisedly .

"Not a bit," he said, frowning deeply . I looked down at him and narrowed my eyes . I pulled back his head as he squeezed shut his eyes causing more tears to come down .

But I groaned and let go of him . I then backed away, breathing heavily as the adrenaline went to waste . I felt numb and scared . Was I really about to kill my own brother? I shook my head and stared at his panting figure . He was looking at the floor, his clothes now completely wet .

"That's what I thought . " He panted out before slowly raising his face to stare at me . "You can't . You changed . "

My eyes widened as my eyes teared up . "I almost killed you . I'm a murderer . " I said sadly . "That can't change, brother . "

He stumbled back up on his feet . Swayed a bit before holding onto the sink for support . "But you didn't . " He said wiping his nose with his s.h.i.+rt . "You didn't kill me . " He sounded too happy about this .

I exhaled loudly and rubbed my temples . "I almost did!" I yelled back at him and he flinched .

"That's not important," he said approaching me . "We all get tempted by different things . We all do! All that matters at the end is whether or not we let it control us! You fought it!"

I looked at him incredulously . "This is -no- just- I can't . "

"Can't what?" he said looking so hopeful .

"I can't control it," I said, looking helplessly at him .

"No," he said smiling despite his split lips . "You're just scared that you won't be able to control it . There's a big difference . "

I looked at him, smirked, shook my head sadly and headed to the tub . I got in despite the freezing water and held the empty bottle of Scotch .

"You know what?" I heard Augustus say from the doorway . "You need a distraction . "

I glanced at him . His hair was a wet mess with a bit of blood staining its ends . His eyes were bright, nose red, jaw a bit swollen and lips split .

I looked back in front of me . "I'm fine . "

I then heard him shuffle until he was right next to me on the floor . "Yeah, yeah . We're all fine . But you'd probably wanna hear this . "

I almost rolled my eyes but decided to give him a shot . I turned to him with a slight, sarcastic smile . He had a playful smile on .

"I might know who told Samantha about you killing her father . " At that my smile faltered and my heart sank .

***

A/N: Theories anyone? :))))))

Love you all ☆☆ You are so f.u.c.ked, was the first thing he uttered after a long period of silence . In response, I limply raised my hands out of the water, then dropped them again with two plops . How the h.e.l.l did she know?! Whom the f.u.c.k told her? He said suddenly angry . She had to know, I said faintly . I couldnt possibly hide behind that fake, caring person for any longer . You are caring- Augustus started and I snorted . Wrong . I blurted . I dont actually care about anyone except for whom Im possessive about . I tilted my head to glance at him . His eyebrows were raised . He was painfully serious . Possessive? He said as if the word was foreign to him . Unfortunately, I added with a sigh . It was all just so dramatic . I cant imagine losing them for anything . Because theyre mine . And Id die for them . So thats why Samanthas rejection messed you up . He said with a tone of understanding . Because when you own something, you never imagine losing it forever . And you lost her for your past . I lost her for who I am, I said as matter-of-factly . But this was different . I for once imagined it- I imagined losing her . And seeing it happen was a whole other level of disaster . You want to know why? I almost whispered the last part, as I let my right index finger randomly graze the surface of the water . I took his silence as an acceptance to carry on . Because even when I imagined it, I said with a sad sigh . I imagined that shed have hope in me . I imagined that shed forgive me . That shed tell me the past is in the past . But- I pointed out . -hatred and fear were all that was evident in her eyes . I glanced at Augustus again who had his lips pursed into a thin line . Youll get over her, right? was what he asked cautiously . I will, of course, I said simply with a smile . I can get over anyone, I added bitterly . Ive already accepted my fate . I actually just did, I chuckled lightly . I was meant to spend the next years of my life in solitude . And it isnt really as bad as it sounds . Ill be around, Augustus added with a weak smile . No . You wont, actually . I said s.h.i.+fting heavily in the tub and craning my neck to look at his pale countenance . I will disappear from your life just like I appeared . He shook his head and my smile widened . But that isnt possessive s.h.i.+t . He said, frowning and my smile faltered a bit . It is, I said . I mean, you saw what happened to everyone I cared about . My possessiveness was poisonous to them . So out of my love and possessiveness, Gustus, I let them go . Thats the right thing to do . Youre just being dramatic right now . You dont know what youre saying . Augustus said with a shrug and a hesitant, lopsided smile . You know that Im not being dramatic . You know that what Im saying is the truth . Augustus . I said catching his eyes . He looked away . I was the reason behind Audreys death . And Samanthas heartbreak . And your heart bre- I said referring to Sam . I still dont care about you less, Augustus said his eyes dancing around the place . Samantha leaving you doesnt make you bad . It just means that she isnt the right one t- At that, I actually chuckled . Im a murderer, Gustus . There isnt a right one for me . I killed . l.u.s.ted after blood . I was so very cruel . Ask your father about me . Bulls.h.i.+t, Julius . He said shaking his head . Youre pure from the inside . I frowned and then laughed . Thats not possible . Think about it, Augustus . Like think about it . I am dark, brother . I did the worst possible crime . I dont know purity . I am not like those guys in the books who find the love of their life and suddenly believe in hope and change . I cant lie though . I tried imitating them at times . I tried believing that I could actually be a better person . That Audreys cruel death flipped some magical switch in me . I didnt know- I smirked . I didnt know that this switch was stuck . That it can only be on . You know? I- I chuckled darkly . -felt angry when Father was telling me the truth about myself . I actually felt angry . I laughed hopelessly and shook my head . He was right . I was being a pathetic hypocrite . Dont say that, mate . Augustus tried and I smirked . Your care was real . Your emoti- Emotions, I said s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g my face irritably . b.l.o.o.d.y nuisance . Well, at least you got them . He pointed out . That doesnt deem you as a hopeless case, brother . Oh, Ill get rid of them soon enough . Ill return to what I was before I knew Audrey and witnessed her death . I said with a dismissive hand wave . So what? Augustus then started, his voice suddenly angry . Youll stop being human and be happy about it? Youll leave the girl who loves- Loved . I corrected with an easy smile . The girl who loves you, Augustus repeated persistently . Youll leave her after killing her father, stealing her heart and freeing your life? Id be b.l.o.o.d.y p.i.s.sed . I looked at him and raised my eyebrows . So what do you reckon? I said with a scowl . Should I go beg for her forgiveness? Beg her to forgive who I am? Beg her to love me? I clenched my jaws . Never . Youre being a pig about this whole s.h.i.+t . He said, frowning . I ignored him . She shouldve killed you . If I were her, Id do it . She actually tried to kill me, I said, grinning . I do not blame her . Augustus snapped . You dont blame her? I looked at him incredulously . I dont! he said exasperatedly . She doesnt even know you! She doesnt know the real Julius Caesar . She only knows that good guy who -bless him- held her hands when she was blind and introduced his brother . She knows that guy . She doesnt know your real story, dammit . She doesnt know why youre like this . She doesnt know about Dad . She doesnt know that thats how your childhood was spent . He leaned toward me and frowned . She doesnt know s.h.i.+t about you . Im not going to force myself on anyone . I do not need it . I said solidly . So instead of looking for whoever the h.e.l.l ruined you, youll sit here, sulk in a b.l.o.o.d.y tub with an empty bottle of Scotch, and be so b.l.o.o.d.y useless? He grimaced . Wow, I whispered loudly . How did you know that? I added with a lazy smile . Cant believe Im saying this- but youre being so ludicrously ridiculous! He said and I chuckled bemusedly . I then stopped, looked at him and clenched my jaws . Forget it . I snapped sharply . If youre going to wait here and expect her to return then youre so wrong . He said with disgust . Youll be disappointed and I swear to you that youll regret it . I dont expect her, I said gently . I do not expect her to return . And if she did- I said remembering her . Her slender fingers, dark soft hair, soft pink lips and deep blue eyes . I felt my heart beat fasten . I closed my eyes . If she ever returns, I shall make sure to turn her away y- Augustus lips twitched in annoyance . Sh.e.l.l never return . True, I said with a faint smile . I remembered her smile and remembered her nose crinkling when she laughed . Because if she expects that good guy, she better not return . That good guy whos basically you, but not you, Augustus said rolling his eyes . Some concept you have . You really dont see it, do you? I said shaking my head . Im a murderer . A murderer, Gustus . Thats a bad thing if you didnt know . You were forced to- See? Thats where you go wrong again . I said with a smirk . I chose to do thi- To please your father! He said angrily and I shook my head, saying nothing . Did you forget what you told me? Did you forget Audrey? Youve had your punishment . I dont think so . Not yet . I said, my throat sore . But you know what I think? I think Im starting to get bad again . You dont actually believe that you are who you were, Augustus said, shaking his head . You cant actually think that youre capable of killing again . Of doing what you used to do . I looked at him as a dark smile slowly crept on my face . Watch me . Augustus frowned . f.u.c.k you, Julius . If you really think that youre a b.l.o.o.d.y murderer, get the h.e.l.l out of the water and go kiss Dads a.s.s! Get the f.u.c.k out, grab a b.l.o.o.d.y knife and drive it in a beating heart! But youre too b.l.o.o.d.y weak for this . You act, he paused to take a breath . You act like youre so -oh- untouchable, so heartless, but its a big lie you weaved yourself in . I smirked and stared ahead of me, ignoring him . And its th-this lie, this lie that gave you the permission to kill . To try killing yourself . To leave Samantha . To ignore me . Its this lie that you were too stupid to believe . You believed that you are a heartless monster . He said breathlessly as my face screwed in anger . Shut up . I drawled, rolling my eyes . b.l.o.o.d.y coward, was his response . Look me in the eyes and say it again . I turned to him with a mocking scowl . Shut the fu- but I was cut by having my head pushed under the water . My heart beat fast in shock as I shook my head . My hair obscured my vision, but I felt Augustuss hands on my shoulders . I held his wrists and squeezed hard, but I was too weak from the hangover . Bubbles rose from my mouth as I tried s.h.i.+fting my whole weight . I was losing my oxygen quickly and used my hands to clutch my throat instead as I tilted back my head breathlessly . And that was when I started swallowing so much water . I was feeling like dying when the pressure on my shoulders was removed . I immediately broke the surface of the water and inhaled as I coughed out some water . I angrily pushed my hair away from my eyes then glared at Augustus who was slightly wet . He was on his knees with his nose flared and hands clenched to fists . I bared my teeth and leapt at him, getting out of the water . He was taken aback by the attack and fell on his back on the bathrooms wet floor . His head hit the tiles with a satisfying thump as his slightly wet hair spread on the tiles surrounding him . I straddled him, pinned down his hands . Only then did I notice that he wasnt fighting back . I glared at him . What the h.e.l.l?! I yelled and he smiled foolishly . How did it feel to actually drown? He licked his lips and looked hard at me . If you have the guts, punch me . He said as his eyes fluttered at the water dripping from my hair on his face . I screwed my face and raised my fist . I looked one last time at his smooth, unmarked, innocent face and then looked in his eyes . His eyes were sparkling under the bathrooms lights . They were sparkling with so much emotion . Do it! He said angrily and I scowled as I raised my fist higher . Dont be a b.l.o.o.d.y coward! Punch me! I almost drowned you, he teased, his eyes narrowing at me . I f.u.c.king dare you . I looked at his face as my nose flared . Wish granted . My fist crashed in his face . He growled in pain, but I was surprised when he retaliated the punch . I held my jaw in rage . I clutched his s.h.i.+rts collar and raised him so that his now bruised face was closer to mine . You cant possibly think you can change me, can you? I hissed at him as he licked his lower lip in anger before he pushed me with so much force that I ended sprawled on the floor and him on top of me . f.u.c.k you, Julius . He said, his voice strangled, before cras.h.i.+ng another fist in my face . The pain of his punch was numbed by the anger that set fire to my blood . f.u.c.k you for hurting all of us and then running away from the damage! f.u.c.k you! He shouted as I clenched my jaws . His neck was red and taut and his eyes wide and accusing . I groaned angrily and pushed him off me . I immediately got up and clutched his hair in my hand . I heard him wince . Let go! What the h.e.l.l?! Augustus was punching my legs as my lips twitched, suppressing a groan . He then gave up and tried to pull back his hair . I pulled back his head and almost banged it with the sink when the thought of killing him bubbled in my angers chaos . If I hit his head . He dies . His death was just a bang away . I looked down at him . He had tears tumbling down his cheeks . AM I SCARING YOU ENOUGH LIKE I DID TO SAMANTHA?! I yelled . He looked up at me as a smile flickered across his features . THATS WHO I AM! I thundered with madness pumping in my veins instead of blood . Ill kill you, not thinking twice . Cant you see it?! THEN DO IT! He shouted . f.u.c.king kill me! I took in a deep breath . I WILL! DO IT! He sniffed, his face red and his eyes the purest shade of cobalt . YOU DONT SCARE ME! I don-dont scare you? I asked surprisedly . Not a bit, he said, frowning deeply . I looked down at him and narrowed my eyes . I pulled back his head as he squeezed shut his eyes causing more tears to come down . But I groaned and let go of him . I then backed away, breathing heavily as the adrenaline went to waste . I felt numb and scared . Was I really about to kill my own brother? I shook my head and stared at his panting figure . He was looking at the floor, his clothes now completely wet . Thats what I thought . He panted out before slowly raising his face to stare at me . You cant . You changed . My eyes widened as my eyes teared up . I almost killed you . Im a murderer . I said sadly . That cant change, brother . He stumbled back up on his feet . Swayed a bit before holding onto the sink for support . But you didnt . He said wiping his nose with his s.h.i.+rt . You didnt kill me . He sounded too happy about this . I exhaled loudly and rubbed my temples . I almost did! I yelled back at him and he flinched . Thats not important, he said approaching me . We all get tempted by different things . We all do! All that matters at the end is whether or not we let it control us! You fought it! I looked at him incredulously . This is -no- just- I cant . Cant what? he said looking so hopeful . I cant control it, I said, looking helplessly at him . No, he said smiling despite his split lips . Youre just scared that you wont be able to control it . Theres a big difference . I looked at him, smirked, shook my head sadly and headed to the tub . I got in despite the freezing water and held the empty bottle of Scotch . You know what? I heard Augustus say from the doorway . You need a distraction . I glanced at him . His hair was a wet mess with a bit of blood staining its ends . His eyes were bright, nose red, jaw a bit swollen and lips split . I looked back in front of me . Im fine . I then heard him shuffle until he was right next to me on the floor . Yeah, yeah . Were all fine . But youd probably wanna hear this . I almost rolled my eyes but decided to give him a shot . I turned to him with a slight, sarcastic smile . He had a playful smile on . I might know who told Samantha about you killing her father . At that my smile faltered and my heart sank . *** A/N: Theories anyone? :)))))) Love you all ☆☆