The Three Taverns Part 6

Do you hear them? Do you hear the children?"

"d.a.m.n the children!"

"Why?

What have THEY done? . . . Well, then, -- do it. . . . Do it now, and have it over."

"Oh, you devil! . . . Oh, you. . . ."

"No, I'm not a devil, I'm a prophet -- One who sees the end already of so much that one end more Would have now the small importance of one other small illusion, Which in turn would have a welcome where the rest have gone before.

But if I were you, my fancy would look on a little farther For the glimpse of a release that may be somewhere still in sight.

Furthermore, you must remember those two hundred invitations For the dancing after dinner. We shall have to s.h.i.+ne tonight.

We shall dance, and be as happy as a pair of merry spectres, On the grave of all the lies that we shall never have to tell; We shall dance among the ruins of the tomb of our endurance, And I have not a doubt that we shall do it very well.

There! -- I'm glad you've put it back; for I don't like it.

Shut the drawer now.

No -- no -- don't cancel anything. I'll dance until I drop.

I can't walk yet, but I'm going to. . . . Go away somewhere, and leave me. . . .

Oh, you children! Oh, you children! . . . G.o.d, will they never stop!"

Tasker Norcross

"Whether all towns and all who live in them -- So long as they be somewhere in this world That we in our complacency call ours -- Are more or less the same, I leave to you.

I should say less. Whether or not, meanwhile, We've all two legs -- and as for that, we haven't -- There were three kinds of men where I was born: The good, the not so good, and Tasker Norcross.

Now there are two kinds."

"Meaning, as I divine, Your friend is dead," I ventured.

Ferguson, Who talked himself at last out of the world He censured, and is therefore silent now, Agreed indifferently: "My friends are dead -- Or most of them."

"Remember one that isn't,"

I said, protesting. "Honor him for his ears; Treasure him also for his understanding."

Ferguson sighed, and then talked on again: "You have an overgrown alacrity For saying nothing much and hearing less; And I've a thankless wonder, at the start, How much it is to you that I shall tell What I have now to say of Tasker Norcross, And how much to the air that is around you.

But given a patience that is not averse To the slow tragedies of haunted men -- Horrors, in fact, if you've a skilful eye To know them at their firesides, or out walking, --"

"Horrors," I said, "are my necessity; And I would have them, for their best effect, Always out walking."

Ferguson frowned at me: "The wisest of us are not those who laugh Before they know. Most of us never know -- Or the long toil of our mortality Would not be done. Most of us never know -- And there you have a reason to believe In G.o.d, if you may have no other. Norcross, Or so I gather of his infirmity, Was given to know more than he should have known, And only G.o.d knows why. See for yourself An old house full of ghosts of ancestors, Who did their best, or worst, and having done it, Died honorably; and each with a distinction That hardly would have been for him that had it, Had honor failed him wholly as a friend.

Honor that is a friend begets a friend.

Whether or not we love him, still we have him; And we must live somehow by what we have, Or then we die. If you say chemistry, Then you must have your molecules in motion, And in their right abundance. Failing either, You have not long to dance. Failing a friend, A genius, or a madness, or a faith Larger than desperation, you are here For as much longer than you like as may be.

Imagining now, by way of an example, Myself a more or less remembered phantom -- Again, I should say less -- how many times A day should I come back to you? No answer.

Forgive me when I seem a little careless, But we must have examples, or be lucid Without them; and I question your adherence To such an undramatic narrative As this of mine, without the personal hook."

"A time is given in Ecclesiastes For divers works," I told him. "Is there one For saying nothing in return for nothing?

If not, there should be." I could feel his eyes, And they were like two cold inquiring points Of a sharp metal. When I looked again, To see them s.h.i.+ne, the cold that I had felt Was gone to make way for a smouldering Of lonely fire that I, as I knew then, Could never quench with kindness or with lies.

I should have done whatever there was to do For Ferguson, yet I could not have mourned In honesty for once around the clock The loss of him, for my sake or for his, Try as I might; nor would his ghost approve, Had I the power and the unthinking will To make him tread again without an aim The road that was behind him -- and without The faith, or friend, or genius, or the madness That he contended was imperative.

After a silence that had been too long, "It may be quite as well we don't," he said; "As well, I mean, that we don't always say it.

You know best what I mean, and I suppose You might have said it better. What was that?

Incorrigible? Am I incorrigible?

Well, it's a word; and a word has its use, Or, like a man, it will soon have a grave.

It's a good word enough. Incorrigible, May be, for all I know, the word for Norcross.

See for yourself that house of his again That he called home: An old house, painted white, Square as a box, and chillier than a tomb To look at or to live in. There were trees -- Too many of them, if such a thing may be -- Before it and around it. Down in front There was a road, a railroad, and a river; Then there were hills behind it, and more trees.

The thing would fairly stare at you through trees, Like a pale inmate out of a barred window With a green shade half down; and I dare say People who pa.s.sed have said: 'There's where he lives.

We know him, but we do not seem to know That we remember any good of him, Or any evil that is interesting.

There you have all we know and all we care.'

They might have said it in all sorts of ways; And then, if they perceived a cat, they might Or might not have remembered what they said.

The cat might have a personality -- And maybe the same one the Lord left out Of Tasker Norcross, who, for lack of it, Saw the same sun go down year after year; All which at last was my discovery.

And only mine, so far as evidence Enlightens one more darkness. You have known All round you, all your days, men who are nothing -- Nothing, I mean, so far as time tells yet Of any other need it has of them Than to make s.e.xtons hardy -- but no less Are to themselves incalculably something, And therefore to be cherished. G.o.d, you see, Being sorry for them in their fas.h.i.+oning, Indemnified them with a quaint esteem Of self, and with illusions long as life.

You know them well, and you have smiled at them; And they, in their serenity, may have had Their time to smile at you. Blessed are they That see themselves for what they never were Or were to be, and are, for their defect, At ease with mirrors and the dim remarks That pa.s.s their tranquil ears."

"Come, come," said I; "There may be names in your compendium That we are not yet all on fire for shouting.

Skin most of us of our mediocrity, We should have nothing then that we could scratch.

The picture smarts. Cover it, if you please, And do so rather gently. Now for Norcross."

Ferguson closed his eyes in resignation, While a dead sigh came out of him. "Good G.o.d!"

He said, and said it only half aloud, As if he knew no longer now, nor cared, If one were there to listen: "Have I said nothing -- Nothing at all -- of Norcross? Do you mean To patronize him till his name becomes A toy made out of letters? If a name Is all you need, arrange an honest column Of all the people you have ever known That you have never liked. You'll have enough; And you'll have mine, moreover. No, not yet.

If I a.s.sume too many privileges, I pay, and I alone, for their a.s.sumption; By which, if I a.s.sume a darker knowledge Of Norcross than another, let the weight Of my injustice aggravate the load That is not on your shoulders. When I came To know this fellow Norcross in his house, I found him as I found him in the street -- No more, no less; indifferent, but no better.

'Worse' were not quite the word: he was not bad; He was not . . . well, he was not anything.

Has your invention ever entertained The picture of a dusty worm so dry That even the early bird would shake his head And fly on farther for another breakfast?"

"But why forget the fortune of the worm,"

I said, "if in the dryness you deplore Salvation centred and endured? Your Norcross May have been one for many to have envied."

"Salvation? Fortune? Would the worm say that?

He might; and therefore I dismiss the worm With all dry things but one. Figures away, Do you begin to see this man a little?

Do you begin to see him in the air, With all the vacant horrors of his outline For you to fill with more than it will hold?

If so, you needn't crown yourself at once With epic laurel if you seem to fill it.

Horrors, I say, for in the fires and forks Of a new h.e.l.l -- if one were not enough -- I doubt if a new horror would have held him With a malignant ingenuity More to be feared than his before he died.

You smile, as if in doubt. Well, smile again.

Now come into his house, along with me: The four square sombre things that you see first Around you are four walls that go as high As to the ceiling. Norcross knew them well, And he knew others like them. Fasten to that With all the claws of your intelligence; And hold the man before you in his house As if he were a white rat in a box, And one that knew himself to be no other.

I tell you twice that he knew all about it, That you may not forget the worst of all Our tragedies begin with what we know.

Could Norcross only not have known, I wonder How many would have blessed and envied him!

Could he have had the usual eye for spots On others, and for none upon himself, I smile to ponder on the carriages That might as well as not have clogged the town In honor of his end. For there was gold, You see, though all he needed was a little, And what he gave said nothing of who gave it.

He would have given it all if in return There might have been a more sufficient face To greet him when he shaved. Though you insist It is the dower, and always, of our degree Not to be cursed with such invidious insight, Remember that you stand, you and your fancy, Now in his house; and since we are together, See for yourself and tell me what you see.

Tell me the best you see. Make a slight noise Of recognition when you find a book That you would not as lief read upside down As otherwise, for example. If there you fail, Observe the walls and lead me to the place, Where you are led. If there you meet a picture That holds you near it for a longer time Than you are sorry, you may call it yours, And hang it in the dark of your remembrance, Where Norcross never sees. How can he see That has no eyes to see? And as for music, He paid with empty wonder for the pangs Of his infrequent forced endurance of it; And having had no pleasure, paid no more For needless immolation, or for the sight Of those who heard what he was never to hear.

To see them listening was itself enough To make him suffer; and to watch worn eyes, On other days, of strangers who forgot Their sorrows and their failures and themselves Before a few mysterious odds and ends Of marble carted from the Parthenon -- And all for seeing what he was never to see, Because it was alive and he was dead -- Here was a wonder that was more profound Than any that was in fiddles and bra.s.s horns.

"He knew, and in his knowledge there was death.

He knew there was a region all around him That lay outside man's havoc and affairs, And yet was not all hostile to their tumult, Where poets would have served and honored him, And saved him, had there been anything to save.

But there was nothing, and his tethered range Was only a small desert. Kings of song Are not for thrones in deserts. Towers of sound And flowers of sense are but a waste of heaven Where there is none to know them from the rocks And sand-gra.s.s of his own monotony That makes earth less than earth. He could see that, And he could see no more. The captured light That may have been or not, for all he cared, The song that is in sculpture was not his, But only, to his G.o.d-forgotten eyes, One more immortal nonsense in a world Where all was mortal, or had best be so, And so be done with. 'Art,' he would have said, 'Is not life, and must therefore be a lie;'

And with a few profundities like that He would have controverted and dismissed The benefit of the Greeks. He had heard of them, As he had heard of his aspiring soul -- Never to the perceptible advantage, In his esteem, of either. 'Faith,' he said, Or would have said if he had thought of it, 'Lives in the same house with Philosophy, Where the two feed on sc.r.a.ps and are forlorn As orphans after war. He could see stars, On a clear night, but he had not an eye To see beyond them. He could hear spoken words, But had no ear for silence when alone.

He could eat food of which he knew the savor, But had no palate for the Bread of Life, That human desperation, to his thinking, Made famous long ago, having no other.

Now do you see? Do you begin to see?"

I told him that I did begin to see; And I was nearer than I should have been To laughing at his malign inclusiveness, When I considered that, with all our speed, We are not laughing yet at funerals.