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"Now, my dear," he said to Joan after he had missed an easy cannon three times, and felt he required a little justification, "off you go to bed. Can't have you missing your beauty sleep so close to your marriage, or I'll have Baxter down on me like a ton of bricks."
Vane turned abruptly to the fire, and it is to be feared that his thoughts were not all they might have been. In fact, he registered a mental vow that if ever he was privileged to meet a murderer, he would shake him warmly by the hand.
"Good night, Captain Vane." Joan was standing beside him, holding out her hand. "I don't think you were playing very well to-night, were you?"
The next moment the door had closed behind her, and Vane turned slowly to answer some question of his host's. And as he turned he laughed softly under his breath. For Joan had not even looked at him as she said "Good night," and though the room was warm, almost to stuffiness, her hand had been as cold as ice.
Vane closed the door of his room, and went thoughtfully over to the fire. He was feeling more or less dazed, like a man who has been through a great strain, and finds for the moment some temporary respite.
He did not profess to account for it; he did not even try to. There had been other days that he had spent with Joan--days when he had been far more physically close to her than he had been that evening. Save for that one brief kiss in the billiard-room he had barely touched her.
And yet he felt more vividly alive to her presence than he had ever been before.
Vane was no psychologist, and any way the psychology of s.e.x follows no rules. It makes its own as it goes along. And the one thought which stood out from the jumbled chaos in his brain was a fierce pleasure at having beaten Baxter. The primitive Cave man was very much alive in him that night. . . .
Joan was _his_; he knew it, and she knew it--and there was no more to be said. And with a short, exultant laugh Vane drew up an easy chair to the fire and lit a cigarette. He heard Mr. Sutton pa.s.s along the pa.s.sage and go to his own room; and then gradually the house grew still. Outside the night was silent, and once he rose and went to the window. He stood there for a time staring out into the darkness, with his hands thrust deep in his pockets; then he returned to his chair again. He felt no wish to go to bed; he just wanted to sit and think of his girl.
Three days is a long time when one is at the beginning of it; and in all probability they would give him an extension. Three days with Joan--three whole complete days. . . .
They would go for a few long glorious tramps over the Downs, where the turf is springy to the foot, and the wind comes straight from the grey Atlantic, and the salt tang of it makes it good to be alive. And then one afternoon when they got home Joan would find a telegram awaiting her to say that coal had been discovered at Blandford, and did she think it would matter having the main shaft opening into the dining-room?
Something like that was bound to happen, and even if it didn't things would be no worse off than they were now. And in the meantime--three days. . . . For Vane had pa.s.sed beyond the thinking stage; he was incapable of arguing things out or calling a halt even if he wanted to.
It seemed to him that everything was so immeasurably little compared with the one great fact that Joan loved him.
He whistled softly under his breath, and started to unlace his shoes.
"We'll cheat 'em yet," he muttered, "some old how." And even as he spoke he stiffened suddenly and stared at the door. On it had come two low faltering knocks. . . .
For a moment he remained where he was, incapable of movement, while his cigarette, bent in two and torn, fell unheeded in the grate. Every drop of blood in his body seemed to stand still, and then to pound madly on again, as the certainty of who was outside came to him. Then with two great strides he crossed to the door, and opened it. . . .
"Joan," he whispered, "my dear. . . ."
She was in a silk dressing-gown, and he could see the lace of her nightdress through the opening at her neck. Without a word she pa.s.sed by him into the room, and crouched over the fire; while Vane, with his back to the door, stood, watching her with dilated eyes.
"Lock the door." He heard her words come faintly through the roaring in his ears, and mechanically he did as she asked.
Slowly, with short, hesitating steps he came towards the fire, and stood beside her, while his nails cut into the palms of his hands.
Then she rose and stood facing him.
"You've won," she said simply. "I've come to you." She swayed into his arms, and so for a long while did they stand, while the man twisted the great ma.s.ses of hair that hung over her shoulders round and round his fingers. He touched her forehead and her cheeks with hands that shook a little, and suddenly he kissed her fiercely on the lips--so that she gasped, and began to tremble. He could feel her body against him through the thin silk wrap, and he clasped her tighter in his arms as if to warm her.
"My darling," he whispered, "you're cold . . . so cold. . . . Take my dressing gown. . . ."
But the girl only clung to him the more, and the man, being just a man, felt his senses beginning to swim with the wonder of it.
And then of a sudden she pushed him away, and with her hands on the mantelpiece stared into the fire.
Vane's breath came quickly. She looked so utterly desirable with the red glow of the fire lighting up her face, and her hair falling about her. He stretched out his hand and put it on her arm, as if to make sure that it was not a dream, and with the touch of his fingers something seemed to snap. A great wave of colour flooded her face, spreading down to her neck, and she began to shake uncontrollably. He bent over her, whispering in her ear, and suddenly she put both her arms round his neck. And then like a little child who goes to its mother for comfort she laid her head on his shoulder, and the tears came.
He soothed her gently, stroking her hair with his hand, and gradually, as the minutes went by, the raging storm in his mind died down, and gave place to a wonderful peace. All that was best in his nature was called forth by the girl crying so gently in his arms, and with a little flickering smile on his lips he stared at the flames over her head.
The pa.s.sion had left him; a great sense of protection--man's divine heritage through the ages--had taken its place.
And so after a while he picked her up in his arms and laid her on his bed. He pulled the clothes around her, and taking her hand in his, sat down on a chair by her side.
All through the night he watched beside her, and as he listened to the hall clock striking the hours, gradually the realisation of what he must do came to him.
For he had not beaten Baxter; he had only beaten the girl. Baxter still stood where he was. Baxter still represented the way out for Joan. As a rival--man to man--he failed to count; he might just as well have been Jones or Smith. But as a weapon against the order of things Baxter remained where he was--the winner.
And even as he cursed that order of things, it struck him with a sort of amazed surprise that here he himself was actually up against one of Ramage's vested interests. . . . If Blandford had been nationalised, the problem would have been so easy. . . .
He moved irritably in his chair. What a muddle the whole thing was--what a muddle. And then with the touch of a woman he bent over the sleeping girl, and wiped away two tears that were glistening on her eyelashes. Poor little girl--poor little Joan. . . .
A sense of overwhelming pity and love for her drowned every other thought. Right or wrong, she was doing what she believed to be her job; and now he had come and made things a thousand times harder for her.
Very gently he withdrew his hand from hers and rose from his chair. He made up the fire again, and then started to pace slowly up and down the room. The drifting period was over; the matter had to be settled now.
He was no fool, and incidentally he knew as much about women as a man may know. He realised exactly why she had come to him that night; as clearly as if she had told him he understood the wild seething thoughts in her mind, the chaos, the sense of futility. And then the sudden irresistible longing to get things settled--to give up fighting--to take hold of happiness or what seemed to her to be happiness at the moment.
And supposing the mood had not broken--supposing the tears had not come. . . . He stopped in his slow walk, and stared at the sleeping girl thoughtfully. . . . What would have been the state of affairs by now?
"s.e.x--s.e.x--s.e.x. The most powerful thing in the world, and the most transitory." Her words before dinner, as they had stood in the hall came back to him, and he took a deep breath. That was the weapon he was using against her; he made no attempt to deceive himself on that score. After all--why not? It was the weapon that had been used since the beginning of things; it was the weapon which would continue to be used till the end. It was Nature's weapon . . . and yet. . . .
Once again he resumed his walk--six steps one way, turn, six steps back. He moved slowly, his chin sunk on his chest, and his hands twisting restlessly behind his back. Supposing she was right, supposing in a year, or in five, she should turn on him, and say: "Against my better judgment you overruled me. Even though I loved you, even though I still love you--you have made me buy my happiness at too great a price?"
Supposing she should say that--what then? Had he any right to make her run such a risk? Was it fair? Again and again he turned question and answer over in his brain. Of course it was fair--they loved one another; and love is the biggest thing in the universe. But was it only love in his case--was it not overmastering pa.s.sion as well?
Well--what if it was; there are cases where the two cannot be separated--and those cases are more precious than rubies. Against such it were laughable to put the fate of Blandford. . . . Quite--but whose point of view was that--his or hers?
Vane was essentially a fair man. The average Englishman is made that way--it being the peculiar nature of the brute. If anything--as a referee or a judge--he will give the decision against his own side, which is the reason why England has spread to the ends of the earth, and remained there at the express wish of the Little Peoples. Bias or favouritism are abhorrent to him; as far as in him lies the Englishman weighs the pros and the cons of the case and gives his decision without partiality or prejudice. He may blunder at times, but the blunder is honest and is recognised as such.
And so as Vane walked restlessly up and down his room, every instinct in him revolted at the idea of taking advantage of an emotional crisis such as he knew had been stirred in Joan that evening. It seemed to him to be unfair.
"It's her you've got to consider," he said to himself over and over again. "Only her. . . . It's she who stands to lose--much more than you."
He felt that he would go right away, clean out of her life--if, by doing so, it would help her. But would it? That was the crux. Was he justified in letting her make this sacrifice? As clearly as if he had seen it written in letters of fire upon the wall, he knew that the issue lay in his hands.
Once again he went to the window and looked out. In the east the first streaks of dawn were showing in the sky, and for a long while he stood staring at them, motionless. How often in France had he watched that same birth of a new day, and wondered what it held in store for him.
But over there a man is a fatalist--his part is allotted to him, and he can but tread the beaten path blindly. Whereas here, however much one is the sport of the G.o.ds that play, there comes a time when one must play oneself. Incidentally that is the part of the performance which amuses the G.o.ds. They plot their fantastic jig-saws; but one of the rules is that the pieces must move themselves. And of their kindness they let the pieces think they control the movement. . . .
Suddenly Vane turned round, and crossed to the girl. He picked her up in his arms, and having silently opened the door he carried her to her room.
Utterly exhausted and worn out, she barely woke up even when he placed her in her own cold bed. Her eyes opened drowsily once, and he bent over and kissed her gently.
"Little Joan," he whispered. "Dear little grey girl."
But she did not hear him. With a tired sigh she had drifted on to sleep again.