Destined. Part 18

She was to my door with her usual immediacy.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked with obvious concern. Faker.

"You know what I'd really like?" I asked. "Some honey cake. Seeing my mother's honey cake today made me crave it, but Chara almost ate it all."

"That's easy enough. The chef can prepare as many loaves as you like."

I sighed and made a pouty grimace. "But that won't be the same," I whined. "Mother always uses fresh honey that she gets herself from the hives. Could you go get me some fresh ... pleeeeeease?"

"Seriously?"

"It would mean so much to me. I'll be your best friend."

She sighed. "Ordinarily I'd tell you you're stuck with the honey we already have, but considering the day you've had..."

I made a show of clapping my hands excitedly. "Thank you, Alexa! You're the best. Take the chef with you to help. I don't want you getting stung."

In truth, I hoped she'd get stung by a million pointed bees' tails and her throat would swell closed. She was so much easier to hate than Aris. If it weren't for her, I might never have trusted him in the first place.

"Fine. Do you need anything before I leave?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes and waved her away with a floppy gesture. "It's not like I can't manage on my own."

The door started to close behind Alexa, but then pushed open again. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? Chara was really hard on you today. You're not acting like yourself."

"I'm fine," I said, a razor-sharp edge to my voice. "Can't I just crave honey cake after having the worst migraine in the history of the planet?"

"I'm sorry, Psyche. You just seem ... never mind. I was worried, is all."

I glared up in her direction from under narrowed eyelids. "You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Okay," she said, deflated. "We'll be back with the honey in a little bit. Maybe you should rest while we're gone." Alexa closed the door softly behind her.

"Maybe you should mind your own business," I grumbled, not even caring if she heard me or not.

I gave Alexa and the chef about ten minutes to clear the palace before I slunk down the hall toward the kitchen. This wasn't a room I'd been in yet, but at least I knew where it was. As I sized up the comparatively tiny room, with its jugs of wine, rows of spices and copper pots, I realized I had no idea where to look.

As quietly as I could, I pulled open drawers in the ma.s.sive cabinet, rifling the contents in search of a weapon. It didn't take long to locate a gleamingly-sharp blade with a st.u.r.dy wooden handle. I wrapped my fingers slowly around the grip and held the knife up to get a feel for it in my hand. Could I really do this? Could I really murder someone?

What choice did I have?

After wrapping the knife in a linen kitchen towel, I slipped it under my belt, just over my hip. If I let my arm drop to my side, I could conceal my contraband well enough.

Leaving the kitchen, I turned left and crossed through the dining room before winding down another long hall to the library. On the desk, right where I expected it to be, was the lantern I needed.

As I rushed past the stools on my way to the desk, I tripped on an unseen foot. In my haste, I hadn't noticed the floating scroll. It would've been an obvious clue that someone was reading there. My feet went out from under me as I fell forward. I knocked my head on the corner of the desk, whipping my head back. My neck crackled painfully from the jolt.

"Psyche, are you all right?" Mathias asked as he tossed his scroll aside and collected me off the marble floor.

I threw a protective hand over my injured right eye. A lump the size of a breaching whale felt like it was already pus.h.i.+ng its way to the surface. I hadn't planned on crying again that day, but the pain was overwhelming. I couldn't help myself.

"I'll get you to your room," Mathias promised. "Alexa! Alexa, bring some ice for Psyche," he called.

"Unnn..." I groaned. "Stop shouting." His voice made my head throb. Again. "She's not here. She's getting me honey. I'll be fine, just let me lay down."

As Mathias laid me gingerly across the bed, he said, "This is twice in one day, Miss Psyche. You ought to take it easier on yourself."

I turned my back to Mathias as I rolled onto my side, curling into a ball. "Thank you, Mathias. That will be all."

"Of course," he said. I could hear him backing out of the room.

"Oh, Mathias, wait," I called, looking back over my shoulder in his direction. "I was trying to get the lantern out of the library when I fell. Can you bring it to me?"

"Yes, ma'am. Do you mind my asking why you need it in here -"

"Yes," I cut him off. "I do."

It wasn't like me to be so abrupt, so rude. I hoped I wasn't giving away too much of my plan. But I couldn't help myself. As far as I was concerned, everyone in the house was in on the plan to fatten me for a human barbeque.

Mathias returned and placed the lantern on my vanity. "Will here do?"

"That's fine." I flipped my hand at the lamp before recovering my swollen eye. "Now please, my head is killing me. Make sure no one comes down here and bothers me."

"Yes ma'am," Mathias said, but without his usually paternal tone. My door banged shut with more force than a happy person would've used to close it.

As the pounding sounds in my head began to quiet, I was able to think well enough to realize that hitting my head had actually been a good thing. There was no better excuse for pus.h.i.+ng Aris away than having a headache. It'd worked last night, after all.

I pa.s.sed fitfully in and out of sleep. When I finally awoke, the last rays of the day were being sucked down into the earth, pulling a blanket of orange and pink in their wake. With a start, I realized I hadn't stashed my knife and lantern yet and popped out of bed. The sudden blood drain from my head made me so dizzy that I thought I was getting another migraine, but I managed to steady myself on the headboard until the stars disappeared from my vision.

Grabbing the lantern off the vanity, I untucked the knife from my belted waist. As I stashed the items under the bed, I hoped he had no reason to glance there tonight.

I didn't go to dinner since I didn't have the stomach for food. Besides, I figured there was a better than average chance that anything I ate would come back up again. So after stas.h.i.+ng my contraband, I sulked in my bed and waited, willing the minutes to pa.s.s more slowly so I could put off the deed.

When darkness finally enveloped the palace, Aris appeared in his shrouded form, like always. But that night, his cloak had returned to feeling ominous rather than invitingly mysterious.

I winced when he wrapped me in his arms and my reaction obviously caught him off-guard. As quickly as he had embraced me, he released me and studied me with those piercing blue eyes of his.

"What's wrong, Love?" he asked. "Has your sister -"

"No." I cut him off. My sister was the last subject I wanted to discuss with him. I tilted my head and showed off the swollen lump above my right eye. "I fell is all. It just really hurts."

Without saying a word, he leaned forward and kissed my tender b.u.mp. Warmth coursed through the wound and the sensation made me lightheaded and less painful.

I searched his eyes for some trace of evil. Something to keep me committed to my plan when he otherwise seemed so innocent and loving. Despite my best efforts to hold it back, a single tear p.r.i.c.ked its way over the threshold of my eye and spilled down my cheek. He gently kissed that away too.

"Is something else bothering you?"

I hesitated for a second longer than I should've before weakly answering, "No."

He tilted up my chin with the soft tips of his fingers and held my gaze. "I'll kill her if she caused you any pain."

"Stop it!" I screamed, batting his hand away from my face. "Do not talk about my family like that! How could you even say such a thing?"

I turned my back on him and hid my face in my pillow, sobbing again.

"Psyche, I'm sorry." He stroked my back. Every touch felt like a pinp.r.i.c.k that I had to fight to keep from wincing over. "I wasn't thinking."

I twitched my shoulder in a gesture that I hoped said stop touching me, and told him - again - that my head really hurt and I just wanted to go to sleep.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

"No," I answered, maybe too quickly, while snapping my head up to look at him. If he left, I wouldn't be able to kill him. "No, please stay. I feel better when you're here."

The lie had been easier to speak than I would've expected. And he seemed to believe me.

"Anything," he answered, giving my hair a final brush with his hand. "I'll always be here if you need me."

All I could think was: not if I can help it.

I was glad I'd napped all afternoon. Otherwise, out-waiting him to fall asleep would've been impossible. It seemed to take hours before his breathing settled into the rhythmic in and out that signaled he'd finally dozed off. I'd been faking the sounds of sleep myself for so long that I was in a nearly dream-like trance when it happened. My steady breathing had helped to calm and relax me though, so when I did hear him give a little newly-asleep snort, I was mentally ready to carry out my plan.

At first I was only brave enough to slip my left leg out from under the covers. I watched his cloudy form to make sure it didn't move or that his eyes didn't suddenly open. Then I let my toes touch the marble floor and slid myself to the edge of the bed.

When he snorted and s.h.i.+fted in bed, I froze contorted, half-in and half-out of the bed. Real stealth. How was I supposed to explain why I was laying wrapped over the edge of the mattress if he woke up? I held my breath and waited until his breathing returned to its steady pace.

Slowly, I slipped completely off the bed and crouched on the floor. Feeling around for the dagger and lantern, I silently wished I hadn't tucked them quite so far under the bed when I'd hidden them earlier. Sitting on the cool floor, I went over my plan for the millionth time in my head. Turn on the lantern, see the monster; drive my knife into his heart, kill the monster. It was that quick and easy. It'd be over before I knew it. I'll be safe again. I repeated that last thought like a mantra as I slowly rose from the floor.

I'll be safe again. I'll be safe again.

Holding the lantern in my left hand and the dagger in my right, I crept around the bed until I stood directly over the sleeping black ma.s.s of monster. I closed my eyes one final time and then lit the lantern.

Chapter 36 - Psyche.

The gentle light of the lantern cast its warm glow over Aris. As I blinked through the sudden brightness, I saw the light slowly piercing through his shroud. I braced myself for the most horrid form I could imagine. Flaky green scales, black oily wings, or razor-sharp claws. I figured that if he could create the palace and all that was in it, he could easily make me feel delicate skin and curly, boyish hair.

So when the shroud began to fall away, revealing flesh rather than scales, I sucked in a surprised gasp. The light pierced his shroud more and more, revealing all the features I'd felt under my fingertips as we'd flown together, eaten together ... kissed together.

His soft, delicate fingers rested easily across the chiseled muscles of his chest. Tucked behind his back were wings so white they seemed to glimmer. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and touched the tip of a satiny, white feather.

And suddenly, I knew.

Blood surged up my neck, pulsing and throbbing, threatening to pop a vessel if I couldn't get my temper under control. How dare he be the one!

I followed the light up his body as it cut through the darkness and revealed his face. Sure enough, it was the face I had no business not remembering, even if I couldn't see it with my eyes.

With his head turned to the side in sleep, I could see his perfectly-defined jaw line, his soft bow-shaped lips, his cla.s.sically straight nose, and his long, dark eyelashes. Thick curls the color of dark amber fell carelessly around his smooth face.

My mind spun. How had this happened? Eros had hated me. I'd hated him.

Had he tricked me into these feelings, only to leave me a crumpled mess later? That had to be the plan. Aphrodite's. His. I didn't care. Attacking my heart felt like a worse betrayal than when I'd thought he was going to kill me soon.

And then an even more mind-boggling thought slipped into place. I almost killed Eros. Correction - tried to kill Eros. You don't kill G.o.ds. But still!

When I realized what I'd almost done, I instinctively jerked back and the knife slipped from my grasp. It fell to the marble floor with a piercing series of clangs as it bounced several times before finally stopping. I stooped too quickly to pick up the knife - as if picking it up could somehow take back the sound - not bothering to think about the lantern I held in my other trembling hand.

As I leaned down, the light went out and blistering oil from the lantern sloshed over the sides. Our screams rang out through the night at the same time. I dropped the lantern and knife and howled from the painful burns on my fingers. Aris - no, Eros, wailed too with the unmistakable sounds of pain.

I'd burned him.

In a flash of brilliant light, Eros illuminated himself. He hovered, wings flapping furiously, just over the bed.

"Is this what you wanted to see?" His voice thundered down at me.

"Actually, no," I snapped. "I can't believe you did this to me."

"Did this to you?" he yelled. His inner light surged brighter. "What exactly did I do except fall asleep?"

I folded my arms defensively across my chest. "You lied to me. You've been lying to me. Making me like you. Tricking me into kissing you." My stomach clenched at the thought. "I actually thought you ... never mind."

"I can't believe you're so blind," he growled. "The only thing I lied to you about was my name."

I reached up to touch his arm, to pull him down to me so we could talk this through on equal footing, but he hovered just out of reach.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I thought you were going to kill me. I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't know," he boomed, suddenly seeming angrier than ever. "That's been our deal from the start."

"Not our deal. Your deal," I shot back and climbed up onto the bed. If he wouldn't come down, I was going up. "All I've wanted since I got here was to see you. We wouldn't be having this problem right now if you hadn't been hiding."

"No, that's right," he said, tr.i.m.m.i.n.g in his wings and dropping down to look me right in the eyes, "we wouldn't, because we'd be dead. My mother would've taken us both out by now for defying her."

Covering my eyes with my hand, I sighed. "So what do we do now?"

"We? There is no we. I've got to get out of here before -"

When I uncovered my face to see what'd made him stop mid-sentence, I realized his eyes were locked on something on the floor.

The knife.

His eyes were wide and round. In them I read horror. Fury. Grief.

His nostrils flared as he cut his penetrating glare back to me. He clenched his teeth so hard that I could see the veins stand out on his jaw. "What. Were. You. Doing?" He punctuated each word with anger.