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I stood frozen in the doorway to the palace. Mother and Father were behind me, pulling me back with their concern. But Xanthippe stood before me, pulling me forward with the allure of regaining Eros's love. I was on a precipice, torn between the safety I knew and the love I had lost. It was like being sent off to the cliffs again, feeling I might never see my mother and father and home again. But this time I knew the end destination and who would be waiting for me - if luck was with me.
"Are you sure you won't let us send a guard with you?" Father asked from behind me. "The roads aren't safe for a woman alone."
I turned to look at him. His eyes were moist, welled with concern. Taking his hand in mine, I said, "I'm sure, Father. I've made my offerings to Hermes. If he can't protect me, there's nothing a guard could do."
Mother and Father exchanged pained looks, but they didn't force the issue.
"Just remember, Psyche," Mother added. "You're a powerful young woman. The G.o.ds will watch over you."
I gulped. What kind of crazy send off was that? "Well, I guess this is goodbye then," I said. "Again."
After kissing each of my parents on the cheek, I secured the lantern from my former palace to one of the packs and checked to be sure my dagger was securely tucked at my hip. A guard helped hoist me onto Xanthy's back and with a gentle kick, my mare headed away from the palace. I wouldn't look back; couldn't look back. If I was ever going to redeem myself, this was the only way.
There was really only one direction to go: toward Mount Olympus.
I stopped holding Xanthy back once I was sure no one could see us any more and we settled into a comfortable canter down the dusty, broken roads. I let Xanthy continue until she decided on her own to slow her pace. Her sweat-soaked sides heaved beneath my legs. When we came to a stream, we stopped and drank. After refilling my flasks with fresh water, I sat on a rock and watched Xanthy nibble at some weeds, uprooting the little flowers and leaves and devouring them in greedy bites.
Watching her, I was suddenly overcome with grat.i.tude for the beautiful mare. Olympus was so far away; I would never make it without her. Not in this lifetime anyway. And she was oblivious to the danger I was dragging her into with me. If I failed in this journey, she would likely die with me.
Slowly I padded to the horse and wrapped my arms around her neck. "We should ride a little more. I think we can reach Corinth before sun down." I patted her mane and she nodded her head in what seemed like approval. I led her over the rock I'd been sitting on so I'd have an easier time mounting, but I was still glad no one was watching me as I fumbled onto her back.
Once there, my legs immediately protested. They already ached from our earlier ride and I realized I'd been foolish to try to cover so much ground in one day. Thanks to the crowds, it'd been forever since I'd ridden. My muscles were painfully sore and the insides of my legs were chaffed from rubbing against Xanthy's coa.r.s.e hair.
"On second thought," I said, "maybe we better call it quits for today."
Looking around the deserted stretch of road, I wasn't sure the best place for us to camp. Would it be better to leave ourselves exposed to the animals of the woods or to human strangers who might come across us by the road? In the end, I figured Xanthy would be more likely to sense danger and wake us from an animal, so I led her from the road into the cover of dense pines.
After brus.h.i.+ng Xanthy down and making sure she had plenty to drink, I ate some of the food my parents packed and then gathered pine needles to make a bed, rough and pointy as it was. Although the sun was only beginning to set, I was ready to sleep. The ride had taken its toll and I easily drifted off, knowing Xanthippe would stand guard.
Some time later, and I had no way to gauge how much later since the sky was midnight black, I woke to the sound of Xanthy huffing and pacing uneasily near the tree where I had tied her.
My fog of sleep immediately parted as fear took over.
I lay quietly for a moment, holding my breath, listening for sounds of an intruder. And then I heard what Xanthy's sensitive ears had picked up long before mine: footsteps shuffling through pine needles. The steps were coming closer.
I clambered to my feet and pulled out my knife as I protectively rushed to Xanthy's side. Whatever was coming, I wouldn't let it hurt my horse.
Perhaps because we were in the woods, it never occurred to me that the footfalls might belong to something other than an animal. Until I heard the voice call to me.
"There you are. I was starting to think I'd never find you."
Chapter 41 - Psyche.
"Alexa!" I called, and ran headlong through the woods until I crashed into my invisible friend.
"I thought we were past this whole running into me thing," she teased as she hugged me.
"You came back." I was giddy as I held her in the darkness, unable to let go for fear she'd evaporate.
"I can't stay long," she cautioned. "I'm not even supposed to be here, but I snuck away."
My arms dropped away from her. "So he hasn't forgiven me yet?"
Alexa didn't answer, but she didn't need to. I already knew the answer.
"Did you tell him that I saw you? That's why I believed my sister over him?"
"Not yet, but I will," she said. "He refuses to see anyone right now. Heck, I'm under lock and key living with my parents again," she explained, as we walked through the woods toward my makes.h.i.+ft camp.
"Why'd you have to sneak away from your parents' house? Eros isn't there too is he?"
Alexa snorted. "No, he's back on Mount Olympus. But seeing as how this is partially my fault for letting you hear your sister in the first place, I'm sort of grounded."
"What?" I asked. "What do you mean you're grounded?"
I heard Alexa kick at some leaves. "Eros could've gotten me in real trouble with the Olympian counsel for disobeying his order not to ever let you hear you sister's cries. He said he'd keep quiet about the whole thing if my parents promised not to let me come help you. So, like I said, I can't stay long."
As we reached my little camp, Alexa said, "I'm glad to see you have a horse. It'll throw Aphrodite off for a while. She won't expect you to be riding, and she's not a very good tracker."
My eyes grew wide and darted around the woods in panicked bursts. "She's coming for me?" I stammered. "She knows? But how?"
"She made him tell." Alexa paused before adding softly, "he didn't want to."
"But if she - I'll never make it."
"Shhh..." Alexa hushed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Don't give up. You can make it. I know you can."
"How?" I sniffed.
"You'll reach Corinth tomorrow morning. Just before you reach the gates, there's a shrine to Vesta. She won't want to pick sides in a fight, especially against Aphrodite, but if you can convince her that she's just keeping the peace until you find Eros, she might protect you as you travel."
"I don't really have anything to offer her."
"You can promise to give her something if you make it. It'll give her some added incentive to protect you." Alexa said.
"Alexa, what am I going to do without you? You can't leave me again. Please."
"Psyche, I told you. I can't stay. But you'll do fine. I'm sure of it." She was already pulling her warm hand away from mine.
"Wait!" I called. "Before you go ... does he ... I mean ... do you think that he...misses me?"
"He must," she answered. I could hear her footsteps moving away in the darkness.
"Will it be enough? To forgive me, I mean?" I tried to keep the panic from registering in my voice.
"Get some rest, Psyche. You have a long journey ahead of you still."
And just like that, the sound of Alexa's retreating footsteps was gone. The forest was so silent, I wondered whether Alexa had really come at all or if it'd been another dream.
Settling back down into my pine straw bed, I strained to pick up any noise that might hint Alexa was coming back. Or that Aphrodite was bearing down on me. But the only sounds filtering through the night air were the chirping of crickets and Xanthy's rhythmic breathing as she dozed.
When I awoke in the morning, the sun was only just beginning to rise. I quickly ate some crackers before leading Xanthippe back out to the rock and mounting. We hadn't ridden for more than an hour when I realized we were approaching Corinth. Little farm houses and grazing cattle showed we were nearing civilization.
Deciding to make sure I pa.s.sed the town unrecognized, I pulled a shroud out from one of my bags and wrapped it around my head. I carefully tucked my curls into the folds of the fabric and pulled the sides out as far as possible to s.h.i.+eld my face.
I was almost to the city gates when, just as Alexa had promised, I spotted a small shrine. Around the marble inscription to Vesta lay clay pots, lamps, tiny sculpted animals and busts in the G.o.ddess's likeness. Tokens laid out by the farmers and pious visitors who came seeking favors. They reminded me again that I had so little to offer.
Just as I was about to dismount from Xanthy to make my prayer, I realized there was nothing, aside from the shrine itself, to use to get back up on my horse. I couldn't see praying to a G.o.ddess only to defile her shrine, so I decided to stay on horseback and hope Vesta wasn't offended.
Xanthy brought me right up to it and I stared at the relief image of the G.o.ddess. She looked so motherly. It was hard to imagine she was one of the virgin G.o.ddesses rather than a matron. Her shoulder-length, curly hair framed the broad face that sat atop her full shoulders and thick torso. Her head was draped in a cloak much like the one I was wearing to conceal myself, only the effect on her was to make her face more severe.
I'd never had much of a connection to Vesta in the past. Her domain was the home and hearth, things I hadn't had much concern for. Others had always cared for my palaces and kept the hearths going for me. I wondered whether I deserved her help now, before realizing that whether I deserved it or not, I had no choice but to ask for it.
"Vesta, eldest sister of Zeus, great mistress of the home and protector of the sacred hearth fire that keeps us warm, hear my prayer. I'm searching for Eros because I made a huge mistake. And I love him," I mumbled, swallowing back the guilt. "I regret that I have nothing to offer you in exchange for hearing this prayer, but am a lowly traveler in desperate need of your help. Your fellow G.o.ddess, Aphrodite, doesn't want me to find her son. I pray that you watch over me as I travel so that I have a chance to beg Eros's forgiveness. If you will help me, I promise to dedicate a shrine within my home to you and give thanks at it daily."
And there it was.
No flash of lightning or puff of smoke followed. Just the silence that hung in the air after I finished making the longest prayer of my life. Would Vesta give me a sign that she'd heard me or would help me? I waited a few minutes by the shrine for some indication the G.o.ddess was listening, but nothing happened. No birds flew overhead. None of the offerings on the shrine suddenly fell over. Even the wind was stagnant and unmoving.
There was nothing else to do except keep moving. I nudged Xanthy to move faster as we neared the gates of Corinth. I was still worried someone would recognize me, but the only person we pa.s.sed was a shepherd moving his small flock of sheep to another pasture.
As we crossed the Isthmus of Corinth, the narrow stretch of land that separates the Peloponnese from the mainland of Greece, I exhaled a relieved sigh. We were still so far away, but being on the mainland made me feel closer to Eros.
From high atop the jagged, craggy cliffs, I looked down at the azure waters of the Aegean Sea. The waves pounded mercilessly at the base of the rocks, shooting cras.h.i.+ng white waves up the stones like fingers grasping for something just beyond their reach.
I recoiled as I watched, moving Xanthy further away from the edge of the cliff. The sea was Aphrodite's domain; where she was born, where she played. I had the paranoid fear that the waves might actually try to reach up and tear me from my horse. Without spending time to rationalize away my fears, I urged Xanthy into a gallop so that we could quickly pa.s.s the ocean's edge.
We traveled on at trot for the rest of the day and as we neared the city of Megara, a cloud of dust rose up from the road in front of us. The shapes of four riders emerged from the haze, galloping wildly and barreling down on us.
Something about this band of riders made me uneasy. Maybe because they were moving so fast, maybe because there were four of them and only one me, maybe because these were the first people I'd encountered on the barren roads other than the shepherd, but something made my heart race as the riders approached.
I maneuvered Xanthy into the dry, crunchy gra.s.s beside the road to clear a path. The first three riders went tearing by so quickly that their following breeze pushed my shroud back from my face and my curls spilled down my shoulders. The fourth rider, catching sight of my face and hair, drew in his horse and called to his companions.
"Hold up!" he yelled, turning his horse back around and quickly closing the distance between us.
I fingered the handle of the knife that was still tucked away at my side and willed myself not to look back as the man rode up behind me.
"What's a pretty, little thing like you doing out here all alone?" he asked as he cut off my path with his own horse. The other three riders trotted up to his side, encircling us and backing Xanthy further into the brittle gra.s.ses. If their s.h.i.+elds and cloaks were any indication, the men were Spartan soldiers, minus a commander.
My eyes flicked nervously from face to face. Their young eyes sparkled with menace and their lips curled up in snarling smiles. One of the men had an angry scar running from his ear, across his cheek, and down to his upper lip. Another had his left arm bound in a sling. They looked battle fresh and ready for another fight.
"You're Spartan warriors," I stated, using my most commanding voice. "Your men were friends to my great grandfather, King Alcander of Sikyon, in the Trojan War." I hoped my history knowledge would win some favor with the men. And also that they would have been too preoccupied with war training to have heard of me.
The man with the scar swung off his horse and grabbed a fist-full of Xanthy's mane. She snorted and tried to back away, but the man held her firmly as he bored his eyes into mine.
"You're a daughter of Sikyon?" he asked.
I nodded.
Before I could blink, the man grabbed my forearm and wrested me down from Xanthy's back while shouting. "Don't lie to me."
I landed on my knees in the gra.s.s, with my arm still held painfully above my head. The other men laughed raucously from their horses.
"Princesses don't travel unguarded," he accused. I had to agree with his logic. Royal women didn't travel alone. Still, I scrambled for something to say that would make him believe me. And loosen his hold on my arm.
"Please, ask me anything," I begged. "Ask me about my parents, the City, anything."
He jerked my arm, making me wince. "What do I care about Sikyon? You could tell me more lies and I wouldn't know the difference."
"Please," I squealed. "There's got to be something."
The man yanked me to my feet and spun me around to him, leaning in so close that I could smell the stink of his breath. "What's your name?" he hissed.
Anything but that.
I didn't answer and he shook me, making my head jerk even though I was bracing myself against him. "Your name," he repeated, louder, harsher.
I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath while glaring at my captor. "Psyche," I finally answered between gritted teeth.
The men erupted in laughter. The one with his arm in the sling used his good hand to steady himself on another man's shoulder. The one with the scar, who was holding me, laughed in barks. He turned back toward his fellow soldiers. "You hear that, men? This girl thinks she's Psyche!"
More laughter followed. I felt a warm flush of shock and insult rise in my cheeks. Maybe I wasn't dressed in my finest clothes. Maybe I was traveling alone and unguarded. Maybe all of Greece thought I'd died last week. And maybe I didn't have my hair done and makeup on, but I was Psyche. Two weeks ago these men would've said I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and now they laughed at the idea.
In a burst of bravado, I tried to wrest my arm free, but he held on tight. My resistance actually brought him out of his fit of laughter. His eyes bored into mine, both threatening and mocking.
"Fine, if that's how you want it, Psyche it is."
I opened my mouth to protest that I was Psyche, but snapped it shut again. What could I say that would do me any good?
"Men," he announced to his three companions, "today we will have the good fortune of being entertained by Princess Psyche herself."
My eyes widened and I quickly searched their faces. My heart thundered in my chest as wicked antic.i.p.ation registered in all their eyes.
My attention was jerked back to the soldier holding me when he began dragging me further away from the side of the road, where the gra.s.ses grew taller and thicker. The burrs scratched at my ankles as I tried to walk against the direction I was being pulled. His fingers dug into the skin of my upper arm.
I would've screamed, but only the other men would hear me. I was afraid it would just encourage them.
The other men were hanging back at the side of the road. Probably giving their leader a little privacy. I decided to stop resisting and allowed myself to be led another few meters into the gra.s.s, which was now waist deep. When he was satisfied with our location, the soldier yanked and twisted my arm in one quick movement that sent me sprawling to the ground. I quickly rolled over and started crawling backward.
The soldier undid his sheath, tossing his sword to the side. He was smiling down at me. The smile of a man with complete domination.
"You're no Psyche, but you're not bad," he hissed as he advance on me. He pulled his tunic over his head and kept walking. "I'm going to enjoy this."