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rapidly. "You were still quite young.""Oh, Aldorsk," Jared whispered with a melancholy sigh, "I never thought to hear you speak lies to me.Not you. Not ever."
For long seconds they simply regarded each other in silence; Aldorsk knew now that Jared haddiscovered the truth, but he clearly wasn't sure just how much of the facts Jared had ferreted out."You erased my memories of Kelsey Wells-did you not?"Aldorsk dropped his head, but made no answer."Did you not, Councilor?" Jared allowed his fury to gain life. "Answer me!"
"Yes, my king," came Aldorsk's hoa.r.s.e, quiet reply, his eyes still downcast."I could expel you from this council for treason." The elders had violated him-and Kelsey-by this act,which was all the more shameful because Jared had never allowed his heart to guide him in life, hadfaithfully served the Refarian people. Except in this one thing: his love for Kelsey. It was the man beforehim-the man he'd trusted more than any other-who had taken that love from him.
"I had to protect you. It was my role to watch over you.""You were not my protector-you were my councilor."
Aldorsk dared to lift his head, and Jared glimpsed something in his eyes, but only for a moment, before he quietly said, "Sabrina was gone and you had no other protector- it had to be me."
"So this was not the council's doing?" Jared asked.
"I acted alone."
Jared sat up in his chair. "I loved Kelsey. If you wanted to protect me, then you should not have stolen her from me! All these years, all this time..." Jared sputtered for a moment, dropping his head into his hands. A terrible wave of grief crashed over him, and for a brief moment he recalled sitting with her long ago by the lake, when they'd been on the brink of his awakening.
"You have found her?" Aldorsk asked, his voice solemn.
Jared dropped his hands away from his face. "Yes, I have found her. I might never have done so, if it
were up to you. How could you think that was protection? What sort of protection steals love? Takes my heart, where it's beating in my chest, and yanks it out of me... ?"
"You were young, so very young. Your awakening was a delicate time, what with the need for an heir-"
Jared slammed his fist down onto the armrest of the data portal. "A need that remains unmet to this very
day!"
"Looking back, I have come to consider that my decision was not in your long-term best interests. I have had cause to reflect upon that."
"State your meaning." Jared ground his back teeth together, the swell of anger almost more than he could
bear.
"I believe you never married Thea because your heart recognized that another waited for you. Even if you did not remember, you knew it intuitively."
"Marrying Thea has never felt right," he said softly.
Aldorsk nodded gravely. "The memory tie between the both of you was more powerful than even I
realized. I apologize, my king, and beg your forgiveness. I was wrong-but I did it because I cared for you."
"You cared only for the succession!"
"No," Aldorsk answered quietly, "I cared for you. I have no sons, as you well know, and have always regarded you as such."
Jared slumped back in the chair, suddenly exhausted by the volatile discussion. "Then you will champion our marriage before the council," he said with a sigh. "It is the least that can be done."
Aldorsk shook his head, confused. "You plan to-"
"We are lifemated. Already. I need someone to speak for us in chambers today, to support our union."
"There will be extreme opposition."
Jared speared him with a glance. "And fervent support from my chief councilor."
"You can expect nothing less from me."
"Good," Jared said, still angry, but finding somehow that the fuel behind his fury had dissipated already. After all, nothing could bring back those lost years with Kelsey, and nothing-except perhaps time- could heal those missing memories.
Right now, he had but one remaining concern: to rally the elders to his side so they would sanction his union with Kelsey.
Jared paced nervously outside the meeting chamber, attempting to put on a brave face for Kelsey while they waited for the elders to call him back to chambers. She was obviously trying to do the same for him, yet every time she tried to smile at him, her mouth instead pulled into a tight line of worry.
"Stop it," he urged under his breath, reaching for her hand and giving it a light squeeze.
"What's taking so long?" She glanced at the closed chamber door. "You said they would do whatever you wanted. You're the king, right?"
"Urn, yes, Kelsey," he agreed with a smile, "I am the king." His soft laughter died on his lips, though, when he saw tears swimming in her eyes.
"What if they won't let us? I mean, can they not let you? Can they somehow refuse to marry us or something? Or make it really h.e.l.lish and horrible so that we'll wish we never wanted to get married? They might do that, right?"
With a quick glance about them, he drew her into his arms. "Kelsey, this is a formality. It is wartime; I am in exile. What do traditions even matter anymore? Beyond" that, the council may voice its objections, and I will hear them, but it is my choice. Mine. They follow me, not vice versa. Our elders, while sometimes aggravating, are good people."
"They tried to separate us," she reminded him softly. "And they might have gotten away with it." She reached out and slowly stroked her fingertips along the warm skin of his wrist, reminding him of his royal emblem-their one pure memory they had both reclaimed.
"Elder Aldorsk acted alone-it was not the council's doing."
"Still I can't forgive him for stealing you from me for all those years."
"I haven't forgiven him either, but today I have only one concern: my marriage to you, and he has promised to argue on our behalf before the council. For that support, I am grateful."
"So we have one supporter? Only one?"
"He is the most powerful of my councilors," he rea.s.sured her, "and despite the evidence, he is a very good man. He has always served me very faithfully."
"But then why did they want to meet in private?" she asked, her pale eyes ringed with panic.
"Because royal marriages are always quite complicated- not just on my planet, but here on yours as well, from what I've seen of your history. My council isn't happy; we should prepare ourselves for that. But they know as well as I do that Thea might yet marry and produce the heir that I have not." He hesitated, staring at his booted feet. "Well, that we might..."
She slipped her hand into his. "We've talked about this," she whispered intently, her eyes saying far more than simple words ever could. Oh, yes, they had talked about it, and just thinking about that conversation caused his groin to tighten in l.u.s.tful reaction. He growled a low warning, certain that tumultuous desire must flash in his eyes, but said nothing.
Her hand tightened about his waist, and she stepped even closer. Tilting her face upward, she looked him in the eyes. "I will give you an heir, Jared. I don't know how it will happen, but I will. We're going to have a baby, maybe even more than one. They may not know that, but if you do, it might help today."
"Y-yes, it helps." He swallowed. Hard. Her a.s.surances that she would lead him into heat did nothing to ease the mad desire that had him quaking in her arms. At just the mention of cycling with her, his whole body quivered with a craving so deep and so ancient, he nearly howled his longing down the corridor where they stood waiting. Thank the G.o.ds he had better sense than that.
She studied him, her blue eyes widening as she understood how she'd just tantalized him. Her wide mouth spread into a very wicked grin. "Why, my lord, you're blus.h.i.+ng again," she teased, staring up at him through thick auburn lashes.
"It seems to happen quite a bit in your company," he agreed, glancing anxiously toward the chamber door. "Won't those d.a.m.nable people reach a decision?" he barked irritably. He wanted to wed her. Wed her and then promptly bed her-what a perfect way to spend the day.
Kelsey laughed, watching the way her husband-to-be licked his lips, his dark eyes darting maniacally, his gaze flicking first in one direction, then another. He thought she hadn't noticed what their talk about his mating cycles did to him, but he was sorely mistaken. She knew she had a lot to learn about the unique s.e.xuality of his species, but even so, it didn't take a Gray's Anatomy of alien species to recognize a seriously turned-on Refarian. When they'd first discussed the topic Jared had blushed and stammered in obvious shame and embarra.s.sment-but ever since they'd brought the subject into the open between them, he'd begun to change. An unnameable thing in the man had been set loose, and he now seemed barely able to restrain himself whenever the topic came up.
In fact, she'd begun to wonder if the only reason he'd never experienced these cycles before now was a pretty simple one: because he'd never taken a mate. He'd tried telling her that couldn't be the case, pointing to Thea's own situation, but Thea was a woman, which meant her physiology was different from Jared's. Beyond that, as a leader and king, Jared had lived a life of careful restraint. It didn't take one of his Refarian intuitives to realize that he'd kept his personal desires tamped down pretty tightly. No wonder the poor man hadn't achieved one of these cycles. He hadn't allowed himself much of anything, so why should his physical needs be an exception? That fact, together with the obvious mortification he'd felt about what he'd referred to as "animal instincts," and she had a pretty clear picture of the problem. Had it even occurred to him to consult one of his medics for a diagnosis? Or had his deeply held sense of shame run that deep?
"What did your doctors say about your, uh, situation?" she asked in a quiet voice meant only for his ears.
He gave her a blank, vaguely annoyed stare. "What situation?"
She twirled her finger in a circular loop. "The"-she leaned closer toward where he'd taken up position against the wall and stage-whispered-"cycles."
He folded both strong forearms over his chest, looking as disagreeable as he could possibly make himself. "You're obsessed," he muttered, huffing peevishly.
"You've given me my first wifely task, remember?" She fluttered her lashes, and with a slow, suggestive flick of her tongue, ran it over her bottom lip.
He stared back at her, his dark eyes wide and filled with l.u.s.t. "d.a.m.n it all!" he suddenly blurted in frustration, glancing at his watch for about the fiftieth time since they'd been waiting. He hit the comm b.u.t.ton on his arm, speaking in clipped, urgent Refarian. She didn't need to understand his words to recognize the irritation in them. "Stay here," he growled at her, stalking off to the end of the corridor.
She smiled to herself as he barked something at a group of engineers out in the breezeway who had been working on one of his fighter planes when they'd stridden in. The entire group scrambled back into the hangar. Then, rounding back toward her, his face a grim line of determination, he hit his comm again, issuing yet more commands. Almost immediately a pair of female soldiers materialized in the hallway at Kelsey's side. She looked curiously at the women, but it was obvious they'd been summoned by Jared to wait with her-and it was equally obvious that he planned to barge in on the elders' meeting.
"Wait here, please," he asked her formally, and then in a thunderous sweep, vanished behind the chamber door.
Jared's fingers twitched against the arm of his chair. It was all he could do to remain in the seat and listen to the council have their say. They'd spoken one after another in turn now for nearly an hour, when all he wanted was to get married and set about the business of the procreating they seemed so eager to describe. And describe and describe. Right now they were elucidating in painstaking detail the particulars of the D'Aravnian mating cycles and the attendant high-powered sperm he would release within his mate. He in turn had a raging hard-on that he would rather be experiencing in the bedroom than here inside the council chambers.
He s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably in the chair, glancing among the wavering holographic images of the elders, and wondered if the sizable bulge in his pants was visible all the way back on Refaria. Nothing quite like an intergalactic erection, he thought, s.h.i.+fting yet again in his seat while the elders discussed the particulars of his tricky s.e.xuality in a heated volley of possibilities. He pressed a hand to his brow and forced himself to listen.
After a few moments Dalne stepped forward, her manner as una.s.suming as ever. He'd have sworn she hated this process as much as he did. "My lord, it is just that we need an a.s.surance of your line's succession." She extended her hands in a placating, calming gesture. "With this human woman and your looming infertility-"
That was it. Enough was simply enough.
"Looming infertility?" he roared at the youngest mem-ber of the council, nearly rising out of his seat as he did so. "Looming? I am thirty, Councilor. Young by any species' reckoning, and yet you've now exaggerated my problem into a state of such urgency that it is all but towering over me. Are you privy to aspects of my own body that I am not? For last I checked I was the one living in this form. Just as I'm the one who best comprehends its behaviors and my own complicated physiology."
Dalne bowed her head, trembling visibly, but said nothing. Neither did the other objecting elders who had spoken so freely all morning. His furious gaze swept over each of them. Aldorsk gave him a small nod of encouragement- he had argued for a full fifteen minutes on Jared and Kelsey's behalf, but had been alone in his support of their marriage.
"As I thought," Jared said. "None of you dares speculate on what might transpire between the sheets of my own bed." He heard a slight gasp, though from precisely which one of his councilors, he couldn't be sure. "My private life is not for public consumption. I have made my choice, and you will marry us this afternoon."
Dame's eyes lifted, meeting his-she stood closest to him of all the elders. In her expression he saw a touch of rebellion as she dared to lock gazes with him for a beat longer than appropriate. "You will disavow your line?" she asked in a tight voice.
"I am an exile. Not a king."
"With all due respect"-her eyes remained trained on him, blazing in unexpected challenge-"I beg to differ."
"If I fail to impregnate my wife, then the line will s.h.i.+ft to the House of D'Ashani. Thea is younger than I, cycles like mad, since you seem h.e.l.l-bent on studying our unique s.e.xualities, and is sure to find a mate in the coming years."
Then Graeon, his other beloved mentor from so many years past, spoke, his voice quiet yet firm. "But D'Aravnian succession has been unbroken-"
"What, dearest Graeon, do you propose?" He ground his back teeth together in order to speak respectfully to the aging Refarian elder. "I will hear your propositions so long as they include my marriage to Kelsey Wells, whom-I should obviously remind each of you-I have already mated with. It is a finished act. The marriage is but a formality."
"So you've not yet begun to display the early signs of your maturity?" Dalne ventured, and although the truth enraged him, he had to admire her brave tenacity. "Is that what you are suggesting, my lord?"
He blew out a frustrated breath. "You know that I am not. We've had enough conversations in this chamber that you know better."
"And if we were to estimate the time before full maturity has come upon you... would it be another five years?" Dalne pressed. "Or would even that be far too optimistic?"
He growled a furious complaint at her frankness, but said nothing.
Aldorsk and Dalne exchanged an uncertain and uncomfortable glance, and then, with a slight bow of her head, Dalne retreated into the circle. Aldorsk took her place center stage, dropping his voice into a quiet, calming timbre. It was as if his mentor were speaking privately only to him. "My lord, I would propose a simple solution. One that would accommodate both your heart's desire and your wishes, while protecting the succession." The older man paused, searching Jared's face for permission to continue. Jared waved him onward, though his belly clenched with dread at the prospect of what the man would say next.
Aldorsk nodded, taking yet another step closer toward Jared. "I propose that you marry this human, sealing your union with a formal acknowledgment by this council. She will bear your mark, the mating rights will be solidified, and she shall be queen of Refaria." But then he paused. It was a dreadful, horrible pause, and Jared knew that the man's next words would be dreadful too.
"Go on," Jared ground out.
"But you will lie with Thea-not the queen-during your cycle. She will give you the needed heir and the problem will be solved."
"G.o.ds preserve us!" Jared shouted, throwing his head back with a bitter laugh. "Enough is enough."
Aldorsk pressed on, ignoring his outburst. "If you cycle with Thea, the succession is guaranteed. There will be no doubt as to your ability to conceive with your cousin."
Jared leaned forward in the chair, leveling Aldorsk with his most regal gaze. "Elder Aldorsk," he said, making his words like a deathly vise about every gathered elder's throat, "I have a revelation that may startle this council, but it's time that the truth be made plain to every one of you gathered here. I have never-not once in all my days- cycled. Not once. Not even the first inkling of fever has overtaken me, not the briefest touch of our heat. Nothing." There was an audible intake of breath from someone, perhaps Dalne. "And so you see why I chose to mate based on, shall we say, other considerations. I am not your man. Nor, it would seem, the man you have long thought me to be. Although I am certainly still a man, one with all the inherent desires of my kind, and I have found the woman I love-the woman with whom I care to spend my days in exile." He stood and brushed his hands off, the meeting finished. "And so now you finally see. The line will fall to the D'Ashani," he announced with an air of finality. "Far better for Thea to mate with another, one who might actually give her children, than be with a man of looming infertility such as myself."
Every elder gazed at him, shock and pain mingling in their expressions, but not a one of the gathered council in the room dared utter a word. So he would. With a proud smile, he lifted his chin and declared, "Now, fair council, if you do not mind, I would like to marry my mate."
It was always the unexpected small things that created tremendous snafus in any military operation. In the end, it wasn't the council's approval that interfered with their wedding day after all, nor any last-minute outbursts from his people, nor even the nervous stomach that had been plaguing Jared for the past hour. It was the simple fact that Kelsey had never been retina-scanned and approved for chambers transmission before today, and no matter what the techs attempted, the elders simply could not see her. Which made having Council Aldorsk perform the ceremony a trifle problematic.
"Perhaps if the lady would take your seat," one of the techs suggested in a gulping, uncomfortable voice. "We could attempt to scan her and then load the data by superseding yours, my lord."
Jared shot an impatient look at the young man, who instantly fell silent. A flurry of other suggestions tumbled forth from the other two techs who labored diligently within the room, and none of them worked. Jared paced, waited, and generally lost his composure as time continued to progress. Kelsey sat patiently on the side of the room, offering him that lovely wide smile of hers-the one that seemed to fill her whole face and lit him up in the process- whenever he dared glance in her direction.
He paced, shook his head, and didn't bother wondering exactly why he was so irritable about his pending nuptials. Fear wasn't an emotion he ever liked to acknowledge.