The Watcher Chronicles: Oblivion Part 32

Mason gently chastises me for not waiting for him to go with me to the cemetery, but I feel sure if he had, he would be dead too.

As we sit on the couch in the living room, Mason holds me close letting me use him to cry out my pain over the loss of Isaiah and the damage keeping my secret from Lucifer for so long has caused.

"Isaiah never came to get me," Mason tells me. "He probably knew you were lying and followed you to the cemetery. Then from there he would have just followed Baal's phase trail to your location."

"I wish he hadn't," I say, holding back a sob. "I would have just told them what they wanted to know and left."

"I seriously doubt they would have just let you leave," Mason says, not in a condescending way but just as fact. "They would have taken you to Lucifer right then and there so they could gloat."

I hear the rocking of the chair on my porch. I feel Mason tense beneath me.

"Don't go out there," Mason begs, holding me tightly to him. "He saw you fly. He might have already figured out what you are."

I wipe the tears from my eyes and pull away from Mason. Reluctantly, he lets me go so I can stand.

"I have to talk to him," I tell Mason. "I know what I have to do."

"Jess," Mason stands in front of me, "I'm begging you. Please don't go out there."

I wrap my arms around Mason's waist and look into his desperate eyes.

"I need you to trust me on this," I say to him. "G.o.d said I would know when the time was right and the time is right now."

Mason's eyes widen. "You're picking tonight of all nights to offer him back his crown? Have you lost your mind?"

I shake my head in the face of Mason's growing ire. "How is it that I have more faith in G.o.d's judgment than you do right now?"

"It's not G.o.d I doubt. It's Lucifer's ability to not kill you."

"Jess."

I look over Mason's shoulder and see Michael standing a few feet away.

"Are you going to tell me not to offer it to him too?" I ask.

Michael shakes his head. "No, I think you're right. I think it's time he knows about us. And it's time you offered him his way to salvation."

"Do you think he'll take it?" I ask.

Michael hesitates. "I don't know."

"What was Michael's answer to that question?" Mason asks.

"He doesn't know. But he feels the same way I do. It's time to tell Lucifer the truth."

Mason sighs in defeat because there's no way he can stop me now, not with Michael backing up my decision.

"Just be careful," he says, bringing my body closer to his and hugging me tightly.

I grab Lucifer's crown from its hiding place in my entertainment center. It's still wrapped in the small white hand towel I placed it in. When I walk out onto the porch, I find Lucifer rocking in his chair, hands folded in his lap with a troubled frown on his face. He doesn't look up at me, just continues to stare at his folded hands.

I stand by the railing with his crown in my hands waiting for him to speak.

Finally he says, "When did you learn how to fly?"

Lucifer looks up at me. It's near dusk and his face is partially hidden by shadows. His face is a mask of controlled emotions.

"I learned how on the night your doppelganger tried to kill me on the alternate Earth. That's how I escaped from him," I tell him.

Lucifer remains silent as he stares at me.

"What are you, Jessica?" He whispers, desperately needing an answer.

"Can I trust you with my secret?" I ask. "Are you really my friend, Lucifer?"

Lucifer remains silent and just continues to stare at me, not willing to answer my questions but expecting an answer to his.

"Before my soul ever left Heaven, it melded with that of an archangel and I became that archangel's vessel here on Earth."

Lucifer takes in a sharp breath.

"Michael," he whispers. I see him fully realize why he's been so drawn to me since we met. "That's why you can fly. You have some of his powers."

"Yes."

"And the others," Lucifer says, the pieces falling into place, "they're like you. They're vessels for the other archangels."

"Yes."

Lucifer sits back in the rocking chair and shakes his head. "Why would you tell me this? Why give me such important information?"

"Because that's what friends do," I say. "They trust each other with their secrets. I'm trusting you with mine."

Lucifer looks away from me, still shaking his head in disbelief.

"Why would you want me as a friend?" He asks and I hear the evidence of his self-loathing in his voice.

"Because I think you're worth it," I tell him. "You don't believe in yourself but I believe in you. I know you can be better than what you allow yourself to be. I have faith in you."

"And how can I believe something so ridiculous?" He asks.

I sit the still wrapped crown on the porch rail and begin to take my bracelet off. Lucifer's eyes focus on it as he notices its presence for the first time.

I walk over to him. "Give me your arm."

He hesitates but lifts his right arm allowing me to clasp the bracelet around his wrist.

"What is it?" He asks, staring at the red and black bracelet with silver angel charm.

I take hold of Lucifer's hand with both of mine. He doesn't pull away.

"Ask it to tell you what I feel for you," I tell him.

"Why?"

"Just do it," I urge.

"Out loud?" He asks.

"To yourself."

Lucifer grows silent. I know when he asks the bracelet to tell him what I feel for him because his grip tightens around my hand.

"That's not possible," he says, pus.h.i.+ng my hands away. "You can't feel that way about me. No one can..."

"I do."

"Why?" he asks looking down at the bracelet still on his wrist, his voice hoa.r.s.e with emotion.

"Because you're my friend and friends have faith in each other."

I grab the towel wrapped crown from its spot on the rail and begin to unwrap it. Lucifer's attention is drawn back to me by the motion and I see his eyes glaze over with tears when he sees his crown.

"How did you get that?" He whispers.

"Your father repaired it and gave it to me. He told me I would know the right time to offer it back to you." I hold the crown out to Lucifer. "Please, take it and let go of your hatred. Be my friend, Lucifer. Prove to yourself that you can change."

Lucifer stands abruptly and walks up to the railing beside me grasping it so tightly with both his hands I hear the wood begin to splinter. He takes in a deep shuddering breath.

"You don't know what you're asking me to do," he says, shaking his head like my request is an impossible task.

"Ask for his forgiveness, Lucifer. That's all he's ever wanted. He loves you."

I watch as Lucifer closes his eyes. "He can't still love me."

"Why?"

"Because of what I've allowed myself to become. How can he still love me?"

"Because he's your father. There's no greater love than that between a child and a parent. He can forgive you anything but you have to ask Him for it."

Lucifer opens his eyes and looks at me. A single tear courses down his face.

"I can't," he whispers like a child.

"Yes, you can," I say, holding the crown out to him.

Lucifer looks down at the crown in my hands. Slowly, he loosens his grip on the rail and lifts one hand off, inching it closer to the crown. His breathing becomes labored and it's almost like I can feel the war raging inside him. His hand trembles as it gets closer to the crown.

I find myself holding my breath, praying he takes it and ends his own torment.

Lucifer lets out a guttural cry and instead of grabbing the crown from my hands he grabs me by the throat and pushes me against the porch post at my back causing the house to shake.

He squeezes my neck so tightly I fear he'll break my neck. He stares into my eyes seeming to search for evidence of his best friend inside my body. In one swift motion, he throws me off the porch and onto the sidewalk where I land hard on my side, the crown skitters out of my hands and rolls onto the front lawn.

I feel myself begin to cry. I don't cry for myself. I cry for Lucifer and the opportunity of forgiveness he's willingly throwing away because of his pride. He's lost. He'll never ask for his father's forgiveness. He'll never stop his plan of revenge. He will never truly be my friend.

When I look back up at Lucifer, I see him trembling with rage.

"You and I are not friends," he says with finality. "I don't care how many archangels you have at your side you will never be able to stop me. And tell my father He can keep that relic for all of eternity. I don't need his forgiveness. I never have. And the next time I see you, Jessica," he takes in a deep breath before saying, "I will kill you."

Lucifer phases, leaving me bereft of hope.

Mason rushes out the front door and pulls me to my feet. I collapse into his arms for the second time that night sobbing out my anguish over Lucifer's missed opportunity. And I know in my heart Lucifer will keep his word.

The next time he sees me...he will kill me...

Mason holds me in the circle of his arms trying to sooth my pain like you would an upset child. He makes attempts to calm my sobbing but nothing he says, nothing he does can stop the flow of my tears or heal the tear in my heart. With Lucifer's refusal to accept my friends.h.i.+p and his own redemption, my heart feels empty of hope and an unending sense of loss fills my soul. The hollowness I feel doesn't solely belong to me. Michael's sorrow makes my heart feel like it's imploded inside my chest. We both had hope Lucifer would accept his chance at salvation. Lucifer's refusal of the crown, and perhaps last chance at forgiveness, isn't what upsets us the most. It's the fact that we both know he wanted to accept it and chose to let his dark side win that is tearing us apart.

"How could you do this to her?" I hear Mason ask someone, his voice filled with anguish over my sorrow. "How could you put her through this when she's already been through so much?"

"She was his best chance."

I force myself to stop crying and turn around. Lucifer's crown still lies where it fell, on the brown gra.s.s in the center of my front lawn. Standing behind the crown is G.o.d. He looks at me with the anguish only a heartbroken father can hold in his eyes. I know his sorrow isn't only for Lucifer's missed opportunity but for my pain as well.

He holds his arms out to me and I don't hesitate to go to Him. When we embrace, I feel a sense of calm overcome me, filling the holes in my heart left behind by Lucifer.

"You did your best," He tells me, holding me tightly in his warm embrace. "It was him who failed you, not the other way around."

"He wanted to take it," I say, trying to prevent myself from sobbing but failing miserably. "I know he wanted to. I could feel it."

"He's always been his own worst enemy," G.o.d says with a deep sigh. He rests his chin on top of my head as he continues to hold me. "Now you know the pain I've felt since the moment he chose his pride over his love for me."

"How do you live with the loss?"

"I choose to remain hopeful that one day he'll see his way through the darkness he surrounds himself with and find his way back to me."

"I don't think I'll live long enough to see that happen," I tell Him.

"No, but I promise when it does, you'll be by my side to welcome him home."

"What do I do now?" I ask, seeking His guidance.

"Stop him."

"What if I can't?" I lift my head and look into G.o.d's eyes.

"You must," he tells me unequivocally. "And you will."