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A HAWK IN SILVER.
by Mary Gentle.
The Hawk Silver glinted.
Stopping to look in the art shop window, Holly saw the glitter down among the cigarette ends, sweet wrappers and dust.
Automatically she covered it with her foot, glanced round, then picked it up.
Silver, cold to the touch.
In her dirty palm in the June morning sun lay a disc the size of a ten penny piece. It was bright and untarnished with a hole drilled near the edge as if it should hang on a chain. On it gleamed the image of a hawk stooping in mid-air to take its prey. Foreign coin? Special issue? She flipped it over. On the obverse was a woman's head in profile, feral-faced, with long sea-waving hair. Holly thought of the canvas and oil-paints and racks of brushes in the shop. d.a.m.n! she thought. Just when I could've done with some cash. Wonder if it's valu-able...?
She slipped the medallion in her pocket, her attention returning to the shop window.
She froze. The street was clearly reflected. On the opposite pavement, a man was staring fixedly at her. Tall, dressed in an old shabby coat a size too large for him and with a woollen hat pulled down almost to his eyes. She took him for one of the tramps and derelicts who slept out in the East Hill caves during the summer. Except there was something wrong about him...
She swung round to face him but he was quicker and vanished into the crowd of Sat.u.r.day morning shoppers. Holly glared up the road, at the parked cars and the bright street. He was gone. She paused, shrugged, then carried on walking, fists deep in denim pockets. The coin made a hard edge against her knuckles.
I guess he wanted money. Probably needs it more than me. Too bad... Then she frowned. So far as she could tell, seeing only his reflection in a dark window, he had been exceptionally fair-skinned. And that's what's wrong-he was too clean.
The heat fried her, making her clothing sticky. Lethargically she sauntered past the little shops of the Old Town: jeweller, junkman's, bookshop, toyshop, cafe and opticians', puzzling over the coin. It did not grow warm to the touch.
Jesus, today's hot! Coming to the end of South Street, she looked undecidedly down the main road to the overcrowded beach. Not a hope. I gotta get out of here for a bit.
She threaded her way quickly through the crowds to the Fishmarket. A few minutes later she was at the top of Tackle-way Steps, at the foot of the East Hill.
Where it faces the sea this is a sandstone cliff pocked with caves. On the town side a steep gorse and bramble-covered slope has one twisting stairway leading up it. At the summit a grey rock juts out like a s.h.i.+p's prow. Beyond that lies high, wide and gra.s.sy downland, the gorse-yellow Fire Hills and Starsh.e.l.l Cove.
Holly flopped full-length on Highrock, her cheek against the warm grey stone, exhausted by the climb. Seagulls and a sudden wind cried overhead. Having caught her breath she lifted her head, resting it on her arms, and stared down from the rock's edge.
Surcombe Old Town lay below, a maze of narrow streets. Houses with ancient red-tiled roofs, white-plastered walls and black beams, were interspersed with shops, pubs and churches. There were miniature cars, doll-people, and sudden inky shadows that resolved themselves into black cats sleeping on dusty pavements. The main road, scaled with cars, glittered and fumed like a summer dragon. She saw grey stone spires and-raising her eyes-the West Hill and the Castle bulking opposite.
Down on the beach were fis.h.i.+ng-boats, drawn up on the s.h.i.+ngle in the shadow of the tarry-black net-drying sheds. Her eyes were drawn by the line of the coast past the West Hill, behind which modern Surcombe and her own home lay hidden, along to the Marina where the town ended. From Hallows Hill to Gallows Hill a heat-haze hid the marshes; beyond that lay the small town of Combe Marish and a long sweep of land that finished a score of miles away at Deepdean, where Chalkspit jutted out into the Channel. And all the time, on her left, the sea lay flat and innocent and unbearably bright. With seagulls flying above and below her, she seemed sus-pended in the middle air, out of the sweltering town forever. The silence came down like a wave.
"h.e.l.lo."
The voice came from behind her. She started awake, dis-orientated for a second. Then, rubbing drowsiness out of sun-heavy eyes, she sat up and swung round, brus.h.i.+ng rock-dust from her T-s.h.i.+rt.
"My name's Fletcher."
He stood easy and unembarra.s.sed, a tall and long-boned youth. He looked maybe a year older than her, and a hand's breadth taller. He was suntanned an even dark gold, and wore denim jeans hacked off to shorts, no s.h.i.+rt, and bare feet. Thick semi-curly dark hair framed a square face, blunt nose, wide smiling mouth with uneven white teeth, and deepset dark blue eyes. She thought, Student? On holiday?
"What d'you want?"
"I saw you down there-" he jerked a thumb in the town's direction "-you found a coin. About this big; silver. Yes?"
She hedged. "Maybe. I found a coin, but is it the one you lost?"
"Mine has a hawk on one side, and a woman's head on the other."
"Yeah, that's it. Hang about." She pulled out a handful of loose change and began sorting through it. "I thought it was maybe foreign. Where'd it come from?"
"Junkshop. Before that-" he shrugged.Far below, a church clock struck once. Holly absently checked her watch, stared in dismay, then scrambled up.
"Jesus, that's torn it; half-one. I was meant to be home for dinner at one. Hey, catch!"
She flicked the silver disc in his direction, slid feet-first off the side of the rock and landed heavily on the path below. She regretted leaving. Even if he wasn't good-looking, the boy had an interesting face-and it's not so often, she thought, that I get a fella to myself.
"What's your name?" He stood on Highrock's brink. She squinted up, shadowing her eyes with her hand.
"Holly." Then, in case he misheard: "Holly Anderson. Bye!"
She ran down the steps, yellow dust skidding up under her feet, hair flying into her eyes. There was a one thirty-five bus from the Fishmarket, she thought...
Fletcher stood and watched until the town swallowed her. He stretched like an idle cat in the sun. Then he picked up the coin from the rock. And frowned. Alarmed, he sought the girl again, but she was gone.
"h.e.l.lo, Mum?"
The phone box was like a small oven. Holly gazed unseeingly at the centre of Surcombe, tapping her free hand on the gla.s.s.
"Mum-it's Holly. Look, I'm gonna be a bit late for dinner; I missed one bus already-"
"Holly, thank goodness! I've been wondering where you were. Dear, your father and I have got to go over to Combe Marish this afternoon."
"What's up?"
"We've had a phone call from Aunt Elizabeth. Grandad's ill; she wants us to go over there."
Holly thought, The old b.a.s.t.a.r.d, not again! "Can I come?"
"I think it's better if you don't, dear, really. I don't like to leave you but we have to start at once-I've made sandwiches for you, and you can manage your own tea, can't you?"
"Mum, I'm fifteen." Holly sighed, "Yes, OK, I'll manage. Look, don't worry about me. You just stick close to Dad; it's his father. I'll see you tonight."
"All right, then. Be good, dear. Bye."
Holly replaced the receiver thoughtfully. Outside, the heat engulfed her, beating back from the pavements and high buildings. She wiped a thin film of sweat from her upper lip, sighed and pulled at the neck of her T-s.h.i.+rt. With no reason now to hurry home, she leaned on the railings outside W. H. Smith and watched the traffic. Here the main coast road met the main London road in a swirl of petrol fumes and dust.
If I had tuppence for every time that son of a b.i.t.c.h has been 'sick' I should be a millionaire, she thought bitterly. Why should we run round after him anyway? He's got Aunt Liz. Ah, h.e.l.l. If I'd known this was going to happen, I'd've stayed for a talk with that lad...
"Hey, dopey: wake up!"
"Hull-oh, hi, Chris, how're you doing?" She made room for the girl at the rail, surprised to see her on a Sat.u.r.day. They did not see much of each other out of school. Chris was an active member of many athletic and social clubs, hardly seeing the inside of her home except to sleep; while Holly spent hours alone in her room with paints and canvas. At school, however, they were inseparable. The arrangement suited Holly-she sometimes found Chris overpoweringly energetic. "How's the cinema business?"
"Are you kidding? What business? I just finished being cas.h.i.+er for the kids' cartoon-show-might just as well not have bothered. With this heatwave they're all on the beach. G.o.dd.a.m.n part-time jobs!" She was a tall skinny girl, snub-nosed, with blonde hair bleached white-gold by the sun. Darker tendrils clung to her damp forehead. Pale eyebrows gave her face a deceptive wide-eyed-innocent look. Unlike Holly, she was neatly dressed; white blouse and blue denim skirt. "Whatta life this is... You staying down here for dinner, aren't you?"
Holly shrugged, used to following Chris's lead, "I guess so."
"OK, let's head for Toni's. Got any money?"
"Yeah, I think." She produced a fistful of coins. "Chuck this lot in with what you got; see what we can afford."
The cafe was a ma.s.s of people. Holly sat on one chair and put her feet across another while Chris joined the queue. Their voices wove into the cross-mesh of conversation, across the seated people and the gleaming table-tops.
"How much've we got?"
"Seventy-seven pence. I got news for you-somebody's pa.s.sed you a dud ten-pence bit." Chris tossed a coin. It fell in a glittering arc and rang on the table. Holly picked it up.
A hawk. A woman's face.
"h.e.l.l, I thought I'd got rid of that. I suppose I gave him a ten-pence... oh, d.a.m.n!"
"What?"
"Never mind, never mind... I'll tell you about it when we've eaten."
The coin lay on the table between them. Holly leaned back, having finished her story, and swept the dark hair out of her face. She envied Chris her cropped hairstyle, and sought in her pocket for an elastic band to fasten her own back in a ponytail.
Chris frowned. "Sounds fishy to me. You should've found out where it came from. And him, too. What'd he look like?"
Holly considered. "That photo of Davy Starren on his last LP. Like that, only dark-haired."
"Very nice."
"That's irrelevant. This hawk thing, coin or whatever, it might be valuable. Real silver, even. Reckon I ought to get it back to him."
"How?"
"I don't know how!"
Chris ticked off points on her fingers. "One: you don't properly know his name. Two: you don't know where he lives.
Three: you don't really know it's his. Fishy, like I said. If it was me, I'd say 'finders-keepers'."
Holly covered it with her hands as a group of youths pushed past. "Like to. But I give it one last chance, I think. He might still be up on East Hill. Coming?""Was going down to the pool, get a bit of practice in for that compet.i.tion. Still..." Chris grinned. "Davy Starren, you said?
That'd be worth seeing!"
"Is it necessary to trail your filthy shoes all over the house?"
"No, Dad. Sorry, Dad." Holly shut the front door and slipped her shoes off, deciding she'd better go carefully. Visits to Combe Marish never improved her father's temper.
"Go and give your mother a hand with the tea while I lay the table."
"Yes, Dad."
Holly threw her shoes into the hall cupboard and limped to the kitchen. Her feet were hot and aching. She and Chris had walked across most of the cliff but they had not found the boy.
Seeing Holly, her mother smiled. "Did you have a good time in town, dear? Oh-you haven't eaten your sandwiches."
"Had dinner down the town. Went over the East Hill with Chris. Don' worry, I'll eat 'em now. How was Combe Marish?"
Mrs Anderson turned away and began filling the kettle. "Grandad's gone into hospital. Apparently Elizabeth phoned the doctor; said her father wasn't eating and wouldn't get out of bed; what should she do? The doctor came round and took one look; said get him into hospital. Of course, Elizabeth and your father are very upset."
"So I noticed." She thought, I'm not upset-except: does that mean we'll have to visit him in hospital? Christ! She fetched the cups. "In a right temper, is Dad. What's wrong with the old buzzard, then: why hospital?"
"The doctor said-could I have the milk? Thanks-he said it was just old age; but he'd be too much for Elizabeth to nurse on her own. I feel I ought to offer to have him down here, but with you at school and both of us at work, there'd be no one to look after him."
"The house is too small," Holly said resentfully, knowing whose bedroom would be taken over. "He's got Liz. We don't want him living here!"
"Holly-"
"All right, all right. I won't say any more. Just, don't you worry any more, see?" Because the bad-tempered old b.u.g.g.e.r ain't worth it!
"It's a long business... and it's your father I worry about. Still, we're home now. I'll take the tea in."
Holly put the television on, depending on the Sat.u.r.day evening programmes to keep her mind off her problems. She sat restless, conscious of the hawk-coin in her pocket, as the evening wore away.
Silver liquid moonlight flooded her room. Holly lay taut, listening for the slightest sound. Something had woken her; she didn't know what. No shadow s.h.i.+fted. Into the silence came a rattle and a metallic click. On the floor...
Her hand sneaked out from under the sheet to flick on the light-switch. When her eyes refocused she saw a small dark shape on the floor. It was alive. A mouse.
Holly stared.
Between its front paws lay the hawk-coin, bigger than the animal's head. As she watched, it tugged the coin with sharp incisor teeth, jerking it towards the door. A fat beady-eyed grey mouse.
Soundlessly she sat up in bed and slung a pillow at it. Quick as she was, it was quicker, vanis.h.i.+ng out of the door with a scrabble of claws. The hawk-coin lay in the middle of the linoleum.
She noted the time: half past three. Sleep fogged her head. Quietly she got up, retrieved coin and pillow and crawled back into bed.
I don't really believe I saw... I left it on the bedside table... so how..?. She s.h.i.+vered. Then she tied the coin in a hand-kerchief, tied that round her wrist and huddled under the thin sheet. Dropping asleep, she thought she heard a faint eerie music. It wound in and out of her dreams; but in the morning she made a discovery that drove it completely from her memory.2 First Blood Holly stirred and slept again several times before waking, burrowing face-down into the pillow's warmth. Eventually she reached out and switched on the radio for a time-check.
Eight-ten, she realised. Sunday. No one moving... Mum and Dad having a lie-in. Good. Lazy day for me. Forget school and homework until tomorrow.
Morning light picked out sheaves of paper heaped on the dressing-table, squashed and bent-backed tubes of paint, a shrouded corner of the easel, and crumpled clothes thrown down on the dusty lino. Irregular splashes of colour leaped out from posters pinned on the walls: gold, viridian and crimson.
She rolled off the bed, heavy-limbed, and climbed slowly into blue denim jeans, the rough material dragging at calves and hips and thighs. Her eyes were gritty. She rubbed sleep away and began brus.h.i.+ng her hair back, tying it away from her face in one heavy plait.
You look grotty. Holly watched her reflection in the dressing-table mirror. Mousy hair. And grey eyes-what sort of eyeshadow is supposed to match that? And ears that stick out. And you're too fat. G.o.d save us, no wonder you ain't got no boyfriends...
That thought brought back all of Sat.u.r.day. She threw down the brush and scrabbled at the sheet, frantically shaking it.
She found a crumpled handkerchief and, in one fold, the hawk-coin.