The Panchronicon Part 55

"Know you Sir Percevall's friend, Lady Rebecca?" asked Elizabeth.

"Why, yes, your Majesty. He and I came over together from Peltonville. I believe he's after a patent."

"A patent? What mean you? Doth he ask for a patent of n.o.bility--a t.i.tle?

Can this be the suit of the fat knight?"

"I don't know," said Rebecca. "'Tain't nothin' 'bout n.o.bility, I'm sure, though. It's a patent on a phonograph, I b'lieve."

"Know you aught of this, my lord?" said Elizabeth, turning to Burleigh.

"Why, yes, your Majesty. I have to-day received from Sir Percevall Hart a letter written by my nephew, Francis Bacon----"

"Bacon! What! Ay--methinks we know somewhat of this same Francis," said the Queen, grimly. "A member of Parliament, is he not?"

"Even so, your Majesty," said Burleigh, somewhat crestfallen. "From this letter I learn," he continued, while Elizabeth shook her head, "that this American--a Master Dupe, I believe----"

"No--no--Droop!" cried Rebecca. "Copernicus Droop."

The baron bowed.

"That this Master Droop desires the grant of a monopoly in----"

"A monopoly!" cried Elizabeth. "What! This independent young barrister--this parliamentary meddler in opposition, forsooth! He craveth a monopoly? G.o.d's death! A monopoly in all the impudence in this our realm is of a surety this fellow's right! We grant it--we grant it.

Let the papers be drawn forthwith!"

The baron bent before the storm and, bowing, remained silent. Rebecca, however, could scarce see the justice of the Queen's position.

"Well, but look here, your Majesty," she said. "'Tain't Mr. Bacon as wants this patent; it's Mr. Droop. Mr. Bacon only gave him a letter to Mr. Burleigh here."

Astonishment was depicted in every face save in that of the Queen, whose little eyes were now turned upon her sister sovereign in anger.

"Harkye, Lady Rebecca!" she exclaimed. "Is it the custom to take the Queen to task in your realm?"

Rebecca's reply came pat. The type was prepared beforehand, and she answered now with a clear conscience.

"Why, of course. We talk jest as we feel like to all the queens there is in my country."

The equivocation in this reply must have struck the Queen, for she said, without taking her eyes from Rebecca's face:

"And, prithee, Lady Rebecca, how many queens be there in America? We begin to doubt if royalty be known there."

Again Messer Guido evinced signs of an anxious desire to speak, and Rebecca shrewdly took advantage of this at once.

"Messer Guido can tell you all 'bout that, I guess," she said.

Elizabeth turned her eyes to the savant.

"What knowledge have you of this, learned doctor?" she asked, coldly.

"Why, your Majesty," said Guido, with delighted zeal, "the case is plain. Will your Majesty but look at this drawing on one of the inner pages of the printed doc.u.ment brought by the Lady Rebecca? Behold the effigy of a powder canister, with the words 'Royal Baking Powder'

thereon. This would appear evidence that in America gunpowder is known and is used by the sovereigns of the various tribes. Here again we see 'The Royal Corset,' and there 'Crown s.h.i.+rts.' Can it be doubted that the Americans have royal governors?"

The Queen's face cleared a little at this, and Guido proceeded with increased animation:

"Behold further upon the front page, your Majesty, the effigy of a man wearing a round crown with a peak or projecting shelf over the eyes.

Under this we read the legend 'The Czar of the Tenderloin.' Now, your Majesty will remember that the ruler of Muscovy is termed the Czar. The Tenderloin signifieth, doubtless, some order, akin, perchance, to the Garter."

"This hath a plausible bent, Messer Guido," said Elizabeth, with more good-nature. "Lady Rebecca, can you better explain this matter of the Czar?"

"No, indeed," Rebecca replied, with perfect truth. "Mister Guido must have a fine mind to understand things like that!"

"In sooth, good Messer Guido," said Elizabeth, with a smile, "your research and power of logic do you great credit. We doubt not to learn more of these new empires from your learned pains than ever from Raleigh, Drake, and the other travellers whose dull wits go but to the surface of things. But, Lord warrant us!" she continued, "here standeth our page, having as yet no answer. Go, sirrah, and bid Sir Percevall and this great American to our presence straight."

Then, turning again to Guido, she said:

"Messer Guido, we enjoin it upon your learning that you do make a note of the pet.i.tion of this American, as well as of those things which he may answer in explanation of his design."

With a bow, Guido stepped to one side and, carefully folding the newspaper, drew from his bosom his tablets and prepared to obey.

All eyes turned curiously to the door as it opened to admit the two suitors, who were followed by the page. Sir Percevall, with plumed hat in one hand and sword hilt in the other, advanced ponderously, bowing low at every other step. Droop hurriedly deposited his two boxes upon the floor and followed his monitor, closely imitating his every step and gesture. Having no sword, he thought it best to put his left hand into his bosom, an att.i.tude which he recollected in a picture of Daniel Webster.

The fat knight was about to kneel to kiss the royal hand, but Elizabeth, smiling, detained him.

"Nay, nay!" she said. "You, Sir Percevall, have paid your debt of homage in advance for a twelvemonth. He who kisses the dust at our feet hath knelt for ten." Then, turning to Droop, who was down on both knees, with his hand still in his breast: "What now!" she exclaimed. "Hath your hand suffered some mischance, Sir American, that you hide it in your bosom?"

"Not a mite--not a mite!" Droop stuttered, quickly extending the member in question. "Nay, your Majesty--in sooth, no--my hand beeth all right!"

"We learn from the Lord Treasurer," said Elizabeth, addressing Sir Percevall, "that your pet.i.tion hath reference to a monopoly. Know you not, Sir Knight, that these be parlous days for making of new monopolies? Our subjects murmur, and 'tis said that we have already been too generous with these great gifts. Have you considered of this?"

"My liege," said Sir Percevall, "these things have we considered. Nor would we tempt this awful Presence with pet.i.tions looking to tax further the public patience. But, please your Majesty, Master Droop, my client here," indicating the still kneeling man with a sweeping gesture, "hath brought into being an instrument, or rather two instruments, of marvellous fas.h.i.+on and of powers strange. Of these your Majesty's subjects have had hitherto no knowledge, and it is in the making and selling of these within this realm that we do here crave a right of monopoly under the Great Seal."

"Excuse me, forsooth, your Majesty," Droop broke in, "but would thou mind if I get up, my liege?"

"Nay, rise, rise, Master Droop!" exclaimed the Queen, smothering a laugh. "We find matter for favor in your sponsor's speech. Can you more fully state the nature of this pet.i.tion?"

"Yes, ma'am--your Majesty," said Droop, rising and dusting off his knees. "I am the inventor of a couple of things, forsooth, that are away ahead of the age. Marry, yes! I call 'em a bicycle and a phonograph."

"Well, did you ever!" murmured Rebecca, amazed at this impudent claim to invention.

Messer Guido paused in his writing and began to unfold his precious American newspaper, while Droop went on, encouraged by the attentive curiosity which he had evidently excited in the Queen.

"Now, the bicycle--or the bike, fer short--is a kind of a wagon or vehycle, you wot. When you mount on it, you can trundle yerself along like all possessed----"

"Gramercy!" broke in the Queen, in a tone of irritation. "What have we here! We must have plain English, Master Droop. American idioms are unknown to us."

As Droop opened his mouth to reply, Guido stepped forward with a great rustling of paper.

"May it please your Gracious Majesty--" he panted, eagerly.