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Calamities And Quarrels Of Authors Part 56

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He weighed near twenty stone, according to his own avowal--an Elephant-Cupid! One of his "Sons," at the "Devil," seems to think that his _Catiline_ could not fail to be a miracle, by a certain sort of inspiration which Ben used on the occasion.

"With strenuous sinewy words that _Catiline_ swells, I reckon it not among men-miracles.

How could that poem heat and vigour lack, _When each line oft cost BEN a cup of sack_?"

R. BARON'S _Pocula Castalia_, p. 113, 1650.

Jonson, in the Bacchic phraseology of the day, was "a Canary-bird." "He would (says Aubrey) many times exceed in drink; canary was his beloved liquor; then he would tumble home to bed; and when he had thoroughly perspired, then to study."



Tradition, too, has sent down to us several tavern-tales of "Rare Ben." A good-humoured one has been preserved of the first interview between Bishop Corbet, when a young man, and our great bard. It occurred at a tavern, where Corbet was sitting alone. Ben, who had probably just drank up to the pitch of good fellows.h.i.+p, desired the waiter to take to the gentleman "a quart of _raw_ wine; and tell him," he added, "I _sacrifice_ my service to him."--"Friend," replied Corbet, "I thank him for his love; but tell him, from me, that he is mistaken; for _sacrifices are always burned_." This pleasant allusion to the mulled wine of the time by the young wit could not fail to win the affection of the master-wit himself. Harl.

MSS. 6395.

Ben is not viewed so advantageously, in an unlucky fit of ebriety recorded by Oldys, in his MS. notes on Langbaine; but his authority is not to me of a suspicious nature: he had drawn it from a MS. collection of Oldisworth's, who appears to have been a curious collector of the history of his times. He was secretary to that strange character, Philip, Earl of Pembroke. It was the custom of those times to form collections of little traditional stories and other good things; we have had lately given to us by the Camden Society an amusing one, from the L'Estrange family, and the MS. already quoted is one of them. There could be no bad motive in recording a tale, quite innocent in itself, and which is further confirmed by Isaac Walton, who, without alluding to the tale, notices that Jonson parted from Sir Walter Raleigh and his son "not in cold blood." Mr. Gifford, in a MS. note on this work, does not credit this story, it not being accordant with dates. Such stories may not accord with dates or persons, and yet may be founded on some substantial fact. I know of no injury to Ben's poetical character, in showing that he was, like other men, quite incapable of taking care of himself, when he was sunk in the heavy sleep of drunkenness. It was an age when kings, as our James I. and his majesty of Denmark, were as often laid under the table as their subjects. My motive for preserving the story is the incident respecting _carrying men in baskets_: it was evidently a custom, which perhaps may have suggested the memorable adventure of Falstaff. It was a convenient mode of conveyance for those who were incapable of taking care of themselves before the invention of hackney coaches, which was of later date, in Charles the First's reign.

Camden recommended Jonson to Sir Walter Raleigh as a tutor to his son, whose gay humours not brooking the severe studies of Jonson, took advantage of his foible, to degrade him in the eyes of his father, who, it seems, was remarkable for his abstinence from wine: though, if another tale be true, he was no common sinner in "the true Virginia." Young Raleigh contrived to give Ben a surfeit, which threw the poet into a deep slumber; and then the pupil maliciously procured a buck-basket, and a couple of men, who carried our Ben to Sir Walter, with a message that "their young master had sent home his tutor." There is nothing improbable in the story; for the circ.u.mstance of _carrying drunken men in baskets_ was a usual practice. In the Harleian MS. quoted above, I find more than one instance; I will give one. An alderman, carried in _a porter's basket_, at his own door, is thrown out of it in a _qualmish_ state. The man, to frighten away the pa.s.sengers, and enable the grave citizen to creep in un.o.bserved, exclaims, that the man had the _falling sickness_!

[389] These were Marston and Decker, but as is usual with these sort of caricatures, the originals sometimes mistook their likenesses. They were both town-wits, and cronies, of much the same stamp; by a careful perusal of their works, the editor of Jonson has decided that Marston was Crispinus. With him Jonson had once lived on the most friendly terms: afterwards the great poet quarrelled with both, or they with him.

Dryden, in the preface to his "Notes and Observations on the Empress of Morocco," in his quarrel with Settle, which has been sufficiently narrated by Dr. Johnson, felt, when poised against this miserable rival, who had been merely set up by a party to mortify the superior genius, as Jonson had felt when pitched against _Crispinus_. It is thus that literary history is so interesting to authors. How often, in recording the fates of others, it reflects their own! "I knew indeed (says Dryden) that to write against him was to do him too great an honour; but I considered Ben Jonson had done it before to Decker, our author's predecessor, whom he chastised in his Poetaster, under the character of _Crispinus_." Langbaine tells us the subject of the "Satiromastix" of Decker, which I am to notice, was "the witty Ben Jonson;" and with this agree all the notices I have hitherto met with respecting "the Horace Junior" of Decker's _Satiromastix_. Mr. Gilchrist has published two curious pamphlets on Jonson; and in the last, p.

56, he has shown that Decker was "the poet-ape of Jonson," and that he avenged himself under the character of _Crispinus_ in his "Satiromastix;" to which may be added, that the _Fannius_, in the same satirical comedy, is probably his friend Marston.

Jonson allowed himself great liberty in _personal satire_, by which, doubtless, he rung an alarum to a waspish host; he lampooned _Inigo Jones_, the great machinist and architect.

The lampoons are printed in Jonson's works [but not in their entirety. The great architect had sufficient court influence to procure them to be cancelled; and the character of _In-and-in Medley_, in "The Tale of a Tub," has come down to us with no other satirical personal traits than a few fantastical expressions]; and I have in MS. an answer by Inigo Jones, in verse, so pitiful that I have not printed it. That he condescended to bring obscure individuals on the stage, appears by his character of _Carlo Buffoon_, in _Every Man out of his Humour_. He calls this "a second untruss," and was censured for having drawn it from personal revenge. The Aubrey Papers, recently published have given us the character of this _Carlo Buffoon_, "one Charles Chester, a bold impertinent fellow; and they could never be at quiet for him; a perpetual talker, and made a noise like a drum in a room. So one time at a tavern Sir Walter Raleigh beats him, and seals up his mouth; _i.e._, his upper and nether beard, with hard wax."--p. 514.

Such a character was no unfitting object for dramatic satire.

Mr. Gilchrist's pamphlets defended Jonson from the frequent accusations raised against him for the freedom of his muse, in such portraits after the life. Yet even our poet himself does not deny their truth, while he excuses himself. In the dedication of "The Fox," to the two Universities, he boldly asks, "Where have I been particular? Where personal?--Except to a mimic, cheater, bawd, buffoon, creatures (for their insolencies) worthy to be taxed." The mere list he here furnishes us with would serve to crowd one of the "twopenny audiences" in the small theatres of that day.

[390] Alluding, no doubt, to the price of seats at some of the minor theatres.

[391] It was the fas.h.i.+on with the poets connected with the theatre to wear long hair. Nashe censures Greene "for his fond (foolish) disguising of a Master of Arts (which was Greene's degree) with ruffianly hair."--ED.

[392] Alluding to the trial of the Poetasters, which takes place before Augustus and his poetical jury of Virgil, Ovid, Tibullus, &c., in Ben's play.

[393] Decker alludes here to the b.a.s.t.a.r.d of Burgundy, who considered himself unmatchable, till he was overthrown in Smithfield by Woodville, Earl Rivers.

[394] Horace acknowledges he played Zulziman at Paris-garden. "Sir Vaughan: Then, master Horace, you played the part of an honest man--"

Tucca exclaims: "Death of Hercules! he could never play that part well in 's life!"

[395] Among those arts of imitation which man has derived from the practice of animals, naturalists a.s.sure us that he owes _the use of clysters_ to the Egyptian Ibis. There are some who pretend this medicinal invention comes from the stork. The French are more like _Ibises_ than we are: _ils se donnent des lavements eux-memes_. But as it is rather uncertain what the Egyptian _Ibis_ is; whether, as translated in Leviticus xi.

17, the cormorant, or a species of stork, or only "a great owl," as we find in Calmet; it would be safest to attribute the invention to the unknown bird. I recollect, in Wickliffe's version of the Pentateuch, which I once saw in MS. in the possession of my valued friend Mr. Douce, that that venerable translator interpolates a little, to tell us that the Ibis "giveth to herself a purge."

JONSON AND DECKER.

BEN JONSON appears to have carried his military spirit into the literary republic--his gross convivialities, with anecdotes of the prevalent taste in that age for drinking-bouts--his "Poetaster" a sort of _Dunciad_, besides a personal attack on the frequenters of the theatres, with anecdotes--his Apologetical Dialogue, which was not allowed to be repeated--characters of DECKER and of MARSTON--DECKER'S Satiromastix, a parody on JONSON'S "Poetaster"--BEN exhibited under the character of "Horace Junior"--specimens of that literary satire; its dignified remonstrance, and the honourable applause bestowed on the great bard--some foibles in the literary habits of BEN, alluded to by DECKER--JONSON'S n.o.ble reply to his detractors and rivals.

This quarrel is a splendid instance how genius of the first order, lavis.h.i.+ng its satirical powers on a number of contemporaries, may discover, among the crowd, some individual who may return with a right aim the weapon he has himself used, and who will not want for encouragement to attack the common a.s.sailant: the greater genius is thus mortified by a victory conceded to the inferior, which he himself had taught the meaner one to obtain over him.

JONSON, in his earliest productions, "Every Man in his Humour," and "Every Man out of his Humour," usurped that dictators.h.i.+p, in the Literary Republic, which he so st.u.r.dily and invariably maintained, though long and hardily disputed. No bard has more courageously foretold that posterity would be interested in his labours; and often with very dignified feelings he casts this declaration into the teeth of his adversaries: but a bitter contempt for his brothers and his contemporaries was not less vehement than his affections for those who crowded under his wing. To his "sons" and his admirers he was warmly attached, and no poet has left behind him, in MS., so many testimonies of personal fondness, in the inscriptions and addresses, in the copies of his works which he presented to friends: of these I have seen more than one fervent and impressive.

DRUMMOND of Hawthornden, who perhaps carelessly and imperfectly minuted down the heads of their literary conference on the chief authors of the age, exposes the severity of criticism which Ben exercised on some spirits as n.o.ble as his own. The genius of Jonson was rough, hardy, and invincible, of which the frequent excess degenerated into ferocity; and by some traditional tales, this ferocity was still inflamed by large potations: for Drummond informs us, "Drink was the element in which he lived."[388] Old Ben had given, on two occasions, some remarkable proofs of his personal intrepidity. When a soldier, in the face of both armies, he had fought single-handed with his antagonist, had slain him, and carried off his arms as trophies. Another time he killed his man in a duel.

Jonson appears to have carried the same military spirit into the Literary Republic.

Such a genius would become more tyrannical by success, and naturally provoked opposition, from the p.r.o.neness of mankind to mortify usurped greatness, when they can securely do it. The man who hissed the poet's play had no idea that he might himself become one of the dramatic personages. Ben then produced his "Poetaster," which has been called the _Dunciad_ of those times; but it is a _Dunciad_ without notes.

The personages themselves are now only known by their general resemblance to nature, with the exception of two characters, those of _Crispinus and Demetrius_.[389]

In "The Poetaster," Ben, with flames too long smothered, burst over the heads of all rivals and detractors. His enemies seem to have been among all cla.s.ses; personages recognised on the scene as soon as viewed; poetical, military, legal, and histrionic. It raised a host in arms. Jonson wrote an apologetical epilogue, breathing a firm spirit, worthy of himself; but its dignity was too haughty to be endured by contemporaries, whom genius must soothe by equality. This apologetical dialogue was never allowed to be repeated; now we may do it with pleasure. Writings, like pictures, require a particular light and distance to be correctly judged and inspected, without any personal inconvenience.

One of the dramatic personages in this epilogue inquires

I never saw the play breed all this tumult.

What was there in it could so deeply offend, And stir so many hornets?

The author replies:

------------I never writ that piece More innocent, or empty of offence; Some salt it had, but neither tooth nor gall.

------------Why, they say you tax'd The law and lawyers, captains, and the players, By their particular names.

------------It is not so: I used no names. My books have still been taught To spare the persons, and to speak the vices.

And he proceeds to tell us, that to obviate this accusation he had placed his scenes in the age of Augustus.

To show that Virgil, Horace, and the rest Of those great master-spirits, did not want Detractors then, or practisers against them: And by this line, although no parallel, I hoped at last they would sit down and blush.

But instead of their "sitting down and blus.h.i.+ng," we find--

That they fly buzzing round about my nostrils; And, like so many screaming gra.s.shoppers Held by the wings, fill every ear with noise.

Names were certainly not necessary to portraits, where every day the originals were standing by their side. This is the studied pleading of a poet, who knows he is concealing the truth.

There is a pa.s.sage in the play itself where Jonson gives the true cause of "the tumult" raised against him. Picturing himself under the character of his favourite Horace, he makes the enemies of Horace thus describe him, still, however, preserving the high tone of poetical superiority.

"Alas, sir, Horace is a mere sponge. Nothing but humours and observations he goes up and down sucking from every society, and when he comes home squeezes himself dry again. He will pen all he knows. He will sooner lose his best friend than his least jest. What he once drops upon paper against a man, lives eternally to upbraid him."

Such is the true picture of a town-wit's life! The age of Augustus was much less present to Jonson than his own; and Ovid, Tibullus, and Horace were not the personages he cared so much about, as "that society in which," it was said, "he went up and down sucking in and squeezing himself dry:" the formal lawyers, who were cold to his genius; the sharking captains, who would not draw to save their own swords, and would cheat "their friend, or their friend's friend,"

while they would bully down Ben's genius; and the little sycophant histrionic, "the twopenny[390] tear-mouth, copper-laced scoundrel, stiff-toe, who used to travel with pumps full of gravel after a blind jade and a hamper, and stalk upon boards and barrel-heads to an old crackt trumpet;" and who all now made a party with some rival of Jonson.

All these personages will account for "the tumult" which excites the innocent astonishment of our author. These only resisted him by "filling every ear with noise." But one of the "screaming gra.s.shoppers held by the wings," boldly turned on the holder with a scorpion's bite; and Decker, who had been lashed in "The Poetaster," produced his "Satiromastix, or the untrussing of the humorous Poet." Decker was a subordinate author, indeed; but, what must have been very galling to Jonson, who was the aggressor, indignation proved such an inspirer, that Decker seemed to have caught some portion of Jonson's own genius, who had the art of making even Decker popular; while he discovered that his own laurel-wreath had been dexterously changed by the "Satiromastix" into a garland of "stinging nettles."

In "The Poetaster," _Crispinus_ is the picture of one of those impertinent fellows who resolve to become poets, having an equal apt.i.tude to become anything that is in fas.h.i.+onable request. When Hermogenes, the finest singer in Rome, refused to sing, _Crispinus_ gladly seizes the occasion, and whispers the lady near him--"Entreat the ladies to entreat me to sing, I beseech you." This character is marked by a ludicrous peculiarity which, turning on an individual characteristic, must have a.s.sisted the audience in the true application. Probably Decker had some remarkable head of hair,[391]

and that his locks hung not like "the curls of Hyperion;" for the jeweller's wife admiring among the company the persons of Ovid, Tibullus, &c., _Crispinus_ acquaints her that they were poets, and, since she admires them, promises to become a poet himself. The simple lady further inquires, "if, when he is a poet, his looks will change?

and particularly if his hair will change, and be like those gentlemen's?" "A man," observes _Crispinus_, "may be a poet, and yet not change his hair." "Well!" exclaims the simple jeweller's wife, "we shall see your cunning; yet if you can change your hair, I pray do it."

In two elaborate scenes, poor Decker stands for a full-length.

Resolved to be a poet, he haunts the company of Horace: he meets him in the street, and discovers all the variety of his nothingness: he is a student, a stoic, an architect: everything by turns, "and nothing long." Horace impatiently attempts to escape from him, but _Crispinus_ foils him at all points. This affectionate admirer is even willing to go over the world with him. He proposes an ingenious project, if Horace will introduce him to Maecenas. _Crispinus_ offers to become "his a.s.sistant," a.s.suring him that "he would be content with the next place, not envying thy reputation with thy patron;"

and he thinks that Horace and himself "would soon lift out of favour Virgil, Varius, and the best of them, and enjoy them wholly to ourselves." The restlessness of Horace to extricate himself from this "Hydra of Discourse," the pa.s.sing friends whom he calls on to a.s.sist him, and the glue-like pertinacity of _Crispinus_, are richly coloured.

A ludicrous and exquisitely satirical scene occurs at the trial of _Crispinus_ and his colleagues. Jonson has here introduced an invention, which a more recent satirist so happily applied to our modern Lexiphanes, Dr. Johnson, for his immeasurable polysyllables.

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