The Brook Kerith Part 15

From Damascus I went into Arabia, and did not go up to Jerusalem for three years to confer with the apostles, nor was there need that I should do so, for had I not received my apostles.h.i.+p by direct revelation? But after three years I went thither, hearing that the persecutions had ceased, and that some of those whom I had persecuted had returned. The brother of Jesus, James, had come down from Galilee and as a holy man was a great power in Jerusalem. His prayers were valued, and his appearance excited pity and belief that G.o.d would hearken to him when he knelt, for he was naked but for a coa.r.s.e cloth hanging from his neck to his ankles. Of water and cleanliness he knew naught, and his beard and hair grew as the weeds grow in the fields.

Peter, too, was in Jerusalem, and come into a great girth since the toil of his craft, as a fisher, had been abandoned, as it had to be, for, as ye know, it is dry desert about Jerusalem, without lakes or streams. But he lived there better than he had ever lived before, by talking of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom it was no longer a danger to talk, for James had made his brother acceptable in Jerusalem by lopping from him all that was Jesus, making him according to his own image; with these Christians he no longer stood up as an opponent of the law, but as one who believed in it, who had said: I come not to abolish the law but to confirm it. So did his brother James interpret Jesus to me who had heard Jesus speak out of the spirit, and when I answered that he had said too that he had come to abolish the law, James answered only that his brother had said many things and that some were not as wise as others.

Peter, who was called upon to testify that Jesus wished the Jews to remain Jews, and that circ.u.mcision and all the observances were needed, answered that he did not know which was the truth, Jesus not having spoken plainly on these matters, and neither one nor the other seemed to understand that it was of no avail that Jesus should have been born, should have died and been raised from the dead by his Father if the law were to prevail unchanged for evermore. To James and to Peter Jesus was a prophet, but no more than the prophets, and unable to understand either Peter or Jesus, I returned to Tarsus broken-hearted, for there did not seem to be on earth a true Christian but myself, and I knew not whom to preach to, Gentiles or Jews. Only of one thing was I sure, that the Lord Jesus Christ had spoken to me out of the clouds and ordained me his apostle, but he had not pointed out the way, and I mourned that I had gone up to Jerusalem, and abode in Tarsus disheartened, resuming my loom, sitting at it from daylight till dark, waiting for some new sign to be given me, for I did not lose hope altogether, but, knowing well that the ways of Providence are not immediate, waited in patience or in such patience as I might possess myself. Barnabas I had forgotten, and he was forgotten when I said that I had met none in Jerusalem that could be said to be a follower of the Master.

It was Barnabas who brought me to James, the brother of the Lord, and to Peter, and told them that though I had persecuted I was now zealous, and had preached in many synagogues that Christ Jesus had died and been raised from the dead. But whether they feared me as a spy, one who would betray them, or whether it was that our minds were divided upon many things, I know not, but Barnabas could not persuade them, and, as I have said, I left Jerusalem and returned to Tarsus, and resumed my trade, until Barnabas, who had been sent to Antioch to meet some disciples, said to them, but there is one at Tarsus who has preached the life and death of our Lord Jesus Christ and brought many to believe in him. So they said to him: go to Tarsus for this man and bring him hither. And when they had seen and conferred with me and knew what sort of man I was, Barnabas said, with your permission and your authority, Paul and I will start together for Cyprus, for that is my country, and my friends there will believe us when we tell them that Jesus was raised from the dead and was seen by many: first by Martha and Mary, the sisters of Lazarus, and afterwards by Peter and by the apostles and many others. As the disciples were willing that we should go to preach the Gospel in Cyprus, we went thither furnished with letters, and received a kindly welcome from everybody, as it had been foretold by Barnabas, and many heard the Gospel, and if my stay among you Essenes could be prolonged beyond this evening and for several days I could tell you stories of a great magician and how he was confuted by me by the grace of G.o.d working through me, but as everything cannot be told in the first telling I will pa.s.s from Cyprus back to Antioch, where we rested awhile, so that we might tell the brethren of the great joy with which the faith had been received in Cyprus, of the churches we founded and our promise to the Cyprians to return to them.

And so joyful were the brethren in Antioch at our success that I said to Barnabas: let us not tarry here, but go on into Galatia. We set out, accompanied by John Mark, Barnabas' cousin, but he left us at Perga, being afraid, and for his lack of courage I was unable to forgive him, thereby estranging myself later on from Barnabas, a G.o.d-fearing man. But to tell you what happened at Lystra. We found the people there ready to listen to the faith, and it was given to me to set a cripple that had never walked in his life straight upon his feet, and as st.u.r.dily as any.

The people cried out at this wonder, the G.o.ds have come down to us, and when the rumour reached the High Priest that the G.o.ds had come to their city, he drove out two oxen, garlanded, and would have sacrificed them in our honour, but we tore our garments, saying, we are men like yourselves and have come to preach that you should turn from vanities and false G.o.ds and wors.h.i.+p the one true living G.o.d, who created the earth, and all the firmament. The people heard us and promised to abjure their idolatries, and would have abjured them for ever if the Jews from the neighbouring cities had not heard of our preaching and had not gathered together and denounced us in Lystra, where there were no Jews, or very few. Nor were they content with denouncing us, but on a convenient occasion dragged Barnabas and myself outside the town, stoned us and left us for dead, for we, knowing that G.o.d required us, feigned death, thereby deceiving them and escaping death we returned to the town by night and left it next day for Derbe.

Now, Essenes, this story that I tell of what happened to us at Lystra has been told with some care by me, for it is significant of what has happened to me for twenty years, since the day, as you have heard, when the Lord Jesus himself spoke to me out of the clouds and appointed me to preach the Gospel he had given unto me, which, upheld by him, I have preached faithfully, followed wherever I went by persecution from Jews determined to undo my work. But undeterred by stones and threats, we returned to Lystra and preached there again, and in Perga and Attalia, from thence we sailed to Antioch, and there were great rejoicings in Saigon Street, as we sat in the doorways telling of the churches that we founded in Galatia, and how we flung open the door of truth to the pagans, and how many had pa.s.sed through.

But some came from Jerusalem preaching that the uncirc.u.mcised could not hope for salvation, and that there could be no conversion unless the law be observed, and the first observance of the law, they said, is circ.u.mcision. We answered them as is our wont that it is no longer by observances of the law but by grace, through our Lord Jesus Christ, that men may be saved; and we being unable to yield to them or they to us, it was resolved that Barnabas and t.i.tus, a Gentile that we brought over to the faith, should go to Jerusalem.

On the way thither we preached that the Saviour promised to the Jews had come, and been raised from the dead, and the Samaritans hearkened and were converted in great numbers, and the news of these conversions preceding us the joy among the brethren was very great, for you, who know the Scriptures, need not be told that the conversion of the Gentiles has been foretold; nor was it till we began to talk about the abrogation of the law that James and the followers of James rose up against us. We wondered, and said to each other: were ever two brothers as unlike as these? Though myself had never seen the Lord in the flesh, I knew of him from Peter, and we whispered together with our eyes fixed on the long, lean man whose knees were reported callous from kneeling in the Temple praying that G.o.d might not yet awhile destroy the world. It was sufficient, so it was said, for him to hold up his hand to perform miracles, and we came to dislike him and to remember that he had always looked upon Jesus our Lord with suspicion during his lifetime. Why then, we asked, should he come into power derived from his brother's glory?

He seemed to be less likely than any other Jew to understand the new truth born into the world. So I turned from him to Peter, in whom I thought to find an advocate, knowing him to be one with us in this, saying that it were vain to ask the Gentiles to accept a yoke which the Hebrews themselves had been unable to bear; but Peter was still the timid man that he had ever been, and myself being of small wit in large and violent a.s.semblies said to him: thou and I and James will consult together in private at the end of this uproar. But James could not come to my reason, saying always that the Gentiles must become Jews before they became Christians; and remembering very well all the trouble and vexation the demand for the circ.u.mcision of t.i.tus had put upon me (to which I consented, for with a Jew I am a Jew so that I may gain them), and how he had submitted himself lest he should be a stumbling-block, I said to Timothy, my own son in the faith, thy mother and grandmother were hearers of the law, and he answered, let me be a Jew externally, and myself took and circ.u.mcised. A good accommodation Peter thought this to be, and I said to Peter, henceforth for thee the circ.u.mcised and for me the uncirc.u.mcised. Against which Peter and James had nothing to say, for it seemed to them that the uncirc.u.mcised were one thing in Jerusalem and another thing beyond Jerusalem. But I was glad thus to come to terms with them, thinking thereby to obtain from them the confirmation of my apostles.h.i.+p, though there was no need for any such, as I have always held, it having teen bestowed upon me by our Lord Jesus Christ himself; and holding it to be of little account that they had known our Lord Jesus in the flesh, I said to their faces, it were better to have known him in the spirit, thereby darkening them. It might have been better to have held back the words.

Myself and Barnabas and t.i.tus returned to Antioch and it was some days after that I said to Barnabas: let us go again into the cities in which we have preached and see if the brethren abide in our teaching and how they do with it. But Barnabas would bring John Mark with him, he who had left us before in Perga from cowardice of soul. Therefore I chose Silas and departed. He was our warrant that we were one with the Church of Jerusalem, which was true inasmuch as we were willing to yield all but essential things so that everybody, Jews and Gentiles, might be brought into communion with Jesus Christ.

We went together to Lystra and Mysia, preaching in all these towns, and the brethren were confirmed in their faith in us, and leaving them we were about to set out for Bithynia and would have gone thither had we not been warned one night by the Holy Breath to go back, and instead we went to Troas, where one night a vision came to me in my sleep: a man stood before me at the foot of my bed, a Macedonian I knew him to be, by his dress and speech, for he spoke not the broken Greek that I speak, but pure Greek, the Greek that Mathias speaks, and he told me that we were to go over into Macedonia.

To tell of all the countries we visited and the towns in which we preached, and the many that were received into the faith, would be a story that would carry us through the night and into the next day, for it would be the story of my life, and every life is long when it is put into words; nor would the story be profitable unto you in any great measure, though it be full of various incidents. But I am behoven to tell that wherever we went the persecution that began in Lystra followed us. As soon as the Jews heard of our conversions they a.s.sembled either to a.s.sault us or to lay complaints before the Roman magistrates, as they did at Philippi, the chief city of Macedonia. Among my miracles was the conversion of a slave, a pythonist, a teller of fortunes, a caster of horoscopes, who brought her master good money by her divinations, and seeing that he would profit thereby no longer, he drew myself and Silas into the market-place and calling for help of others had us brought before the rulers, and the pleading of the man was, and he was supported by others, that we taught many things that it was not lawful of them, being Jews, to hearken to, and the magistrates, wis.h.i.+ng to please the mult.i.tude, commanded us to be beaten, and when many stripes had been laid on us we were cast into prison, and the jailer being charged to keep us in safety thrust our feet into the stocks.

Myself and Silas prayed and sang praises unto G.o.d despite our wounds, and as if in response there was a great earthquake, and the prison was shaken and all the doors opened, on seeing which the keeper of the prison drew his sword and would have fallen upon it, believing that the prisoners had fled, if I had not cried to him in a loud voice: there is no reason to kill thyself, for thy charges are here. What may I do to be saved? he said, being greatly astonished at the miracle, and we answered: believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Thereupon he invited us into his house and set food before us, and he was baptized and bidden to have no fear, for we confided to him that we were Romans, and that the magistrates would tremble when they heard that they had ordered a citizen of Rome to be beaten and him uncondemned. Why, he asked, did ye not declare yourselves to be Romans? Because, we answered, we were minded to suffer for our Lord Jesus Christ's son, at which he wondered and gave thanks. He was baptized by us, and when he had carried the news of their mistake to the ears of the magistrates they sent sergeants saying that we were to be allowed to go. But we refused to leave the prison, saying, we are Romans and have been beaten uncondemned. Let the magistrates come to fetch us. Which message being taken to them they came beseeching us to go, and not to injure them, for they had done wrong unwittingly, and taking pity of them for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ we pa.s.sed into Thessalonica, where I preached in the synagogues for three Sabbaths and reasoned with the Jews, showing them pa.s.sages in the Scriptures confirming all that we said to them about the Christ that had suffered and been raised from the dead. Some believed, and others a.s.saulted the house of Jason, in which we were living, and the Romans were perplexed to know how to keep order, for wherever we went there were stirs and quarrels among the Jews, the fault being with them and not with us. In Corinth too the Jews pleaded against us before the Roman magistrates and----

CHAP. x.x.xV.

A sudden dryness in Paul's throat prevented him from finis.h.i.+ng his sentence, and he asked for a cup of water, and having drained it he put down the cup and said, looking round, I was speaking to you about Corinth. The moment seemed a favourable one to Mathias to ask a question. How was it, he said, that you pa.s.sed on to Corinth without stopping at Athens? I made stay at Athens, Paul answered, and I thank you, Mathias, for having reminded me of Athens, for the current of my discourse had borne me past that city, so eager was I to tell of the persecutions of the Jews. We are all Jews here! I speak only of the Hierosolymites who understand only that the law has been revealed, and we have only to follow it; though, indeed, some of them cannot tell us why we should follow any law, since they do not believe in any life except the sad life we lead on the surface of this earth.

But you asked me, Mathias, about Athens. A city of graven images and statues and altars to G.o.ds. On raising my eyes I always saw their marble deities--effigies, they said, of all the spirits of the earth and sea and the clouds above the earth and the heavens beyond the clouds.

Whereupon I answered that these statues that they had carved with their hands could in no wise resemble any G.o.ds even if the G.o.ds had existence outside of their images, for none sees G.o.d. Moses heard G.o.d on Mount Sinai, but he saw only the hinderparts; which is an allegory, for there are two covenants, and I come to reveal---- Whereat they were much amused and said: if Moses saw the hinderparts why should we not see the faces, for our eyes see beauty, whereas the Hebrews see but the backside? At which I showed no anger, for they were not Jews, but strove, as it is my custom, to be all things to all men. The Jews require a miracle, the Greeks demand reason, and therefore I asked them why they set up altars to the unknowable G.o.d. And they said: Paul, thou readest our language as badly as thou speakest it; we have inscriptions "to unknown G.o.ds" but not to the unknowable G.o.d. Didst go to school at Tarsus, yet canst not tell the plural from the singular? To which I answered: then you are so religious-minded that you would not offend any G.o.d whose name you might not have heard, and so favour him by the inscription to an unknown G.o.d? But some of your philosophers, Athenians, call G.o.d unknowable. I knew this before I learnt how superst.i.tious ye are. Ye are all alike ignorant since G.o.d left you to your sins for your idolatry; G.o.d, unknown or unknowable, has been made manifest to us by our Lord Jesus Christ, who was born like us all for a purpose, his death, which was to save the world from its sins, whereupon, greedy for a story, they began to listen to me, and I had their attention till I came to these words--"And was raised by his Father from the dead." Paul, they answered, we will listen another day to the rest of this story of thy new divinity.

A frivolous people, Mathias, living in a city of statues in the air, and in the streets below a city of men that seek after reason, and would explain all things in the heavens above and the earth beneath by their reason, and only willing to listen to the story of a miracle because miracles amuse them. A race much given to enjoyment, like women, Mathias, and among their mountains they are not a different race from what they are in the city, but given to milking goats and dancing in the shade to the sounds of a pipe, and dreaming over the past glories of Athens, that are dust to-day though yesterday they were realities, a light race that will be soon forgotten, and convinced of their transience I departed for Corinth, a city of fencing masters, merchants, slaves, courtesans, yet a city more willing to hearken to the truth than the light Athenians, perhaps because it has much commerce and is not slothful in business, a city wherein I fortuned upon a pious twain, Aquila and Priscilla, of our faith, and of the same trade as myself, wherefore we set up our looms together in one house and sold the cloths as we weaved them, getting our living thereby and never costing the faithful anything, which was just pride, and mine always, for I have travelled the world over gaining a living with my own hands, never taking money from anybody, though it has been offered to me in plenty by the devout, thinking it better to be under no obligation, for such destroys independence....

Once only was this rule broken by me. In Macedonia, a dyer of purple---- But Lydia's story concerns ye not, therefore I will leave her story untold and return to Corinth, to Priscilla and Aquila, weavers like myself, with whom I worked for eighteen months, and more than that; preaching the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ to all who would hear us when our daily work was done, until the same fate befell us--the intervention of the Jews, who sought to embroil us, as beforetimes, with the Romans.

We preached in the synagogues on the Sabbath and I upheld the faith I had come to preach: that the Messiah promised to the Jews had lived and had died for us. Whereupon there was a great uproar among the Jews, who would not believe, and so I tore my garments and said: then I will go forth to the Gentiles, and find believers in our Lord Jesus Christ, and leave you who were elected by G.o.d as his chosen people, who were his by adoption, a privilege conferred upon you throughout the centuries, the race out of whom came the patriarchs, and Jesus Christ himself in the flesh. I will leave you, for you are not worthy and will perish as all flesh perishes; will drift into nothingness, and be scattered even as the dust of the roads is scattered by the winds. My heart is broken for you, but since ye will it so, let it be so.

So did I speak, but my heart is often tenderer than my words, and I strove again to be reconciled with the Jews, and abode in Corinth proving their folly to them by the Scriptures till again they sought to rid themselves of me by means of the Romans, saying before Gallic: this fellow persuadeth men to wors.h.i.+p G.o.d contrary to the law. But Gallic, understanding fully that his judgment seat had not been set up for the settling of disputes of the spirit, but of the things of this world, drove the Jews out of his court, and there was an uproar and Sosthenes, a G.o.d-fearing man, was beaten. Yet for the sake of the race of the patriarchs, the chosen people of G.o.d, I abode in Corinth till the close of the second year, when news reached me of the many dissensions that had arisen in Jerusalem.

The old questions always stirring: whether the Gentiles should be admitted without circ.u.mcision and if the observances of the law were sufficient; if salvation could be obtained by works without faith, and many other questions that I thought had long been decided; in the hope of putting an end to these discussions, which could only end in schism, I bade the brethren good-bye on the wharf, and, shaving my head as a sign of my vow to keep the Feast of Pentecost, I set sail with Aquila and Priscilla for Syria and left them at Ephesus, though there were many Christians there who prayed me to remain and speak to them; but pointing to my shaved head, I said, my vow! and went down to Jerusalem and kept the Feast of Pentecost and distributed money among the poor, which had been given to me by the churches founded by me in Macedonia, in Greece and Syria.

I hoped to escape from discussion with James, the brother of the Lord, for of what good could it be to discuss once again things on which it is our nature to think differently, but upheld by hope that the Jews might be numbered among the faithful at the last day I told him that the Jews were the root of the olive-trees whose branches had been cut, and had received grafts, but let not the grafts, I said, indulge in vainglory; it is not the branches that bear the root, but the root that bears the branches. And many other things of this sort did I say, wis.h.i.+ng to be in all things conciliatory; to be, as usual, all things to all men; but James, the brother of the Lord, answered that Jesus had not come to abrogate the law but to confirm it, which was not true, for the law stood in no need of confirmation. James could do that as well as his brother and better, and Peter not being there to bear witness of the teaching of Jesus (he too had gone forth upon a mission with John Mark as an interpreter, for Peter cannot speak Greek), Silas, who was with me, was won over by James, and easily, for Silas was originally of the Church of Jerusalem; as I have already told you, he had been sent with us to Antioch.

But I would not weary you with such small matters as Silas' desertion of me to join Peter, who was preaching in Syria, and whose doctrine he said was nearer to Jesus' than mine, it having been given to him by Jesus, whom he had known in the flesh. So be it, I said to Silas, and went without him to Antioch, a city dear to me for that it was there the word Christian was spoken for the first time; my return thither was fortunate, for there I met Barnabas, whom it was pleasant after these many years to meet again, all memory of our dissension was forgotten, which was no great matter, it having arisen out of no deeper cause than my refusal to travel with John Mark, his cousin. t.i.tus was there too, and we had much to tell each other of our travels and the conversions we had made, and all was joy amongst us; and our joy was increased by Peter, who appeared amongst us, bringing Silas with him, who must have been grieved though he said nothing to me of it; but who must have seen that the law to which he was attached was forgotten at Antioch; not by us only, but by his new leader, Peter, who mixed like ourselves with the Gentiles and did not refuse to eat with them.

A moment indeed of great joy this was, but it did not last longer than many other moments of the same kind with which my life has been sprinkled. James, the brother of the Lord, sent up agents to Antioch with letters signed by himself. They had come to tell the people that I had not authority to teach, and could not be considered by anybody as a true apostle, for I had not known the Christ, it was said: and when I answered them that my authority came straight from him, they began to make little of my revelation, saying: even if thou didst hear the Christ on the road to Damascus, as thou sayest, it was but for a few minutes, and he couldn't teach thee all his doctrine in a few minutes. A year or more would be required. Thou wast deceived. No vision can be taken as of equal evidence to the senses. Those that we see in a vision may be but the evil spirits that, if it were possible, would deceive the very elect. If we question an apparition it answers anything that we wish.

The spectre s.h.i.+nes for an instant and disappears quickly before one has time to put further questions; the thoughts of the dreamer are not under his control. To see the Son of G.o.d outside of the natural flesh is impossible. Even an angel wis.h.i.+ng to be seen has to clothe himself in flesh. Nor were they satisfied with such sayings as these, but mentioned the vision of infidels and evil livers, and to support their argument thus quoted Scripture, proving that G.o.d sent visions when he was irritated. As in Numbers, murmured Eleazar. And likewise in Exodus, said Manahem, and he turned over the quires before him. These emissaries and agents asked me how it was that even if Jesus had appeared to me he could not have instructed me wrongly. If I wished to prove the truth of my vision it were better for me to accept the teaching of the apostles, who had received it directly from him; to which I made answer: my revelation was not from Jesus when he lived in the flesh, but from the spiritual Jesus; the spirit descended out of heaven to instruct me, and if G.o.d has created us, which none will deny, he has created our souls wherewith to know him, and he needs not the authority of other apostles who speak as men, falling into the errors that men must fall into when they speak, for every man's truth is made known unto him by G.o.d.

One day we came out of a house heated with argument, and as we loitered by the pavement's edge regretting we had not said certain things whereby we might have confuted each other, we came upon Peter in a public inn, eating and drinking with the uncirc.u.mcised, whereupon the Hierosolymites said we see now what ye are, Peter, a Jew that eats with Gentiles and of unclean meats. Peter did not withstand them and say as he should have done: how is it that you call them that G.o.d has made unclean? but being a timid man and anxious always to avoid schism, he excused himself and withdrew, and was followed by Barnabas and Silas.

It was for this that I withstood him before all in the a.s.sembly, reproaching him for his inconsequences, saying to him: if thou that art a Jew livest according to the manner of Gentiles, how is it that thou wouldst compel the Gentiles to live as the Jews do? and until this man came thou wert one with us, saying as we say, that none is justified by conforming to the law and practising it, but by the faith in Jesus Christ. But if we seek justification in Christ, and in him alone, and yet are found to be sinners, of what help is Christ then to us? Is he a minister of sinners? G.o.d forbid! By his life and death he abolished the law, whereby we might live in faith in Christ, for the law stands between us and Christ. I say unto thee, Peter, that if Christ was crucified for me I live in Christ; no longer my own life of the flesh, but the spiritual life that Christ has given me. I say unto thee likewise, that if we care only to know Christ through the law then Christ has died in vain. To which Peter answered nothing, but went his way, as is his custom, in silence, and my grief was great; for I could see that the many were shocked, and wondered at our violence, and could not have said else than that we were divided among ourselves, though they said it under their breath. Nor did peace come till the emissaries of James left us to go to the churches I had founded in Galatia and undo the work I had done there. Whereupon I collected all my thoughts for an epistle that would comfort those, and enable them to resist, saying: though an angel from heaven tell you a different doctrine from the one that I have taught you, listen not to him. Copies of this letter were sent to the churches that I had founded, but the sending of the letter did not calm my anger. An angry soul I have been since G.o.d first separated me from my mother's womb, gaining something on one side and losing on the other side; but we make not ourselves; G.o.d makes us. And there is a jealousy still within me; I know it and have suffered from it, and never did it cause me greater suffering than in those days in Antioch. My jealousy was like a hungry animal, gnawing at my ribs till, unable to bear it any longer, and seeing in visions all that I had raised pulled down, I started with t.i.tus and travelled all over Galatia and Phrygia to Bithynia, along the sh.o.r.es of Pontus, and returned back again, informing the kindly, docile souls, who loved us in their weakness, of Lystra, Derbe and other towns, setting up my loom and preaching every evening the coming of the Lord, whither I went in Macedonia, Thessalonica, Iconium, Laodicea, not forgetful of Colossae for two years or more (I have forgotten), and then hearing that Apollos, an Alexandrian Jew of great learning, our most notable convert, of whom I have not spoken, for there is no time to speak of everything, had taken s.h.i.+p at Corinth for Ephesus, I returned the way I had come along the coast to meet him there, likewise many good friends, Aquila and Priscilla, who were working at their looms, gathering a faithful circle about them. We set up shop again as we had done at Corinth, Aquila, Priscilla and myself worked at our looms all day, and preached in the evening in and about the city, and on the Sabbath in the synagogue.

CHAP. x.x.xVI.

In Ephesus stands a temple said to be one of the wonders of the world, the Temple of Diana; pilgrims come to it from all countries, and buy statues of the G.o.ddess to set upon their tables (little silver statues), and as the making of these is the princ.i.p.al industry in that city, the silversmiths raised cries against me in the theatre, where once I stood up to address the people. Great is Diana, G.o.ddess of the Ephesians! they cried out, and would have thrown me to the beasts. Yea, I fought with the beasts, for they were nothing else, and had not Aquila and Priscilla risked their lives to save me I should have perished that day. That day or another day; it matters not; we all perish sooner or later. My life has never been my concern, but G.o.d's, a thing upheld by G.o.d for so many years that I shun danger no longer. It has even come to pa.s.s that I am lonely in security, withdrawn from G.o.d in houses, and safe in his arms when clinging to a spar in the dark sea. G.o.d and our Lord Jesus Christ, his beloved son, have walked on either side of me in mountain pa.s.ses where robbers lie in wait. We are nearer to G.o.d in hunger and thirst than when the mouth is full. In fatigue rather than in rest, and to know oneself to be G.o.d's servant is good cheer for the traveller, better than the lights of the inn showing over the horizon, for false brethren may await him in the inn, some that will hale him before rulers, but if he knows that he is G.o.d's servant he will be secure in his own heart, where alone security matters.

It may have been my sin to weary too often at the length of the journey, and to cry out to the Lord Jesus to make an end of it. It may have been that I was often too eager to meet my death and to receive the reward of all my labour, but who shall judge me? Our Lord Jesus Christ is the only judge and his reign shall endure over this world till the last man has vanished into death. And when the last man has perished? Mathias asked.

Paul answered: Jesus shall pa.s.s into his Father's keeping and again there shall be but one G.o.d. But, Paul, Mathias rejoined, if I understand thee rightly, there are now two G.o.ds, and our hope is that in time to come the twain may turn to one. Paul was about to answer, but his lips were parched, and he raised the cup of water to his lips, and when he had drunk he was about to answer Mathias, but Hazael said: Mathias, we are all eager to hear the story of Paul's own life. There will be time afterwards to discuss his doctrine. Mathias waved his hand, a sign that Paul might continue his story, which he did.

From Ephesus we returned to Corinth and to Macedonia, and dreams began to take hold on us of longer journeys than any we had yet undertaken; we dreamed of Rome, and then of Spain, for all should hear the joyful tidings that there is salvation for all, and we live in dread that the judgment may come upon the world before the distant countries have heard that the Christ has been born and has died and been raised by his Father from the dead, thereby abolis.h.i.+ng the law, which was no longer needed, faith in Christ being sufficient. But if the judgment comes before all men have heard of the Christ, then is G.o.d unjust. G.o.d forbid: our sloth and tardy feet are responsible. Our fear is for the Jews that have closed their ears to the truth, and, therefore, we were warned not to leave Palestine without a last effort to save them. Once more my soul said unto me: Paul, go to Jerusalem, for the last time enter the Temple and comply with all the law, for these things matter not whether they be done or left undone; all that matters is that Jerusalem should accept Jesus. Be all things, once more, to all men. And it was after this command, given to me in the silence of the night, that I took leave of the brethren at Ephesus, saying to them: brethren, you knew from the first day that I came unto Asia what manner of man had come among you, directing you only towards repentance towards G.o.d, and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. I would indeed remember all I said on that occasion, for I spoke well, the Holy Ghost being upon me, putting the very words of the leave-taking into my mouth that I should speak, words which I cannot find again, but which were written by me afterwards, as I wished them to be preserved for the use of the faithful. They shall be sent to you. But in this moment I'm too tired to remember them, and will continue my story, telling how when the sails of the s.h.i.+p were lifted we came with a straight course unto Coos, and the day following unto Rhodes, and thence Patara, and finding a s.h.i.+p about to start for Phoenicia, we went aboard and set forth again. We left Cyprus on the left, and were landed at Tyre, where there were many disciples who said to me that I must not go to Jerusalem. We kneeled on the sh.o.r.e and prayed; and when we had taken leave of one another, and I had said: my face you shall see no more, we took s.h.i.+p, and they returned home.

Next day we were at Caesarea and went to the house of Philip the Apostle (him of many daughters, and all prophetesses), and lived with him, tarrying till there came from Judea Agabus, who, when he saw me, took my girdle and bound his own hands and feet, and said: so at Jerusalem shall the Jews bind him that owns this girdle, and they shall deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles. At which all my disciples there wept, and I said: why do ye weep? for your weeping breaks my heart. Think not of what this man has said, even if he has spoken the truth, for I am ready to die for the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. I comforted them and went up to Jerusalem, and was received by the brethren. James and all the elders were present, and after having heard from me how widely the name of our Lord Jesus Christ had been made known to the Gentiles and to the Jews that lived among the Gentiles, they answered: brother, there are a great many believers among the Jews, and all here are ardent followers of the law, and these have heard that thou teachest to the Jews in exile that Moses may be forsaken, and that they need not circ.u.mcise their children and may set aside our customs. Now, Paul, they asked, what favour dost thou expect from us if these things be as they have been reported to us? And being sure within myself that it was not counsel they sought from me, but words out of my own mouth whereby they might stir up the people against me, I answered only: upon whose testimony do ye say these things? There are, they said, four holy men, who are under a vow; go with them and purify thyself and pay the money they need for the shaving of their heads and all other expenses. Whereupon I was much angered, seeing the snare that they were laying for me, but, as I have told you, my rule is always to be all things to all men, and remembering that though Jesus Christ our Lord has set us free from the law, it would be better to forgo this liberty than to scandalise a brother, I said: I will do, brethren, as you ask, and went with the four poor men to the Temple and remained there with them for five days, abstaining from wine, and cutting off--well, there was little hair for me to cut off, but what there was I cut off.

All went well during the first days, but the emissaries and agents of James, seeing that my devotion in the Temple might win over the Jews to me, laid another snare, and I was accused of having held converse with Trophimus, an uncirc.u.mcised Greek, in the street the day of my arrival in Jerusalem, and this not being a sufficient offence to justify them in stoning me as they had stoned Stephen before my eyes, it was said that I had brought him into the Temple, and the agents of the priests came on the fifth day to drag me out and kill me in some convenient byway, the sacristans closing the doors of the Temple behind me. We will make an end of this mischief, the hirelings said, and began to look around for stones wherewith to spatter out my brains; they cast off their garments and threw dust into the air, and I should have met my death if the noise had been any less, but it was even greater than the day Stephen died, and the Roman guard came upon the people and drew me out of their hands, saying: what is the meaning of this? The Jews could not tell them so great was their anger.

We'll take him to the castle, the centurion said, and the crowd followed, pressing upon us and casting stones at me till the soldiers had perforce to draw their swords so as to get me to the castle alive.

We were thrown hither and thither, and the violence of the crowd at the foot of the stairs and the pressure obliged the soldiers to carry me up the steps in their arms. So I turned to the Chief Captain, who was trying in vain to calm the rioters, and said to him in Greek: may I speak to them? So thou canst speak Greek? he answered, surprised, and gave me leave to speak, and I said: Hebrews, listen to a Hebrew like yourselves, and I told of the vision on the road to Damascus, to which they listened, but as soon as the tale was over they cried: remove him from this world, he is not fit to live. At these words the centurion, who was anxious to appease the people, signed to his apparitors to seize me, and before I had time to make myself heard these strapped me to the whipping-post, my hands above me. But is it lawful to scourge a Roman and he uncondemned? I said to the centurion next to me. Whereupon the lictors withdrew and the centurion turned to the Chief Captain, who looked me up and down, for, as you see, my appearance did not command respect. Is it true that thou'rt a Roman citizen? he asked, and I answered, yes, and he was astonished, for he had paid a great deal of money for the t.i.tle. But I was born free, I answered him, confusing and perplexing him and putting a great fear in his heart that belike his office might be taken from him for having tied a Roman citizen to the whipping-post, merely that and nothing more.

It was to gain my favour that he promised to summon a council (the Sanhedrin), and on the day appointed, ordering my chains to be unlocked, introduced me to the Jews as a free man, saying he would remain to hear the discussion. Brothers, I have lived till to-day in good conscience before G.o.d. On that the High Priest ordered those that stood by him to strike me on the face. G.o.d shall strike thee, thou whited wall, I answered him, for thou sittest to judge me according to the law, and breaking the law thou orderest me to be struck. Those that were present said: so that is how thou revilest the High Priest. I did not know he was the High Priest, I answered: if I had I should not have spoken as I spoke, for is it not written, thou must not insult the chief of thy people?

As I spoke these words, I saw that the a.s.sembly was divided into two parts, that each part was inspired by different ideas, and that one part, the Sadducees, were determined upon my death. Therefore my words were, brothers, I am a Pharisee and the son of a Pharisee, do you know of what they accuse me? Of saying that the dead will be raised out of their graves for judgment, a thing which you all believe. So did I divide my enemies, persuading the Pharisees thereby to defend me, and they, believing the story I told of my vision on the road to Damascus, said: let us hear nothing against him, a spirit or angel may have spoken to him. But the Sadducees were the stronger party, and dividing the Pharisees with their arms many rushed to kill me, and they would have done this if the Captain of the Guard had not sent soldiers to my a.s.sistance, who with difficulty rescued me from the Jews and brought me back to the castle.

I was sorry for the Captain of the Guard, who came to me and said: I know not how this will end or what to do with thee, and I answered him: there are knots in every business, and the clever man unties them, and thou'lt find a way of untying this knot in thy sleep to-night.... And I likewise, which was true, for a vision came to me that night, Jesus himself, and he said: thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem and thou shalt testify of me in Rome, and Jesus having said this much, I knew that I should go to Rome, how I should go I knew not, but I knew that I should go and had no fear when my sister's son, my nephew, came to me next day and said: forty of the Jews have banded together to kill thee, Uncle, and this is how they will do it. They will present a pet.i.tion to the Chief Captain to have thee down among the council again so that they may question thee regarding some points of the law which they affirm thou hast transgressed. Thou must not go down to them, Uncle, for they have knives concealed under their cloaks, and are upon oath neither to eat nor to drink until they have killed thee.

So they are base enough for this, I answered, but I'll outwit them, and calling to the centurion said: take this young man to the Chief Captain of the Guard; he has matter to relate which the Chief Captain should hear at once, and when he had told the plot Chief Captain Lysias said: they have sworn in vain. Thou shalt go with me to Caesarea and under a strong guard, two hundred soldiers, seventy hors.e.m.e.n, and two hundred spearmen; these will be able to resist any attack that the Jews may attempt even should they hear of thy departure. At nine o'clock to-night I shall put into thy hand a letter to Felix, the Governor, telling him that I know nothing against thee that merits death or prison. The orders of the Captain of the Guard were carried out punctually; we marched all night, arriving at Antipatris in the morning, which is about half-way between Jerusalem and Caesarea, and all danger of surprise being now over the escort divided, the four hundred men returning to Jerusalem, myself going on to Caesarea with the hors.e.m.e.n, to be judged by Felix, who said: I shall sit in judgment as soon as thy accusers arrive from Jerusalem.

And it was five days afterwards that my accusers began to come into Caesarea, Ananias arriving first with some of the elders and with one named Tertullus, who began his speech against me with many coaxings of the Governor, saying that it was through him that Palestine enjoyed its great peace and prosperity and for these gifts he was truly thankful, and though he feared he might prove tedious, still he would hope that Felix in his great clemency might allow him to say a few further words about a pestilential fellow, an agent of sedition among the Jews throughout the world, and a ringleader of the sect known as the Nazarenes: one who came to Jerusalem but to profane the Temple, and wis.h.i.+ng, he said, to judge him for his blasphemy according to our law, we laid hands upon him, but the Captain, Lysias, came upon us and with great violence took him out of our hands, and after hearing him disputing with us in the council said, I find no fault with him but will send him to the n.o.ble Felix. And you, most n.o.ble Felix, have sent for us, and we have come, and feel right well that we have not come in vain, for your knowledge and your justice are known in all the world. He said these things and many more of this sort till he feared that his first words were coming true and that he was beginning to weary Felix, which was the truth, for Felix raised his hand for me to speak, whereupon without cozenage and without preamble I told Felix that I had gone to Jerusalem with alms collected from all parts of the world for the poor and also for wors.h.i.+p in the Temple. Why then, if I am the pestilential fellow that Tertullus says I am, is it that the Jews allowed me the Temple to abide therein for five days and that they have not brought witnesses to testify that they found me disputing therein or stirring the people to riot in the synagogue and in the city. And I see none here to bear witness that I do not believe in all that is written in the law and in the prophets; only that I believe with a great part of the citizens of Jerusalem that the dead will be raised from their graves for judgment at the last day. If I am guilty of heresy so are many others here. But you Essenes do not hold with the Pharisees, that the corruptible body is raised from the dead, you believe that the soul only is immortal; I believe that there is a spiritual body also which is raised; and Paul turned his searching eyes on Mathias, in whose mind an answer began to form, but before he had time to speak it the brethren began to evince a desire that Paul should continue his story.

Felix after hearing me bade the Jews return to Jerusalem. I will deliver no sentence until I have conferred with Lysias, he said. The Jews returned discomfited, and Felix said to my jailer, let him be relieved of his chains and be free to see his friends and disciples and to preach what he pleases. Nor was this all: Felix came with his wife, Drusilla, who was a Jewess, and she heard me tell Felix that there would be a judgment, and he answered: speak to me again of this, and they came to me many times to hear of the judgment, and to hint at a sum of money which would be easy for me to collect; my disciples would pay for my liberty and the money would enable him to risk the anger of the Jews, who, he said, desired my death most savagely.

But I was of no mind to ask my disciples to pay for my release; and then Felix, desirous of obtaining the good will of the Jews, put chains upon me again, and so left me for two years, till Festus was appointed in his place.

It was three days after Festus had disembarked at Caesarea that he went up to Jerusalem, and no sooner had he arrived there than the High Priest asked for audience and besought him to send for Paul that he might be judged in Jerusalem; the intention of the High Priest being that I should be waylaid and killed by a highwayman among the hills. But Festus thought it was unnecessary to bring me to Jerusalem, for he was about to return to Caesarea. Come, he said, with me, and accuse this man, and they agreed. And it was ten days afterwards that Festus returned to Caesarea and commanded me to be brought before his judgment seat. The Jews that had come with him sat about, and with many voices complained against me of blasphemy, but their accusations were vain, for I answered: I have not offended against the law of the Jews nor against Caesar, and they answered, so thou sayest, but wilt thou come to Jerusalem to be judged by us? and Festus, who now only thought to avoid trouble and riot, said to me, will you go to Jerusalem that I may hear you?

But, Lord Festus, I answered, you can hear me here as well as in Jerusalem, and these men desire but my death and ask that I shall be brought to Jerusalem to kill me secretly, therefore I appeal to Caesar.

Whereupon Festus answered that he had no fault to find with me, but since I had appealed to Caesar I must go by the next s.h.i.+p, and as there would be none for some weeks Festus, who had said to King Agrippa and Berenice, when they came to pay a visit to the new governor, and, being Jews, were curious about my gospel, I find no fault with this man and would have set him at liberty, but he has appealed to Caesar and by the next s.h.i.+p he goes to Rome, permitted me my liberty to go whither I pleased and to preach as I pleased in the city and beyond the city if I pleased. Whereupon I notified to Festus I would go to Jericho, a two days' journey from Caesarea, and he said, go, and in three weeks a s.h.i.+p will be here to take thee to Rome. But he said: if the Jews should hear of thee thou'lt lose thy life, and he offered me a guard, which I refused as useless, knowing well that I should not meet my death at Jericho. Why cherish a love for them that hate thee? he said, and I answered: they are my own people, and my heart was filled again with the memory of the elect race that had given birth to the prophets. Shall these go down dead into their graves never to rise again, G.o.d's chosen people? I asked myself, and set out with Timothy, my son in the faith, for Jericho, a city I had never seen nor yet the banks of Jordan down which Jesus went for John's baptism. But for these things I had little thought or care, but was as if propelled by some force that I could not understand nor withstand; and a mult.i.tude collected and hearkened to the story of my conversion on the road to Damascus, but discontent broke out among them when I said that Jesus had come neither to confirm nor to abolish the law, that the law was well while we were children but now we could only enter into eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ our Lord.

The rest of my story you know: how we fled into the hills for our lives'

sake, and how Timothy in the dark of the evening kept to the left whereas I came round the shoulder of the hill and was upheld in the path by G.o.d, who has still need of me. His ways are inscrutable, for, wis.h.i.+ng to bring me to you, he sent me to preach in Jordan and urged the Jews to threaten me and pursue me into the hills, for he wished you holy men who live upon this ridge of rock in piety, in humility, in content, in peace one with the other, fearing G.o.d always, to hear of Jesus and his resurrection from the dead and the meaning thereof, which is that Christ came to redeem us from the bondage of the law and that sense of sin which the law reveals unceasingly and which terrifies and comes between us and love of Jesus Christ, who will (at the sound of the last trump) raise the incorruptible out of the corruptible. Even as the sown grain is raised out of its rotten grave to nourish and rejoice again at the light, so will ye nourish again in the fields of heaven, never again to sink into old age and death if you have faith in Christ, for you have all else, fear of G.o.d, and charity, piety and humility, brotherly love, peace and content in the work that the day brings to your hands and the pillow that the night brings to your head for reward for the work done.

G.o.d that knows all knew you were waiting on this margin of rock for the joyful tidings, and he sent me as a shepherd might send his servant out to call in the flock at the close of day, for in his justice he would not have it that ten just men should perish. He sent me to you with a double purpose, methinks, for he may have designed you to come to my aid, for it would be like him that has had in his heart since all time my great mission to Italy and Spain, to have conceived this way to provide me with new feet to carry the joyful tidings to the ends of the earth; and now I stand amazed, it being clear to me that it was not for the Jews of Jericho that I was sent out from Caesarea but for you.