Highland Menage: A Perfect Wife Part 7

Chapter Nine.

"I am glad to have a day of rain to sit and mend." Bessie sighed in contentment. "'Tis so peaceful here in yer solar. Ye can barely hear the noise of the bailey."

"'Tis glad I am to sit!" Kiera settled on her padded chair and picked up Malcolm's old s.h.i.+rt. "I'm wondering if 'twould be best to turn this to another use." She held up the threadbare garment. "If Malcolm stretched his muscles 'twill rip apart."

"Yer men have put on muscle."

"Aye, they had little food at Duncladach." She thought of her rear and frowned. "I've put on weight as well."

"Aye, I heard Master Duff say so to the laird." Bessie dimpled. "He says all the stairs are putting an extra curve to yer a.r.s.e, though he misses the jiggles."

"Well, there's enough jiggling here to make them happy." Kiera lifted her growing b.r.e.a.s.t.s, making Bessie smile. "'Twas such a surprise to see you here, Bessie. I never kenned you'd leave your home." Kiera paused. "I expect since you've never married or had a babe 'twas easier to leave?"

"I left my home as a wee la.s.sie with my mam when Lady Elizabeth Stewart married yer father." Bessie peered closely at the cloth in her hand. "Mam taught me, so I was often with Lady Elizabeth. After she died...well, yer father was lonely, and I was there..."

Kiera's jaw dropped. When her mother died she'd been so tied up in her own grief and busy with taking over the household that she'd not noticed much beyond her own work. Bessie ducked her red face.

"The laird kenned 'twas best I leave with ye. He had Lady Silean..." She cleared her throat. "Please, my lady, dinna send me away."

"Send you away for comforting my father? Never." She patted the older woman's hand. "You kenned me when I was a la.s.s. You're the only one I trust to speak your mind."

Bessie's breath shuddered when she exhaled. She wiped the corners of her eyes with her knuckles. "Thank ye, my lady. I was feared of keeping it from ye, and of telling ye."

They worked for a while. Kiera thought back of what she knew of the woman.

"You never found yourself a husband, nor did you have bairns."

"The laird was so much a man I wouldn't settle for less."

"So when he asked you-"

"Nay, la.s.s. I asked if he wished some comfort. He needed to be held. He, ah, couldna..." She cleared her throat. "Nay with me. Mayhaps there were others after." She flapped her hand, blus.h.i.+ng furiously. "I may be the only grown virgin at Kinrowan."

"Mayhaps there's others, just as choosey. You are a prize for the right man, Bessie, if ye wish one. 'Tisna sommat to be ashamed of." Kiera went back to her work. If she was killed and her husbands were distraught, she would want them to have someone to hold in the night. "I'm glad my father had comfort, no matter what kind."

"He ne'er wished for another while yer mother was alive, though he did look. I've told a good number to cover what might fall out when they bend over!" Bessie, chuckling, looked up from her needlework. "And I've told a few here the same about yer MacDougals. When Malcolm got to Castle Leod he said little and, though he looked, he kept his hands to hisself. Duff, now, he would smile and wink, and still does, but 'tis for flirting, not for wanting." She leaned forward. "Both of them want only ye, my lady. All ken it." She sniffed in disgust. "Some willna choose to believe it and will get their faces slapped!"

"Bessie! Malcolm and Duff would never slap a woman!"

"Nay, la.s.s, but Mistress Hetty, Cook, and I would!" Bessie gave an abrupt nod in emphasis. "'Twould be an insult to ye, my lady, and to all the female servants. If one tried to seduce yer men she'd be lucky not to be sent down to the village." Another nod. "Not that yer men would give in. As I told ye, they want ye, and none other."

Her outrage changed to a look that made Kiera squirm.

"I've heard some of what goes on in here, my lady. Or comes off," she added with a smirk. "They wish to command ye, aye? Have ye on yer knees afore yer laird husband?"

A rush of heat flooded Kiera. "Bessie!"

"'Tis why I willna settle for a weak man." She fanned her face with her mending. "Somethin' about a man with fire in his eyes makes this old la.s.s's heart flutter." She dropped her voice. "Her heart, and other parts, not that I ken what it feels like."

Kiera squirmed on her stool, trying to hide her reaction to what they'd recently done. She gave up. "Aye. And when there's two of them!" She fanned herself, making Bessie chuckle. "Are there any you fancy here at Kinrowan?"

This time it was Bessie who squirmed.

"Aye," she whispered. "But he willna wish such as me."

Kiera thought of the senior men. Fergus, the steward training Duff, was too old. Todd, the marshall in charge of anything to do with horses or moving things, was too shy. There was one man who was often with Malcolm. The keeper was in charge of security for the castle and all about. He was a soldier, an older man who was scarred though his back was straight, his eyes keen, and his demeanor commanding. Like many old soldiers, he'd never married.

"Ramsay, the keeper?"

Bessie blushed like a fourteen-year-old wis.h.i.+ng for her first kiss. "He looks so strong he could pick me up in one arm though I be padded like full saddlebags on my a.r.s.e."

"Pick you up, toss you over his shoulder, and swat those saddlebags to make you kick and squeal," replied Kiera.

"Aye. As the laird and Master Duff have done more than once to ye." She sighed. "But he'll not see me. I'm inside with ye and he's out with yer men."

Kiera groaned at the reminder. "I canna wait until St. Michaelmas when we'll all be outside. I'm praying for good weather. We'll find a way to get the two of you together."

"He mayn't want a thing to do with me. A keeper is a very important man."

"And so is the lady's maid to the laird's wife. He might think you are too high for him."

Bessie grumbled to herself for a few minutes. "Mayhaps he doesna wish a wife. He has enough family in Kinrowan that if he'd wanted one, he could've found one."

"And mayhaps he kens his family too well. He might wish for a wife who sees him for who he is now and not the lad he used to be."

"Aye, there is that." Bessie perked up, humming as she worked.

Kiera decided to talk to Duff to see if Ramsay was interested in a wife. And if so, if he'd even seen Bessie. She'd let on how Bessie was shy. That would no doubt surprise Duff as Bessie had no problem telling the men off to protect her chick. And that got her thinking on something she'd wanted to ask.

"My father said he trained my mother, making her a perfect wife. I wish to be that to Malcolm and Duff."

Bessie c.o.c.ked her head to the side. All traces of the shy virgin were gone. "A perfect wife? And what is that?"

"A woman who puts the needs of her husband and her clan first. She is always ready to do what he wishes." She stopped to think. "No, she does what he wishes afore he thinks of it. And a perfect wife is always pleasant and sweet, eager for the bedchamber."

Bessie snorted like a horse. "From the sounds I hear coming out of yon chamber ye have no problem with that."

Kiera's face heated. "'Tis the main reason of wanting a husband, aye?"

"Or two," added Bessie.

"My father said my mother was perfect. He loved her very much and didn't hide it. I would like my husbands to love me, so I have to be perfect, too."

Bessie set down her mending. "Have ye asked the laird and his brother how they wish their wife to be?"

She shook her head. "Their mother died when they were young. They had a stepmother for a few years, one who was kind to them, but she died as well." She grimaced. "But they rode with my father for ten days and he told them all about my mother, and Silean. I overheard Duff saying my father believed Elizabeth was the perfect wife for a young laird, and Silean for an older one."

"'Tis impossible to be perfect," said Bessie. "I watched ye grow, la.s.s. Ye are nay the type to hold back yer voice or yer temper."

"My mother did."

"She was loud when she wished. And yer father liked it."

"But he said he tamed her to suit himself!"

Bessie choked. Kiera was concerned until she realized the older woman was holding back chuckles.

"What?"

"Aye, yer father said he tamed Elizabeth. And she let him think it."

"What do you mean?"

"Men need their pride more than women do. And because they control our lives, women must do what they can to train their husbands. 'Tisn't wrong to guide a man with love and caring so it benefits the family, and the clan." Bessie's eyes twinkled. "My own mam told me what yer father was like when he married Lady Elizabeth. 'Twas a lot like how Laird Malcolm is outside yer chamber. And maybe inside as well."

"My father spent a fortnight teaching my husband how to be like him," she said, grumbling. "I think Malcolm wants to control me, and that far more than my father ever did."

"The laird let ye be far freer than any, so any husband would want a stronger hand on ye. But Lady Elizabeth and yer father oft b.u.t.ted heads. Lady Elizabeth had much schooling and so helped the laird. Yer father canna sign his name but with an X. 'Tis one reason why he let ye learn from that tutor."

Kiera shrank from the memory of the man. She'd learned a lot, but there was a price. Her back bore the memory if not the marks.

"How can I learn to train my husbands?"

"Ye can ask me to guide ye, as my mam did yers." The older woman dimpled. "Lady Elizabeth was not a match yer father wished, ye ken."

That caught Kiera by surprise. "He didna ask for yer?"

"Afore he married her, he said she was a shrew what needed taming. Lady Elizabeth said she wouldna be tamed. My man told her the taming of a shrew, or the training of a husband, can be the same thing. It wouldna matter who thinks they won as long as my lady got what she wished, and that was a caring husband."

"How?"

"As the man learns to behave in a way that suits his wife, she rewards him. Yer mother would smile sweetly and mayhaps reward him in their chamber. He thought 'twas his doing, and Lady Elizabeth let him."

Kiera thought it over. She'd been quite the shrew after her disastrous wedding to Bertie and quick widowhood. She'd had nothing to do, and her plans to move to Kinrowan had been destroyed. When her mother died of a fever she'd had to take over. The duties kept her mind and body active. She'd been happy until her father remarried Silean. The thought of years and years of being no one but the unmarried daughter, and doing nothing but spinning and weaving, had driven her to bitterness. That was gone.

"A woman content with her life has no need to be shrill and bitter."

"Aye." Bessie shook her finger in warning. "Each of ye must learn how to work with the others. What do yer men need to learn?"

Kiera thought for a while as they sewed.

"Malcolm thinks he must prove himself as laird. Part of that is having an obedient wife. Duff needs to take responsibility for his actions. He must be ready to step into his brother's place should something happen to Malcolm. It bothers both of them that they've not been trained, nor even exposed to something as grand as Kinrowan."

"Aye, and like yer mother, ye've got far more schooling. Bein' men they must prove they're even better than ye. The hardest for them is believin' in themselves."

"So must I pretend I know little and let them make mistakes?"

"Mayhaps. As Malcolm is Laird Kinrowan he must be seen to win all his battles."

Kiera curled her lip. "With me, you mean."

"Aye."

"They said I can speak freely in our chamber and if we are alone."

"There is speakin' freely, and there is speakin' wise, la.s.s. If ye are fashed ye willna be thinkin'. First, ye must learn to think afore ye speak."

She'd been told that all her life. So far she'd been unable to do so. Or perhaps she just didn't have a good enough reason.

"'Tis not something that comes naturally." She stabbed her needle through a thick, well-patched section.

"All being well, ye'll be married to them 'til ye die. If ye are lucky 'twill be a long, fruitful life. Ye didna have a good reason to change afore. Now ye have two." She patted Kiera's still-flat belly. "And more each year."

"I dinna wish to fight."

Bessie raised her eyebrows.

"I wish to fight with words, but show respect."

"To get respect ye must give it. Ye didna see yer laird when he got back to Castle Leod with yer father. He looked around, eager for ye. He was hurt, perhaps even felt ashamed, when ye weren't there to greet him."

Kiera's lungs collapsed. She crumpled, fighting tears. Bessie held up her hand.

"Yer father sent word the day afore. That dragon aunt of Silean's made sure ye dinna ken it."

"I told them what happened."

"Aye, but he may still feel shamed."

Kiera rubbed her forehead. "'Twas wonderful with just Duff."

"Aye, ye had none else to fight with and no duties other than those ye wished to do. Ye need to find that same feeling while living yer true life."

"So what do I do?"

"First ye admit ye willna be the pouting, whining la.s.sie wis.h.i.+ng attention."

It was true she'd once acted that way, but it still hurt to hear it.

"Yer husbands need a strong wife of courage, but they dinna ken it. They've not had a wife, nor a mam, nor much else. So ye must train them while they think they are doin' the trainin'."