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Matthew and I helped her out of town, beyond the gates.
We sent her to the home of Talus where Luke cares for the sick.
I returned to Clibus' library but I was too disturbed to read. While I sat there, the Sayings of Moses spread before me, Affti, Clibus' Egyptian wife, brought a pillow and sat by me. She is as beautiful as Miriam; to have her there was a comfort but her words were not comforting:
"It isn't safe for you to preach in Jerusalem... Your faith is for the little towns and villages where the Romans have less influence or none at all...
"When James was here a month or so ago he mentioned going to Rome. Do you wish him to preach your gospel there?"
She went on to urge me to send apostles to Egypt.
"There are more than seventy of you now... I hope you can send two or more to my country...to preach in the villages...you are needed there."
That evening, after dinner, she rapped on my door: she is very tall, very elegant; dressed in an Egyptian gown, she made a little bow, and presented me with a bronze stylus.
"It will be better than your wooden one," she said.
While enjoying my stylus someone brought me a dish of lemon paste.
Sadly, more than twenty years have pa.s.sed since our Nazareth synagogue acquired a scroll. Our scrolls are in tatters and all are asked to refrain from using them.
Learning this, Clibus has offered several scrolls.
"I'll send two of my men...one to carry the scrolls, the other to see that the first man doesn't wander off."
Perhaps little Nazareth may have a worthwhile collection someday.
Jerusalem
Adar 20
My enemies come closer.
Verily, I say unto you, the man who climbs the sheepfold wall is a thief. He who enters by the gate is the shepherd. To him the porter opens and the sheep hear his voice and he calls his sheep by name and leads them...
My parable is realistic but people do not listen. They push one another, talk.
When I encountered a blind man, a man who had never seen during his lifetime, I sent him to the Siloam pool.
He bathed there and at my touch his sight became normal.
He stumbled, fell, rushed about, shouted. Trembling he raced for home. He brought friends and there was great rejoicing. Then, stunning everyone, authorities questioned me rudely. Because he defended me and called me his healer he was put in jail.
I had to go before the local magistrate, affirm his honesty; then he was freed. I said to the magistrate:
"I came into this world to help men see..."
Last week I cured lepers on the Jericho road, men and women, all in rags. All were afraid of me, afraid of themselves. I thought I could change their minds but their minds were in tatters like their clothes. One man thanked me, a young man from Tyre; the others, quarrelling, pus.h.i.+ng one another, tearing at their rags, left the road to crawl into a cave.
I asked the man from Tyre what he knew about the others but he could not concentrate on what I said: he was so moved, so pleased, so enraptured over his health he stood in front of me, smiling, laughing. He kept holding up his arms and hands-showing me. I asked him about people I knew in Tyre. He shook his head, laughed, kissed my hands, rushed off. A caravan was pa.s.sing, camels, drivers, onlookers; he disappeared among the camels, the dust.
Jerusalem
Adar 25
Today I received a message: the mebakker at Qumran has invited me to return to the monastery for a second residency. He wants me to instruct others in the Messianic Rule.
I am no longer in accord with Qumran's rigid communal life: such sharing would be difficult for me; certainly none of my disciples would understand.
But I think of the Qumran desert; I think of the cliffs and caves near the monastery. Morning and evening shadows! What great fogs used to engulf us!
Urusalim
Adar 28
I spoke outside the temple and, as I spoke, men and boys picked up stones to throw at me.
Sadducees want me excluded from the temple; others want me excommunicated. They stamp me an untouchable. Such intrigue! How am I to help mankind? My disciples urge me to leave Jerusalem. The world is beautiful, they remind me: Go to Cana, go to Bethlehem, to Galilee, to Jericho.
Date groves. Olive groves. Roses. As if I needed a reminder.
This afternoon I walked about Solomon's city to an impressive ruin, a series of roofless rooms, fallen columns, weeds growing through marble floors, lizards on walls. Birds dotted the sky. I tried to imagine the regal furnis.h.i.+ngs of Ptolemy's time. Underfoot were hieroglyphic slabs, a cartouche among them. I climbed old stone walls, were they Nehemiah's walls when he fortified the city? I found a broken scarab and remembered Egyptian words my mother taught me as a boy. In the street below the vast ruins a Roman soldier talked with another Roman soldier. Herod's workmen were capping stone pillars. Tall men in dark red robes, red turbans on their heads, prodded camels, heavily laden animals. Were they Syrians?
Somewhere along the way I met a blind man led by a boy.
The sun sent sweat down the boy's face. Tired, they sat by a spring where women and girls were filling jars.
People recognized me and soon a crowd formed, as I rested. The blind man, wearing a sash woven with gold, white-bearded, tall, erect and proud, asked about me. The boy whispered desperately to him.
"It's Bartimaeus and his son, from Jericho," a woman said.
"Son of David, have mercy on me," Bartimaeus pled, speaking softly. Then he cried:
"Lord, have mercy, that I may receive my sight. Are you Jesus of Nazareth? Will you help me? Will you touch my eyes? I must see again."
I sat close to him and talked to him, the aura of his faith evident. As we talked I realized he could see: his expressions were so startling. He embraced his son.
Erect, silent, he stared about him. Everyone was silent.
Fumbling a little, he walked away; then, he returned and knelt by me and kissed my hands.