Once: An Eve Novel Part 15

forty-three.

I STOOD IN THE BACK OF THE PALACE CATHEDRAL, THE GAUZY veil s.h.i.+elding me from a thousand staring eyes. The King was beside me, his face fixed in a grotesque smile. He offered me his arm. As the music started I threaded my hand through his elbow and took the first step toward the altar, where Charles waited for me, the wedding band already out, pressed between his thin fingers.

The string quartet played a long, sorrowful note as I took one step, then another. The eaves were crowded with people clad in their finest silk dresses, ornate hats, and jewels. Their plastic smiles were too much to bear. Clara and Rose were on one aisle, their hair done up in stiff, overblown waves. Clara's face was drained of color. She didn't look at me as I pa.s.sed, instead wrapping her satin sash tightly around her fingers, squeezing all the blood from her hands. I scanned the pews for Moss, finally spotting him in the middle of the front row. We locked eyes for a moment before he turned away.

I was trapped here. The horrible, stifled feeling had returned. I closed my eyes for just a moment and Caleb's voice came back to me, the smell of smoke as real as it had been hours before. We were supposed to be out of the tunnel by now, moving through the abandoned neighborhood, our packs full of supplies. I took another step, then another, all the should-haves presenting themselves before me, one after the other. We were supposed to be leaving the City, going away from the wall and the soldiers and the Palace, moving east as the sun made its slow arc across the sky, finally warming our backs. We were supposed to be arriving at the first stop on the Trail.

We were supposed to be together.

But instead I was here, more alone than I'd ever been, the diamond tiara heavy on my head. The King paused in front of the altar and lifted the veil for a moment. He gazed at me, playing the role of the loving father, the camera flas.h.i.+ng, freezing us forever in this terrible place. He pressed his thin lips against my cheek and let the veil fall back over my face.

Then-finally-he was gone. I stepped up the three short stairs and took my place beside Charles. The music stopped, the people were silent. I focused on my breathing, the only reminder that I was still alive. I steadied my hands, remembering Moss's words.

The ceremony was about to begin.

acknowledgments.

A BIG HUG AND THANK-YOU TO ALL WHO MAKE THIS SERIES possible: funny man Josh Bank, for general awesomeness; Sara Shandler, for her spontaneous "I love Eve" emails, which are so supportive they make me want to dance; Joelle Hobeika, editor extraordinaire, for being able to talk character development and reality television with equal enthusiasm. To Farrin Jacobs, for all those aha! notes. And to Sarah Landis, the all-knowing "third eye," for seeing the things that we've missed (and then some).

To the sharp women who promote these books as if they were their own: Marisa Russell, for blog tours and retweets and signings; Deb Shapiro, for being the first to be All About Eve. To Kate Lee, my Twitter bestie, for all her good work and guidance. And to Kristin Marang, for her time and love spent on all things digital. That two-hour "conversation" was magical.

Much love and thanks to all of my friends, in so many cities, who offered everything from flash mobs to c.o.c.ktail parties just to celebrate this series' release. Special thanks to those who've kept me afloat during this process: Helen Rubenstein and Aaron Kandell, who read early drafts of this book; Ali and Ally (the aptly named Allies) for understanding. To Anna Gilbert, Lanie Davis, and Katie Sise-my long-distance girlfriends-for talking it out; Lauren Morphew, right back at you. And to T.W.F., for making LA feel like home.

As always, endless grat.i.tude to my brother, Kevin, and my parents, Tom and Elaine, for loving me first and best.

about the author.

ANNA CAREY graduated from New York University and has an MFA in fiction from Brooklyn College. She lives in Los Angeles.

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