Falling For The Ghost Of You Part 28

I'm there for a long time. When I come back to myself, the sun is setting over the water in a dazzling display of color.

I wipe my cheeks and discover they are cold and wet with tears. I need to go-or pee in the ocean.

Before I leave, I turn my phone on and call Lauren.

"V, where are you?! Are you okay?"

She sounds panicked. Did she talk to Zane?

I start crying again. "Lauren, can I come over. Zane-he-"

"He's here," she interrupts me. "He's been standing in the hallway for hours now. What happened, V? He looks destroyed."

"No!" I shake my head emphatically. "I can't...I don't want to see him!"

Lauren sighs. "You have to. He said he's not leaving until you talk to him---in person. If he stays, we'll get in trouble. You know how the manager is."

I let my head fall back in frustration, tears pooling in my eyes. "Okay," I say into the phone. "I'll-I guess I'll be there."

d.a.m.n Zane. I don't want to do this now. I'm not ready to face him.

Aiden Cross. This has got be some kind of dream.

Chapter 31.

I walk to Lauren's from the beach. By the time I reach the complex, I'm exhausted-physically and emotionally. I'm sure I look horrible. My eyes are gritty from crying, and my hair is a windblown mess. I guess I don't really care.

I see him before he sees me. He's leaning against the wall directly across from Lauren's door, arms crossed over his chest.

Lauren said he looked destroyed, and I'm shocked to see she's right. Zane's face is pale, dark circles under his eyes. He looks as exhausted as I feel.

His head suddenly comes up at my cautious approach. His eyes seem to burn into mine. "Violet."

He reaches for me, but I flinch away.

"Don't touch me!"

I mean to snap, but my voice comes out high and panicked. I cringe away from him. He is not the guy I sat in the sand with and talked for hours and hours with. He's not the one I had the most incredible night of life with. He's a stranger-an incredibly famous...liar.

"You know," Zane says. His voice is quiet, emotionless.

I nod stiffly. "Good bye, Aiden."

I try to walk past him to Lauren's door, but he grabs me and cages me against the wall.

Leaning down to look me in the eye, he speaks urgently. "Violet, I am so d.a.m.n sorry you found out like this. I was going to tell you-"

"It's okay," I interrupt, turning my head away. "You were using me-I get it. I should have realized. It's done, it's over with, so just leave."

Zane exhales loudly in frustration. "No, that's not what this is about. You and me, it's-look, can we go somewhere and talk?"

"No!" I shake my head, suddenly furious. "I'm not going anywhere with you!"

I'm too loud. Mrs. Jacobs' door creaks open next to us. She peers out through the crack, concerned.

"You okay, Violet?" she calls.

Zane backs up an inch. I manage to force a smile on my face. "I'm fine, thank you. Sorry about the noise."

Mrs. Jacobs frowns, with a suspicious look for Zane. "Holler if you need me," she says before she shuts the door.

"Let's get out of here," he mutters, putting a hand on my waist.

I pull away. "I'm not going with you. I don't know you. I don't know you!"

He glares down at me, frustrated. "You knew me really well last night, when you were screaming out my name."

I gasp, then I slap him-hard as I can. We are both stunned. My palm is stinging. I rub it gently against my pant leg.

His expression darkening, Zane nods slightly. "I deserved that. I'm sorry," he acknowledges grimly. Then he leans closer, his mouth brus.h.i.+ng against my ear.

"I haven't changed. I'm still me. You do know me, the real me. I'm the same guy who found you stuck in a doorway, crying, with your pants split-the same one who was inside of you all night."

His voice is low and fierce. I tremble violently at his words and the memories they stir up.

"Please just let me go," I plead. The tears are falling faster and faster now. "Just stay away from me!"

"I can't." His forehead touches mine gently, but he is grim with determination. "Come with me...hear me out. I'm not going anywhere until you do."

I glare up at him, pushed past my limit. "Why are you doing this to me?! You've had your laughs. Just-go! Leave me alone!"

He shakes his head, his expression implacable. "Three more seconds, and I'm carrying you out of here. One."

I try to wiggle away, but he has me pinned with his body. "Someone will call the cops," I threaten.

"I don't give a f.u.c.k. Two."

What choice do I have? More people are starting to peek out their doors, and it won't be long before someone complains. I don't want to get Lauren in trouble.

"Fine," I say stiffly. "I need to tell Lauren."

Zane moves back so I can step away. As I approach her apartment, the door swings open. Lauren stand in the doorway, her expression confirming that she's been listening in-which is fine. The twins are crowding behind her, red heads bobbing eagerly-so not fine.

"You okay, V?" Lauren shoots a quick glance at Zane, then back to me.

I nod. "I'll call you later. If my mom calls you, can you tell her I'll be home very soon?"

"Sure. Call me if you need me."

She gives me a meaningful look. I just shrug. When she shuts the door, I turn to Zane.

"Let's go."

I silently follow him to his truck, refusing to look at him. I don't even want to breathe too deeply and inhale his soap and fresh laundry scent, because it always turns me on. I'm appalled I can still feel that way about him, but I guess I can't help those teenage hormones.

"Go to Taco Bill's," I blurt out as he starts the engine.

Zane stares down at the steering wheel, his jaw clenching. "That's hardly a private place to talk."

"I don't want to be alone with you," I say bluntly.

"What, I'm a psycho killer now?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "I don't trust you. Because you lied to me."

Zane doesn't respond. We drive to the restaurant in total silence. It's so surreal to me. I am in the car with Aiden Cross, my favorite singer. I had s.e.x with him. How could I have not known? How could I have known? Who would guess that their boyfriend is actually a famous rock star? That doesn't happen in real life. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that this would be his big secret.

Ha, if I thought me and Zane didn't stand a chance before...yeah, there goes that dream, right out the window.

I'm so stupid.

Zane pulls into a parking spot at Taco Bill's, but neither of us get out. Why did I pick Taco Bill's? Looking out the window, I spot Matt's car, and Kim's. Kim is, like, Aiden Cross' biggest fan. If she saw Zane up close, she might guess his secret ident.i.ty.

I feel dumb for saying that. Like he's a superhero or something.

"You must've thought I was so stupid," I say, my hand on the door.

He looks up at me. "What?" he says warily.

I give a bitter little chuckle. "All those times I accused you of flirting with receptionists, waitresses, and cousins...when you were really s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around with actresses like Alaina Skye, and-and-supermodels."

"Alaina and I are just friends."

"Right." I snort. "That's why there are pictures of the two of you with your hands all over each other."

"No, those were photo ops arranged by our agents for publicity," he growls through clenched teeth. "Like all the other pictures you probably saw. I don't even know most of those girls' names."

"Right," I say, rolling my eyes. "But then I guess you don't have to know someone's name to put your hands all over their a.s.s."

He leans across and takes my hand in his. "I haven't been with anyone since that first day we went to lunch together."

I s.n.a.t.c.h my hand away. "Why should I believe you? You lied to me about everything. You don't even work at Cronus, do you? Was it all research for your big movie role? The fake name, the appearance...us?"

Zane is shaking his head. "No! I turned that down a while ago. My agent was trying to change my mind--she snuck that script in my bag to get me to reconsider. That's not even why I came to Hidden Cove."

"Why did you come, then?"

"I don't know." He sighs and glances out the winds.h.i.+eld. "I guess I wanted a break from being me. Don't get me wrong-I've got the best job in the world, doing what I love. But it doesn't afford much privacy. h.e.l.l, I get a haircut, and it's front page news."

"When I'm Aiden Cross, I'm always putting on a show, you know? I'm whoever my fans want me to be, and that's fine-I get that it's part of the job. I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't love it. They can have Aiden Cross-he's all theirs. He's not real. That's why I came here-I was starting to lose myself in all the hype. I needed to find the real me again. Then I found you."

I look away from the intensity in his face. I tug at my skirt nervously.

"Jenna knew," I say softly. "You told her."

"Jenna was there from the beginning," Zane says. "When I was twelve and getting all kinds of s.h.i.+t, my dad decided we needed a new start. We moved from Seattle to L.A. I started school with a new name and a clean slate. Aiden is my middle name, O' Connor is my mother's maiden name. I was Aiden Cross when I met Jenna. Then someone took a video of me singing at a party, and put it online. I've been Aiden Cross since."

Zane gives a little shrug, like it's no big deal that he was discovered as a kid and became an internet sensation overnight.

"You could have told me!" I burst out. "You should have told me. I mean-G.o.d, I told you-I told you everything! I trusted you, and all this time...you didn't trust me with your little secret."

"I did trust you-I do. No, look at me, Violet!" He grabs my hand, but this time doesn't let go. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. But please believe me. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to lose you. I thought I could have it all. I f.u.c.ked up."

I'm a mess right now, choking on my tears. I desperately try to hold onto my control, but I just can't. My heart is breaking.

"Were you ever going to tell me?!"

Zane looks pained. Does he feel sorry for me now? Is that what this is about?

"I was going to tell you when I took you to my place."

I yank my hand away from his grasp and angrily wipe my eyes. "Then what, huh? 'Thanks for the memories, it was good while it lasted'?"

"No." He leans back in his seat and sighs. "I was going to tell you everything and beg for your forgiveness. You were supposed to say it's okay, you understand, and you love me, anyway-because you know the real me. Then I was going to ask you to stay with me, because I am so in love with you."

My heart gives one big thump before it falls to the floor and shatters into a million pieces. Shaking my head, I whisper, "Don't say that to me. Not now."

"Why not? You wanted the truth, right?"

"So, what now? This-it won't work. We can't work. What am I suppose to do? Follow you around to your concerts and watch while girls flash their b.r.e.a.s.t.s at you? G.o.d, you thought I was jealous before..."

"None of that matters!" Zane runs his hands through his hair, frustrated. "You're the only thing that matters. Violet, please....give us a chance. I can't lose you."

"You lied to me!" I sob. "I don't know what's real."

"This is real."

He pulls me close and kisses me, hard and deep.

I kiss him back, helpless to resist. I climb onto his lap, sinking into him, shutting everything out-all the lies, the millions of reasons why we can't be together-for a few precious seconds.