Fruits of Culture Part 2

SAHaTOF. Yes. And you? Is any one ill?

DOCTOR [laughing] Not exactly ill, but, you know ... It's awful with these ladies! Sits up at cards till three every morning, and pulls her waist into the shape of a wine-gla.s.s. And the lady is flabby and fat, and carries the weight of a good many years on her back.

SAHaTOF. Is this the way you state your diagnosis to Anna Pavlovna? I should hardly think it quite pleases her!

DOCTOR [laughing] Well, it's the truth. They do all these tricks--and then come derangements of the digestive organs, pressure on the liver, nerves, and all sorts of things, and one has to come and patch them up.

It's just awful! [Laughs] And you? You are also a spiritualist it seems?

SAHaTOF. I? No, I am not also a spiritualist.... Good morning! [Is about to go, but is stopped by the Doctor].

DOCTOR. No! But I can't myself, you know, positively deny the possibility of it, when a man like Krougosvetlof is connected with it all. How can one? Is he not a professor,--a European celebrity? There must be something in it. I should like to see for myself, but I never have the time. I have other things to do.

SAHaTOF. Yes, yes! Good morning. [Exit, bowing slightly].

DOCTOR [to Tanya] Is Anna Pavlovna up?

TaNYA. She's in her bedroom, but please come up.

Doctor goes upstairs.

Theodore Ivanitch enters with a newspaper in his hand.

THEODORE IVaNITCH [to Porter] What is it you want?

PORTER. I'm from Bourdey's. I brought a dress and a note, and was told to wait.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Ah, from Bourdey's! [To Tanya] Who came in just now?

TaNYA. It was Sergey Ivanitch Sahatof and the Doctor. They stood talking here a bit. It was all about spiritalism.

THEODORE IVaNITCH [correcting her] Spirit_u_alism.

TaNYA. Yes, that's just what I said--spiritalism. Have you heard how well it went off last time, Theodore Ivanitch? [Laughs] There was knocks, and things flew about!

THEODORE IVaNITCH. And how do _you_ know?

TaNYA. Miss Elizabeth told me.

Jacob runs in with a tumbler of tea on a tray.

JACOB [to the Porter] Good morning!

PORTER [disconsolately] Good morning!

Jacob knocks at Vasily Leoniditch's door.

Gregory enters.

GREGORY. Give it here.

JACOB. You didn't bring back all yesterday's tumblers, nor the tray Vasily Leoniditch had. And it's me that have to answer for them!

GREGORY. The tray is full of cigars.

JACOB. Well, put them somewhere else. It's me who's answerable for it.

GREGORY. I'll bring it back! I'll bring it back!

JACOB. Yes, so you say, but it is not where it ought to be. The other day, just as the tea had to be served, it was not to be found.

GREGORY. I'll bring it back, I tell you. What a fuss!

JACOB. It's easy for you to talk. Here am I serving tea for the third time, and now there's the lunch to get ready. One does nothing but rush about the livelong day. Is there any one in the house who has more to do than me? Yet they are never satisfied with me.

GREGORY. Dear me? Who could wish for any one more satisfactory? You're such a fine fellow!

TaNYA. n.o.body is good enough for you! You alone ...

GREGORY [to Tanya] No one asked your opinion! [Exit].

JACOB. Ah well, I don't mind. Tatyana Markovna, did the mistress say anything about yesterday?

TaNYA. About the lamp, you mean?

JACOB. And how it managed to drop out of my hands, the Lord only knows!

Just as I began rubbing it, and was going to take hold of it in another place, out it slips and goes all to pieces. It's just my luck! It's easy for that Gregory Mihaylitch to talk--a single man like him! But when one has a family, one has to consider things: they have to be fed. I don't mind work.... So she didn't say anything? The Lord be thanked!... Oh, Theodore Ivanitch, have you one spoon or two?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. One. Only one! [Reads newspaper].

Exit Jacob.

Bell rings. Enter Gregory (carrying a tray) and the Doorkeeper.

DOORKEEPER [to Gregory] Tell the master some peasants have come from the village.

GREGORY [pointing to Theodore Ivanitch] Tell the major-domo here, it's his business. I have no time. [Exit].

TaNYA. Where are these peasants from?

DOORKEEPER. From Koursk, I think.

TaNYA [shrieks with delight] It's them.... It's Simon's father come about the land! I'll go and meet them! [Runs off].

DOORKEEPER. Well, then, what shall I say to them? Shall they come in here? They say they've come about the land--the master knows, they say.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Yes, they want to purchase some land. All right! But he has a visitor now, so you had better tell them to wait.

DOORKEEPER. Where shall they wait?