Fruits of Culture Part 23

THEODORE IVaNITCH. All right! All right! Now is not the time. I've been ordered to arrange the room for the seance.

TaNYA. Let me help you. How's it to be arranged?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. How? Why, the table in the middle of the room--chairs--the guitar--the accordion. The lamp is not wanted, only candles.

TaNYA [helps Theodore Ivanitch to place the things] Is that right? The guitar here, and here the inkstand. [Places it] So?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Can it be true that they'll make Simon sit here?

TaNYA. I suppose so; they've done it once.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Wonderful! [Puts on his pince-nez] But is he clean?

TaNYA. How should I know?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Then, I'll tell you what ...

TaNYA. Yes, Theodore Ivanitch?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Go and take a nail-brush and some Pears' soap; you may take mine ... and go and cut his claws and scrub his hands as clean as possible.

TaNYA. He can do it himself.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Well then, tell him to. And tell him to put on a clean s.h.i.+rt as well.

TaNYA. All right, Theodore Ivanitch. [Exit].

THEODORE IVaNITCH [sits down in an easy-chair] They're educated and learned--Alexey Vladimiritch now, he's a professor--and yet sometimes one can't help doubting very much. The people's rude superst.i.tions are being abolished: hobgoblins, sorcerers, witches.... But if one considers it, is not this equally superst.i.tious? How is it possible that the souls of the dead should come and talk, and play the guitar? No! Some one is fooling them, or they are fooling themselves. And as to this business with Simon--it's simply incomprehensible. [Looks at an alb.u.m]

Here's their spiritualistic alb.u.m. How is it possible to photograph a spirit? But here is the likeness of a Turk and Leonid Fyodoritch sitting by.... Extraordinary human weakness!

Enter Leonid Fyodoritch.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Is it all ready?

THEODORE IVaNITCH [rising leisurely] Quite ready. [Smiles] Only I don't know about your new medium. I hope he won't disgrace you, Leonid Fyodoritch.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. No, I and Alexey Vladimiritch have tested him. He is a wonderfully powerful medium!

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Well, I don't know. But is he clean enough? I don't suppose you have thought of ordering him to wash his hands? It might be rather inconvenient.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. His hands? Oh yes! They're not clean, you think?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. What can you expect? He's a peasant, and there will be ladies present, and Marya Vasilevna.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. It will be all right.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. And then I have something to report to you. Timothy, the coachman, complains that he can't keep things clean because of the dogs.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH [arranging the things on the table absent-mindedly]

What dogs?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. The three hounds that came for Vasily Leoniditch to-day.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH [vexed] Tell Anna Pavlovna! She can do as she likes about it. I have no time.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. But you know her weakness ...

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. 'Tis just as she likes, let her do as she pleases.

As for him,--one never gets anything but unpleasantness from him.

Besides, I am busy.

Enter Simon, smiling; he has a sleeveless peasant's coat on.

SIMON. I was ordered to come.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Yes, it's all right. Let me see your hands. That will do, that will do very well! Well then, my good fellow, you must do just as you did before,--sit down, and give way to your mood. But don't think at all.

SIMON. Why should I think? The more one thinks, the worse it is.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Just so, just so, exactly! The less conscious one is, the greater is the power. Don't think, but give in to your mood. If you wish to sleep, sleep; if you wish to walk, walk. Do you understand?

SIMON. How could one help understanding? It's simple enough.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. But above all, don't be frightened. Because you might be surprised yourself. You must understand that just as we live here, so a whole world of invisible spirits live here also.

THEODORE IVaNITCH [improving on what Leonid Fyodoritch has said]

Invisible feelings, do you understand?

SIMON [laughs] How can one help understanding! It's very plain as you put it.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. You may rise up in the air, or something of the kind, but don't be frightened.

SIMON. Why should I be frightened? That won't matter at all.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Well then, I'll go and call them all.... Is everything ready?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. I think so.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. But the slates?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. They are downstairs. I'll bring them. [Exit].

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. All right then. So don't be afraid, but be at your ease.

SIMON. Had I not better take off my coat? One would be more easy like.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Your coat? Oh no. Don't take that off. [Exit].

SIMON. She tells me to do the same again, and she will again shy things about. How isn't she afraid?