A Spot Of Bother Part 30

"I'm fine," said Jean. "Well, to be honest, I'm not fine. It's been difficult to say the least. But I'm glad you and Jamie are here."

"Talking of which..."

"He's gone to the canteen," said Jean. "Your father was asleep and he hadn't eaten. So I sent him off."

"Ray said the house was a mess."

"The house," said Jean. "My G.o.d, I'd forgotten about the house."

"Sorry."

"You'll come back with me, won't you," said Jean. "They're keeping your father in overnight."

"Of course," said Katie. "We'll do whatever's best for you."

"Thank you," said Jean.

Katie looked at George. "Well, he doesn't seem to be in pain."

"No."

"Where did he cut himself?"

"On his hip," said Jean. "I guess he must have fallen over onto the chisel when he was holding it." She leant forward and flicked the blankets back to show Katie the dressed wound, but his pajama trousers had been pushed a little too far down and you could see his pubic hair so she quickly flicked the blanket back again.

Katie picked up her father's hand and held it. "Dad?" she said. "It's Katie." Dad murmured something incomprehensible. "You're a b.l.o.o.d.y idiot. But we love you."

"So, is Jacob here?" asked Jean.

But Katie wasn't listening. She sat down on the other chair and started to cry.

"Katie?"

"I'm sorry."

Jean let her cry for a while, then said, "Jamie told me about the wedding."

Katie looked up. "What?"

"About you wanting to call the wedding off."

Katie looked pained.

"It's OK," said Jean. "I know you're probably worried about bringing it up. What with your father's accident. And everything being arranged. But the very worst thing would be to go ahead just because you didn't want to cause a fuss."

"Right," said Katie, nodding to herself.

"The most important thing is that you're happy." She paused. "If it makes you feel any better, we've had our doubts all along."

"We?"

"Your father and I. Ray's obviously a decent man. And Jacob clearly likes him. But we've always felt that he wasn't quite right for you."

Katie said nothing for a worryingly long time.

"We love you very much," said Jean.

Katie interrupted her. "And it was Jamie who told you this."

"He said you rang him." Something was clearly going wrong, but Jean wasn't sure what.

Katie stood up. There was a steely look in her eye. She said, "I'll be back in a few minutes," and disappeared through the curtains.

She seemed very angry indeed.

Jamie was in trouble. Jean could tell that much. She sat back and closed her eyes and let out a long breath. She didn't have the energy for this. Not now.

Your children never really grew up. Thirty years on and they still behaved like five-year-olds. One minute they were your best friend. Then you said the wrong thing and they went off like firecrackers.

She leant forward and took George's hand. You could say what you liked about her husband, but at least he was predictable.

Or used to be.

She squeezed his fingers and realized she hadn't got the faintest idea what was going on in his head.

71.

When Jamie entered the waiting room he saw Ray and Jacob sitting opposite one another at the far end of the green plastic seats. Ray was doing the magic trick with the coin. The one fathers had been doing all over the world since the beginning of time. the waiting room he saw Ray and Jacob sitting opposite one another at the far end of the green plastic seats. Ray was doing the magic trick with the coin. The one fathers had been doing all over the world since the beginning of time.

Jamie sat down in the seat next to Jacob and said, "h.e.l.lo, boys."

Jacob said, "Ray can do magic."

Ray looked at Jamie and said, "So...?"

For a few seconds Jamie had no idea what Ray might be talking about. Then he remembered. "Oh, yeh. Dad. Sorry. I've been in the canteen. He's fine. Well, actually he's not fine. I mean, there are other problems, but physically, he's fine. Mum rang everyone because..." There was no way to explain why Mum rang everyone without giving Jacob nightmares. "I'll explain later."

"Is Grandpa dead," said Jacob.

"He's very much alive," said Jamie. "So there's nothing for you to worry about."

"Good," said Ray. "Good." He breathed out, like someone acting relieved in a play.

Then Jamie remembered the wedding thing and felt uncomfortable not mentioning it. So he said, "How are you?" with a meaningful tone to indicate that this was genuine concern, not just politeness.

And Ray said, "I'm OK," with a meaningful tone to indicate that he knew exactly what Jamie was talking about.

"Do the magic," said Jacob. "Magic it. Magic it into my ear."

"OK." Ray turned to Jamie and there was the faintest hint of a smile and Jamie allowed himself to consider the possibility that Ray might be a reasonably pleasant human being.

The coin was a twenty pence piece. There was a twenty pence piece in the back pocket of Jamie's cords. He quietly fished it out and held it secretly in his right hand. "This time," said Jamie, "Ray is going to magic the coin into my hand." He held up his right fist.

Ray looked at Jamie, and clearly thought Jamie was trying to arrange some man-on-man touching if his frown was anything to go by. Then it clicked, and he smiled, a proper smile this time, and said, "Let's give it ago."

Ray put the coin theatrically between his thumb and forefinger.

"I have to do the sprinkle," said Jacob, clearly terrified that someone else might do the sprinkle first.

"Go on, then," said Ray.

Jacob sprinkled invisible magic dust over the coin.

Ray did a little flourish with his free hand, lowered it over the coin like a handkerchief, squeezed it into a fist and whipped it away. The coin had vanished.

"The hand," said Jacob. "Show me the magic hand."

Ray opened his fist slowly.

No coin.

Jacob's eyes were wide with wonder.

"And now," said Jamie, holding up his fist, "bzzang!" "bzzang!"

He was just about to open his hand and reveal the coin when Ray said, "Katie...?" and the look on his face was not good. And Jamie turned round and saw Katie marching toward him, and the look on her face was not good, either.

He said, "Katie. Hi," and she punched him in the side of the head so that he was knocked off his seat onto the floor and found himself looking, in close-up, at Jacob's shoes.

He heard a slightly deranged person cheering approvingly from the other side of the room, and Ray saying, "Katie...What the b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l...?" and Jacob saying, "You hit Uncle Jamie," in a puzzled voice, and the sound of footsteps running.

By the time he'd levered himself into a sitting position there was a security guard approaching them saying, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's calm it down a bit here, people."

Katie said to Jamie, "What the f.u.c.k did you tell Mum?"

Jamie said, to the security guard, "It's OK, she's my sister."

Ray said to Jacob, "I think you and I are going to go and see Granny and Grandpa."

The security guard said, "Any more funny business and I'll have the lot of you out of here," but no one was really listening to him.

72.

Five minutes later Jean heard a second set of footsteps, heavier than Katie's. She thought, at first, that it was another doctor. She braced herself. Jean heard a second set of footsteps, heavier than Katie's. She thought, at first, that it was another doctor. She braced herself.

But when the curtains opened it was Ray, with Jacob on his shoulders.

She realized, instantly, what had happened. Katie had told Ray. About her and George having doubts. About Ray not being good enough for their daughter.

Ray put Jacob down.

Jacob said, "h.e.l.lo, Grandma. I had...I got...some...some chocolate b.u.t.tons. For Grandpa."

Jean had no idea what a man like Ray might do when he was angry.

She got off her chair and said, "Ray. I'm really sorry. It's not that we don't like you. Far from it. We just...I'm so, so sorry."

She wanted the ground to swallow her up, but it didn't, so she ducked between the curtains and ran.

73.

Katie watched Jamie get to his feet and three things then occurred to her in rapid succession. get to his feet and three things then occurred to her in rapid succession.

Firstly, she was going to have to do some serious explaining to Jacob. Secondly, she'd lost her final shred of moral superiority over Ray. Thirdly, it was the first time she'd punched someone properly since that argument over the red sandals with Zoe Canter in junior school, and it felt b.l.o.o.d.y brilliant.

She sat down next to her brother. Neither of them spoke for a few moments.

"I'm sorry," she said, though she wasn't. Not really. "I've been having a c.r.a.p few weeks."

"Snap," said Jamie.

"Meaning?"

"Tony chucked me."

"s.h.i.+t. I'm sorry," said Katie, and over Jamie's shoulder she saw a woman who looked very like Mum running toward the main corridor of the hospital as if she was being chased by an invisible dog.

"And it wasn't a chisel," said Jamie, "he was 'cutting the cancer off,' apparently. With scissors."

"Well, that makes a bit more sense," said Katie.