The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool "Asley" Chapter 34

Translator: Barnnn

Editor: Anna

Proofreader: p4553r

Bah, before I knew it I got roped into the spotlight once again.

Anyway, the power of a Rank SS sure is incredible.

And the Holy Warriors used to deal with these things easily when they faced the Devil King?

If that is the case, even the Six Archmages can't measure up to them, considering how much difficulties two of them are having now…

Gaston, Irene and Billy are all level-100, aren't they?

So how would one cover for that much difference in power?

…Now wait for a second, ‘Gramps', did you truly think I would be able to take on the Devil King just by studying…?

I guess the best I can do now is focus on hunting monsters and levelling up.

And where did I even put ‘that thing'?

“Hmm… not this, not this… ah, here it is!”

“What did you take out, Master?”

“Hmm? It's a superacid weapon, made from Spinaclesaurus Acid and your gastric juice.”

“Wha — what in blazes were you even thinking when you came up with that!?”

Now that's what I call a face of pure disgust.

Shows just how much you despise my curiosity-driven research, despite me having obtained the gastric juice perfectly legally from your vomit.

“Hey, are you questioning my innovative ideas!?”

“What were you thinking, using a lady's stomach acid to create a bomb!? You d.a.m.ned fool!”

“Lady? I don't see any lady here! Look at all that fur!”

“Do you not know what a wolf's life is like!? Don't you dare talk like that about my beautiful fur again! You really are a d.a.m.ned fool!”

“And you used to tell me you ‘couldn't become a human when you look at a full moon'! You were a d.a.m.ned fool for believing that myth in the first place!”

“You d.a.m.ned fool!”

“Then you're a mega fool!”

“Then you're a peta fool!”

“Imma throw this acid!”

“Let's not do that!”

“Yeah, sure… Not!”

“…In all seriousness, you ought to hurry up and use that thing you created before Sir Gaston gets angry.”

“Well, he already looks plenty angry though.”

I took a glance at Gaston and saw that he was starting to seethe up a bit.

Good gracious, and here I thought that adventurers were supposed to be free spirits… Well, I guess I gotta do something, otherwise everyone might die.

“Young man! Hurry and pitch in!”

“…Yes, sir! Pochi, go!”

“AWOOOOO!!”

Pochi unleashed a Zenith Breath Attack and as if to chase it, sprinted towards the Ogre King.

The close combatants, having successfully severed the monster's dominant arm, dodged the Breath Attack and Irene started firing support attacks from a distance. Billy tried the best he could to use recovery magic. And Gaston already has his hands full with keeping the boundary up.

“Pochi, Air Claw!”

“I just polished these nails and you're telling me to ruin them again!”

“You're acting girly in all the wrong places, you know that!? Just do it!”

“AWOO!!”

Ma.s.sive bladed wind blasts ripped the Ogre King along with the earth.

In a low-danger position, I started tracing a Craft Circle in the air.

At the very same moment, Gaston's and my boundaries were shattered and with that came a terrific shockwave.

“Get away!”

Immediately as Gaston signalled or no — even before he did, everyone had already spread out.

“This is the last one I can make! Octa Boundary!”

“I'll hold it down! We can't wait much longer!”

Between maintaining the boundary and occasionally firing magic spells, Gaston's mana is draining quickly.

Irene is close to her limit as well. And with us no longer being able to rely on Billy's support, we're almost out of time.

“Hurry it up, Asley!”

“It's slowed down, but we won't make it if it moves again!”

Irene and Blazer requested that I use some magic.

“Please wait just a little bit more!”

I can't rush this. Air Tracing requires a great deal of concentration.

“Sir Gaston chose him as an officer even though he's Rank B… what sort of character could he be?”

I think I just heard Dallas. Just a little more, sir.

“Hah, tell you what, sir — we wouldn't have signed up if not for him!”

“He's a cute boy, that's for sure. Hu hu hu.”

“Well, that's what he's like from our perspective, sir.”

Looks like the members of The Silver has successfully cut off both of the enemy's legs.

A little more… a little more…! …Done!!

“Everyone, get away!”

“”Right!””

“Rise, rise, rise, rise! Dragon Stream!”

“W-what the… a dragon–?”

“Another magecraft… calling a dragon from that little bottle? What in the world…?”

“A high-ranked craft at that… what kind of liquid solution did that young man have with him?”

The superacid flew off in the shape of a thin tube from the bottle.

Then it enlarged, taking the form of a ma.s.sive serpentine dragon.

When the bottle was emptied of its contents, the water dragon roared.

“PIIII!!”

“The target is… there!”

The dragon looked at me for a moment, then lined itself up with where I pointed my staff at, the Ogre King.

“Go!”

“PIIII!!”

The dragon bolted forth as if both swimming and running nimbly through the air.

At that point, Irene had exhausted her mana and the Octa Boundary had been broken.

The King kept up its regular roars. Even with both of its legs and dominant arm lost, an SS-ranked monster is still stronger than an S-ranked one. As long as it has an arm left, it may be able to annihilate all of us here if given a chance.

The Ogre King picked up one of the black spears littered about, brandis.h.i.+ng it while seated, waiting to strike the incoming water dragon.

“Whew, just in time…”

“Hey hey, the dragon's gonna be destroyed, man!”

“No, it's fine! It's made of my gastric acid, after all!”

Hey, weren't you angry about that just a few moments ago?

The water dragon did not slow down a single notch against the frightful black spear.

The King had timed its swing perfectly. It certainly hit its mark… however, the spear's tip no longer existed on top of the dragon's head.

The latter would have been pulverized if it was a flesh-and-blood dragon, but this was a water-dragon made purely of superacid. The spear disappeared instantly as if it had sublimated away.

“Uh, are you for real…?”

“So that's an acid dragon? With Pochi's stomach acid… that's disgusting…”

“Ah-hem!”

Hey, weren't you angry about that just a few moments ago?

“Dammit, Asley, if you had this kinda thing, you could've used it back in the labyrinth instead of making me dig the hole… b.a.s.t.a.r.d.”

Oh c.r.a.p, now Bruce is angry. I'll have to think of an excuse just in case.

“PIIII!!”

“GWOOOHH!!”

The Ogre King screamed in agony… the water dragon coiled around it, dissolving the parts it touched.

It created no wound, but rather gaps — and those gaps were excruciatingly painful. A forbidden product of superacid and magecraft, it melted even the bones.

“OOO… O… ohh…”

The dragon's liquid components gradually dried, leaving only its head and it ended the show by engulfing the Ogre King, which also had only its head left.

It's pretty hard to see how things are, but it looks like there's no problem. By the time my Craft Circle disappeared, the vicinity was filled with nothing but the stench of acid.

“I might have gone… too far.”

“Hmph, that acid was quite a tactically cheap Artifact, don't you think?”

Gaston glared at me as he asked that.

“You have trained in the art of alchemy as well, young man?”

“You seem to know a great deal… Where in the world did you…”

Billy's face was a bit scary, too.

And the one who's making the scariest face is… Our dear teacher, li'l Irene.

“What's the deal with you!? Seriously! You're annoying me even more!”

Let's stay away from her for a while.

“You did it, Asley!”

“Thanks to you, we finished the job without much damage!”

“Betty, Blazer. It's all thanks to your cooperation. Magic isn't something I can use easily without frontliners covering for me, after all.”

“Dammit, Asley! Why didn't you use the acid back then–“

“I never could have! I only made this a few days ago!”

“…He's lying, sir!”

Bah, you just had to spill the beans, huh?

“I'm sure that was a highly valuable acid component. Any dignified alchemist would never use it without a very good reason. Am I right? Young man?”

“Uh, well, yes…”

“So what are the materials? It can't be just Pochi's gastric juice, can it?”

“Spinaclesaurus Acid, sir. And a dash of salt and pepper…”

“……Spinaclesaurus. Officially cla.s.sified as an ranked monster of the Land Dragon archetype, was it now?”

Wait, what's up with that expression just now, sir?

“Do you know what it is?”

“Of course not?”

“I don't remember it from anywhere…”

“Of course they wouldn't know.”

“Sir Dallas… and Sir Billy… not even Miss Irene?”

They're glaring at me quite hard… what's going on?

“Young man… You drank the Drop of Eternity, didn't you?”

“Eh — How did you find out, sir!?”

“Pochi, hus.h.!.+”

“Ah!”

And don't make that face. Now I can't make any excuses around it.

I was surrounded by oppressing silence. Everyone seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

“…Uh… Well…”

Doesn't look like I can work around this, just like back when I talked with Ryan.

It was called ‘the' G.o.d Drug, after all. Irene wanted it so much that she'd probably pay an arm and a leg. And yes, she's pus.h.i.+ng real hard for me to spit the details out.

“…Yes, my Master and I have consumed the G.o.d Drug, the Drop of Eternity.”

“Now you just admitted it yourself!?”

“He already found out, so wouldn't it be fine either way!?”

“You were the one who spilled the beans in the first place!”

“And what if I was!?”

Once a blabbermouth Familiar, always a blabbermouth Familiar. Looks like I might have trained her incorrectly.

“…Still, how did you tell, sir?”

“…Asley, I a.s.sume you are out of the loop, so let me explain. The Spinaclesaurus have been extinct for more than a thousand years now.”

“”…Ouch.””

In response to Dallas' exposition, Pochi and I facepalmed.

And in reaction to our reaction, Bruce and Betty chuckled. The members of The Silver sure are friendly no matter the situation.

“Which brings us to the question… how long have you been alive, Asley?”

“…5,000 something years. And for Pochi, about 800…”

“Hahahaha, now that's a super big deal! Even bigger than the Six Archmages! Man, you're awesome!”

“In that case, I can understand you being able to use magecraft, which was thought to be limited to people like me and the War Demon Emperor.”

“So it was indeed magecraft…”

I suppose there's no use in hiding it from those who would know it either way.

“The top of the freshmen and a constant source of headache for Irene… your abilities are definitely legitimate.”

“You could've left the latter point out, Billy. Besides, you do know what I want to hear the most right now, don't you, Asley?”

“Ah, it was distilled accidentally, so I wouldn't know the whole process.”

“Wha…!”

“I'd be able to tell whether you're lying or telling the truth… but you know that you've been suspiciously loose-lipped until now. Right, young man?”

So I'm still a young man to him. Well, a sudden change will make the communication awkward, so I guess it's fine. Or maybe that's Gaston's way of helping me in some manner.

Still, Irene doesn't look like she'll ever take a ‘no' for an answer.

“I do remember the initial steps, so I can certainly tell you that. Beyond that, though… sorry, I do not know.”

“Let's hear it, then.”

“D-does it have to be here and now?”

“Of course!”

Everyone present widened their ears, as if to take in every little sound.

But if I tell them, they'll probably get angry… or exasperated.

“Let's see… 2:4:3:3 ratio of sugar, milk, eggs, and wheat flour. And then–“

“”WHAT!?””

A totally expected question.

“S-so you see? I messed up when I tried to bake a cake, then got some experimental solutions mixed into it… and, well…”

“…Pfft — Fwahahahahahaha! I see, so it can only be made by a fool! Us Philosophers would never manage that! Fwahahahaha!!”

Ohh, he laughed!

Gaston's laughter echoed far and wide.

Irene and Dallas were utterly exasperated.

Billy held it in and the members of The Silver burst into laughter.

And the other adventurers under Warren's guidance, as if taking that as a signal, celebrated our victory.

“Master, Master!”

“What's up, Pochi?”

“That might have affected your ‘The Fool' t.i.tle!”

……Looks like many difficulties are still waiting for me on the way ahead.