The Adventures of Hajji Baba of Ispahan Part 44

?How!? said the Shah, ?we cannot do that; for that would be against the laws of hospitality. The gate of our palace is open to every one.?

?But,? urged the English, ?you must either retain one or the other--and must decide between us. Either agree to be our friends and expel the French, or make up your minds to receive us as enemies.?

?Why should we make ourselves enemies to please you? We want to be friends with all the world.?

?But,? continued the English, ?we will help and strengthen you, and give you money.?

?Oh! that is another case,? said the Shah; ?tell me how much, and then all may be done.?

Such was nearly the state of things when we left Tabriz, and as my amba.s.sador was expected with impatience at Tehran, we did not tarry long with the prince royal, but prosecuted our journey with all dispatch.

On the morning of our arrival at Sultanieh, on the road from Tehran, we discovered a long train of hors.e.m.e.n with their baggage, whom we could make out were not Persians, and whom as they approached we saw were Franks. They were accompanied by a mehmander, an officer from the Shah, who informed us, that this was the French emba.s.sy on its return, who it seems had been politely requested to take its leave; and it was moreover added, that the English amba.s.sador would very shortly take its place.

This at once explained how matters stood at court, and that between the rival bidders for his majesty?s favour, the King of Kings had come to a good market. My amba.s.sador was rather surprised how such a determination could have been taken previous to his arrival, fraught as he was with important information upon all the nations of Europe; but every difficulty is easily explained away when money is permitted to exert its eloquence, particularly if one recollects the words of the sheikh--

?Let money only appear, and every head is prostrate.

?Tis thus, the heaviest weight in the scales lowers the iron beam.?

We were happy to have an opportunity of observing the manners of a nation about whom we had lately heard so much, and as we pa.s.sed the day together in the same place, my chief did not fail to make himself known to the French amba.s.sador.

We expected of course to find them much depressed in spirits, and in no good humour, having been driven as it were from the presence of the Earth?s Centre; but what was our surprise to remark the contrary! Never did Persia see such a company of madmen. They were singing, dancing, and making the luti all the livelong day. They all talked at once, one louder than the other, without any apparent deference to rank, for all seemed on the same footing. Without in the least respecting our carpets, they were eternally pacing them with rapid strides, and, what most shocked our feelings, spitting upon them. As I now looked upon myself in some measure identified with the Franks, considering at what pains I had lately been to acquire information concerning them, I endeavoured to discover if there was any affinity between their language and ours; but not a word could I comprehend. However, I thought to have made some progress in it, by recollecting and writing down the words in their speech which most frequently occurred--one was _sacre_, the other _Paris_, and a third _l?Empereur_.

On the whole we liked them. We thought to discern many points of similitude between them and ourselves; and were of opinion, that if as infidels they were doomed to the _douzak_ of hereafter, even there, instead of moaning over and deploring their lot, they would still be found in the same happy mood we saw them at Sultanieh.

We parted on the following morning, they laughing, chattering, and screaming with joy; we, full of anxiety and apprehension about the reception with which our amba.s.sador would meet from the King of Kings.

[Ill.u.s.tration: The British amba.s.sadors and the Shah. 40.jpg]

CHAPTER LXXVII

The ceremony of receiving a Frank amba.s.sador at the court is described.

My chief, the Mirza Firouz, was received with great condescension by the Shah, who was pleased at the ready answers he received to his numerous questions concerning the nations of Europe. Never was man better adapted to fill the situation to which he had been appointed than the Mirza.

Every question which the Shah put to him was received with a ready answer. Ignorance did not confound him, no difficulty stopped him. The words ?_nemi danum_, I don?t know,? ever a sin in the hearing of a king, were never known to pa.s.s his lips. He discoursed upon every matter with a confidence that made his hearers believe that whatever he said must be conclusive; and upon the subject of Europeans, to listen to him, one could not but suppose he had been born and bred among them.

As I was known to have been employed under him in ?seizing news?, as the phrase goes, concerning Europe, and also in writing its history, I in some measure enjoyed the reputation of being learned in whatever regarded its inhabitants. Although my a.s.surance was nothing equal to my master?s, yet I managed to answer the questions put to me with tolerable readiness, although, in so doing, I was obliged to be very circ.u.mspect not to commit him: therefore, I pa.s.sed my days in the double fear of appearing ignorant, and of having my ears cut off in case I happened to be too wise. However, as none among our own countrymen could contradict us, we were listened to as oracles, and we exemplified what the poet Al Miei has so justly remarked: ?That in the country of the dumb the sound of one voice, be it even that of an a.s.s, would be called harmony.?

The English elchi (amba.s.sador) had reached Tehran a few days before we arrived there, and his reception was as brilliant as it was possible for a dog of an unbeliever to expect from our blessed Prophet?s own lieutenant. Indeed the city was almost shocked at the honours paid him, and some of the most violent of our mollahs declared, that in treating a Giaour so well, we were ourselves in some measure guilty of his infidelity, and preparing our own d.a.m.nation. At different stations on the road, the throats of oxen had been cut before his horse?s feet, in many places his path was strewn with sugar-candy, and on the day of his entry he was permitted to have his trumpets sounded in the procession, all of which were honours that could be exacted by none, save our own princes.

Then all the proper attentions of hospitality were shown. The house of a khan was taken from him and given to the amba.s.sador, and whatever furniture was wanting was demanded from the neighbours and placed therein. A handsome garden was levied upon another, and added to the house. The lord high treasurer was commanded to feed the strangers at his own expense as long as they chose, and clothes and shawls were collected from the courtiers and servants of the court, for the dresses of honour which it is the custom to make on such occasions. The princes and n.o.blemen were enjoined to send the amba.s.sador presents, and a general command issued that he and his suite were the Shah?s guests, and that, on the pain of the royal anger, nothing but what was agreeable should be said to them.

All these attentions, one might suppose, would be more than sufficient to make infidels contented with their lot; but, on the contrary, when the subject of etiquette came to be discussed, interminable difficulties seemed to arise. The elchi was the most intractable of mortals. First, on the subject of sitting. On the day of his audience of the Shah, he would not sit on the ground, but insisted upon having a chair; then the chair was to be placed so far, and no farther, from the throne. In the second place, of shoes, he insisted upon keeping on his shoes, and not walking barefooted upon the pavement; and he would not even put on our red cloth stockings. Thirdly, with respect to hats: he announced his intention of pulling his off to make his bow to the king, although we a.s.sured him that it was an act of great indecorum to uncover the head.

And then, on the article of dress, a most violent dispute arose: at first, it was intimated that proper dresses should be sent to him and his suite, which would cover their persons (now too indecently exposed) so effectually that they might be fit to be seen by the king; but this proposal he rejected with derision. He said, that he would appear before the Shah of Persia in the very same dress he wore when before his own sovereign. Now, as there was not a Persian who had ever been at the court of a Frank king, no body could say what that proper dress was; and, for aught we knew, the elchi might put on his bed-gown and night-cap on the occasion. This was a difficulty apparently not to be overcome, when, turning the subject over in my own mind, I recollected that among the paintings in the palace of Forty Pillars at Ispahan, there were portraits of Europeans, who, in the days of the great Shah Abbas, flocked to his court, and even established themselves in the city. In particular, I well recollected one in the very same painting in which Shah Abbas himself is represented, whose dress was doubtless the only proper costume to wear before a crowned head. I immediately suggested this to my master, who mentioned it to the grand vizier, who ordered that a copy of it should, without loss of time, be made by the best artist of Ispahan, and sent to Tehran.

So soon as it arrived it was officially presented to the English elchi, with a notification that the Shah was satisfied to receive him in the same dress he wore before his own sovereign, a model of which was now offered to him, and to which it was expected that he and his suite would strictly conform.

The shouts of laughter which the infidels set up, upon seeing the picture and hearing the message, are not to be described. They asked if we thought them monkeys, that they should dress themselves as such at our bidding, and were so obstinate in their resolution of keeping to their own mode of attire, that at length they were permitted to do as they chose.

The audience of the Shah pa.s.sed off much better than could have been expected from such rude and uncivilized people, and we were all astonished that men, so unaccustomed to the manners and forms of the world, should have conducted themselves on this difficult occasion without committing some act that was flagrant and improper. The king was seated on his throne of gold, dressed with a magnificence that dazzled the eyes of the strangers, and made even his subjects exclaim, ?Jems.h.i.+d?

who was he? or Darab? or Nus.h.i.+rvan? that they should be mentioned in the same breath?? On the right and left of the throne stood the princes, more beautiful than the gems which blazed upon their father?s person.

At a distance were placed the three viziers of the state, those depositaries of wisdom and good council; and, with their backs to the wall, each bearing a part of the paraphernalia of the crown, were marshalled in a row the black-eyed pages of royalty, who might be compared to angels supporting planets from the starry firmament. In the midst appeared the Franks, who, with their unhidden legs, their coats cut to the quick, their unbearded chins, and unwhiskered lips, looked like birds moulting, or diseased apes, or anything but human creatures, when contrasted with the ample and splendidly dressed persons by whom they were surrounded. And they stood their ground, not in the least abashed by the refulgent presence of the great king; but their att.i.tude, manner, and expression of countenance, would have made us suppose they were as good and as undefiled as ourselves.

The speech made on the occasion by the elchi was characteristic of the people he represented--that is, unadorned, unpolished, neither more nor less than the truth, such as a camel-driver might use to a muleteer; and had it not been for the ingenuity of the interpreter our Shah would neither have been addressed by his t.i.tle of King of Kings, or of the Kebleh of the Universe.

It would be taking up the pen of eternity were I to attempt to describe the boundless difference that we discovered between the manners and sentiments of these people and ourselves. Some of our sages endeavoured to account for it upon philosophical principles, and attributed much to the climate of those dark, watery, and sunless regions in which they were bred and born: ?for,?said they, ?how can men living surrounded by water, and who never feel the warmth of the sun, be like those who are never a day without enjoying the full effulgence of its rays, and do not even know what the sea means?? But the men of the law settled the question in a much more satisfactory manner, by saying ?it was owing to their infidelity that they were doomed to be cursed even in this life; and that if the amba.s.sador, his suite, and even his whole nation, would submit to become Mussulmans, and embrace the only true faith, they would immediately be like ourselves, their defilements would be washed clean, and they even might stand a chance of walking in the same story of the heavens as the genuine children of Islam would in the world to come.

CHAPTER LXXVIII

Hajji is noticed by the grand vizier, and is the means of gratifying that minister?s favourite pa.s.sion.

The transactions just recorded were all propitious to my advancement.

Owing to the knowledge I was supposed to have acquired respecting Europe, I was employed in most of the affairs which concerned the Franks in Persia, and this had furnished me with many opportunities of becoming known to the grand vizier, and to other ministers and men in power.

The Mirza Firouz was not rich, and the maintenance which he received in his public character ceasing as soon as he returned to Tehran, he could no longer afford to support me, and he was happy to find that I was able to work my own way into a livelihood. He did not fail to praise my good qualities, and never lost an opportunity of extolling my abilities. Nor was I backward in seconding his endeavours, for I brought everything and every person, infidels as well as true believers, to bear upon my ambitious views; and destiny (without whose aid man?s endeavours are of no avail) almost as much as whispered, that the buffetings of the world had taken their departure from me.

The grand vizier was, without a doubt, the man in Persia, who from his acuteness, tact, and presence of mind, had the most influence over the Shah. He had enjoyed his high situation almost from the commencement of the present long reign, and had so interlaced his office with every transaction, public as well as private, that his councils became as necessary to the country as the rising and setting of the sun.

To secure his protection became then the first object of my endeavours.

I began by daily attending his levees and standing before him, and as the affairs relating to Europe now took up his princ.i.p.al attention, he never saw me without asking some question referring thereto. This led to my being entrusted with messages to the English amba.s.sador, the answers to which I always brought back, with something of my own surcharged, flattering to his abilities as a great statesman, and thus by creating goodwill between the parties, I myself became a favourite.

The leading pa.s.sion of the vizier was the love of receiving presents.

This was my kebleh in all transactions with the elchi, and my ingenuity was constantly exercised in endeavouring to extract something from him which would be acceptable to the vizier, and serviceable to myself.

That presents of ceremony should be received and given was a matter of course, and, therefore, I stood no chance of acquiring any credit on such occasions; but I was once or twice accessory in making the balance strongly preponderate in favour of my own countrymen, and the vizier from that time began to look upon me with a favourable aspect.

A treaty was to be negotiated between the two countries, and my patron was appointed one of the plenipotentiaries on the part of the Shah.

Although this was matter in which one of my insignificance could not expect to be employed, yet I did not cease to ply about the negotiators, like a dog at an entertainment seeking for a chance bone; and every now and then I got so much of the scent as to make me almost sure of springing some game for myself.

At length, one morning, after a late sitting of the negotiators, I was summoned to attend the grand vizier in his very anderun, a place to which none but his most confidential servants were ever admitted.

I found him still in bed, bolstered up with many soft pillows, and entirely alone.

?Hajji,? said he, in a familiar tone, ?draw near, and seat yourself close to me; I have something of importance to say.?

I was staggered by so high an honour; but as his command was law, I did not hesitate to kneel by his bedside.

Without circ.u.mlocution, he at once told me that he was placed in a situation of great difficulty, for the English amba.s.sador had made some demands impossible to be granted, and declared that he must quit Tehran, should they not receive our acquiescence.

?Now,? said he, ?the Shah has threatened if I permit the elchi to leave Persia dissatisfied, that my head shall answer for it; and at the same time I and my brother plenipotentiary are half persuaded that his majesty will never accede to the demands of England. What is to be done??

?Could he not be bribed?? said I, with all humility, and looking as if I would give other meaning to my words.

?_He_ be bribed?? said the vizier; ?in the first place, whence could the bribe come? and in the second, these people are such fools, that they know not what a bribe means. But give me your ear. We are no fools, whatever they may be. The elchi is very anxious to carry his point, and you know me well enough to be aware that there is nothing I cannot accomplish if once I take it in hand. You must go and talk to him. You are his friend. You may say that you are mine--you may whisper many things to him which I cannot--do you understand??