The 'Burg: Hold On Part 7

Morrie had talked Feb into putting a few TVs in, which meant Sundays at the bar, always steady but not busy, became the last-busy. Good for tips. Bad to have a bunch of folks around while I had to take the hit that Merry was going to deliver.

But Merry thought I was a woman who "got it."

And I did "get it," even if I didn't want to.

So I'd take it, I'd understand it, and we'd carry on.

I just wasn't looking forward to it.

Chapter Three.

Guarantee Cher "All right! We're rollin' out!" I called to the house, walking out of my bedroom.

It was the next day and we were on our way to my mother's so I could drop Ethan and then get to work.

In preparing, I'd managed to beat back the urge to go all out-or more to the point, not.

Part of me understood why Mia Merrick didn't make an approach to her ex-husband (a small part of me), this being he had so far from remained celibate since their break it wasn't funny. He'd tagged and bagged a lot of tail in the time I knew him, and although Mia rarely came into J&J's and definitely didn't attend any other events I'd been to when Merry was around, the amount of tail he'd hit in a town that small would be impossible to miss.

And I saw what he went for. Pet.i.te. Emphasis on hair. Talented hand with makeup brushes. Dressed like me, showing skin. They'd get their cling on, if not skintight, not much left to the imagination.

The difference was it was designer, expensive, not only the clothes but the hair. They didn't get their hair cut in their mother's kitchen and their color or highlights out of a bottle. They got it from folks who charged a lot more than my mom, who'd do it for a bottle of wine or me making dinner.

The extra cake spent on the entire package catapulted them from what I was considered-trash-to what they were considered-cla.s.s-even if we were all going for the same effect.

I didn't spend money on clothes and hair, and my makeup was drugstore, Walmart, or Target purchased.

I didn't do this, because I had a kid.

This didn't mean I didn't have the odd piece in my closet that might show Merry I had that in me-cla.s.s. The ability to turn a different kind of eye, maybe even his.

The thing was, it was the odd piece and those pieces were for hanging with my girls. They weren't for work. And I didn't want to say what it would say to Merry if I faced down the hit he was going to give me that day dressed in armor he'd take one look at and understand that I needed armor. I needed it because he had the ability to hurt me and that was because he meant more to me than I wanted him to know. Or, more to the point, he meant everything to me in a way I didn't want him to know.

Besides, it didn't matter. If he didn't know me and want me for me, then f.u.c.k him.

So I was in my usual. Tight jeans. Thick, black belt with a huge rhinestone buckle. Black tank with a deep racerback and a rocker cross on the front, studs abounding. Black lace bra that was s.e.xy as all h.e.l.l, straps showing, giving a hint of the rest of the goodness that was hidden. Spike-heeled, black suede bootie sandals with a slouchy top that my jeans were tucked into, my black-polished toenails and heels exposed.

Add big silver earrings, black leather studded cuff on my wrist, a tangle of necklaces falling down my front, big hair, and heavy makeup, and I was good to go.

This look was me, but it also had a bonus-it was good for tips.

I walked out of my bedroom as I threw on a droopy, loose-woven black cardigan and saw Ethan at the door with his backpack.

"You good?" I asked, going to my purse in the wicker bucket chair (the purse also black suede with silver studs and the addition of silver chain as straps).

"Yeah," he replied, opening the door and heading out.

I followed him, beeping the locks of my Chevy Equinox.

Not yet knowing he was criminally insane, I'd given my car to Dennis Lowe and he'd used it to cross state lines and continue his butchery. He'd dumped it along the way, and after all the bows were tied on the case, I'd gotten it back.

I'd then immediately sold it and used the rest of the money he gave me, plus the money I got from selling all the s.h.i.+t he gave me, to buy my now not-so-new, blue baby girl. She was big and roomy. She was my son's favorite color. She had a smooth ride. She was safe. She had an awesome stereo. And of all the things Denny Lowe did to me, I did not mind one single bit that his bulls.h.i.+t got me and my kid in a nice, safe car.

We deserved that. So I'd made it so.

I backed out of the drive and headed toward Mom's place.

Mom, like Ethan and me, lived in the 'burg proper. Not the old part where the houses were established, on big lots, graceful, and grand. Not the edges where the developments ranged from middle cla.s.s to seriously upper middle cla.s.s.

But the post-war middle part where the lots were big, the trees were tall, but the houses were small and there hadn't been a lot of time, effort, or money put in to throwing them up.

We hit the curb at Mom's and Ethan and I got out, moving up her walk.

Her place was not a rental; she'd bought it. Then again, she'd had a home to sell in Indy so she could. Property values, even for her 'hood in the 'burg, were higher than the not-so-great 'hood she'd lived in in Indy, so she didn't get much bang for her buck, but she liked it and had paid for it in full.

The layout was kinda like mine except more square. Living room to the front; kitchen to the back (not the side). Bedrooms down the hall, but there was a small study and the master bedroom was bigger and had its own three-quarter bath.

It had been a bit run-down, but we'd pulled it together with the help of Colt, Morrie, Jack, Colt's partner, Sully, Cal, Mike, and even on occasion, Merry. Precisely, I remembered Merry and Mike put in her new countertops in the kitchen and bath, and Merry re-skimmed the walls in the living room.

When we got to that living room Merry had re-skimmed, I saw Mom flat on her back on the couch.

"You best be up for movie day, honey-sicle, 'cause Gramma's p.o.o.ped right out," she told the TV, then twisted her head back to look at us over the arm of the couch. "Or, you best be up for movie day if your homework is done."

I looked down at my mom.

She'd never graduated from waitress work. She'd done that before Dad left. She did it after. She did it now. She worked at The Station and she was good at what she did. She was liked so much, regulars asked to be put in her section.

She also made decent money. Like me, not rolling in it but not eating cat food either.

And she was fifty-six. She didn't look it. She took care of herself. She was on her feet a lot, so she got exercise, and she'd always taken care of her skin. She ate a h.e.l.luva lot better than me. She gave a s.h.i.+t about how she looked, took care of her hair, dressed good. To that end, she dated. Even had a couple of men who hung around for a while, both of them treating her right, but she couldn't settle.

I got that.

Once bitten, two hundred times shy.

Her lying on the couch was bulls.h.i.+t. She was talking movies because she knew Ethan would be into that. Normally, she'd be working in her yard, deep cleaning the grout in the bathroom, or with her b.i.t.c.hes, playing poker. Even though she looked great, was fit, and had lots of energy, she had ten years left of being on her feet, schlepping food to people. Then she'd use the meager retirement she'd saved to take the sting out of living below poverty level on social security.

I hated that for her. Just like I wanted more for my boy and went all out to get it for him, I wanted more for my mom.

And there was another part of why life sucked, knowing she'd never get it and I'd never be in a place to give it to her.

I'd put her through the wringer. My little girl years were not filled with Barbies and dreams of marrying whatever British royal was moderately hot at the time but instead listening to my father beat on my mother. Then I'd gone wild, p.i.s.sed at the world that we didn't have a lot, that my dad was a d.i.c.k who didn't give a s.h.i.+t about me or my mom and showed us just that. Onward to shacking up with a junkie, letting him get me pregnant, and ending up as a stripper with a boyfriend who had about fifteen screws loose and wasn't afraid of using a hatchet.

Mom had loved me through it all, though. She'd been there for me, for Ethan, every step of the way.

And she still was.

Which meant she'd shown me the way. I might not have learned early, but the least I could give her was eventually getting there.

"Got homework," Ethan said, walking in and dumping his backpack on his gramma's coffee table. "But it'll take, like, ten seconds to do."

"We'll see about that," Mom murmured. "You do it, I check it."

"Jeez, Gram, I know the drill," Ethan returned.

"Just makin' sure you don't forget it," she replied.

Ethan did his favorite thing-rolled his eyes-then declared, "I'm gettin' a pop. You need more iced tea?"

The last was for his gramma.

"I'm good, sugar," Mom replied.

Ethan took off to the kitchen.

Mom looked to me.

"You good, Cher?" she asked.

"Good, Mom," I answered, moving in and bending low to kiss her cheek.

She had the softest skin imaginable. It was like she had a collagen facial first thing in the morning and the last thing at night every day of her life. Not many wrinkles, which boded well for me, but to top that, her skin had a softness that was surreal.

I loved it.

Always did.

Even when I was young, stupid, and being an a.s.shole.

"Have a good day at work," Mom told me as I straightened away.

"Always do," I replied, and she knew I did. Being a bartender might not be like being a jet-set supermodel, but it was a f.u.c.kuva lot better than being a stripper.

"Kid! Your mom is. .h.i.ttin' the road!" I shouted.

Ethan came in with a can of Sprite in his hand, looking at me.

"Later," he said, mouth curved up.

No hug. No kiss.

I wasted several seconds of my life wis.h.i.+ng I could turn back time, just a year, maybe two, when Ethan wouldn't let me leave without both.

When I didn't get my wish, I said, "Later."

I grinned at him. I grinned at Mom.

Then I took off.

I hit the bar and saw that Morrie was the one in to start opening. This was good. Colt might have told Feb what had happened with Merry and me, and she'd hesitate half a nanosecond in getting up in my s.h.i.+t about it.

"Yo," I called to Morrie as I hit the bar.

"Yo, babe," Morrie returned, at the cash register, putting in our float.

I went to the office to stow my purse and cardie, grabbing my cell to shove it in my back pocket, came out, and hit the back of the bar.

"Just so you know, I owe you five hundred dollars, seein' as me and Merry emptied that bottle of Talisker Friday night."

As I spoke, Morrie's eyes on me grew huge.

Now, Morrie Owens, he was cute. A big ole bear of a man with a protective streak, a great sense of humor, and a deep love of family.

"Say the f.u.c.k what?" he asked.

"Mia," I answered quietly.

His surprise left and he looked to the cash register, muttering, "s.h.i.+t." His eyes came back to me. "Shoulda known."

"Merry did the bottle some damage, but I kept him company after closing and we emptied it. Not his choice. He was up for calling a taxi. So I'll catch you at end of s.h.i.+ft with my tips and hit the ATM tomorrow before I come to work."

He shook his head, attention back to the register where he was closing the cash drawer. "That'll be me and Feb's contribution to the cause of Merry bein' a dumb f.u.c.k and not claimin' back his woman."

That p.i.s.sed me off, and being me, I let it be known.

"All was fair in life, Mia Merrick would waltz her round a.s.s in here and pay you that five hundred for being an even dumber f.u.c.k and not claimin' back her man."

Morrie looked back to me, and I might have worried about what he'd read in my words if I was the kind of woman everyone knew me not to be.

"Wasn't her whose mom was murdered in her own d.a.m.ned home when she was a kid," I carried on. "Wasn't her sister who was in that house and heard that s.h.i.+t go down. Wasn't her who had to live with that, grief buried deep, none of that family havin' the tools to sort out their heads. But it was her who had a man who lived that, and it was her who didn't stand by that man. So, far's I'm concerned, he's good that he's finally shot of her. Maybe next time, he'll find a better one."

And I hoped that to be true. It would kill, but I still hoped it would turn true. I'd be good with Merry happy. It would suck, but it'd still be good.

And anyway, that was life.

Or it was my life.

"You know, didn't think of it that way, but you're far from wrong," Morrie told me.

"No s.h.i.+t?" I asked.