Weird Things Customers Say In Bookshops Part 14

BOY: Mummy, can I have this book? Mummy, can I have this book?

WOMAN: Go and see if your dad will buy it for you. Go and see if your dad will buy it for you.

BOY: Dad! Mummy says if you don't buy me this book, then you can't sleep in her bed tonight! Dad! Mummy says if you don't buy me this book, then you can't sleep in her bed tonight!

Eleanor Potten: Book End, Bakewell, Derbys.h.i.+re, UK Book End, Bakewell, Derbys.h.i.+re, UK

CUSTOMER: Have you got Have you got Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence?

BOOKSELLER (pulling the book off the shelf) (pulling the book off the shelf): Sure. That will be 5.99, please.

WOMAN: ... Hasn't he written anything cheaper? ... Hasn't he written anything cheaper?

Zoe King: Hatchards, Ipswich, UK Hatchards, Ipswich, UK

CUSTOMER: Do you have any Do you have any bookish bookish books? books?

Emma Milne-White: The Hungerford Bookshop, Berks.h.i.+re, UK The Hungerford Bookshop, Berks.h.i.+re, UK CUSTOMER: I'd like to return this CD. It's scratched. I'd like to return this CD. It's scratched.

BOOKSELLER: It ... you must have bought it next door. It ... you must have bought it next door.

(Customer looks around, surprised.) CUSTOMER: Oh, this isn't HMV! Where's HMV gone? Oh, this isn't HMV! Where's HMV gone?

BOOKSELLER: ... It's still next door... . It's still next door.

CUSTOMER: If I were to, say... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in? If I were to, say... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in?

Maria Duff: Waterstone's, Scotch Hall, Drogheda, Ireland Waterstone's, Scotch Hall, Drogheda, Ireland.

CUSTOMER: Excuse me, I don't know the t.i.tle, the author or what the book's about, but I know there were two words in the t.i.tle ... Excuse me, I don't know the t.i.tle, the author or what the book's about, but I know there were two words in the t.i.tle ...

BOOKSELLER: Ok, where did you see it? Ok, where did you see it?

CUSTOMER: Can't remember - please don't rush me. The two words were 'something' and 'something'. Can't remember - please don't rush me. The two words were 'something' and 'something'.

BOOKSELLER: 'Something and something'? That doesn't ring a bell I'm afraid, do you remember what the book looked like? 'Something and something'? That doesn't ring a bell I'm afraid, do you remember what the book looked like?

CUSTOMER: Can't you just search for it? Can't you just search for it?

BOOKSELLER: But ... I don't have anything to search for. But ... I don't have anything to search for.

CUSTOMER: (Takes a pen and paper) (Takes a pen and paper) Look, just type this '... . . And ... . .' into the computer. I can't believe you are so stupid! Look, just type this '... . . And ... . .' into the computer. I can't believe you are so stupid!

Former bookseller: Waterstone's, UK Waterstone's, UK CUSTOMER: Do you know of any shop near here which might sell bibles? Do you know of any shop near here which might sell bibles?

BOOKSELLER: ... yes... . yes.

CUSTOMER: Where? Where?

BOOKSELLER: Er ... here. Er ... here.

David Rees: Books Alive [Christian Bookshop], Brighton and Hove, UK Books Alive [Christian Bookshop], Brighton and Hove, UK

CUSTOMER (upon entering) (upon entering): So. What does this shop do?

BOOKSELLER: We're a bookshop. We sell books. We're a bookshop. We sell books.

CUSTOMER: Oh. How does that work? Oh. How does that work?

BOOKSELLER: Err ... Err ...

Tanya Caunce, TLC Books, Manly, Queensland, Australia TLC Books, Manly, Queensland, Australia.

CUSTOMER (pointing at the cover of Perdido Street Station by China Mieville) (pointing at the cover of Perdido Street Station by China Mieville): Excuse me, how do you p.r.o.nounce this writer's name?

BOOKSELLER: Well, I've heard people say Mee-ville, but I think, because of the accent, it's Me-eh-ville. Well, I've heard people say Mee-ville, but I think, because of the accent, it's Me-eh-ville.

CUSTOMER: No, I mean his first name. No, I mean his first name.

BOOKSELLER: ... Well, it's, ... Well, it's, China China like the country. like the country.

CUSTOMER: The country? The country?

BOOKSELLER: ... ...

Sophie Mayer: Clerkenwell Tales, London, UK. Clerkenwell Tales, London, UK.

CUSTOMER (an elderly lady with Dutch accent) (an elderly lady with Dutch accent): Do you have any books around here?

BOOKSELLER: Um, yes. Um, yes.

CUSTOMER: Where? Where?

BOOKSELLER: Um, well, everywhere... Um, well, everywhere...

CUSTOMER: I don't understand. Where is books? I don't understand. Where is books?

ANOTHER BOOKSELLER: Ah. I think she is looking for Boots you know, the Ah. I think she is looking for Boots you know, the chemist chemist ... ...

BOOKSELLER: Oh! Oh!

Martin Brailli: Waterstone's, Reading, UK Waterstone's, Reading, UK

CUSTOMER ( (holding a copy of 'Inside WikiLeaks'): What about this Willileaks Willileaks book, is it any good? book, is it any good?

BOOKSELLER: Um, do you mean Um, do you mean Wikileaks Wikileaks? Willileaks Willileaks is a topic I have little to no knowledge about. is a topic I have little to no knowledge about.

Jamaica Zuanetti: Berkelouw Books, Melbourne, Australia Berkelouw Books, Melbourne, Australia.

CUSTOMER: I don't know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of I don't know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of The Dinosaur Cookbook The Dinosaur Cookbook.

BOOKSELLER: The Dinah Sh.o.r.e Cookbook The Dinah Sh.o.r.e Cookbook?

CUSTOMER: That must be it; I wondered what she was up to. That must be it; I wondered what she was up to.

Elizabeth Durand: Bookland of Maine, USA Bookland of Maine, USA.

CUSTOMER: The things on the walls... The things on the walls...

BOOKSELLER: Bookshelves? Bookshelves?

CUSTOMER: Yes. Yes.

(Pause.) CUSTOMER: Do people still have them in their homes? Do people still have them in their homes?

BOOKSELLER: Yes, I think so. Yes, I think so.

CUSTOMER: My friend's just made some - would you be able to sell them for him? My friend's just made some - would you be able to sell them for him?