Mad World: Fall From Grace Part 13

I didn't want to be found in the bathroom with Carl Sumpton's body, so I hoisted myself up to the open window and jumped into the alleyway below. Thank G.o.d, the bar was on the first floor or I would have broken a few bones. I ran through the darkness trying to carefully step in places where I'd leave no footprints in the snow. There seemed to be enough garbage and c.r.a.p strewn throughout the alley to make that possible.

My mind ran in circles. Why in the world was Azazel around? Wasn't he stuck in some supernatural prison somewhere? I was the only one of what? And really why was the freaking place on my arm that Shane licked still making me tingle and giddy like kid in a toy store? I needed to talk to Gabriel.

I ran to the apartment, praying in my mind that Gabriel would be there waiting.

I could hear Conner and Lea murmuring and giggling in the living room when I opened the front door. I locked the deadbolt behind me, which echoed a loud click throughout the apartment; silencing their sounds. I quickly walked through the hallway without stopping to speak to them.

"Gray?" Lea called out.

"Yep, just me. I'm beat. I'm calling it a night. Goodnight, guys!" I called back as I closed my door. My room was empty.

I leaned my forehead on the hard wood of the door. Tears stung at my eyes, but I blinked them back. I pressed my hands against the door and spread my fingers across the grain of the wood. I felt the coa.r.s.e grooves, ran my fingers over the knotty uneven surface of it. My head spun. Shamsiel. Would I truly never see him again? Azazel? What would he get out of killing me, and how would he, when I'd only be thrown into another body? Gabriel? Could I trust him? He was one of the angels who helped to destroy the Nephilim and helped bind the fallen ones to their prisons. Last one? Am I the last of the human souls? I thought it was just me, I hadn't known any of the others were punished along with me. I thought they were destroyed along with the Nephilim. Shane? Why did I keep thinking about him when he had nothing to do with any of this?

Someone started banging at the front door. Shane. Voices raised; footsteps thundered down the hallway.

I heard the floor boards creak on the other side of my door. I could hear his breath, "Grace..." Then something hard thumped against the door right above my head. I pictured Shane in the same position as me with our faces almost touching but for the inch of wood between us.

"Grace. Please let me in. I'm...sorry."

I lifted my head and walked away. There was way too much...intensity, too much tension between us; this body was not capable of handling Shane. He'd probably eat me alive. Unfortunately, that sounded so very delicious to me.

I heard his foot kick the door and his body slide down to the floor. "I'm sleeping on the floor then. Right here." His head thumped against my door again. "Oh. Man. This is so comfortable, Grace. Really. Very." His sarcastic tone made the b.u.t.terflies in my belly flip around again. There was no meanness to his voice. It was raspy and silky and somehow made all the crazy thoughts in my head blur and only focus on him.

I walked to the window and pushed the curtain aside. The walkway below was pristine white and glistening. I clicked off my ceiling light and clicked on my bedside lamp. I rummaged through my drawers and found my tank top-boy shorts sleepwear. Pulling off my rock G.o.ddess outfit and pulling on my sleepwear, I wished I could wash my makeup off in the bathroom.

From out in the hallway I heard some rustling. Maybe he was leaving? A few b.u.mps and curses. Laughing at the noise, I settled myself under my covers and closed my eyes.

Shane cleared his throat, kicked at my door again and the sound of my guitar filled the room. I sat straight up in my bed. Those beautiful caged b.u.t.terflies were thras.h.i.+ng their delicate wings against my harsh dark insides. Every single thought of Azazel's visit flew from my mind, each note embracing a thought and hiding it in the darkness.

Shane played a slow melody I had never heard before. Its beginning was low and wistful, transforming into a pa.s.sionate yearning melody. His awe-inspiring voice hummed along with the tune, whispered words tickled against my ears.

I opened the door.

Shane stood in the hallway, eyes wide, devouring me with his stare. The music faded or stopped, I had no clue. I focused my eyes on my guitar, my divine instrument in his hands.

He pulled the strap over his head and carried the guitar into my room, closing the door behind him.

"Please, look at me, Grace."

Sliding the guitar out of his hands, he leaned it against the wall. My eyes stayed on the instrument.

"Grace, please look at me." He stepped closer to me, blocking me from staring at the guitar. So I stared blankly at his crotch, or where the guitar was located behind his crotch.

I couldn't even say how he got so close to me. I hadn't noticed his movements. I tried not to even notice him, but there he was so close that I felt the heat from his body. He touched my chin with his hand and I finally lifted my eyes to his.

"Grace...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

I suddenly felt the cool wall press up against my back. I hadn't known I was backing away from him, but I leaned against it for moral support. And, just like he'd done twice before, he rested his forehead against mine.

"Tell me. Tell me, Grace, that you don't feel this. Please. Tell me and I will walk right out of here." He touched his lips to my jaw; his words were hot on my skin. My heart skidded in my chest. No reasonable thoughts came to my mind, only the warm sensation of his lips moving gently down my neck.

He pressed his body against mine, one hand slowly sliding down to my waist, tracing his fingertips along my skin.

"Talk to me, Grace, please," he begged pulling back.

My body moved with him. I placed my hands on his chest and grasped his s.h.i.+rt in my fists.

His hand tightened on my waist and with his other, he twisted fingers through my hair. "Grace...One kiss, please. Let me taste you," he pleaded, pus.h.i.+ng his body harder against mine.

A small moan escaped from my lips. "Shane..." I stood on my tiptoes and brushed my lips past his. Both of us hesitated, breathing in each other.

"Say my name again," he begged, as he slid his hand down my hips and pulled my leg up around him. My body ached, pounded, and spasmed; I was almost delirious.

"Shane," I whispered, moving my lips over his mouth. He trembled.

He growled low, cras.h.i.+ng his lips into mine. Every single inch of my body pulsed against his. His fingertips skated beneath the lace of my panties. I grabbed at him, sliding my hands through his hair. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, which only made him kiss me deeper and harder. I spun out of control.

He pulled his lips away, panting, as he stared into my eyes. His fingers slipped deeper under the lace. I stopped his hand before his fingers could press inside me.

"Shane. Stop. I can't..." I felt the tears br.i.m.m.i.n.g in my eyes. It was killing me to tell him to stop.

He let my leg slowly slide down his hip from where he had placed it. His soft fingertips traveled up to my neck, until both his hands cupped my face, searching my eyes.

"Grace...I think,"

I stretched my fingers across his chest. "Please. Shane...don't. This was a huge mistake." Even though I pushed my hands against his chest, my body still arched towards his.

His eyes frantically searched mine. One foolish tear escaped down my cheek. I quickly turned my face, not wanting him to see anymore. Both his hands flew up to his hair, grasping at it. "Grace...please. You would never be a mistake to me."

Turning my back on him, I walked to the window and pushed the curtain back. "Shane, drop it. I'm not one of your groupies that you just met at the bar, I wasn't screaming for you and throwing my clothes at you, and I don't give a c.r.a.p how good you play or how s.e.xy you look on stage, none of it will make me sleep with you. So just keep the normal line you feed to your s.k.a.n.ks to yourself," I snapped.

Grabbing me by the waist, Shane lifted me easily off the floor and tossed me on my bed. He dove on top of me, straddling me, pinning my arms above my head. Dear G.o.d, I wanted to scream, but it was so freaking erotic that every inch of my body screamed for his.

His face hovered over mine. "Shut. Up. Don't. Just don't say anything else." He moved his body next to mine and gathered me into his arms. "Just sleep, Grace," he whispered and he pressed closer to me, softly laying one single kiss on my angel's wings.

Chapter 11.

Someone slowly traced their fingertips down my spine, leaving trails of burning fire in their wake. I woke up in sheer panic, my heart fluttering wildly, while I was tangled in my sheets next to Shane.

He gave me a mischievous grin and a steaming cup of coffee. "Hey, I got you some coffee."

Without hesitation, I grabbed the coffee. I held the cup up to my lips, with the bitter aroma pleasantly filling the air, and I took a sip. Shane knew how to make my coffee? "Thanks. Did you make this or did Lea?"

His eyebrows burrowed together and his face darkened. He stood up and yanked off his s.h.i.+rt, the same one he'd worn last night, and threw it in my hamper. "Don't worry, Grace, they're still sleeping. No one will think we had s.e.x, and if anyone asks, I'll make sure everyone knows you don't want me," he snapped, as he rummaged through a bag near the door. Did he actually have a bag of clothes here in my freaking room, as if he was moving in? He pulled out another tee s.h.i.+rt and held it in his hands, standing there waiting for me to reply. His muscles were taut and tense. He really is too s.e.xy for his own good.

I sipped my coffee and placed the cup on my nightstand. I started wrapping the sheets around me to get up, but then figured that it really didn't matter if he saw me in my sleeping attire, since he had practically seen me in it every day. "I didn't ask that to see if Lea or Conner thought we slept together. I was just wondering if you or Lea made the coffee, exactly like I asked." I stood up from the bed and stretched my arms over my head.

His lips parted. His eyes dilated, following my every movement. His expression tightened and his body stiffened more with tension. He charged toward me, eyes blazing with anger? Fear? Longing? Hate? "Right, sure. Well, why not, let's talk about s.h.i.+t that doesn't matter. Lea is sleeping and I made the freaking coffee! What is it, too strong for you? And let me just put this out in the open, so that I don't get accused of playing games or whatever the h.e.l.l your warped mind thinks I do. I am so freaking glad I didn't sleep with you, Grace, because you and me would be horrible. The s.e.x would suck and I wouldn't have to look at you and pretend you were more than a hole to stick my d.i.c.k in for the next six weeks!" Contrary, to his words, his expression flooded with hurt and he turned away from me, grabbing my robe off the closet door and then throwing it at me.

Catching the robe, I walked pa.s.sed him and dropped it at his feet. When I got in front of him, I looked him deadpan in the eyes. "Thanks for the heads up on how s.e.x would have been with you. But, honestly Shane, I just wanted to know if you actually had gone out of your way to know the exact way I take my coffee, because that just would have been...sweet."

I spun on the heels of my feet, grabbed an armful of clothes from my dresser drawers and grabbed the doork.n.o.b.

"Grace, stop."

"Go screw yourself, Shane." I turned the doork.n.o.b and stood in the doorway. "Consider your duty to babysit me done, since you stayed here last night to protect me and I still ended up hurt." I walked out of my room, closing the door softly behind me, more confused than ever. I didn't understand why Shane had said what he did, but whatever the reason, it was over and I needed to figure out what to do with the rest of this existence.

I changed into my running clothes in the bathroom and finally got the chance to wash the makeup from the night before off my face. When I shut the faucet off, I heard the sounds of hushed voices in the kitchen. I couldn't help but put my ear close to the wall and listen. Well, I am only human.

"...is driving me crazy, I can't take the s.h.i.+t I said back. She's f.u.c.king killing me."

I opened the door, not wanting to hear anymore, it didn't matter if he wanted to take back anything he said, he wasn't important.

I rushed through the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"Where are you going?" Lea asked.

"For a run," I said.

"Alone?" she asked looking from me to Shane.

"Lea. This is New York City. Eight million people live here, I won't be alone," I said walking out the front door.

I ran. I ran and then ran some more. I didn't stop. I lost count how many times I circled the park. I lost track of time, as I just ran looking for Gabriel.

When the sky had been dark for a while and my body could take no more, I sat down on an empty bench. I knew I had a show to do with the band at ten. The thought swam distantly around in the back of my head. I held my head in my hands and the tears finally broke free.

A warm hand touched my shoulder and a sublime feeling crashed through my body. Gabriel.

Without even looking at him, without even a hesitation, with all the innocence of a child, I threw myself into his arms. I felt him smile. Calmness washed over my body.

"I don't understand what's going on, Gabriel," I sniffled.

"The fallen ones do not want you and Shamsiel ever to be reunited." Gabriel's always-stoic face gave the smallest impression of sadness. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had no idea he had escaped. I won't ever let anything hurt you." His beautiful hands cupped my jaw in a human way that made me want to jump and run. This was Gabriel, though. He was one of the archangels. He had no human emotions, no l.u.s.t, and no needs.

I let him hold me until I thought I could face this existence again. I didn't ask him anymore questions, because I knew he wouldn't give me answers. I didn't want to tell him about Shane and the feelings that he stirred in me. I didn't want to beg for him to tell me where Shamsiel was, because I knew he'd never tell me. He kissed my forehead softly when I said goodbye.

I walked home and without talking with anyone, I jumped in the shower and got ready for the gig at Boozer's. I expected there to be news about finding Carl Sumpton's body in the women's bathroom last night, but Lea and Conner didn't mention anything to me.

Lea knocked on my door as I was getting dressed. My clothes were hanging over every surface of my bedroom, flung to their spots by anger. I wore an old pair of jeans and a huge black sweater. "There is no way I'm letting you out of this room looking like the Frump Queen. What's going on with you?"

I shook my head and collapsed onto my bed. I wasn't about to get into any serious conversation with her about my visit with a fallen angel who was trying to kill me, or an archangel who I hoped was trying to help me, or how I just wanted Shane to be a monogamous-liking guy who could make me forget everything. "I have nothing to wear."

She picked through the piles of my clothes and handed me the perfect outfit, of course. "I'm talking about you and Shane, Grace. What's going on?"

I gave her the most disgusted look that I could muster up. "Nothing. Abso-freaking-lutely nothing."

She walked right up to my face. "Really? Because, Grace, since your accident, when you woke up swearing off all boys unless they come packing wings, I've never seen anyone sway your resolve but Shane. You let him stay in your bed last night, after kissing him. You didn't kick him out."

"I tried to, but he wouldn't leave." I clenched my teeth. He told her we kissed?

"Yeah, well explain it to me then how when you and him are on stage in front of a crowd of hundreds of people it feels like we are all invading your privacy. The way you both look at each other is unreal, Grace." She sat down next to me and placed her hands on mine. "Did you feel anything when you kissed him?"

"Lea, this body blurs all the edges of reality for me. Of course, it wanted him. But for what? One single night? So the next day he could pick up some other chick at the bar and I'll have to watch? Besides, the last thing he said to me is that we'd be horrible together, s.e.x would be lousy and I'd just be another hole to stick his d.i.c.k in for the next six weeks."

"That's what he said?"

"His exact words."

Her mouth fell open, "He said he was really mean to you, and that he..."

"Stop, Lea. It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter," I said getting up. "Come on and make me look like a rock star."

We did our makeup in silence. I didn't have anything more to say about Shane, the subject was closed. I needed a way out of here. I needed a way to find what I was looking for without being in Grace's life. Grace was supposed to die in the car accident ten years ago, so she shouldn't be here any longer. And my soul should not be in a body that was consumed with a hunger for some idiot who could kiss me so pa.s.sionately that I could forget who I really was.

It was snowing again when we walked to the bar; big giant chunks of feathery ice. Conner looked up at the sky, "Looks like the angels are having another pillow fight." The old expression warmed my heart.

The bar was packed again; I'd say five times the amount of people than the night before. For the first time that day, I felt a smile creep across my face.

Again, I waited for someone to mention finding a dead body in the bathroom the night before, but no one did. Maybe he wasn't truly dead yet.

Ethan waved us over to a table filled with everyone. Ethan sat next to a beautiful red headed girl named Vicki. Brayden had a shorthaired girl on his lap and Alex was with Cara. Tucker was also there and smiled a curt h.e.l.lo to me. Shane was nowhere to be found. I figured he was in the back room catching up on his s.e.xual escapades. Jealously burned through my body. No way is this good.

Tucker pulled over a chair for me.

I must have given him a curious look, because he felt like he had to explain himself.

"Yes, I'm an a.s.shole. I have so much to apologize for." He patted the seat of the chair and handed me a beer.

I sat down, placing my guitar between Tucker and me, just to make sure he wouldn't be able to touch me.

Tucker offered small talk after his apology, but I didn't respond too often.

Everyone else chatted, but I heard nothing. I searched around the bar for Shane, and then wanted to hurl myself off a building for doing it. The more I thought about him with someone else the antsier my body felt. As the minutes pa.s.sed, it got worse. I jumped up and lugged my guitar and myself into the bathroom. Lea was too busy in some sort of heated discussion with one of the other girls to notice.

I half expected to see Carl sitting on one of the toilets, but the room was empty. "Azazel?" I whispered. No one answered. If he knew how to get me out of this h.e.l.lish punishment, then maybe I needed another talk with him, just for informational purposes.

I washed my hands and put on some more lipstick, and then made my way back through the crowds. I glanced over to the stage and saw Shane sitting by himself in the back, just out of view. I didn't know if he was alone, but I jumped onto the stage anyway.

He sat on a metal folding chair with his legs up on another chair, playing his guitar. He lifted his head only slightly when he noticed me, but he didn't stop playing.

"Hey," I said. "What's doing?" I brazenly pushed his legs off the second chair and sat down.