Lost: A New Adult Contemporary Romance Part 18

"Wow, what a stuck-up p.r.i.c.k," I whisper to Maria, and she grins and nods in agreement.

Grumpy the Bartender returns with our drinks a few minutes later. I turn to Maria and raise mine to offer a toast.

"To trying new things."

"To getting outside our sh.e.l.ls," she answers, and I know exactly what she means.

I can drink to that.

I'm feeling a little wobbly as I head out onto the dance floor with Maria by my side, but the booze is the only thing keeping me from running for the door right now. I feel like everyone's watching me and waiting to laugh when I fall on my face. I should know better than that by now, but I'm still nervous and embarra.s.sed as the instructor tries to show me what to do.

"Okay, you take her hand like this," he says, placing Maria's left hand in mine as we face each other, "and then put your right hand on her shoulder blade."

She smiles at me and squeezes my hand gently as the dance instructor forces us into the right positions, and then he starts to walk us through the steps.

"Left, tap, left... right, tap, right... back, rock," he calls out, keeping the beat for us as we shuffle awkwardly back and forth on the dance floor. I'm staring down at Maria's black flats the whole time and still somehow keep stepping on her toes.

"Alright, you're getting there," lies the instructor, and he stops us again.

"Next thing you two need to learn is a basic spin," he tells us. Maria smiles and I can't tell if she's nervous or excited. Maybe she's both.

"It's the same timing, but now it's your turn to get some special steps in," he tells Maria as he walks around us in a circle. "This young gentleman is going to push you out under his left arm with his right hand, and..."

He trails off as he sees the cast on my arm.

"Dude, your hand's broken," he points out, as if I didn't already know.

"Oh my G.o.d!" I exclaim dramatically. "When did that happen? I never noticed the cast!"

Maria giggles at my stupid act, and I feel like I'm the king of the world, broken hand or not. The instructor rolls his eyes at me.

"All right, missy," groans the instructor as he turns to Maria. "You're going to have to grab his hand during some of the spins, so just make sure you get the tips of his fingers, okay? Stay away from the thumb."

"Got it," she answers, nodding intensely as she takes in his words.

A jaunty song blares over the speaker system, and the instructor grins at me and flashes a thumbs-up.

"Okay, get ready, you two! And, one... two... go!"

The only way I can keep the beat for even a moment is to count out loud, and when I finally look up from my feet, I'm relieved to see Maria doing the exact same thing.

"One and two," I mutter. "Three and four... back, rock..."

Ten minutes pa.s.s as we go back and forth in place, and then suddenly it all clicks for me. It's like when Maria showed me how to s...o...b..ard properly-everything just makes sense now.

Now it's time for some fun.

Tina floats past us, completely ignoring the rule about the guy leading the way, and she sticks out her tongue at us as she pushes Craig around the dance floor. Maria and I return the gesture in unison and then burst out laughing.

"You hanging in there?" I ask, and she nods back excitedly. Her smile is radiant tonight.

"Okay, then hang in there a little more!" I call out, and I send her out for a spin.

Maria laughs as she ducks under my arm and spins out away from me. Her dress billows up around her and shows off her long, incredibly s.e.xy legs. It's all I can do not to stop dead in my tracks and stare. G.o.d, it's hard enough to keep my hands off of her without seeing that!

Excitement and longing flicker to life inside me as I reel her back in-her eyes glittering with happiness-and then send her out for one more gratuitous spin. My mind is filled with wonderfully dirty thoughts now, and it's all I can do not to pull her back in, put my arms around her and kiss her right this second.

Maria gets more confident as song after song flies by, and I do my best to keep up with her. As I pull her back in from a spin, she ducks under my arm and raises hers to push me out for a spin of my own. She's picking up moves from other couples on the floor now-teaching me how to lead her into them-and I simply can't get enough of her.

I'm the worst dancer in the world-and I'm sure Maria's toes would agree with me on that-but c.r.a.ppy, clumsy dancer or not, I'm with the girl of my dreams and I've never been happier in my life.

Friday, March 8 10:45 PM.

Maria.

Never in my entire life do I remember being this happy.

I'm not sure exactly when Tina and Craig left, but I know that Owen and I stayed out dancing long after they departed. Everything was amazing tonight, from the moment I first took Owen's hand on the dance floor, to the first spin, to when I finally, reluctantly had to stop from exhaustion.

I'm a sweaty mess now, but I feel like laughing in delight with every breath I take. I can't stop smiling as Owen and I walk down the hill toward our apartment complex, and it's as if I'm walking on air. My legs are so tired from dancing, but I feel like I could still find enough energy to jump for joy.

What an unbelievable night!

"Thanks for taking me out with you," I whisper, leaning my head on Owen's shoulder as we walk.

"Hey, I wanted to dance with you," he answers, leaning down and kissing me softly on the forehead. "Besides, what fun would it have been to go alone?"

Owen puts an arm around my waist, but instead of the nervous panic I usually feel, I'm warm and relaxed. Why can't I always feel like this? This is how it ought to be-I should be able to feel safe and comfortable with someone, not always worrying that something terrible will happen to me.

Owen's embrace warms me against the freezing night air, and I snuggle up against him as we walk. My bare legs are still cold, but for some reason, the temperature doesn't bother me as much now that his arm is around me.

My phone beeps in the pocket of my coat just as we reach the top of the long staircase, and I stop to read Tina's message.

"Lacey and Dinah BOTH brought guys home tonight. More s.e.x than a p.o.r.no. Going to a movie with C to wait them out. Hope you had fun 2nite!"

I groan and shake my head. Lacey and Dinah both get obnoxiously loud when they're with their boyfriends, and I don't want to deal with it. Not tonight.

"So, um... cocoa at my place doesn't look like it'll work," I mumble awkwardly. "Lacey and Dinah have the place... occupied."

Owen chuckles and shakes his head as he leans back against the lamppost.

"Well, we can't just wait out here in the cold. How about my place?" he proposes. "I'll take a rain-check on that cocoa."

"Sure!" I answer happily. "But... can you do one thing for me first?"

"Yeah?"

"Spin me again before we go!" I beg. I'm still giddy from dancing, and I want to feel the excitement one more time.

He smiles at me and my heart turns over in my chest.

All I want to do is bask in the moment as he takes me in his arms and dances with me at the top of the stairs. His hand is comforting against my back, and I feel like I could stare into his warm, gray eyes forever. He sends me out for a spin, and I feel the cold wind whip against my legs as my black dress billows up around me.

It took me a long time to get used to wearing a dress again, and even with Tina's support, I was uncomfortable going out in it. I didn't like the idea of my legs showing-the idea that anyone who wanted to would be able to touch me-but Owen's reaction to me tonight made it okay. In my mind, I can still see his look of adoration from when he first saw me in my dress. I've never felt so pretty or so wanted.

He pulls me back in, holds me close to him, and kisses me softly. I want to melt into his arms as his lips brush against mine, and I put my arms around his neck and let myself go. I can taste the salt on his lips from a long night of dancing, and if it weren't so cold, I'd linger here with him all night long.

The icy wind buffets us again and prods us to go inside.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," he whispers to me as we walk hand in hand down the stairs toward his apartment. Something about his tone makes it sound like a confession-as if he's not supposed to admit that he enjoyed going out dancing.

"I had a wonderful time," I gush, squeezing his hand and kissing him on his cold cheek. "This was the best night ever. Seriously!"

He smiles shyly at my kiss, and I kiss him again for looking so adorable.

The apartment is warm, empty, and quiet since Craig is still out at the movies with Tina, and I happily cuddle up next to Owen on the sofa. I feel so warm and cozy snuggling up next to him that I don't need cocoa anymore.

"What was your favorite part of the night?" asks Owen, looking at me with bright eyes and a warm smile. He puts his arm around me, and I smile and lean my head on his shoulder. I can barely think straight with all these wonderful feelings coursing through my head.

"Oh, I have no idea!" I stammer, sitting up as I try to think. Was it the dance instructor's reaction to his broken hand? The way he looked at me when he first saw me? No... I know what it was.

"Getting to dance with you," I whisper. "I'd never have been brave enough on my own, and you convinced me to get outside my sh.e.l.l and do something amazing."

His smile is so wide and happy that you'd think I'd given him a puppy.

"How about you?"

"Hmm... tough question," mutters Owen, his brow furrowing as he thinks. He leans back on the sofa with his hands behind his head.

"I can't decide! Can I give you two answers?" he begs, and I pretend to think about it before agreeing.

"First... getting to see you so happy," he answers, and I blush. "You're really beautiful when you smile, and I'm happy I got to see it."

"So what's the second answer?" I ask as he lapses into painful silence. The first answer was lovely, but it was about me. I want to know what his favorite part was!

"Um... never mind," he stammers awkwardly.

"You said you had two!" I press. "Come on. Please?"

"Promise you won't beat me up?"

I nod back, and just as I'm about to promise not to hit him, he quickly leans over and kisses me.

Nervous panic flickers to life inside my chest, but the amazing warmth spreading through my body quickly smothers my fear and ignites a burning desire in its place. My heart pounds in excitement as he takes me in his arms and holds me close. My arms find their way around him as I snuggle up against him, and I return his ardent kiss. I can hardly think through the euphoric haze clouding my mind, and all I want to do is let our lips play together and bask in the beautiful feelings coursing through my body.

I can feel myself grinning like a fool when we finally come up to catch our breath. G.o.d, I feel so good tonight!

"My favorite thing tonight was getting to touch you," he whispers in my ear. I s.h.i.+ver and breathe in sharply as I feel his hot breath against my ear. A strange, scary and wonderful feeling rises inside me-something different from just kissing him-and I'm not sure what it is. My body is reacting to the desire in his voice in a way I don't think I've ever felt before.

I kiss him again to try to distract myself from the feeling, but all it does is make the feeling grow stronger inside me. I close my eyes as our kisses get more and more frantic and pa.s.sionate, and the glorious, euphoric fog rises inside my mind.

I break away from him to catch a gasp of air, my mind reeling from desire, and then throw myself back into his embrace. I can barely breathe from how tightly he holds me, but I don't care. I desperately need his arms around me and his lips against mine. I need it more than air.

My lips part on their own to match his, and an incomprehensible feeling of intimacy overwhelms me as his tongue finds mine. It's the weirdest feeling-like our tongues are trying to dance together-and my pulse starts to pound in my head as I press my body against his.

This is the furthest I've ever made it with him, I suddenly realize. The last time he held me like this-even without the kissing-I flipped out. I'm immensely proud of myself for one brief moment before my desire shoves the thought out of my mind and directs my attention back to Owen's gorgeous gray eyes.

I want more. I want so much more.

As I lay back on the couch, I grab Owen by the shoulders and pull him down on top of me. He looks down at me nervously, and I give him back the warmest smile I can.

"Maria... are you okay with this?" he asks me nervously. The last time he was on top of me, back at the ski slope, I nearly knocked his teeth out.

I nod excitedly and pull him down to kiss me. My lips crash into his as desire boils into a strange, beautiful feeling of urgency inside me. I need him to kiss me, and I need it right now. I need it more than I need to breathe, and I see stars when I finally pull away to gasp for air.

"I'm okay," I whisper breathlessly. "I want to try, Owen."

"Tell me when to stop, okay? I don't want you to get hurt," he whispers back, and the look on his face takes my breath away. I've never seen so much care and concern in one person's face before, and it's all for me. Even with the problems I've had, I'm the luckiest girl alive.

Without another word, I pull him down against me, almost pressing me into the sofa. He props himself up with his elbow-being careful not to put too much weight on his cast-and he kisses me again. His lips brush gently against my skin, hovering tenuously above me as I tremble in excitement, and just as I feel I can't wait another second, he dives in and lets me join him in a loving, pa.s.sionate kiss. He softly caresses my cheek as our lips play together, and an uncontrollable s.h.i.+ver shoots down my spine, igniting every nerve it pa.s.ses on the way.

I feel like I'm suffocating with every kiss, but I want it to be like this! I want him this close to me, to feel his body against mine, his strong chest pressing against my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and I draw him closer still. Our tongues find each other's again, and I tremble as I grab his hand and place it against my hip. An unexpected groan of delight escapes through my lips as he kisses me on my neck. It's as if every kiss leaves a tiny burst of flame behind as his lips move down my body.

With each fiery kiss down my neck, the fog in my mind grows thicker. My brain is so lost in the haze of desire that it's letting my body do what it wants without question now, and it doesn't even register when my hand darts out and grabs his again. I pant breathlessly, gasping for air between kisses as I wrap one leg around him and pull his hand down to the hem of my skirt.

"Maria?"

I hear his nervous voice drift in through the wonderful, heavenly haze engulfing my senses, but I don't answer. I'm in too deep to come back out now. My eyes squeeze shut as I press his palm flat against my bare skin and slowly guide it up my leg. I'm shaking so much that I feel as if I'm about to explode, but I'm not afraid anymore. I feel amazing and excited in a way I've never felt before.

I feel alive.

I release his hand-leaving it to do whatever it's going to do-and run my hands through his soft, blond hair and kiss him urgently. His hand slowly inches up my leg, almost as if he's nervous that he might go too far. It's funny how our roles switched like this-for once in my life, I'm not the one who's scared.

Owen's hand inches ticklishly up my leg, higher and higher, lifting my skirt as it moves. The feeling of the fabric rising against my thighs suddenly triggers something dark in the back of my mind, and Darren flickers to life inside my head, leering at me as he lifts my skirt.

No! He's not doing this to me! Not tonight-not after how hard I've tried to break the chains! My burning desire for Owen is stronger than my fears tonight, and the terrifying image disappears as quickly as it emerged.

His hand is soft against my skin, but the wonderful feeling is amplified somehow by my realization of what's we're doing. His hand is beneath my dress, sliding closer and closer to my underwear, and it feels amazing. I've pushed past Darren for the first time in my life!

The excitement swelling in my chest is new and different. My body wants him in a way I've never felt before, and as scared as I should be by the unfamiliar feelings, I really like them.