Treading Water: Coming Home Part 5

Why did it seem that so much rode on her one-word answer? After a long moment of internal debate, Jill typed her response.

Yes.

Excellent. Wear jeans. Tight jeans preferably.

She refused to dignify that comment with a response. Rattled by the conversation and the date she'd just agreed to, Jill went into her closet and sorted through a stack of jeans she'd hardly ever worn, looking for the pair that Kate once told her did wonders for her a.s.s.

If there was ever a time for jeans that did wonders for her a.s.s, this was it.

"Oh my G.o.d," she whispered to the clothes hanging in her closet. "What the h.e.l.l did I just agree to?"

The minute the plane took off for the three-and-a-half-hour flight to Ba.s.seterre in St. Kitts, Kate began to regret her impulsive decision. So much had happened since that awful January day when Taylor accidently divulged that Reid had told Buddy about her.

Buddy's "discovery" of her, his signing of her to his record label and his invitation to join him and Taylor on tour that summer-none of it had been the happy accident Kate had thought it was.

She thought back to when she and Reid were first together, when he told her he knew people in the business, and she told him that wasn't how she wanted to get her start. She didn't want anyone giving her a leg up. She wanted to get there on her own merits. Thinking about that now, Kate had to laugh. No one made it in the music business without a leg up at some point.

Years of maturity and hard knocks had shown her what a fool she'd been back then to think it all would've happened without help.

Kate had been so shocked by Taylor's revelations that she'd vomited by the side of the road on her way home to Reid's house where she'd confronted him. Reliving those ugly minutes that tore apart their love affair could still make Kate feel sick even all these years later.

If all this trip accomplished was the opportunity to apologize for her behavior that day, it would be enough for her. Or so she told herself hours later as the drumstick-shaped island came into view below.

In truth, she hoped it accomplished much more than that. She hoped that maybe, just maybe, they might get a second chance. She hoped he might look at her and feel again the way he had during that long-ago autumn and winter when everything had seemed a tad bit magical.

Whenever she felt particularly lonely, which was far more often than anyone would suspect, she let her mind wander back to the day she met him and all the days that followed. She remembered their horseback rides on his estate, flying in his plane to Memphis when they'd visited Graceland and then were stranded by bad weather. They'd made love for the first time that night, and Kate could still remember every detail of that amazing experience. It stood out in her memory as the single most important event of her life, and he remained one of the most important people to ever cross her path.

She needed to tell him that. Even if nothing else came of this trip, he needed to know that much.

It was late afternoon by the time the plane touched down at the Robert L. Bradshaw International Airport, just north of Ba.s.seterre.

"You got a nice warm day to visit the island, Ms. Kate," Levi said over the PA as he taxied the plane toward the terminal. "Eighty-five degrees."

Kate stared out the window into the bright suns.h.i.+ne. She couldn't think of anything other than seeing Reid again. What would he say? What would she say? Would he even want to see her after the way they'd left things? Would he think her horribly selfish for showing up in his piece of paradise without warning? She thought back to the day, weeks after their breakup, when he'd flown her home to Rhode Island after Maggie had been badly hurt in an accident.

She'd been so focused on getting to her sister that they hadn't talked about what'd happened between them. And when he'd delivered her to the hospital, there hadn't been a chance to say a proper good-bye. Thus, everything between them had felt unfinished ever since.

While it might be selfish, coming here to see him was the right thing to do, she told herself as she let Levi help her down the stairs and into the heat. The sun was so bright Kate was temporarily blinded as her eyes adjusted.

"Any idea how long you plan to stay?" Levi asked as he rolled her suitcase into the terminal.

"I'm not quite sure yet. If you need to get back, I can call you when I'm ready to go home."

"I think I can find a way to entertain myself here for a couple of days," Levi said with a wide smile as he led the way to the taxi queue. "You've got my cell number for when you're ready to leave?"

"Yes, I'll call you as soon as I know what my plans are."

"Take your time, Ms. Kate. I've got nowhere to be."

"Thank you very much, Levi," Kate said as she handed the first driver in the line of taxis the slip of paper on which Buddy had written Reid's address.

"That's over in Half Moon Bay on the Atlantic side of the island," the driver said in a lyrical voice that was part British, part Caribbean, part reggae.

"Half Moon Bay," Kate said, instantly curious about the place Reid called home. She shook hands with Levi. "I'll be in touch."

"Have a good time."

"You, too."

"I'll try," he said gravely, which made her laugh as the driver helped her into the cab.

During the ride, Kate watched the scenery go by-lush greens, the bright blue of the ever-present water, run-down shacks and million-dollar homes. It pa.s.sed in a blur of color and activity and contrast. The driver kept up a steady stream of chatter, giving Kate a winds.h.i.+eld tour as they drove. She tried to pay attention to what he was saying, but it was hard to hear him over the roar of her heart beating so hard and so fast she worried she might pa.s.s out or hyperventilate. In a few minutes, she would see Reid. Or at least she hoped so.

What if he wasn't here? What if he was away on vacation or somewhere else? Maybe he was in Nashville. How funny would that be? She'd come all this way, and he probably wasn't even here. Why hadn't she let Buddy tell him she was coming? That way she'd at least know he was definitely here-or not.

By the time the driver brought the car to a stop outside a home along a strip of sand dotted with beachfront cottages, Kate was on the verge of a full-scale meltdown.

"Miss?" The driver had gotten out of the car and was holding Kate's door open for her. "Are you all right?"

"Yes." Kate shook off the panic and forced her legs to carry her out of the car. "Would you mind waiting? I'll pay extra."

"Of course," he said, eyeing her curiously.

"I don't know how long I'll be."

"I'll wait right here for you. Take your time."

"Thank you so much."

"You're sure you're all right? Your face is terribly pale."

Kate's hands covered her cheeks. "Is it?"

The driver nodded.

"I'm nervous about seeing the man who lives here."

"Ahh, I see." A smile lit his face. "I like to tell my daughters that any boy they date is lucky to be with them, and they should remember that." He glanced at the house. "Whoever he is, he's lucky to have a pretty lady like you nervous about seeing him."

"That's very kind of you to say," Kate said, returning his friendly smile, "and exactly what I needed to hear right now."

"My pleasure. Good luck to you."

"Thank you."

He closed the door behind her and went around to get back into the driver's seat.

Kate studied the house, which was made of dark wood. It had a thatched roof and a comfortable front porch. Wind chimes hung from the porch roof, tinkling gently in the light afternoon breeze. The only other sound was the waves cras.h.i.+ng on the beach and the squawk of seagulls.

An aura of peace and serenity surrounded the home, which gave her the courage to step through the gate in the picket fence that surrounded the tiny front yard.

The gate slapped shut behind her, making her jump from the unexpected noise.

As she took the three stairs that led to the porch, her legs felt watery and unsteady, the way they had after her bout with pneumonia. She stood there for a long time, marshaling the fort.i.tude to see this through to whatever finish fate had in mind for them.

Kate felt like she was outside herself, watching someone else raise her arm and knock on the open screen door. The inside door was open, so someone was here... She could hear each beat of her heart echoing in her ears as she waited a long moment before footsteps sounded through the house.

An attractive, dark-haired woman wearing a colorful cotton dress came to the door. Her long hair was piled in a messy bun on the top of her head. She had dark eyes and a wide, welcoming smile. "Hi there. May I help you?"

The appearance of a woman threw her off-stride. Kate realized in that moment that she hadn't actually believed he'd have someone else, although she knew she should have. He was a gorgeous, successful, thoughtful man. Why wouldn't he have someone else after all this time? "I..." She'd come too far now to leave without at least seeing him, so she cleared her throat and forced the words to come. "I'm looking for Reid Matthews. Does he live here?"

"He sure does. He's down on the beach working on his boat." She pushed open the screen door. "Come in. You can get to the stairs from the deck out back."

"Thank you." Kate followed her through a cozy living s.p.a.ce that was colorful and comfortable. She wanted to stop and take a look around, but she followed the woman to the deck that overlooked the Atlantic. "What a great place."

"We love it."

The three small words conveyed a world of meaning. They were a couple. They lived here together. She slept with him and made love with him and ate dinner with him.

"I can see why."

She pointed to a distant figure on the beach. "Reid is down there, working on his beloved boat."

He had a beloved boat. Kate wanted to know all about it, but she didn't ask. She had no right to ask anything of the woman he shared his life with. Were they married? Kate shook off that thought as fast as she had it. "Thank you."

Feeling somewhat deflated as she took the long set of stairs to the beach, she felt the eyes of the other woman on her back. Kate wanted to apologize for showing up uninvited into their piece of paradise. She wanted to a.s.sure the woman that she was no threat to her, but she didn't do any of those things. Rather, she stayed focused on the dot on the beach, the man she'd thought about every day for ten long years.

At the bottom of the stairs, she kicked off her sandals and walked barefoot through the warm sand, making her way to him as if in a dream. If it is a dream, she thought, please don't let me wake up until I've actually spoken to him.

He was sanding the bottom of an old skiff and was so focused on his work he didn't see her coming.

She approached him tentatively, not wanting to startle him. When she was six feet from him, she stopped and feasted her eyes. He wore only a pair of khaki cargo shorts. His skin was very tan, his body still lean and fit. Silver streaks ran through his dark hair, and perspiration made his back glisten in the bright suns.h.i.+ne.

Kate watched him for a full minute before she cleared her throat. "Reid."

He froze and then straightened, turning slowly to face her. The shock registered in his expression and the rigid way in which he held himself. "Kate?" he said in a hoa.r.s.e whisper. "What're you doing here?"

The sound of his voice transported her right back to the first time she'd ever heard him speak, in the drawing room of the vast house he'd once called home, the day her dad had brought her to meet his old friend from Berkeley.

Say something! Don't just stand here and stare! "I, um... I needed to see you."

He glanced up at the house before returning his focus to her. "Why?"

"I..."

"You've been ill."

"You heard about my flake-out on stage, I take it."

"It made the papers-even down here."

"I had pneumonia and went back to work too soon. The media said it was drugs, but that's not true."

His smile was just as she remembered-slow, s.e.xy, sweet, and she absolutely melted. "We're not so far from civilization down here that the rumors don't reach us."

Kate shrugged. "I don't give them much to work with, so they make up most of it. I hope you didn't think-"

"I knew you weren't on drugs, Kate."

"Oh, good," she said, surprised by how important it was that he not think poorly of her, despite having given him plenty of reason to think poorly of her.

"Why did you need to see me? Has something happened?"

All the words she'd rehea.r.s.ed in her mind for weeks and months were gone now that she stood before him, needing to explain why she'd suddenly reappeared in his life so many years after she'd ended their relations.h.i.+p.

"Kate?"

Hearing her name in that honeyed Southern accent sent s.h.i.+vers down her spine the same way it had when they were together. He'd liked to call her Katherine when they made love. That memory sent a flood of heat rus.h.i.+ng through her veins.

"I wanted to apologize to you."

He crossed his arms and leaned back against the boat. "For what?"

"For the way I ended things between us. It's bothered me for a long time, and I wanted you to know that."

"Oh. Well..."

"What you did, telling Buddy about me-"

"It was wrong of me to do that after you specifically asked me not to."

Kate shook her head. "Everything I have, everything I've accomplished, goes back to you telling Buddy about me."

"That's not true. You are amazingly talented, and everything you have goes back to that."

"That's part of it, but I don't think I ever would've had this career without Buddy's involvement-or yours."

"I disrespected your wishes. You had every right to react the way you did."

"I disrespected us by acting the way I did. I've regretted it for a very long time, and I wanted you to know that."

"Kate..." As if he needed something to do with his hands, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I understand that too much time has gone by and we've both moved on, but it was important to me that you know..."

"That I know what?"

Kate swallowed hard and forced herself to meet his gaze. Those brown eyes... They still got to her the way they always had. No one else had ever looked at her in that particular way and seen her the way he did. "I've never forgotten you. I've never forgotten. Any of it."