Treading Water: Coming Home Part 6

He let out a tortured groan. "G.o.d, Kate, what am I supposed to say to that? Am I supposed to tell you that I've never forgotten either? Because I haven't. How could I? But I've got a new life here-a good life that satisfies me. I have a wonderful relations.h.i.+p that works for me."

Her heart was heavy when she said, "I understand."

"No, you don't." His tone was so sharp that she gasped. "It took me a long time to get here after you. A very long time."

She held up her hands to stop him from saying more. "I'm not asking for anything. All I wanted was the chance to tell you I regret how I behaved. I regret letting you think for all this time that I wasn't grateful for what you did for me, because I was. I am. I'm grateful. That's all I wanted to say."

His demeanor softened all at once, and he more resembled the Reid she remembered so well. "Are you happy, Kate? Does the big career fulfill you the way you thought it would?"

"I'm content. I still enjoy performing, meeting the fans, that kind of stuff. There's a lot of it I could do without, especially the media speculation about my rampant drug abuse."

"I'm sure that gets old after a while."

"What about you? Are you happy here in paradise?"

"I'm content," he said, using her word.

She was painfully aware that there was a lot of empty s.p.a.ce between content and happy, but Kate chose not to point that out to him, because he probably already knew. "I'm sorry to just show up this way, but I wanted to tell you, in person. I wanted..."

He pushed off the boat and took a step toward her, and her heart began to gallop the way it did when Thunder flew her over the open fields behind her house. "What did you want, Kate?"

She forced herself to smile. "It doesn't matter now."

"Yes, it does."

"You're with someone else. It's a moot point."

"Tell me anyway."

If he came any closer she wouldn't be able to resist the urge to touch him, to lay her hands on his chest the way she used to, as if she still had a right to.

"If you were free, I might've asked you-"

"What? What would you have asked me?"

She looked up at him, imploringly. "Don't make me say it," she whispered.

His jaw pulsed with tension as he stared out at the water. "Where were you six months ago? Where were you before I decided to take a chance with someone else?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I never meant to make things worse."

"You haven't made anything worse. But she's been good to me. Good for me."

"I understand. Please, don't say anything more. I'll go."

He rested his hands on his hips. "I'm glad you came."

"I am, too. This is a beautiful place. I can see why you love it."

"It sure does beat the rat race in Nashville," he said with his trademark slow, s.e.xy grin.

"I'm glad you were able to make it happen. Take care of yourself, Reid."

"You do the same. Say no to drugs."

That made her laugh. "I'll try." She glanced up at the house. The woman in his life was nowhere to be seen, but Kate had no doubt she was watching them. "Is there a way out that doesn't require going through your house?"

"Take that path."

"I was thinking I might stick around for a day or two, since I've never been here and it's so beautiful. Where do you recommend I stay?"

"My friend Desi owns the Sunset Point Resort over in Frigate Bay. I'll give him a call and ask him to set you up with something private."

"That'd be very nice. Thank you."

"No problem."

"I'll let you get back to work. I'll see you."

"Bye, Kate."

As she ventured up the path he'd pointed out to her, she felt him watching her. Only when she reached the top and saw her waiting cab did she allow herself to breathe again. It hadn't gone exactly the way she'd hoped, but she'd gotten the closure she needed. She'd have to be satisfied with the partial victory and find a way to go on without him.

Chapter 4.

Reid watched Kate go up the path and disappear into the road. For a long time after she was out of sight, he stood there, staring at the path, his mind reeling after the conversation, the surprise, the reaction. To deny he'd reacted to her as strongly as he always had would be disingenuous.

Seeing her again had been like a punch to the gut. Even though his back had been to her, the instant she said his name, he'd known it was her. No one had ever said his name the same way she did. No one had ever electrified him just by looking at him the way she did. No one had ever set him on fire with need the way she had.

"d.a.m.n it," he muttered, turning away from the path and resting his hands on the upturned bottom of the boat he'd been restoring for months now. He'd been perfectly content with his life on the island, his life with Mari, and now... Now he knew Kate still thought of him, that she'd never forgotten him or what they'd shared, that she felt bad about the way things ended. How was he supposed to go on with his contented little life knowing all that?

For a brief moment, he was angry with her. How dare she come here, to his home, and upset his well-ordered life by saying all those things to him? How dare she make herself feel better at his expense? But then it occurred to him that it had probably taken a tremendous amount of courage for her to work up the nerve to first find him and then come to see him, especially after the way they'd left things.

Their relations.h.i.+p had been doomed from the start. No one in their lives had approved of the twenty-eight years between them. h.e.l.l, he hadn't approved, but he'd been powerless to resist falling in love with her sweetness, her innocence, her angelic voice and beautiful face.

She was even more beautiful at almost thirty than she'd been at eighteen. She'd grown into her coltish body, but the long, thick blonde hair and stunning blue eyes were exactly as he remembered. He'd never seen eyes quite like hers, and he'd never forgotten what it had been like to have those eyes look at him with love and affection and desire unlike anything he'd experienced with anyone else.

"Reid?"

Mari's voice jarred him out of his musings. He turned to find her looking at him warily, as if waiting for him to confirm that a bomb had just dropped into the middle of their peaceful lives. What did he say to her when he wasn't even sure what to make of it himself?

"Hey."

"That was Kate."

"Yes." He'd once told her about Kate in a moment he now wished he could take back, because she would fully appreciate the importance of Kate's reappearance. When he'd told her, he'd expected to never see Kate again. It had never occurred to him that she would seek him out.

"And?"

"Nothing. She had something she wanted to tell me. She told me." He shrugged, hoping to convey that everything was fine and not sure if he succeeded. "Nothing more to it than that."

Mari tipped her head and looked at him with wise, knowing eyes. "Is that right?"

"Uh-huh. Are you ready for some dinner? Where do you want to go?"

"So we're going to act like nothing happened? That's how you want to handle this?"

"Nothing did happen. How else would you have me handle it?"

"Maybe you can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me. I know you too well. Seeing her had to rock you."

"I was surprised to see her. I won't deny that, but it's nothing to worry about." He stashed his tools in a bucket under the boat and brushed sand off his hands. "I'm starving. Are you?"

"I could eat something, I suppose."

Hoping to rea.s.sure her, he put his arm around her and drew her in close to him as he walked them to the stairs, comforted by her familiar scent and the easy, stress-free bond they'd had from the beginning.

Their relations.h.i.+p had often reminded him of what he'd shared with his late wife. With both women, he'd known friends.h.i.+p, companions.h.i.+p, familiarity and satisfying, if not earth-shattering, lovemaking.

With Kate, there'd been fire and drama and intensity and earth-shattering lovemaking. And magic. It was that last part he'd missed the most after she left. He told himself he was better off without the fire and the drama, and he could live without the magic. The peaceful existence he knew now was the trade-off. No one got everything. He firmly believed that. His new life with Mari satisfied him, and he wouldn't do anything to endanger that.

Magic was beautiful until it wasn't anymore. And then it was painful. He'd learned that the hard way and had no desire to go there again. Once had been more than enough.

Apparently, Reid had some major connections with the owner of the Sunset Bay Resort, because Kate found herself in a beachfront bungalow with an amazing view of the moon rising over placid water.

"Is this to your liking, ma'am?" asked the young woman who had escorted Kate from the resort's check-in area.

"This would be to anyone's liking." Kate smiled and gave the woman a twenty-dollar tip. "Thank you very much."

"My pleasure. If you'd like, I could have some dinner sent to you. I can wait for you to make your selection or press nine on any of the house phones to place your order."

"I think I'll wait a bit." Kate couldn't imagine eating right now, not when her nerves were still in such a jumble after seeing Reid.

"As you wish, ma'am. Enjoy your stay with us, and let us know if we can be of service to you."

"I will, thank you."

A few minutes later, the bellman arrived with Kate's suitcase and set it in the master bedroom. And then she was finally alone. Kate couldn't remember a time when she'd wanted to be alone more than she did right now. The last time had been the week after she broke things off with Reid. She'd holed up in her Green Hills condo to lick her wounds until Buddy forced her back to work by threatening legal action.

He'd done her a favor by playing hardball, and over time she'd gotten past the hurt and shock of losing Reid and moved forward with her life. Except, she'd never moved forward romantically. She'd been stuck on him all this time. Seeing him today had brought that home for her far more than a series of failed relations.h.i.+ps or the pa.s.sage of time ever could have.

Now that she had her answer, it was time to find a way to get unstuck. They'd had their moment. Their time had come and gone and was not to be repeated. He had someone else and was happy. There was no place for Kate in his new life, and now she had to accept that and go on.

She walked onto the balcony that ab.u.t.ted the beach and leaned against the rail to watch the moon rise. This was such a beautiful place. She could see why he loved it here.

For the next few days, she would love it here, too. She would take some time to accept what had happened before she went home and figured out the next chapter in her life. If everything went as planned, she'd have her family to Nashville for Christmas and resume touring after the first of the year. That would give her plenty of downtime to come to peace with the past and map out a future that didn't include the only man she'd ever loved.

She shook off that thought. If she went there, she'd lose the tiny bit of composure she was clinging to as it set in that there wouldn't be anything more with him. All she had left were beautiful memories, and they were more than some people got in a lifetime.

Since she'd decided to stay a few days, she sent Levi a text to let him know.

Take your time, hon. This place is amazing.

Kate smiled, pleased that Levi was enjoying himself. They all worked far too hard and deserved some time off that didn't include jetting to the next venue, sound checks, rehearsals, recording studios or screaming crowds.

She perused the room-service menu and ordered a bottle of wine, a salmon entree and a tossed salad. "Wait," she said as the operator signed off. "Toss in the chocolate mousse, too."

"We'll have it to you in thirty minutes, Ms. Harrington."

"Thank you."

While she waited for her dinner to arrive, Kate showered and changed into a pale blue silk nightgown and robe Jill had given her for her birthday. She was brus.h.i.+ng her hair when her phone dinged with a text from Jill.

How'd it go?

Not so great, but I'm okay.

Really?

Really. I'll tell you about it when I get home. What're you up to?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Are you relaxing?

Trying...

Try harder! Talk to you in a couple of days.

Call me if you need to talk. I'm always right here.

I know. That's one of the many reasons I love you.

Kate put down the phone and stared out at the water until a knock on the door announced the arrival of her dinner.

Jill hated herself for knowing that Ashton drove a silver Jaguar with his AJM initials on the license plates. She hated herself for waiting for that silver car to come down the long lane to Kate's estate. She hated herself for being excited to see him, for wanting to know where he was taking her, for caring more than she should about this whole thing.

For the thousandth time in the last hour, she ran sweaty palms over her jeans, wis.h.i.+ng she'd never agreed to this date, or whatever it was. "This is ridiculous."

To pa.s.s the time, she sent off the text to Kate to see how she'd made out in St. Kitts, and now she was worried that her sister really wasn't fine but was acting like she was so Jill wouldn't worry.