The Grave Part 1

The Grave.

By Diane M d.i.c.kson.

Thanks are due to the community of authors at Authonomy whose encouragement and help was, as always, invaluable and especially to fellow author Rachel Florence Roberts for help and advice with research into coma and trauma and to E M Delaney and Lisa Rutledge for their continuous patience and encouragement and to Lilian Kendrick for reading the "squishy" bits.

I would also like to thank the members of Shortbreadstories, for their encouragement in my writing endeavours.

Chapter 1.

Samuel struggled through the roots and brambles; he tripped often and grovelled in the dark tearing his trousers on the thorns. In time he reached the place, down on the bank, where the ground was damp and smelt of moss and decay. At the base of a ma.s.sive willow he threw his load to the ground and paused to catch his breath.

When he knew for sure that he was untracked he bent to the task. The moon shone silver through dark branches as he turned the sod. With each swing of the long-handled pick a grunt escaped his gut, deep and guttural in the quiet. Muscles in his back and shoulders flexed and strained and he stopped often to wipe the dirty sweat that ran across his brow and stung his eyes. He stood back occasionally to a.s.sess the work shaking his head at the small results of his efforts.

Though time was short he had to have it deep enough to deny access to the wild things. The arc of the pick glinted as it caught the moonlight over and over and the ground opened a great maw that took him in further than his knees, further than his hips. He was getting there. Now he used the spade, the better to scoop the dank soil and toss it onto the growing heap.

A shrill note tore into the silence, sharp and shocking. He thrust again with the blade and again the noise rang out a.s.saulting the silence as metal struck stone. He peered into the murk to see a boulder gleaming, bone white, like a half-erupted tooth in a blackened and decaying gum-line.

With a grunt of impatience he knelt in the soggy pit and groped at the boulder digging and pulling till his nails tore and his fingers bled. The mud and the blood congealed clubbing the ends of his fingers and he wiped them on the tail of his s.h.i.+rt, cursing as the sticky gobbets smeared the sweat drenched fabric.

At last it was deep enough and he dragged the bundled tarpaulin to the lip of the grave. Kneeling in the mud he half pushed half lowered the thing s.h.i.+fting and dragging at the bulk, fighting with the cascading earth and the crumbling edges. Finally, dizzy with exhaustion he threw the last measure of earth back onto the grave thumping and flattening it with the back of his shovel.

It still wasn't enough, now he went upstream a little to find small shrubs. Bringing them back with great clods of earth still sticking to the shocked roots he planted them onto the mound. It was not some bizarre parody of funeral ritual but a ploy to further disguise the new dug earth and to consolidate the disturbed ground.

Hours had pa.s.sed and the dawn was threatening but the job was finished. He dragged his bent and aching body through the mists and the damp and left his terrible secret in the unmarked dene amongst the willows, beside the river.

Chapter 2.

He turned to home; before he regained the shack the sun had risen and the first day of his altered world had begun. The next task was to take the tools to the small lean-to and wash the blades as river mud flowed in brown streams across the wooden boards. He polished and dried the metal and hung the equipment back in its proper place, all in order, all as it should be. No sign of the turmoil and terror of the dark hours.

The house was cold, the fire had long deadened and he had left the door open, allowing ingress for the damp and dew of early morning.

A galvanised bucket stood beneath the sink and Samuel ran water into it, adding bleach from a big plastic bottle. He reached back into the dark s.p.a.ce feeling around for the scrubbing brush. The tender parts at the end of his fingers caught on the rough wood causing him to let go a hiss of pain and a curse that echoed through the quiet of the old rooms.

The stain was extensive, it had missed the rug but had spread and run along the grain of scuffed floor boards, pooling at the skirting. First he dipped a large rag into the water and slopped it into the congealing gore. The glutinous mixture splashed back at him, he felt the wet sliminess on his face and dashed at it with the back of his hand. The smell of the bleach was strong in his nose but it was a clean scent after the muck by the river and the cloying sweetness surrounding him now kneeling on the blood-stained floor. He sloshed more water from the cloth but it simply spread the contamination and it was obvious to him now he would need to sluice the entire surface.

He dragged the chairs and table to the rear of the room and rolled up the rag rugs, throwing them through the open doorway out onto the porch. Too late he realised he would need to brush the liquid out that way. Anger drove him on and for a moment he was overwhelmed by the whole thing. It was unbelievable to him that he had allowed this to happen, he had worked hard to escape such stuff and yet here he was again wallowing in the detritus of death.

After a long moment he took a sharp breath and squared his shoulders. Reaching for the cheap floor covering he grabbed at the fraying edges and heaved the bundle as hard and as far as he could, it thudded into the bushes by the well. He turned his back on it, let it rot.

He picked up the pail of cooling water and flung it across the floor. The mix spread painting the boards pink now with small clots caught on the rougher edges. It had been left too long, had taken a hold, wanting to become a part of the fabric of this cursed place.

The stiff brush was in the lean-to and, as he made his way through the yard, clouds of condensation swirled around his head, the cold, sharp morning mocked him with normality.

After many minutes of effort, scrubbing, sluicing and brus.h.i.+ng, the floor was darkened with moisture, but cleared of the obvious signs of brutality. Taking a bottle from the dresser he dragged out the cork and stomped to the front steps where he dropped onto his behind on the damp wood. The rough whisky burned in his throat and seared a river of heat all the way down into his gut where it swilled with the bile and threatened reflux and nausea. He swallowed another mouthful and it settled his stomach and flamed in his blood deadening the sharp edges of his nerves and stroking and soothing his rattling senses. He had to think now, he had to be logical and calm, be sure, absolutely sure there was no trace, no trail and if need be he must be ready to act again.

He could see no way the body would be found, not where it lay beside the river, deep in the wood, only a very pernicious fate would reveal it. He knew though only too well just how malign chance could be and he acknowledged the risk, accepted it was probably only a question of when, not if.

Chapter 3.

Physical exertion, stress and despair blended now with the alcohol wrapping around his brain, clouding his thinking and stupefying him. Samuel reached out and, grabbing the door frame for support, he dragged to his feet. With a yell, part animal, part human and wholly anguish he drew back his arm, the empty whisky bottle flipped end over end through the morning air to land with a thud and a sharp crack. By the time the sound reached his ears he had already turned to stagger back into the dank living room.

The furniture was piled haphazardly against the back wall of the s.p.a.ce, he ignored it except where he leaned to aid his unsteady progress. The banister creaked with the weight dragging up the bare stairs towards the tumbled and untidy bed. He threw himself across the tangled sheets and turned onto his side. Drawing a pillow across he buried his face and was lost in the smell of her, the sweetness of manufactured perfume and the natural stench of animal fluids mixed as they could only be after the pa.s.sion of barely hours ago.

He was swept with anger and bitterness and beneath it all disappointment that even one small loosening of the grip he had on his life had betrayed him so catastrophically. He knew though that to rail against fate was pointless. With a deep sigh he closed his eyes and let exhaustion and alcohol carry him away. He drifted into uneasy slumber, tossing and mumbling on the bed as the world wound down the day.

Scarlet streaks banded the darkening sky before he woke. Pus.h.i.+ng up from the bed and making his way stiff-legged and robotic to the bathroom he relieved himself. He turned to the wash basin and caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror.

There was blood and mud streaked across his cheeks and chin. There were scratches there too, great wheals torn by the thorns of the forest. The skin had become puckered and was reddened already with small infection. He tore off his s.h.i.+rt, ran water into the bowl and sluiced his face and head having the cool liquid run down his back and chest to wet the waist band of his filthy trousers. It was no use though he needed to strip, to shower and clean himself. With a sigh he dragged the clothes away from his aching body, flinging them into a stinking pile in the corner of the room. He turned the water to hot and waited until steam billowed from the tub before stepping under the deluge.

It helped, sore muscles softened and relaxed and his brain cleared a little. The gus.h.i.+ng water isolated him from the sights and sounds in the house and allowed his mind to go back for the first time to yesterday morning. Bright suns.h.i.+ne had encouraged the trip to town, the weekly run for provisions and a gla.s.s of beer in the company of other people. He knew he would have to look at it, revisit the event and then put it away for the rest of his existence and so why not start now, in the comfort of warm water and behind the screen of steam and the plastic curtain.

He should have ignored the woman, had always done so before, why then did this one who was barely more than a girl manage to draw him in, "Buy me a drink, mister. Do you want some company? I'll sit with you, talk, not talk, up to you."

Normally he would turn away, they would get the message and move on but this one, this time, he simply threw some coins across the counter and jerked a thumb towards her for the benefit of the bar-man.

She slipped onto the high stool, sipped the gla.s.s of white wine and then slid around to gaze with round, blue eyes at him. First the big hands, work worn, permanently ingrained with dirt, finger nails torn and cracked. Then up to his sullen, lined face.

"You're Samuel aren't you?"

He nodded, a sharp jerky movement, already regretting the drink and the unspoken invitation.

"You live in the woods yeah, out there on your own. I've seen you around, you seem lonely, are you lonely Samuel, do you need company?"

Her thin hand had moved to his thigh, rubbing a little against the denim. He reached down and, not roughly but definitely, he moved it and placed it back in the girl's lap. He slid from the stool and without another word walked out of the bar. That had been a mistake, had spoiled the trip and now he needed to get back home.

He walked to the builder's yard, to collect a roll of wire to repair the fence, then he crossed the street and strode back to the car park. She was standing beside the truck, one foot up against a tyre, her knee bent, bony in the tight pants. She was smoking and as he approached she threw the unfinished cigarette to the ground scuffing it with the sole of her knee-high boots. "Will you give me a ride Samuel, I need a ride?"

Chapter 4.

He stood beside the car, looking down at her, shook his head.

"I'm late, I need to get back, go and ask one of the others, there's plenty in there'll give you a ride."

He jerked his thumb towards the bar.

"Oh, now that's not gentlemanly is it? I won't take you far out of your way, come on now, don't you want to help a damsel in distress? It's getting late now."

It was true he had stayed longer than normal, eaten lunch waiting for some maintenance on the chain saw, normally he would have been long gone by now, safe back in the woods.

"You don't want to ride with me, now go on back there."

He strode past and leaned to unlock the door. She placed a hand over his.

"Samuel I like you, I've seen you around town before, you always seem so lonely. Don't you want some company? Come on just give me a little ride, you can drop me at the bus station, if you like."

He pushed her sharply out of the way, a heel caught on the rough surface of the car park and she toppled, s.n.a.t.c.hing out at him as she fell. He grabbed at the flailing hand but at the end she was kneeling in the dirt, her hand grazed and jeans soiled with mud. He was caught now, couldn't just walk away, he hadn't meant her to fall but he couldn't just leave her.

He helped her up, she wasn't hurt apart from the few small scratches, she sucked at the beading of blood, looking up under her lashes, and she knew she had him now.

He moved the parcels from the pa.s.senger seat and unhooked the seat belt from the stowage point. His heart was pounding, he hadn't wanted this, didn't want this, but he would cope. He could deal with it, to the edge of town, the bus stop and then it would be over and next week he would ignore her if she was there, if she spoke to him. He started the engine and turned towards the road, his hands shook on the steering wheel.

The sniffling started after a couple of minutes, at first he thought it was shock brought on by the tumble, but it had been such a small thing. He turned to look at her face in the flas.h.i.+ng orange of the street lamps; mascara had drawn black runnels down her cheeks. She was trying to squeeze her bleeding hand into the tightness of the jeans pocket. He handed her a clean rag that he kept on the dashboard for wiping the screen. She nodded her thanks and blew her nose loudly.

"I'm sorry, sorry Samuel."

A great sigh filled the uncomfortable silence between them.

"Are you hurt, more than that little thing I mean?"

"No, no I'm alright."

"Why are you crying then?"

"I don't know why you don't like me, why don't you like me Samuel? n.o.body ever seems to like me."

His knuckles were tight now on the wheel, his fingers wrapped all the way round, the muscles bunching in his forearms. Sweat had popped out under his hairline. He had to get her out of the car; he pulled over to the kerb.

"Get out, go on, you're not hurt, I don't want you in the car, don't want you here."

He leaned to open the pa.s.senger door and she caught at his arm.

"Oh come on now, don't be like that. You know we could have a bit of fun you and me, we could. I could make you relax; I think you need to relax."

She stroked at his skin, irritating the small hairs, he s.n.a.t.c.hed his arm back.

He turned, twisting in his seat to look straight at her. The blonde hair swung as she swivelled her face towards him and reached again for his arm.

"Come on now Samuel, a fine man like you, you should have some fun, let yourself relax. Don't you want to have a bit of fun? That's all it'd be, no strings, no comeback, just a nice night of fun and frolics. What about it?"

That was the point, he saw it now, now it was too late, that was the moment all was lost. She was soft and pretty in an overused way and it had been years, well of course it had been years.

He had never enjoyed s.e.x with a hooker, never wanted some brutalised wh.o.r.e who was busy thinking about her next score while he pumped away above her, but this girl, she had sparkling eyes, soft lips and it had been so very long. She would want something from him afterwards, money probably and so really, little better than a wh.o.r.e but she had searched him out, it made a difference. He could feel his body pleading, his brain and common sense were fighting a losing battle.

He slipped the car into gear and drove off past the Pharmacy, past the streetlights, past the point of no return.

Chapter 5.

There had been little conversation on the drive to the shack, Samuel was too tense and wound up, he had spoken once.

"So, what's your name, seeing as you know mine already?"

"Sylvie, I'm Sylvie, nice to meet you Samuel."

She had held a hand towards him, a grin on her face but he didn't glance at her and with a shrug she let it drop back into her lap, the silence resumed. For long minutes she spent the time gazing through the window at the darkening silhouettes of trees and fence posts flicking away behind the car as it grumbled on over the tarmac. The occasional signpost would flash a bright message into the gloom and the houses they pa.s.sed glowed like little oasis with the lawns touched green under lamps and security lights, otherwise all was dark and quiet.

A few cars hissed by, the occupants heading for a night in the town and one van overtook them, she watched the tiny rubies of its tail lights fading into the black until it turned a distant bend and became a memory.

"How far is your place, I know it's in the woods, but how far?"

"Not far now, a few minutes that's all."

They turned in from the road and the darkness was deeper, much deeper than she had thought it would be. The track was rutted and winding and she hung on to the sides of the seat as they b.u.mped and jogged into the woods. The way was a tunnel lit only by the headlights, now and again a creature would leap or scutter from their path, a sharp intrusion, here and gone in a flash. Apart from the roar of the engine, the sounds now were all those of nature and of night in the woods.

He swung left and the road ran beside the river for a brief spell. The dark water glinted as the moon caught the ripples but the gently flowing ribbon was mysterious and she turned away from the window. She watched him, the shape of his head and shoulders, tense and unfriendly and wondered nervously what she had done. The idea had seemed good in the town, she'd been filled with bright light bravado but now was unsure. It was further than she had thought it would be, she would have to be sure he left the keys in the car, even then didn't know whether she would be able to find her way back alone.

Maybe she should let the plan go, just have the s.e.x and ask him for payment, he must know money was what it was all about, or at least he must believe that. She would wait, play it as it came, let things develop, but for sure this dark and forbidding place wasn't what she had imagined. Parks and playgrounds had been the only natural s.p.a.ces she had known, the woods at night were not as she had expected.