The Mother And Her Child Part 55

The flirtations carried on with many of the park policemen and bystanders lead us to feel that many people arrive at the idea that their little folks "will grow up some way." If the caretaker is a student, a young woman of culture, and is kept with the family, she will be found to be more circ.u.mspect and dependable. Her gentleman friend, if she has one, should be allowed to come to the home. She does not have to meet him out in the park any more than a sister would have to go away from home to meet a friend; and, to my mind, everything centers around the viewpoint of the mother as she selects this caretaker, for if she is her social equal it puts her in a different place entirely to the well-meaning but ignorant servant girl to whose care is often intrusted the lives of the little people.

HINTS FOR THE CARETAKER

There are a number of hints we wish to bring together in this chapter for the mother to suggest to the caretaker. For instance, here is a group that one author gives us:

BABY IS HAPPY BECAUSE

He is dry.

He is healthy.

His food is right.

He has sleep enough.

His meals are on time.

He is dressed properly.

He is bathed regularly.

His habits are regular.

His bowels move regularly.

He has fresh air day and night.

He is not dosed with patent medicines.

He is not excited by frequent handling.

He is not annoyed by flies or other insects.

THINGS BAD FOR BABIES

Candy.

Pacifiers.

Thumb-sucking.

Soothing syrups.

Patent medicines.

Waterproof diapers.

Moving picture shows.

Sucking on empty bottles.

Being kissed on the mouth.

Play of any sort after feeding.

Sleeping in bed with the mother.

Whiskey or gin for supposed colic.

Sneezing or coughing in the face.

Irregular or too frequent feedings.

Sleeping on the mother's breast while nursing.

Spitting on handkerchief to remove dirt from baby's face.

Allowing a person with a cough or a cold to hold the baby.

Violent rocking, bouncing, and rollicking play at any time.

Dirty playthings, dirty nipples, dirty bottles, dirty floors.

Allowing any person with tuberculosis to take care of the baby.

Testing the temperature of the baby's milk by taking the nipple in the mouth.

THINGS TO REMEMBER

Keep baby out of dust.

Don't cover his face.

Don't rock him to sleep.

Keep baby away from crowds and sick people.

Don't neglect a sore throat or a running ear.

His health, growth, and happiness depend largely upon _you_.

Cats and dogs have no place about a baby. They carry disease.

The baby is not a toy or a plaything, but a great responsibility.

Don't wipe out baby's mouth. It tends to cause ulcers and thrush.

OVERCOMING BAD HABITS

There are a few bad habits which older children fall into such as lip-sucking or thumb-sucking or finger-sucking which not only narrow and deform the upper jaw, but likewise deform the hand itself. They should be stopped at the earliest opportunity by pinning the sleeve to the bedding or putting mittens on the hand or putting a slight splint on the anterior bend of the elbow. Some children suck their handkerchiefs, or bite holes in their ap.r.o.ns and neckties.

Children often bite their finger nails, and a habit of this kind fully developed during early childhood often remains with them throughout life; whenever a nervous spell seizes them they instantly begin to bite their finger nails. Other people pick their nose when nervous, so during very early childhood these habits should be discouraged. One mother helped her little son by beautifully manicuring his nails for him each week. Another child was cured by old-fas.h.i.+oned spanking. The finger tips may be painted with tincture of aloes, or dipping the tips of the fingers in strong quinine water will sometimes help. I know of nothing better for the adolescent child than to teach him how properly to manicure his own nails. Another bad habit that children often get into is stooping or allowing the shoulders to become rounded. Shoulder braces are not indicated in these cases. The children should be allowed to enter the gymnasium or the father should take off his coat and vest and go through gymnasium stunts with the boy. The mother can do the same for the girl. It is often the case that round-shouldered children are near sighted. The child really has to stoop to see things. When a child holds his head to one side constantly on looking at objects, astigmatism, an error of eyesight, is usually indicated.

An eye specialist should be consulted, the eyes examined, and properly fitted eye gla.s.ses should be worn.

Just as early as possible in the life of the little child he should be taught to blow his nose, to spit out the coughed up mucus from his lungs, to hold out his tongue for inspection and to allow his throat to be examined. He should be taught to gargle, and to regard the physician as one of his best friends. Attention to these minor accomplishments will make it very easy indeed for the physician in case of illness.

CHAPTER x.x.xVII

THE POWER OF POSITIVE SUGGESTIONS

A child is the most imitative creature in the world. Before he is out of pinafores he tries to talk and act just like his elders. It is because of this inherent tendency to say and do those very things which he hears others say and do, that, if faith-thoughts are early and constantly suggested to the unfolding mind of the child they will a.s.sist greatly in evolving a character of joy, confidence, and courage. On the other hand, if fear-thoughts are continuously sown in the young mind they will eventually distort the emotions, deform the conceptions, and wholly demoralize the health and life activities of the growing child. Within the limitations of the possibilities of hereditary endowment, and in view of this wonderful imitative nature, we are able to make of a child almost anything we desire; not "an angel," in the ordinary acceptation of the term, but a child who knows his place and possesses the power of normal self-control.

EARLY FEARS

From two to six years of age, when the imagination is most plastic and vivid, when the child's imitative instinct is so unconsciously automatic, is the most effective and opportune time to initiate good habits and lay the foundations for the later development of a strong and n.o.ble character. "Baby's skies are Mamma's eyes" is just as true as it is poetical. While a tired and worn-out mother, exhausted by a mult.i.tude of harra.s.sing household cares, may be pardoned for her occasional irritability, nevertheless the little one unconsciously partakes of her spirit. When the mother is happy the child is happy.

When Mother is sick and nervous the child is impatient and irritable.

It is unfortunate that this very time of a child's life, when we can do practically anything we choose with him, is the very time when so many parents fill the child's mind with the unhealthful fear-thoughts.

"The bogie man'll get you if you don't mind Mamma," or, "I'll get the black man to cut your ears off," or, "the chimney sweep is around the corner to take bad little boys," are familiar threats which are so frequently made to the little folks. These efforts to terrorize the young child into obedience never fail to distort the mind, warp the affections, and, more or less permanently, derange the entire nervous system. The arousal of fear-thoughts and fearful emotions in the mind of the growing child is very often such a psychologic and a physiologic shock to the child that the results are sometimes not wholly eradicated in an entire lifetime.

Just see how far we carry this unwholesome introduction of fear-thoughts--even to the Almighty. Thousands of us remember being told as a child that "G.o.d don't like naughty boys," or, "G.o.d will send the bad man to get you if you don't be good." Thus, early in life, an unwholesome fear of the Supreme Being is sown in the mind of the child, and, as time pa.s.ses, these false fears grow and come so to possess the mind and control the emotions that in adult life this early teaching comes to mold the character and shape the religious beliefs of the individual.

To the child who has been reared to dread G.o.d, who has come to look upon the Creator as an ever present "threat," how is it possible to convey the beautiful teaching of His fatherhood?

FEAR OF NOISES

How frequently some unusual noise leads a parent to say: "Keep still!

What was that? Did you hear that noise?" The little folks of the family are startled, their eyes grow large and their faces pale, while they cling to the frightened mother. Of course, investigation usually shows that the strange and alarming noise was merely the slamming of a cellar door, the rattling of a curtain in the wind, some one walking about downstairs, or the action of the new furnace regulator in the bas.e.m.e.nt. But meantime the harm is done to the children--fear, the worst enemy of childhood, has been unconsciously planted in the mind by the thoughtless and nervous parent.