The Mother And Her Child Part 57

CHAPTER x.x.xVIII

PLAY AND RECREATION

There are a number of theories advocated by late authors on the "psychology of play," in which they connect the free and easy play of the modern child with the more serious and sober pursuits of our ancestors--our racial parents of prehistoric and primitive times. We quote from _Worry and Nervousness_:

And so we are told that the spectacle of the young infant suspending its weight while holding on to some object, and the early instincts so commonly shown to climb ladders, trees, or anything else available, are but racial mementos of our ancestral forest life. The hide and seek games, the desires to convert a blanket into a tent, the instinct for "shanties"--which all boys universally manifest--we are told that these forms of play are but the echo of remote ages when our ancestors sojourned in caves, lived in tents, or dwelt in the mountain fastness. In this same way the advocates of this theory seek to explain the strange and early drawings which the young lad has for wading, swimming, fis.h.i.+ng, boating, and other forms of aquatic recreation.[C]

In this chapter we purpose to discuss the play of the child, whose career we will divide, for convenience, into three stages:

1. The age from three to six--juvenile days.

2. The age from six to twelve--the "going to school" child.

3. The age from twelve to twenty--the adolescent youth.

[C] William S. Sadler, _Worry and Nervousness_, p. 377.

JUVENILE PLAY DAYS

As nearly as is possible the little child should be out of doors the greater part of his waking hours: To our mind it is nothing short of criminal to keep the little folks in the house when the weather permits outdoor life.

Of the outdoor games which we have to suggest, perhaps the sand pile stands at the head of the list. Clean white sand should be placed in an inclosure just low enough for the child to climb over. Many, many happy hours may be spent in this sand pile, at the same time the little fellow is in his own yard and the watchful mother knows the drift of the conversations which take place.

In a previous chapter we called attention to the fact that the little girls' frocks should be provided with knickerbockers, so that she may run and jump, or sit as comfortable as the little boy, without a conscious reproof ever ringing in her ears, "Mary, do keep your dress down."

OUTDOOR PLAY

Tree climbing is another source of enjoyment to these little people and they should early be taught how to climb. Instead of suggesting fear to the child let the mother go into the yard and talk with her something like this: "Now, Mary, put your foot in that fork, now catch hold of that upper limb, hold on tight, you will get there yet;"

instead of the following conversation, which all of our readers have heard: "John, do take care or you will fall and break your neck; be careful, you will fall. There, I knew you'd fall!" etc. Both mothers are trying to accomplish the same thing--one mother suggests "fore-thought," while the second mother thoughtlessly suggests "fear-thought."

These little people should be provided with rakes, spades, and hoes, and a portion of the yard should be given them in which they are at liberty to dig and rake and have a royal good time. We have yet to see the child who is not interested in flower-bed making, and the mother should think of the virgin opportunity to instill the story of life into the child's mind as he plants the seed, and day by day watches its development and growth.

A pen of rabbits may be a good thing, if proper measures are taken to prevent their burrowing out of the pen, destroying the lawn, causing much sadness of heart to their little keeper, and no end of annoyance to the neighbors.

Roller skating and hoop rolling, as well as sledding, are all valuable recreations. The snowman, s...o...b..lling, and the sled riding all bring the ruddy glow of health to the cheek, and are wonderful producers of good appet.i.tes and restorers of "tired out nerves."

INDOOR GAMES

There is no end to the number of things that can be done when the weather shuts us in, but before we take up these games let us never forget that every child thoroughly enjoys going out in the rain well protected with rubber boots, raincoat, and umbrella.

It is not extravagant to burn plenty of electricity or gas on cloudy days, for the artificial sunlight helps to cheer the heart. Such indoor games as those which may be had from blocks, puzzles, cutting out of pictures, darning of cardboard, soldier games, dolls, housekeeping, etc., are all splendid means of recreation for the little ones. Let the mother or caretaker join with the little folks in these pleasant games. For the older children, checkers and dominoes are most excellent indoor games.

THE "GOING TO SCHOOL" CHILD

First of all we must decide upon the bedtime hour, as well as the hour for rising. Between the ages of six to twelve, the bedtime hour should be eight o'clock, or not later than eight-thirty, and the rising hour at seven, or seven-thirty in the morning, for children of this age require eleven to twelve hours sleep.

Again, there must be taken into consideration the home work that the children at school are asked to do by their teachers. While this home work is not usually taxing, yet the time spent in doing the work must be taken account of. In our opinion the best time for home work is an hour and a half to two hours after the little fellow gets home from school. He should be allowed to relax for one and a half or two hours, to play out of doors whenever the weather permits, and then with either his mother or his caretaker from one-half to three-quarters of an hour should be spent on the lesson for the following day. Following this, the dinner hour is enjoyed with the parents, and after that there should always be provision in the daily duties of the father and mother for at least a half hour for the evening romp; so that play and recreation during the school age occupies possibly not more than two or two and one-half hours a day outside of school hours.

The playgrounds of schools are of inestimable value, and we quite agree with one who said: "If we can only afford one of the two--the playground or the school--have the playground first and afterward the school." The small parks and playgrounds of the cities are a great blessing to the little folks.

COMPANIONS

The companions of the school child are usually his playfellows at school, and we urge the throwing open of the home during inclement weather to allow these school friends to come in and make trains out of our chairs and tents out of our couch covers, steamer rugs, afghans, etc.

We do suggest that caution be used in allowing children to play indoors who are suffering from colds in the head, running noses, running ears, tuberculosis, or other chronic disorders, which are often highly contagious. Running noses and running ears, as well as tuberculosis, may be contracted by susceptible children when the play at recreation time takes place indoors; while such disorders are much less dangerous in connection with outdoor play.

We are well aware of the fact that some playmates may choose the bathroom, requesting that doors be locked, or wish to play in a bedroom securely away from mother and the caretaker. Under no circ.u.mstances should this be allowed. Let the child early learn that good wholesome play in the open is better than secretive misdemeanor behind closed doors.

THE "IN THE HOUSE" HOUR

It is a pitiful fact that many mothers apparently are wholly unconcerned as to the whereabouts of their little folks, even after dusk; this is unwise to say the least, for a boy or girl under twelve years of age should be found under the parental roof at dusk. The city mother should impress upon her child that when the street lamps are lighted his first duty is at once to come into the house. During the winter months this lighting of the street lamps occurs anywhere from four to six. During the summer months another rule should be laid down, depending upon the neighborhood, the character of the friends on the street, the surroundings, etc. By all means let us see that our young people are in the house by dusk.

PARTIES

Every mother who reads these lines has had to meet this question: "Shall I let my little one begin to go to parties?" and every mother will have to answer that question for herself. We personally feel that the social life extended by the school, together with the meeting of the companions at Sunday school, in the park, or on the playground, is quite enough; and we deplore the fact that many children grow into the idea that much time must be spent at "parties" in the drawing-room under unnatural surroundings, in dressed-up clothes, eating ice cream and cake, etc. Outdoor gatherings of children are wholesome and hygienic, but most of these indoor gatherings of groups of children we consider decidedly unhygienic. One child coming down with scarlet fever, measles, or whooping cough can infect twenty others at an afternoon party. The eating of so much ice cream, candy, and cake is deplorable in that it upsets the digestion, and all this is irritating to the developing nervous system of the child; and not infrequently brings on a lot of other symptoms, resulting in discomfort and disease. We believe in outdoor picnics but not in too frequent indoor parties.

PICNICS

Groups of children gathering in the park, on the beach, in the woods, when well chaperoned, are among the pleasant and profitable pleasures of childhood. It is just such gatherings that mothers and children should indulge in--and once a week is not too often during the long vacation. The mothers, too, should enter enthusiastically into the joys of a day's outing, where the enormous intake of oxygen, the hearty laughter, the races, the games, etc., all create a wonderful appet.i.te, which can be so delightfully satiated from the well-filled lunch baskets; and while the children are thus playing together what a wonderful opportunity for the mothers to engage in an exchange of helpful ideas. Each mother has her own way, which is "the best way" to make this cake or that salad; or has met this particular difficulty in child training in a carefully thought out way; a neighborhood women's club can thus be held out in the open, while the children are having the time of their lives in the frolic of the picnic.

"MOVIES"

The movie is an inst.i.tution that has come to stay, and today mothers everywhere are perhaps discussing this particular inst.i.tution more than any other. The movie affords a wonderful opportunity to see the sights and scenes of other lands, of feeding the imagination of the child on travel pictures and nature pictures. It is a most deplorable fact, however, that this wonderful inst.i.tution which is fraught with so many opportunities to educate and enlighten the mind of the growing child has carefully to be censored. Women's clubs have done much to purify the movies for the school-age child; many theaters are now showing on certain days a special afternoon movie for the children; and while many of these movies have great possibilities for good, we most earnestly urge that the school child see the movie that he is to see before dinner, and not have his mind excited and his nervous system "thrilled" just before going to bed. Someone asked me several years ago, "Are you going to let your little fellow go to movies?" I instantly answered, "No, but I shall take him." If the mother or the father sits by the side of a growing child and carefully, thoughtfully, and, yes, prayerfully, points out the good and explains the evil, then even the questionable movies will prove the means of bringing father and son and mother and daughter, into closer companions.h.i.+p.

Under no circ.u.mstances should children under twelve years of age be taken to long lectures, entertainments, or concerts, which will keep them out until eleven.

VACATIONS

Let the vacation be well planned. This is the opportunity "de luxe"

for the child to earn a few pennies to enlarge his bank account. Allow him a truck garden, guinea pigs, chickens, anything remunerative, which will enable him to become one of the world's workers and one of the world's savers. Let him start a bank account when he is six, and watch him as he puts the dime in the bank, instead of taking it to the ice-cream-soda cas.h.i.+er.

Some time during the vacation, if possible, mother and father should accompany the little folks to the camp, to the beach--somewhere, anywhere--to get back to nature and live like Indians for a short time. Each member of the family will come back rested, happier, and more ready for the next year's work.

In the summer time learn to eat on the porch--it is great sport for the children. Many meals can be served on porches that are so often served in hot, stuffy rooms.

The "home" does not consist in the furniture, the rooms, the bric-a-brac, or the curtains. The home is the mother and the father and the children and the spirit of good fellows.h.i.+p which should possess them. Make the companions of the little folks very welcome, letting them learn the early use and abuse of the different articles of furniture in the house. It is all right to play tent with the beautiful couch cover; it is all right at certain times to dress up in father's best clothes and mother's beautiful gown, but while they are thus having a good time let them learn that all these things are to be used and not abused.