The Iron Queen Part 5

I pulled it open and found myself in a dense forest glen, broad-leafed trees surrounding us on every side and a babbling stream cutting through the clearing. Sunlight dappled the forest floor, and a pair of spotted deer raised their heads to watch us, curious and unafraid.

Ash stepped through the stony mound we'd exited, and the door creaked shut behind him. He took in the forest surroundings with one smooth, practiced gaze, and turned to Grimalkin.

"There are several trows watching us from the bushes. Are they going to be a problem?"

Startled, I scanned the clearing, searching for the elusive trows, which, from what I understood, were squat, ugly fey who lived underground, but apart from the deer, we appeared to be alone. Grimalkin yawned and scratched behind an ear.

"Leanansidhe's groundskeepers," he said offhandedly. "Nothing to worry about. If you hear feet moving around the cabin at night, it is probably them. Or the brownies."

"What cabin?" I asked, gazing around the clearing. "I don't see a cabin."

"Of course not. This way, human." Tail up, Grimalkin trotted across the clearing, hopped the stream, and disappeared midjump.

I sighed. "Why does he always do that?"

"I don't think it was on purpose this time," Ash said, and took my hand. "Come on."

We crossed the glen, pa.s.sing very close to the deer, who still didn't run away, and hopped over the little stream.

As soon as my feet left the ground, I felt a tingle of magic, like I was jumping through an invisible barrier. When I landed, I was no longer staring at empty forest but an enormous, two-story lodge with a veranda that circled the entire upper deck and smoke writhing from the chimney. The front of it stood on stilts, a good twenty-something feet off the ground, and gave the front deck a fantastic view of the whole clearing.

I gaped. "This is her 'quaint little hideaway'? I was thinking more along the lines of a one-room cabin with an out-house or something."

"That's Leanansidhe," Ash said, sounding amused. "She could have glamoured the outside to look like a rundown cabin instead of hiding the whole thing, but I don't think that's her style." He gazed up at the looming structure and frowned. "I hear music."

My heart jumped. "Piano music? My dad!"

We raced up the steps, taking them two at a time, and burst into the living room, where a cheerful fire crackled in the hearth and the dark strains of piano music pounded from the corner.

My dad sat at the piano bench, his lank brown hair falling into his eyes, his skinny shoulders hunched over the keys. Slouched a few feet away, with his shoes on the coffee table and his hands behind his head, was Puck.

Puck caught my gaze and smirked, but I ignored him as I rushed to the piano bench. "Dad!" I had to shout to be heard over the music. "Dad! Do you recognize me? It's Meghan. Meghan, your daughter. Do you remember?"

He hunched even farther over the keys, pounding on them like his life depended on it. I grabbed his arm and yanked him around, forcing him to look at me. "Dad!"

His hazel eyes, empty as the sky, stared right through me, and I felt an icy spear plunge into my stomach. I let him go, and he immediately went back to playing the piano, pounding the keys as I staggered back and sank into a nearby chair.

"What's wrong with him?" I whispered.

Grimalkin leaped up beside me. "Remember, human, he has been in Faery for a very long time. Also, until just recently, he was a musical instrument, which was probably fairly traumatic. It is to be expected that his mind is a little fractured. Give him time, and he should come out of it eventually."

"Should?" I choked, but the cat had moved on to was.h.i.+ng his back toes and did not reply.

I hid my face in my hands, then pulled them back and glared at Puck. "What are you doing here?" I asked stonily.

"Me?" Puck leered at me, smug and looking not the least bit sorry. "I'm on vacation, princess."

"Go away," I told him, rising from my seat. "Go back to Oberon and leave us alone. You've done enough damage."

"He cannot go back to Oberon," Grimalkin said, leaping to the back of the couch. "Oberon exiled him when he came after you. He disobeyed the king's orders and has been banished from the Nevernever."

Guilt now joined the swirl of angry emotions, and I stared at Puck in disbelief. "That was stupid," I told him. "Why would you get yourself banished like that? Now you're stuck here with the rest of us."

Puck's eyes gleamed, feral and menacing. "Oh, I don't know, princess. Maybe it was because I was stupid enough to care about you. Maybe I actually thought I had a chance. Silly me, thinking that one little kiss meant anything to you."

"You kissed him?" Ash sounded like he was trying to hide his shock. I cringed. Things were rapidly spinning out of control. My father seemed to pick up on the tension, and banged harder on the keys.

I stared at Puck, torn between anger and guilt. "We're not talking about that right now," I began, but he overrode me.

"Oh, I think we should," Puck interrupted, crossing his arms. I started to protest, but he raised his voice. "So, tell me, princess, when you said you loved me, was that a lie?"

Ash went rigid; I could feel his eyes on me, and cursed Puck for bringing this up now. Puck was watching me too, lips curled in a smirk, enjoying my reaction. I wanted to hit him and apologize at the same time, but anger was stronger.

I took a breath. Fine. If Puck wanted to force the issue now, I'd tell him the truth. "No," I said, raising my voice to be heard over the piano chords. "I didn't lie to you, Puck. I meant what I said-at least, I did back then. But it's not the same as what I feel for Ash, you knew that."

"Did I?" Puck's voice was ugly. "Maybe I did, but you sure led me on a merry chase, princess. Just like a pro. When were you going to tell me I didn't have a cold chance in h.e.l.l?"

"I don't know!" I snapped, taking a step forward and clenching my fists. "When were you going to tell me about my father, Puck? When were you going to tell me you knew where he was all along?"

Puck fell silent, watching me with a sullen expression. The clanging of the piano filled the room, frantic and chaotic. In the corner, Ash was motionless; he could've been made of stone.

Rising from the couch, Puck swept a cruel gaze at us all and broke into a sneer.

"You know, I think I will get out of here," he drawled. "It's gotten crowded of late, and I was just thinking I needed a vacation." Glancing at Ash, he smirked and shook his head. "Not enough room in this cabin for both of us, ice-boy. You ever want that duel, you can find me in the woods. And if either one of you comes up with an actual plan, do me a favor and leave me out of it. I'm outta here."

With a last sneer, Puck walked across the room and out the door without looking back.

Guilt and anger flared, but I turned back to my dad, whose frantic banging on the piano keys had calmed somewhat. I had other things to worry about besides Puck. "Dad," I said quietly, slipping beside him. "You need to stop now. Just for a little while, okay? Will you stop?" I pried his hands away from the keys, and this time he let me, dropping them to his lap. So he wasn't completely unreachable, that was good. He still didn't look at me, though, and I studied the lean, haggard face, the lines around his eyes and mouth even though he was a fairly young man, and felt close to despair.

Ash appeared beside me, close but not quite touching. "The master bedroom is down the hall," he said quietly. "I think your father will be comfortable there, if you can get him to follow you."

In a daze, I nodded. Somehow, we got my dad on his feet and led him down the hall to the large bedroom at the end. Leanansidhe's master bedroom didn't lack anything in luxury, from the four-poster bed to the bubbling natural hot spring in the bathroom, but it still felt like a jail cell as I ushered my dad inside and shut the door behind him.

Leaning against the door, I shook with exhausted tears, feeling stretched in several directions at once. Ash hovered nearby, just watching. He looked uncomfortable, like he wanted to pull me close, but there was a barrier between us now, the admission with Puck hanging in the air like barbed wire.

"Come on," Ash murmured, finally brus.h.i.+ng my arm. "There's nothing you can do for him now. You're exhausted, and you can't help anyone like this. Get some rest."

Feeling numb, I let him lead me away, down the hall and up a flight of stairs to the loft overlooking the main room. A rustic log railing barred the edge, where you could peer down on the living room below, and a queen-size bed with a grizzly-bear rug complete with head and claws crouched under the eaves.

Ash dragged the awful bear rug off the bed and motioned for me to get in. In a daze, I settled on top of the covers. Without the piano chords, the cabin seemed unnaturally quiet, the silence thudding in my ears. Ash loomed over me, strangely formal and unsure. "I'll be downstairs," he murmured. "Try to get some sleep." He started to pull away, but I reached up and grabbed his hand, holding it tight.

"Ash, wait," I said, and he went perfectly still. It might've been too soon, reaching out for him, but I was drowning in an overload of emotion: anger at Puck, worry for my dad, fear that I'd just sabotaged my relations.h.i.+p with Ash. "I can't be alone right now," I whispered, clinging to his hand. "Please, just stay with me for a little while. You don't have to say anything, we don't have to talk. Just...stay. Please."

He hesitated. I saw the indecision in his eyes, the silent battle, before he finally nodded. Sliding onto the bed, he leaned back against the headboard and I curled up beside him, content just to feel him near me. I heard his heartbeat, despite the rigid way he held himself, and caught a glimmer of emotion surrounding him like a hazy aura, a reaction he wasn't able to hide.

I blinked. "You're...jealous," I said in disbelief. Ash, former prince of the Unseelie Court, was jealous. Of Puck. I didn't know why I found that so surprising; maybe Ash seemed too calm and self-a.s.sured to be jealous. But there was no mistaking what I saw.

Ash s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably and gave me a look from the corner of his eye. "Is that so wrong?" he asked softly, turning to stare at the far wall. "Is it so wrong to be jealous, when I heard that you kissed him, when you told him..." He trailed off, raking a hand through his hair, and I bit my lip. "I know I was the one who left," he continued, still staring at the wall. "I said we were enemies and that we couldn't be together. I knew it would break your heart, but...I also knew Puck would be there to pick up the pieces. Whatever came of that, I brought on myself. I know I have no right to ask..." He stopped, taking a short breath, as if that confession had been difficult. I held my breath, knowing there was more.

"But," he went on, finally turning to me, "I have to know, Meghan. I can't wonder about this, not with him. Or you. It will drive me crazy." He sighed and suddenly took my hand, staring at our tangled fingers. "You know what I feel for you. You know I'll protect you from whatever comes at us, but this is the one thing I can't fight."

"Ash-"

"If you're torn about whether you want to be with Goodfellow, tell me now. I'll step down, give you s.p.a.ce, whatever you want me to do." Ash trembled, just a little, as he said this. I felt his heart speed up as he turned to meet my gaze, his silver eyes intense. "Just answer me this today, and I'll never ask you again. Do you love him?"

I took a breath, ready to deny it immediately, but stopped. I couldn't give him a short, flippant answer, not when he was looking at me like that. He deserved to know the truth. All of it.

"I did," I said softly. "At least, I thought I did. I'm not so sure now." I paused, choosing my words carefully. Ash waited, his whole body tense like a coiled wire, as I gathered my thoughts. "When you left," I went on, "I was hurt. I thought I wouldn't see you again. You told me we were enemies, that we couldn't be together, and I believed you. I was angry and confused, and Puck was there to pick up the pieces, like you said. It was easy to turn to Puck because I knew how he felt. And, for a little while, I thought I might...love him, too.

"But," I continued, as my voice started to shake, "when I saw you again, I realized what I felt for Puck wasn't the same. He was my best friend, and I'd always have a spot for him in my heart, but...it was you, Ash. I didn't really have a choice. It's always been you."

Ash didn't say anything, but I heard his faint sigh, as if he'd been holding his breath, and he drew me close, wrapping his arms around me. I lay my head on his chest and closed my eyes, shoving thoughts of Puck and my dad and the false king to the back of my mind. I would deal with them tomorrow. Right now, I just wanted to sleep, to sink into oblivion and forget everything for a little while. Ash was still quiet, thoughtful. His glamour aura glimmered once, then flickered out of sight again. But all I had to do was listen to his heart, thudding in his chest, to know what he was feeling.

"Talk to me," I whispered, tracing his ribs through his s.h.i.+rt, making him s.h.i.+ver. "Please. The silence is driving me crazy. I don't want to hear myself think right now."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything. Tell me a story. Tell me about the places you've been. Anything to keep my mind off...everything."

Ash paused. After a moment, he started humming a soft, slow melody, drowning out the silence. It was a haunting, peaceful tune, reminding me of falling snow and hibernating trees and animals huddled in their dens, sleeping the winter away. I felt his hand running the length of my back, a gentle rhythm in time with the lullaby, and sleep crept over me like a warm blanket.

"Ash?" I whispered, as my eyelids began to drift shut.

"Yes?"

"Don't leave me, all right?

"I already promised that I would stay." He stroked my hair, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "For as long as you want me."

"Ash?"

"Mmm?"

"...I love you."

His hands stilled; I felt them tremble. "I know," he murmured, bending his head close to mine. "Get some sleep. I'll be right here."

His deep voice was the last thing I heard before I drifted into the void.

"h.e.l.lO, MY LOVE," Machina whispered, holding out his hands as I approached, steel cables writhing behind him in a hypnotic dance. Tall and elegant, his long silver hair rippling like liquid mercury, he watched me with eyes as black as night. "I have been waiting for you." Machina whispered, holding out his hands as I approached, steel cables writhing behind him in a hypnotic dance. Tall and elegant, his long silver hair rippling like liquid mercury, he watched me with eyes as black as night. "I have been waiting for you."

"Machina." I s.h.i.+vered, gazing around the empty void, hearing my voice echo all around us. We were alone in the fathomless dark. "Where am I? Why are you here? I thought I killed you."

The Iron King smiled, silver hair glowing in the utter darkness. "You can never be rid of me, Meghan Chase. We are one, now and forever. You just have not accepted that yet. Come." He beckoned me forward. "Come to me, my love, and let me show you what I mean."

I backed away. "Stop calling me that. I'm not yours." He drifted closer, and I took another step back. "And you're not supposed to be here. Stop lurking around my dreams. I already have someone, and it's not you."

Machina's smile didn't falter. "Ah, yes. Your Unseelie prince. Do you really think you'll be able to keep him once you realize who you really are? Do you think he will even want you anymore?"

"What do you know about that? You're just a dream-a nightmare, really."

"No, my love." Machina shook his head. "I am the part of you that you cannot bring yourself to accept. And as long as you keep denying me, you will never understand your true potential. Without me, you will never be enough to defeat the false king."

"I'll take my chances." Narrowing my eyes, I stabbed a finger at him. "And now, I think it's time you went away. This is my my dream, and you're not welcome here. Get out." dream, and you're not welcome here. Get out."

Machina shook his head sadly. "Very well, Meghan Chase. If you decide you need me after all-and you will-I will be right here."

"Don't hold your breath," I mumbled, and my own voice woke me up.

I BLINKED AND RAISED BLINKED AND RAISED my head from the pillow. The room was dark, but outside the round loft window, gray light filtered in from a brightening sky. Ash was gone and the s.p.a.ce beside me was cold. He'd left sometime during the night. my head from the pillow. The room was dark, but outside the round loft window, gray light filtered in from a brightening sky. Ash was gone and the s.p.a.ce beside me was cold. He'd left sometime during the night.

The scent of bacon drifted up from below, and my stomach grumbled a response. I headed downstairs, wondering who was cooking at such an early hour. The image of Ash flipping pancakes in a white ap.r.o.n came to mind, and I giggled hysterically as I entered the kitchen.

Ash wasn't there, and neither was Puck, but Grimalkin looked up from a table laden with food. Eggs, pancakes, bacon, biscuits, fruit, and oatmeal covered every surface of the tabletop, along with whole pitchers of milk and orange juice. Grimalkin, sitting on the corner, blinked at me once, then went back to dunking his paw in a gla.s.s of milk and licking it off.

"What is all this?" I asked, amazed. "Did Dad cook? Or... Ash?"

Grimalkin snorted. "Those two? I shudder to think of the consequences. No, Leanansidhe's brownies took care of this, just like they have cleaned your room and made your bed by now." He observed the opaque white droplets on his paw and flicked them off rapidly.

"Where is everyone?"

"The human is still asleep. Goodfellow has not returned, though I am sure he will sometime in the future, probably with the ire of all the local fey on his heels."

"I don't care what Puck does. He can get eaten by trolls for all I care." Grimalkin seemed unfazed by my hostility and calmly licked a paw. I picked at the scrambled eggs sitting before me. "Where's Ash?"

"The Winter prince left yesterday evening while you were asleep and said nothing about where he was going, of course. He returned a few minutes ago."

"He left? Where is he now?"

A thump from the door drew our attention. Paul wandered into the kitchen, shuffling like a zombie, his hair in disarray. He didn't look at either of us.

"Hey," I greeted softly, but I might as well have saved my breath. Paul acted like he didn't hear me. Staring at the laden breakfast table, he picked up a piece of toast, nibbled a corner, and wandered back out, all without acknowledging my existence.

My appet.i.te fled. Grimalkin eyed the gla.s.s of milk perched on the corner and tapped it experimentally. "By the way," he continued as I stared moodily out the door, "your Winter prince wishes you to meet him in the clearing beyond the stream after you have eaten. He implied that it was important."

I grabbed a bacon slice and nibbled half-heartedly. "Ash did? Why?"

"I did not care enough to ask."

"What about my dad?" I glanced in the direction Paul had gone. "Will he be safe? Should I just leave him alone?"