Prarie Fire Part 6

"What is the last reason, Nali?" Sarah asked with trepidation.

"He believes you hold the power to dream."

"I'm not sure I understand. I do dream, doesn't everyone?"

"Do your dreams come true? Does the world seem to slow so that you may inspect that one moment in time more closely? Do you know things that you cannot explain but know to be true? When you look into a man's eyes, can you see into his heart?" Tima watched as Sarah stared at the ground in silence. "Do any part of your dreams come true?"

Sarah nodded and Tima waited for her to continue.

"When I was a girl, I dreamed that my mother died. A short time later, she did. I thought her death was my fault. I thought if I told anyone, they'd say I was a witch."

Suddenly, Sarah recalled recent events when she couldn't explain the odd feelings she'd experienced. She knew Peter was sick before the cancer ravaged his body. She remembered looking into Dale Karsten's eyes just before Devlin shot him dead. At that moment, she'd known exactly what he was going to do, when he was going to draw his gun.

"Even now, I have dreams, and sometimes a small piece of what I remember will come true."

"But not everything?"

"No, not everything. Sometimes I see things, sometimes people I don't know talk to me, but I don't always understand what they say. Every now and again, I'll dream something allegorical."

"I don't understand this word."

Sarah had reverted to English to find the right word and now she tried to explain in Chahta. "It means that my dreams aren't literal. They represent some idea or something like it that will happen. It's like when I dreamed of a dark warrior who would rescue me, then Redhawk came into my life."

"Visions," Tima said flatly. "You have the power to dream, Sakli. You should become Chahta, accept your secret name, and begin your training."

"Training for what?"

"To become Alikchi."

"Train to become a medicine woman? Nali, I don't want that kind of power. It's too big a responsibility."

"Do not look so fearful, little one. There is no penalty for not accepting."

"But what if it's my destiny and I turn my back on it?"

"Your destiny is your destiny. If you do not go to it, it will come to you," Tima said matter-of-factly.

"Will the spirits turn their back on me or on my family if I don't accept?"

"Sakli, you speak as though you are Chahta." Tima smiled.

Sarah chuckled nervously. "Sometimes I feel more at home here than anywhere else. I don't want to be punished. I don't want my family to suffer for something I've done or haven't done."

"Do you believe in the white man's spirits?"

"We have only one spirit and we call him G.o.d. Yes, I do believe. It's the religions and laws, the things that man has done in this G.o.d's name that I have no stomach for."

Tima nodded in understanding. "Even among the Chahta, our ways have changed. We feel your white man's religions in our own ways, a little more every season. Sakli, is this the way the white man's G.o.d treats him? Punishes him for being human? Is that why you fear?"

"I suppose it's not the way G.o.d treats us. It's man's interpretation of why G.o.d does the things He does. We can't understand the mysteries of a being so great, so we make up reasons as to why."

"The white man's reasons are based on fear. The Chahta do the same thing, in a sense. I learned the stories of my people that my grandmother taught me. If you become Chahta, I will teach your daughter these stories. The difference between my people and yours is that the clan bases its stories on love and acceptance. Our whole way of life exists within the sacred hoop."

"Is that the medicine wheel that you taught me to pray?"

"Omi, it is, but it is more than a simple prayer. It is the way we live our life. The medicine wheel is the circle in which our world exists. Our life is a circle and everything in our world-plants, animals, even the ground we walk upon-is a part of that living circle and has as equal a status as ourselves."

"I don't think I'm ready for this yet."

Tima reached over and brushed the golden hair from Sarah's face. "You will know when you are ready. When you and Redhawk are ready for itauaya, you can speak about becoming Chahta. Come, it's getting late. We will make room for you and Redhawk at my iksita."

"Thank you," Sarah said in relief.

They walked back to the village the way they had left, both listening to the sounds of the prairie around them. Sarah pulled her shawl tighter around her. The cool evening winds blew in from the north.

"Nali, when you said that I could become Chahta so that Redhawk and I might be married, was that true? Could we really be married?"

"Omi. You would have to become Chahta and a family would need to adopt you into the clan. The ceremonies are not easy, but the spirits smile on you, Sakli. I think your spiritual journeys will not be too hard. The spirits will speak out to a family in the clan and they will adopt you. Then we would perform itauayachi for you and Redhawk. Your warrior will have to build an iksita of your own, but the other warriors of the clan will help her."

Tima never asked if this was what Sarah wanted. She could see it in Sarah's eyes. She could also see the fear of the unknown there in her face. The white man's fears. Tima knew that Sarah was a woman of determination and fierce pride. When placed in a position to choose, Tima knew she would choose wisely.

Chapter 7.

Devlin met Tima and Sarah as they entered the village. She grinned and held up a long, st.u.r.dy stick. The piece of ash held half a dozen large fish, gutted and ready for the fire.

"My daughter, I miss the food you bring to my iksita!" Tima said with pride.

"As long as I don't have to cook them, I'm happy to bring them to your hearth, Mother."

They enjoyed some lighthearted banter while Devlin stripped down to her unders.h.i.+rt. "I have to wash up."

Tima gave her some ground yucca root and a soft cloth. Devlin turned to walk to the stream when Sarah brought up what she and Tima had spoken about earlier.

"Dev, Tima talked to me about becoming Chahta," she said in her enthusiasm.

Devlin stopped and shot an angry glance in Tima's direction. "It wouldn't be a good idea," she said between clenched teeth.

"She said we could be married that way, Dev."

"Sarah, please." Devlin placed her hands on Sarah's arms. "Tima, why would you tell her these things without consulting me first?"

"Consulting you first?" Sarah angrily shrugged out of Devlin's grasp. "Devlin, I am not a child." Her voice rose with each syllable.

Devlin knew she was about to say the wrong thing, but she blurted out the words anyway. "Then stop acting like one."

Sarah took a step back and Devlin immediately regretted her retort. She had spoken out of fear and nothing more. She could barely believe that she was the one who put that expression on Sarah's face. She looked as if Devlin had slapped her. Devlin didn't wait to hear Sarah's reply. What could she say that Devlin wasn't already saying to herself? She spun on one heel and stalked away to the creek.

The sun had dipped low in the western horizon as Sarah once more helped Tima change the poultice on the old man. She hadn't said a word to Tima, but Tima could feel anger and sorrow surrounding her. Tima also showed Sarah how to prepare the fish to roast slowly over the coals of the fire.

Neither woman made small talk as Tima taught Sarah how to make paska banaha, Choctaw bread, which was more like dumplings. Tima mixed cornmeal and water, adding the water until the mixture was stiff enough to shape into oblong b.a.l.l.s the size of a fist. She then wrapped them in corn shucks, which she tied in the middle with corn silk and dropped into a deep pot of boiling water.

Most of the women in the village used wooden ampos, or dishes, and boiled water by continually adding heated rocks from the fire. Sarah had remembered to bring metal pots with her on this visit and bartered with the women who would not accept them as gifts.

"You should go to her, Sakli. The meal is nearly ready," Tima said.

"She's a big girl. She knows when her supper is ready."

Tima watched Sarah and noticed that her voice no longer carried anger, only a sadness that touched Tima's heart. Tima felt responsible for Devlin's anger and the strong words it had caused between Devlin and Sarah. "She is full of pride, Sakli, and she knows that she has hurt you with her words, but pride and shame are a strong combination. She sits even now and finds herself unworthy of your heart."

Sarah's heart broke at the thought that a few harsh words could make Devlin doubt the depth of her commitment to their love. In the same instant, doubt plucked at her heart. Devlin had acted so angry at the thought of Sarah becoming Chahta. Was it possible that Devlin wasn't as committed to Sarah as she thought?

"You're right, but I don't know what to say to make it right between us."

"Sakli," Tima's voice was as smooth as an eagle floating on the wind, "when you find her, you will need no words to express what is in your heart."

Sarah offered a smile and went off in search of Devlin. Tima stopped her and suggested that she take a rabbit skin robe to combat the chill autumn air. Tima gave a bittersweet smile as she watched Sarah walk away. She banked the coals of the iksita and wrapped the food in leaves to keep it warm, knowing it would be some time before the two women would return to her chuka.

It didn't take long for Sarah to find Devlin; she was where Tima said she would be. Devlin sat among the boulders that led to the village's lookout point. She sat with her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms hugging the long limbs to her body. She was so lost in thought that she let Sarah get within inches before jumping up, her hand instinctively reaching for her pistol.

"Sarah! h.e.l.lfire, I could have hurt you!" It took only a breath of time for Devlin to realize what she'd just said. "I did hurt you. I'm so sorry."

Sarah nearly launched herself into Devlin's solid embrace. "I'm sorry, Dev, I didn't mean to make you angry."

"No, sweetheart, it wasn't you, it-it just took me by surprise is all. I don't want to see you hurt."

"It's all right. You don't have to marry me, I just thought-"

"Oh, sachu-kash, is that what you think?" Devlin pulled away. "That I don't want to marry you? That's not it at all. Come here, love, and sit down." The two women settled on the rocks and Devlin wrapped the fur robe around Sarah's shoulders. Devlin took Sarah's hands. She didn't seem to know where to start.

"Dev, if it's not that you don't want to marry me in front of your family, then what? Do you not want me to become Chahta?" Sarah asked in confusion.

"Sachu-kash, it has nothing to do with me wanting or not wanting to marry you, which I happen to want to do very much." Devlin kissed the hands in her grasp and her heart became lighter at the smile with which Sarah rewarded her.

"To become Chahta, you have to go through a purification process. A quest, a journey. These rituals are hard enough to get through when you've been raised with the clan and all their teachings, but it can be torture to people who've been brought up in the white man's world. It can feel like you're being ripped in half. Part of you will embrace the spirits, but part of you will have the white man's culture so deeply ingrained in you that it would rather suffer than be tossed aside." Devlin paused to lay the palm of her hand against Sarah's cheek.

"It's hard and painful, Sarah. I just don't want to see you go through anything that might hurt you. I know that's selfish and pigheaded of me, but it's how I feel." Devlin lowered her head, waiting for the reprimand. She was surprised by the gentle kiss she felt on the top of her head.

"Forgive me, Dev. For not understanding."

"I didn't give you much time to."

"True," Sarah smiled, "but by now, I know you. I should have realized that you would be thinking about my protection. That's new to me."

"Sarah, I love you. I loved you before we even met. I don't want to leave you or be with anyone else, but it would tear a piece of my soul away if something were to happen to you. A quest can be dangerous...three, maybe four days without food or water. It takes a monumental commitment, too. I prayed for almost a year before I went on my first quest. I worry for you, wanting to go through this just for me."

"First off, I wouldn't be doing this just for you. I would be doing it for us, for the children, so that all of us could be one family without anything to divide us. Secondly, why do you fear me doing this? I know that you don't want to see me in harm's way, but don't you have any belief in me? I'm stronger than you like to think sometimes."

"I know," Devlin muttered, lowering her head. "Too strong, maybe."

"Too strong?"

"Maybe you'll become Chahta. Maybe you'll learn that when we want something in our life, we have to be prepared to pay for it. You might see that I'm not a part of your path. Maybe I'll be the price you pay." Devlin whispered this last part and Sarah finally understood. It was Devlin's fear of abandonment that weighed heavily.

"Look at me, Devlin Brown," Sarah commanded, and Devlin's blue gaze rose to meet hers. "Hear me now. There are no spirits strong enough in this world or the next to tear me away from you. Wherever my path leads, I want you there beside me."

Devlin didn't have to think twice. She leaned over and kissed Sarah with an intensity that surprised both of them.

They pulled apart to breathe and Sarah couldn't help saying, "Now tell me. Why would I want to leave a woman who kisses like that?" She grinned.

Devlin's laughter filled up the darkness around them as she enfolded Sarah within her embrace. Sarah enjoyed the warm, comforting arms of her lover. Suddenly, all of the frightening decisions she was faced with faded into the night. She would do as Tima recommended and let her destiny come to her.

"Devlin!" Sarah hissed softly.

"What?" Devlin mustered up an innocent-sounding voice.

"Keep your hands to yourself," Sarah reprimanded for the third time.

"I want you, Sarah." Devlin teased her, kissing her soft blond head.

"Oh, Dev, what am I going to do with you?"

The light of the fire in the center of the chuka illuminated Devlin's flas.h.i.+ng white smile. "I could make you a list," Devlin whispered. "And it starts right here." Devlin placed Sarah's hand against her breast.

Sarah pulled her hand away. She had not yet become accustomed to the communal living of the clan. Sarah and Devlin stayed in Tima's chuka beside her iksita. Everything went through the women of the Thunderbird clan. When children came back to visit, they stayed at their mother's hearth. It was possible to have more than a few members sleeping in the chuka at night, if not an entire family, but Sarah was having a hard enough time with only herself, Devlin, and Tima.

Tima, like Devlin and the other clan members, had no reservations about baring their bodies to one another. Devlin tried to explain it to Sarah, but she could not get past her own inhibitions. Sarah politely turned away as Tima disrobed and climbed into her topa. Devlin unashamedly removed her own clothes, trying to put her mate at ease, but the sight of Devlin's naked body lying upon their topa did nothing to ease Sarah's shyness. In fact, the sight of Devlin's body caused Sarah more embarra.s.sment, for she was sure that everyone in the village could read her thoughts at that moment.

Now that Sarah finally lay beside Devlin in their sleeping robes, she felt the same desire Devlin did. Sarah couldn't seem to get past the fact that Tima was sleeping only six feet away.

"We'll make too much noise, Dev."

"I can be very quiet, sachu-kash."

"I'm not sure I can."

Devlin chuckled in response. "Sarah, trust me. It doesn't matter to Tima. We all live very closely in a chuka. I listened to my parents at night while I was growing up here. Loving each other and expressing that love is a part of life. It's natural and not something to be embarra.s.sed about."

Sarah sighed in exasperation. "I'm trying, Dev, really I am," she whispered.

Devlin heard the catch in her voice and realized that Sarah had reached her limit of new experiences for one day. "It's all right, Sa." She wrapped her arms around the body beside her and enjoyed the way the blond head nestled easily into that perfect spot on her shoulder. "Holding you all night is high on that list of mine, too."

The next morning, Sarah awoke before dawn, but she hadn't beat Tima out of her topa. Tima had already rolled and put away her sleeping robes. Devlin snored gently and Sarah smiled at how comfortable she looked lying there. It was as if a change had taken place within Devlin. Sarah knew part of it was Devlin's newfound happiness with their relations.h.i.+p, but a large portion was due to being home. Devlin had confided to Sarah that it was the only place she ever felt comfortable.