Prarie Fire Part 8

"Why there?"

"It seemed to make sense, I suppose. I'm not at all sure why I did it that way. I guess I thought that if I did it wrong, Tima would say something."

Devlin squeezed Sarah's hand before giving Tima another sidelong glance. "You should have told her what you were doing, Nali, that wasn't fair. Sarah, that was Tima's test. She gives it to all women she thinks might have the gift of healing."

"Tasa, it would not have been a proper test if she had known. You should remember. You took the same test," Tima said.

Devlin gave her mother a half smile, partly at the sound of her pet name, which Tima rarely used anymore, and partly in remembrance of the test. Hearing her pet name softened Devlin's rising annoyance. It was a shortened version of the word tashka, meaning "warrior." Tima had known the moment she met Devlin as a young girl that she was a warrior.

"Dev?" Sarah called for Devlin's attention. "You're a medicine woman?"

"I took the test and failed," Devlin said. "I didn't know which root was which. I didn't know where to place the medicine bag or the fact that a beaver's tail is sacred and an excellent spot to mix the healing herbs. I didn't know any of that, so Tima stopped me and told me to leave the chuka. If someone unfamiliar with the healing spirits mixes ikhish, or medicine, we believe that the spirits will grow angry and take the patient's life to show up the false pract.i.tioner."

"Oh, Dev," Sarah's hand flew to her mouth, "but that's what happened. Taano died."

"No, little Sakli," Tima said in a soft voice. "He heard the spirits calling him, yet your medicine allowed him to finish his journey. Your healing gift woke him long enough for Keeho to speak with him. Without you, he would have gone to the sacred land with his task unfinished."

"Let me get this straight then," Sarah began. "You want me to go through the rituals to become Chahta, then train to become a medicine woman, all to understand Taano's message?"

"There is more to it than that," Tima said. "The message is only a small piece. In exchange for the spirits imparting their knowledge, you will become the sacred mother to the clan. It is a great honor, as well as a responsibility."

Sarah brought her fingers to her head and ma.s.saged her temples. She jumped up and paced the roomy chuka. "I can't do this. I'm a cattlewoman. I deal with what I can feel and touch, not in what I can't see. It's too much. I can't, I just can't-"

"It's all right, sachu-kash, you don't have to do anything. Besides, this isn't something you can do right now anyway. I'm sure they mean when you're older."

"What do you mean? Tima and Keeho say they see it as my destiny." Sarah stopped pacing.

"You're too young, Sarah," Devlin said. "A woman can't start her training in the medicine way until she stops having her cycle. As long as she bleeds, she's considered too powerful. So you see? Tima and Keeho must be seeing something in your future."

Sarah looked at Devlin, and tears filled her eyes. Sarah looked over at Tima and found an expression of compa.s.sion on her face. It was that look of understanding that caused Sarah's last reserves to crumble. Suddenly, she turned and ran from the chuka.

"Sarah!" Devlin called after Sarah. Devlin sat where she was, stunned at Sarah's emotional departure. "What did I say?"

"You should go to her, Tasa. She will need gentle words from you."

"But what-"

"Go to her now," Tima said firmly.

Tima watched as Devlin left the chuka, confusion in her expression. Tima shook her head. She hoped Sakli would open up to Redhawk. It would be bad fahpo to begin their life with secrets from each other.

Chapter 8.

"Sarah? Sarah, wait!" Devlin called out.

Sarah stopped but didn't turn around. By the time Devlin caught up with her, Sarah had gotten her emotions under control, but not her tears.

"Sachu-kash, what is it? Is it something I did, something I said? Whatever it was, I'm sorry. I can fix it if you give me a chance."

Sarah took in Devlin's expression, which was equal parts remorse and pain. It seemed out of place for Devlin to be standing there looking so contrite. Just a short time before, Sarah knew this woman to be intimidating, angry, and full of fire. Now Devlin's apologetic behavior touched Sarah's heart. She couldn't hold back the innocent laughter that bubbled forth.

"You're very cute when you're not sure what it is you've done," Sarah said through her tears.

Devlin grinned and pulled Sarah into her arms. Sarah wrapped her arms around Devlin's lean waist and buried her head against her chest. Devlin kissed the top of her head. "You do know that you completely own me, don't you?"

Sarah looked up and tears glistened on her cheeks. "It's the best investment I ever made," she whispered.

Devlin wiped away Sarah's tears and kissed her forehead. "Sa, talk to me. Tell me what caused you to run away like that."

Sarah nodded and they walked hand in hand through the village, heading toward the open prairie. They found a spot under a hickory tree.

Devlin leaned back, stretching her long frame along the ground. She lifted herself up on one elbow and placed a hand on Sarah's back. "What made you run away back there, Sa?"

The winter winds swirled around the women and Sarah pulled her rabbit skin robe tightly around her shoulders. "Fear, I suppose. That and the fact that I don't ever want you to be disappointed in me."

"You should know by now that I don't think you could ever do anything that would disappoint me. What are you afraid of, sachu-kash?"

"Of what Tima and Keeho know about me. All of you rely so much on these spirits, what you can't see. It frightens me."

"That's why I was so worried about you becoming clan. It's hard. Hard to change your belief system in the middle of your life."

"It's difficult to believe in things I can't see, to think that I have gifts that make me special. This," Sarah pulled up a chunk of gra.s.s, "this I know how to deal with. I can plow in it, plant in it, and use it as feed. I can shape it into what I want."

"I know exactly what you mean. For me, this was what I believed in." Devlin laid a hand on the pistol at her hip. "This is what was real for me. It was strange thinking that no matter what I did, there were powers that had control of my life. I think that was the hardest part of all, realizing that I wasn't in complete control of my life's path."

"How did you get past it?"

"I accepted the fact that there is a solid world and a spirit world and that it's possible to live within both. I finally came to believe that I wasn't in charge of my own destiny and that there wasn't anything wrong with taking help when the spirits offered. Sometimes, sachu-kash, there's nothing wrong in depending on someone else."

Sarah tossed the chunk of earth away from her. She realized the truth in Devlin's words. They were from Devlin's experience, but they could have applied to Sarah. She feared few things in life, but depending on someone was high on that list. She remembered the expression on Tima's face just before Sarah had run from the chuka. What frightened Sarah the most was that Tima knew. She could tell by the look in Tima's eyes.

"I don't think it was a vision of the future, Devlin, the one that Tima and Keeho saw. I think what they see in me is right here, right now."

"But-"

"I can't have any more children," Sarah said as tears again filled her eyes. "I haven't had my cycle since Hannah was born."

Devlin pulled Sarah back against her and held her there. "I'm sorry, sachu-kash. Is that what made you so sad?"

"Yes, plus it scared the blazes out of me. Once you explained that a woman doesn't start her training until then, I knew that Tima had seen my future. Besides, it means there'll be no more children for the two of us."

"Well, I think at least one of us is lacking the means to make that happen anyway." Devlin grinned and kissed the back of Sarah's neck.

"I know that, silly. I've heard, I mean I know that in some cultures if a man can't father a child, his wife sleeps with someone they know, a trusted friend..." Sarah trailed off, her embarra.s.sment complete.

"Would you want that, to be with someone else?" Devlin's voice raised in pitch at the surprising admission, even though Devlin tried to hide the jealousy she instantly felt.

"No!" Both women laughed at the strength of Sarah's exclamation. "I mean, well, I thought that you-"

"Sa, I love the children we have now. I couldn't be any happier or feel any more complete than if they were truly a physical part of me. We have what we have, and frankly, this is more than I ever thought the spirits would bless me with. We don't need a child of our blood to bond us together. Our hearts couldn't be closer."

"Is it true that the Chahta believe once you're married in the clan way, your hearts belong together forever, in this world and the next?"

"Yes, it's true."

"I love you and I want to be a part of your world. I don't know if I'll pa.s.s their tests, but I want to go through with it. I want to belong to the Thunderbird clan. I want to be your wife, even though you haven't asked me yet." Sarah turned her head and smiled at Devlin.

"The ultimate honor a lover can bestow on a Chahta woman is to respect her with an offer of love and marriage. When you become Chahta, I'll ask you to marry me in the traditional clan way. You can bet on that." Devlin placed a gentle kiss on Sarah's lips.

"Come on." Sarah unexpectedly jumped to her feet and held her hands out. "Let's go tell Tima."

Devlin laughed at Sarah's enthusiasm. Devlin knew that once Sarah put her mind to something, there would be no stopping her. She rose and obediently followed her lover back to the village to find Tima.

Tima smiled when she gave permission for the two women to enter her chuka. She could tell by Sarah's demeanor that she no longer carried her burden alone.

"Nali, I hope you'll forgive my poor behavior before. I can offer no justification or explanation. The Chahta beliefs are so different from the ways of my people that I grew frightened at the thought of having no control over my own life. I've never been the kind of woman who has lived her life in fear, and I don't intend to start now. I'm not certain I'll pa.s.s your tests, I admit to letting my fears get the best of me sometimes, and I'm fully expecting to kill the first person crazy enough to let me heal them, but if you feel like I have what it takes, I'll give it a try."

Tima's smile grew larger and she nodded. "If you felt any differently, you would not have the gift."

"I need to admit something else." Sarah looked up at Devlin. "I was frightened by the feeling that you knew I no longer had my monthly cycle."

"Sarah..." Tima rarely used her birth name, but she felt that in this instance, she needed to hear it. "...you forget that I helped heal you a short while ago. A healing woman looks not only into her patient's body, but also into their soul. I saw into your chukash where you hold all your secrets. A patient cannot hide anything from their healer's eyes." Tima paused and watched Devlin, who only had eyes for the beautiful woman beside her.

"It is because a healer can see within a person that I wish to explain something to both of you. If you wish to become Chahta, Sakli, then I must extract a promise from you both."

"Sit," Tima said. Once Devlin and Sarah sat, Tima continued. "Tasa, you know that your grandfather has no sons, and you are the warrior of his heart."

"Omi," Devlin said.

"He will someday ask you to become Miko for our family. The clan respects you in heart, as well as strength. I see the men voting to make you chief Miko someday. If you accept the position, you know there will be things that cannot be discussed outside the Elders' Council, even with your mate."

"Yes, Nali, I understand that," Devlin said.

"Sakli, it will be the same with you. If you pa.s.s into the ways of the medicine woman, you will accept the position of clan mother. There will be visions given to you that you will have to bear alone. You may be commanded by the spirits to speak of these visions to no one." Tima looked from Devlin to Sarah. "You may become privy to the secrets of those you heal. Can each of you do this? Can you promise to obey the ways of the clan if these situations arise?"

"That will be hard, not being able to share with Dev," Sarah admitted.

"I agree." Devlin looked out of the corner of her eye and her serious expression disappeared. A small grin formed. "I bet you crack before I do."

"I bet ya I don't," Sarah said within half a heartbeat.

The two women laughed and joined hands. In that instant, the atmosphere within the chuka changed. Tima felt it even though the oblivious women did not.

"Children." Tima shook her head, her own laughter joining in. "Go, leave my chuka and make yourselves useful. I have two strong children at my iksita, yet I have no meat for a meal and my water jars are empty."

The sound of their laughter carried through the village, and it seemed to make the day lighter for the Thunderbird clan.

Sarah wrenched herself free of her dream. She pulled herself into a sitting position and Devlin moaned softly in her sleep as she felt the loss of Sarah's warm body. When Sarah's eyes adjusted to the dim light of the chuka, she slipped from the topa she shared with Devlin and fed small pieces of kindling into the fire set in the center of the lodging. Her gaze met Tima's, as the older woman watched her from across the chuka.

"Your dreams woke you," Tima whispered.

Sarah nodded, wondering why she always felt as if Tima could read her mind. She supposed it had more to do with the way Tima phrased her statements than any mind-reading capability.

"I have had dreams the last three days," Tima continued. "Do you dream of fire?"

"Yes," Sarah said. "Did you see it, too?"

Tima nodded and her eyes held a faraway expression. "I wish I knew the meaning. I only feel that it is of great import, that our very existence might depend on the outcome. I lack the training to understand my dreams completely. The spirits have been unwilling to reveal the truth to me."

"It's coming on winter, though, so it couldn't be gra.s.s fires. It's been a dry fall, but the snows this winter and the spring rains should remedy that. Let me ask you, Nali," Sarah whispered so as not to wake Devlin, "if I should complete this training successfully to become a medicine woman, will I know the meaning of my dreams then?"

"I believe so. You have to understand that I cannot remember a time when our clan had a medicine woman. I learned the healing ways and knowledge that my mother before me knew. So you see, I cannot say what you can expect exactly."

"Then how can you train me if you haven't been through the training yourself?" Sarah asked.

"The spirits will guide me. Besides, Keeho will teach you also. He knows many spiritual ways that I am not privy to. I believe our combined methods of instruction will be enough to set you on your path. The actual journey, however, will be up to you."

"Do you think Taano's prophecy has anything to do with our dreams of fire?"

"I believe they come too close together to be coincidence."

"I wish the spirits wouldn't be so cryptic with their visions." Sarah huffed in exasperation.

Tima chuckled. "You must show as much patience with them as they do with you. It has been many, many snows since the spirits walked in our reality. They tend to forget that we do not have the same understandings as they. When you begin the first moon of your training, you will go on a healing quest. During this time, when the spirits decide to accept you or not, you will receive visits from one of the thirteen clan mothers. These will be your holy guides, and they will intercede on your behalf with higher powers. If the clan mothers do not visit you, you have not been accepted as a worthy candidate for our clan."

"I see so many different scenes inside my dream," Sarah said, "and I feel that if I only had the power to piece them all together, they would tell a story."

"If you want, we will go before Kontonalah and the elders in the morning. If you pledge your desire to become Chahta, he will begin your acceptance into the clan. Acceptance is a simple ceremony where you learn the history of our people. Once that is complete, you may vow to give yourself up to be trained in the way of the medicine woman. When these steps are accomplished, you may join Keeho and the elders in prayer."

"Seems like a lot just to be included in their prayers," Sarah said sleepily.

"Sakli, no woman of our tribe has ever been a part of the elders' prayer and meditation circle. They have never allowed a woman to take part in the sacred prayer lodge in this way. The power of women can be a fearful thing to a man, but our clan is trusting in Keeho's word that you will use your power for the good of the clan."

"I hope I can live up to their expectations of me," Sarah whispered as she slipped under the fur robe beside Devlin.

"You will," Tima rea.s.sured.

The rest of the night pa.s.sed quickly for the three women sharing the chuka. A cold front had come through in the night. Sarah s.h.i.+vered slightly, now standing outside of Miko Kontonalah's chuka. Devlin went in first to go through the formalities involved in pleading Sarah's case.

The process entailed gaining the chief Miko's approval, but more importantly, the approval of Sarah's adoptive parent. Devlin had explained that before a newcomer could become a part of the tribe, the spirits had to speak to an existing member, who had to accept the calling from the spirits as an adoptive parent to the initiate. If no one within the clan felt compelled to come forward, the elders would deny the request.

Devlin peeked out of the chuka that belonged to Kontonalah and motioned for Sarah to enter. She gave Sarah a smile and formally introduced her to the elders and Miko Kontonalah, even though the clan knew her. The Miko directed Sarah to sit before the semicircle of men. Devlin sat beside her.