Child 44 Part 9

Stepan nodded, looking at Anna. After a moment he added: -But I can't give you that advice. And I'm not sure you believed I would give you that advice. How can I? The truth is I want my wife to live. I want my son to live. And I want to live. I would do whatever it takes to ensure that. As I understand the situation, it is one life for three. I'm sorry. I know that you expected more of me. But we're old, Leo. We wouldn't survive the Gulags. We'd be separated. We'd die alone.

-And if you were young what your advice be then?

Stepan nodded.

-You're right. My advice would be the same. But don't be angry with me. What did you expect when you came here? Did you expect us to say, fine, we don't mind dying? And what purpose would our deaths serve? Would your wife be saved? Would you live happily together? If that had been the case I would gladly have given up my life for the two of you. But that isn't what would happen. All that would happen is that we'd dieall of us, all four of usbut you'd die knowing that you'd done the right thing.

Leo looked at his mother. Her face was as pale as the lank cabbage leaves she held in her hand. She was quite calm. She didn't contradict Stepan, asking instead: -When do you have to decide?

-I have two days to gather evidence. Then I must report back.

His parents continued with the preparation of dinner, wrapping mince in the cabbage leaves, laying them side by side in a baking tray like a row of thick, dismembered thumbs. No one spoke until the tray was full. Stepan asked: -You'll eat with us?

Following his mother into the living room, Leo saw that there were already three place settings.

-You're expecting a guest?

-We're expecting Raisa.

-My wife?

-She's coming for dinner. When you knocked on the door we thought you were her.

Anna laid a fourth plate on the table, explaining.

-She comes almost every week. She didn't want you to know how lonely she finds it, eating with only the radio for company. We've become very fond of her.

It was true that Leo was never home from work at seven. A culture of long working days had been fostered by Stalin, an insomniac, who would take no more than four hours of sleep a night. Leo had heard that no one in the Politburo was permitted to leave until the lights of Stalin's study were turned off, normally some time past midnight. Though this rule didn't apply exactly to the Lubyanka, similar levels of dedication were expected. Few officers worked anything less than ten-hour days, even if several of those hours were spent doing nothing at all.

There was a knock. Stepan opened the door, allowing Raisa into the hallway. She was as surprised as his parents to see Leo. Stepan explained: -He was working nearby. For once we can eat together as a family.

She undid her jacket, which Stepan took from her. She stepped forward, close to Leo, looking him up and down.

-Whose clothes are these?

Leo glanced at the trousers, the s.h.i.+rtthese dead men's clothes.

-I borrowed themfrom work.

Raisa leaned closer, whispering in Leo's ear.

-The s.h.i.+rt smells.

Leo moved towards the bathroom. At the door, he glanced back, watching as Raisa helped his parents with the table.

Leo had grown up without running hot water. His parents had shared their old apartment with his father's uncle and his family. There had been only two bedrooms, one bedroom for each family. The apartment had no inside toilet or bathroom, the occupants of the building had to use outdoor facilities which were without hot water. In the morning the queues were long and in the winter, snow would fall on them while they waited. A private sink full of hot water would've been an impossible luxury, a dream. Leo stripped off the s.h.i.+rt, was.h.i.+ng himself. Finished, he opened the door, asking his father if he could borrow a s.h.i.+rt. Though his father's body was work-wornstooped and shaped by the a.s.sembly line as surely as the tank sh.e.l.ls that had been shaped by himhe was of a roughly similar frame to his son, a strong build with broad, muscular shoulders. The s.h.i.+rt was a close enough fit.

Changed, Leo sat down to eat. While the golubsty golubsty finished baking in the oven, they had finished baking in the oven, they had zakuski zakuski, plates of pickles, mushroom salad and for each of them, a thin slice of veal tongue cooked with marjoram, left to cool in gelatine and served with horseradish. It was an exceptionally generous spread. Leo couldn't help but stare at it, calculating the cost of each dish. Whose death had paid for that marjoram? Had that slice of tongue been bought with Anatoly Brodsky's life? Feeling sick, he remarked: -I can see why you come here every week.

Raisa smiled.

-Yes. They spoil me. I tell them kasha kasha would be fine but- would be fine but- Stepan interjected: -It's an excuse to spoil ourselves.

Trying to sound casual, Leo asked his wife: -You come here straight after work?

-That's right.

That was a lie. She'd gone somewhere with Ivan first. But before Leo could consider it further, Raisa corrected herself.

-That's not true. Normally I come here straight after work. But tonight I had an appointment, which is why I'm a little late.

-An appointment?

-With the doctor.

Raisa began to smile.

-I'd meant to tell you when we were on our own but since it has come up...

-Tell me what?

Anna stood up.

-Would you like us to leave?

Leo gestured for his mother to be seated.

-Please. We're family. No secrets.

-I'm pregnant.

20 February Leo couldn't sleep. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to the slow breathing of his wife, her back pressed against his side not out of any deliberate expression of intimacy but through chance movements. She was an unsettled sleeper. Was that enough reason to denounce her? He knew it was. He knew how it could be written up:

Unable to rest easy, troubled by her dreams: my wife is clearly tormented by some secret.

He could pa.s.s responsibility for the investigation to another person. He could kid himself that he was deferring judgement. He was too close, too involved. But any such investigation would only come to one conclusion. The case had been opened. No one else would position against a presumption of guilt.

Leo got out of bed and stood by the living-room window, which had a view not of the city but of the apartment block opposite. A wall of windows with only three lights on, three out of a thousand or so, and he wondered what worries were troubling the occupants, what was keeping them from sleeping. He felt an odd kind of companions.h.i.+p with those three squares of pale yellow light. It was four in the morning, arresting hourthe best time to seize a person, to grab them from their sleep. They were vulnerable, disorientated. Unguarded comments made as officers swarmed into their homes were often used against suspects in their interrogations. It was not easy to be prudent when your wife was being dragged across the floor by her hair. How many times had Leo smashed a door open with the sole of his boot? How many times had he watched as a married couple were pulled from their bed, flashlights shone in their eyes and up their nightclothes? How many times had he heard the sound of an officer laughing at the sight of someone's genitals? How many people had he pulled from their beds? How many apartments had he torn apart? And what of the children he'd held back as the parents were taken away? He couldn't remember. He'd blocked it out: the names, the faces. An indistinct memory served him well. Had he cultivated it? Had he taken amphetamines not to work longer hours but to erode the memories of that work?

There was a joke, popular among officers, who could tell it with impunity. A man and his wife were asleep in bed when they were woken by a sharp knock on the door. Fearing the worst they got up, kissed each other goodbye.

I love you, wife.

I love you, husband.

Having said their goodbyes they opened the front door. Standing before them was a frantic neighbour, a corridor full of smoke and flames as high as the ceiling. The man and his wife smiled with relief and thanked G.o.d: it was just the building on fire. Leo had heard variations on this joke. Instead of a fire there were armed bandits, instead of armed bandits there was a doctor with terrible news. In the past he'd laughed, confident that it would never happen to him.

His wife was pregnant. Did that fact change anything? It might change the att.i.tude of his superiors to Raisa. They'd never liked her. She'd never given Leo any children. In these times it was expected, demanded that couples have children. After the millions who'd died fighting children were a social obligation. Why had Raisa not become pregnant? The question had dogged their marriage. The only conclusion was that there was something wrong with her. The pressure had been cranked up recently: questions asked with greater frequency. Raisa was seeing a doctor regularly in order to address the issue. Their s.e.xual relations were pragmatic, motivated by external pressures. The irony didn't escape Leo that just as his superiors got what they wantedRaisa pregnantthey wanted her dead. Perhaps he could mention that she was pregnant? He dismissed the idea. A traitor was traitor, there were no exonerating circ.u.mstances.

Leo showered. The water was cold. He got changed and made a breakfast of oatmeal. He had no desire to eat and watched it harden in the bowl. Raisa entered the kitchen, sat down, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. He got up. Neither of them spoke as he waited for the oatmeal to warm up. He put a bowl before her. She said nothing. He made a gla.s.s of weak tea, placed it on the table alongside the jar of jam.

-I'll try to be home a little earlier.

-You don't have to change your routine for me.

-I'll try anyway.

-Leo, you don't have to change your routine for me.

Leo shut the front door. It was dawn. From the edge of the walkway he could see people waiting for the tramcar hundreds of metres down below. He made his way to the elevator. Once it had arrived he pressed the b.u.t.ton for the top floor. On the thirtieth floor, the top floor, he stepped out and walked down the pa.s.sage way to the service door at the end marked NO ENTRY NO ENTRY. The lock had been smashed a long time ago. It led to a flight of stairs that in turn led to the roof. He'd been here before, when they'd first moved in. Facing west you could see the city. Facing east you could see the edge of the countryside where Moscow broke apart and gave way to snow-covered fields. Four years ago, admiring this view, he'd thought himself one of the luckiest men alive. He was a herohe had the newspaper clipping to prove it. He had a powerful job, a beautiful wife. His faith in the State had been unquestioning. Did he miss that feelingcomplete, unswerving confidence? Yes, he did.

He took the elevator down to the fourteenth floor, returning to his apartment. Raisa had gone to work. Her breakfast bowl sat unwashed in the kitchen. He took off his jacket and boots, warmed his hands, ready to begin his search.

Leo had organized and overseen the searches of many houses, apartments and offices. They were treated compet.i.tively by those who worked in the MGB. Stories were swapped about the extraordinary thoroughness which officers demonstrated in order to prove their dedication. Precious objects were smashed, portraits and works of art cut from the frames, books ripped apart, entire walls knocked down. Even though this was his home and these were his things Leo proposed to treat the search no differently. He ripped off the bed linen, pillowcases and sheets, turning the mattress upside down and feeling it carefully, every square inch, like a blind man reading Braille. Paper doc.u.ments could be st.i.tched into a mattress becoming invisible to the eye. The only way to locate these secret stashes was by touch. Finding nothing, he moved to the shelves. He went through every book checking if anything had been placed inside them. He found one hundred roubles, just under a week's wages. He looked at the money wondering what it could mean until remembering that the book belonged to him and this money was his own, a secret stash. Another agent might have declared it proof that the owner was a speculator. Leo put the money back. He opened the drawers, looking down at Raisa's neatly folded clothes. He picked up each garment, feeling and shaking it before dropping it in a heap on the floor. When all the drawers were emptied he checked the backs and sides. Finding nothing, he turned, studying the room. He pressed himself against the walls, running his fingers along them to see if there was the outline of a safe or a hollow. He took down the framed newspaper clipping, the photo of himself beside the burning panzer tank. It was peculiar to think of that moment, surrounded by death, as happier times. He took the frame apart. The slip of newspaper floated to the floor. Putting the clipping and the frame back together, he turned the bed on its side, leaning it against the wall. He got onto his knees. The floorboards were securely screwed down. He retrieved a screwdriver from the kitchen and took up every floorboard. Underneath there was nothing but dust and pipes.

He went into the kitchen, washed the dirt off his hands. There was, at last, warm water. He spent a leisurely amount of time lathering the small bar of soap: scrubbing his skin even after all the dirt had gone. What was he trying to wash off his hands? The betrayal, nohe had no interest in metaphors. He was was.h.i.+ng his hands because they were dirty. He was searching his apartment because it had to be done. He mustn't over-think.

There was a knock on the front door. He rinsed his hands, which were covered from wrist to elbow in cream-coloured soap-spuds. There was a second knock. With water dripping from his arms he moved into the hallway, calling out: -Who is it?

-It's Vasili.

Leo closed his eyes, feeling his heart rate quicken and trying to control the surge of anger. Vasili knocked again. Leo stepped forward, opened the door. Vasili was accompanied by two men. The first was a young officer Leo didn't recognize. He had soft features and paper-pale skin. He stared at Leo with expressionless eyes, like two gla.s.s marbles pushed into a ball of dough. The second officer was Fyodor Andreev. Vasili had selected these men carefully. The man with the pale skin was his protection, no doubt strong, a good shot or quick with a knife. He'd brought Fyodor along for spite.

-What is it?

-We're here to help. Major Kuzmin sent us.

-Thank you, but I have the investigation under control.

-I'm sure you do. We're here to a.s.sist.

-Thank you, but that's not necessary.

-Come on, Leo. We've travelled a long way. And it's cold out here.

Leo stepped aside, letting them in.

None of the three men took off their boots, which were encrusted with ice, chunks of which dropped from their soles, melting into the carpet. Leo shut the door, aware that Vasili was here to bait him. He wanted Leo to lose his temper. He wanted an argument, an ill-considered comment, anything to strengthen his case.

Leo offered his guests tea or vodka if they preferred. Vasili's love drink was well known, but it was considered the most minor of vices if a vice at all. He dismissed Leo's offer with a shake of his head and glanced into the bedroom.

-What have you found?

Without waiting for a reply Vasili entered the room, staring at the upturned mattress.

-You've not even cut it open.

He leant down, drawing his knife, ready to slice open the mattress. Leo caught hold of his hand.

-There's a way to feel for items st.i.tched into the material. You don't have to cut it.

-So you're going to put the place back together again?

-That's right.

-You still think your wife is innocent?

-I've found nothing to suggest otherwise.

-May I give you some advice? Find another wife. Raisa is beautiful. But there are many beautiful women. Maybe you'd be better off with one who wasn't quite so beautiful.

Vasili reached into his pocket, pulling out a set of folded photographs. He offered them to Leo. They were photographs taken of Raisa outside the school with Ivan, the literature teacher.

-She's f.u.c.king him, Leo. She's a traitor to you and the State.

-These were taken at the school. They're both teachers. Of course it's possible to take photographs of them together. It proves nothing.

-Do you know his name?

-Ivan, I think.

-We've had an eye on him for some time.

-We have our eye on lots of people.

-Perhaps you're a friend of his also?

-I've never met him. I've never spoken to him.

Seeing the heap of clothes on the floor, Vasili bent down and picked up a pair of Raisa's underpants. He rubbed them between his fingers, crumpling them into a ball, placing them under his nose and never taking his eyes off Leo. Instead of feeling anger at this provocation Leo contemplated his deputy in a way that he'd never bothered to before. Who exactly was this man who hated him so much? Was he motivated by professional jealousy or by raw ambition? Watching him now, sniffing Raisa's clothes, Leo realized there was something personal about this hatred.

-May I take a look around the rest of your apartment?