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The domestic scene would have bored him a few years ago, but lately he couldn't think of anything but being closer to Ann.
"h.e.l.lo? Earth to Jack?"
He hid a grin behind his coffee cup. "Yeah, I'm settling in at the college. How about you? Any more Grand Canyons to deal with?"
She laughed. "Not yet. Though I did interrupt a glue fight and had to send Mike and Toby to the princ.i.p.al. Those two have gotten pretty bad."
After talking and walking some more, they fell into a nice, peaceful quiet. Birds still chirped, and the occasional bat swooped overhead, looking for insects to eat between the tall pines that surrounded them.
The neighborhood suited her. Him too.
"I was thinking," Ann said quietly.
"Oh?" He wondered if she'd want to keep her house. Maybe they could move in together somewhere bigger? Though he planned on renting something small first, like the cottage he'd been inquiring about around the corner from her place, investing in property while in a buyer's market made sense.
"We're moving too fast."
Something with a garden, because she liked to-"What?"
"It's just... We're spending all our time together, having a lot of s.e.x," she said in a lower voice, "and I'm afraid this is all too soon."
"What's too soon? The fact we like being together?" f.u.c.k. He'd pushed too hard. But they had a good thing going. Was he wrong to want more?
"No. But being boyfriend and girlfriend... I just don't know that I'm ready to commit to that. You've only been back two weeks. "
"I know. But, Ann, we've known each other forever. Being back with you feels like I never left."
"But you did leave." She gave him a hard glare. "There's a lot of life that went on between then and now. I don't think it's wrong for me to want to take some time to think about it."
Though hurt and annoyed, he forced himself to be cool. "I thought we liked hanging out together. Or was that just me?"
She blew out a breath. "No. I like being with you. But I'm used to being on my own or having girl time with Riley and Maya. Now there's you, and-"
"And what? We're having s.e.x and it's amazing. There's a problem with that?"
She turned beet red. "Would you please keep your voice down?"
"Sorry." He wanted to punch something. "Is it the s.e.x? Too kinky?" Had he misread the signals? Had he confused his pleasure for hers? At the thought, he felt sick.
"Would you shush?" She slapped a hand over his mouth and tugged him with her out of the path of an oncoming couple and their kids. "No. The s.e.x is fine. Amazing. o.r.g.a.s.mic. Every time." She frowned. "But that's not normal. I mean, sure, it had been a while for me before you. But even then I never came every time." She huffed. "That's not the point."
Relieved he hadn't screwed that up at least, he tried to hear her out. "So what, then?"
She looked around, then up at him. "I...we..."
He had a feeling he knew what she wanted to say. They'd never talked about the past. He'd been hoping not to bring that up until she was so in l.u.s.t and in love with him she wouldn't care what he said. Thinking about his inadequacies and her betrayal hurt all over again.
"f.u.c.k, Ann. Just say it."
She scowled. "It's too soon. You just blew back into town. For all I know you could be playing me."
"Are you serious?" He gaped. "Playing you? For what? Why?"
She bit her lower lip and looked away. "You're a guy aren't you? That's what guys do."
She couldn't mean him and high school. She'd started that. Had someone hurt her since then? She was right. He didn't know her as well as he might wish. "Ann, I'd never do that. I am what you see. I know it's been years, but I'm here now, and I plan to stay." Go slow, dumb a.s.s. Don't scare her off. Take your time. "Look, I'm sorry if I pushed, okay? I feel like I know you since we had something deep between us before, but you're right. That was a long time ago. We're lovers now, and I don't want that to end. We'll take it slow, however slow you want. Okay?"
She didn't look as happy as he'd thought she might. "Okay." She pasted a smile on her face. "Thanks. I appreciate you hearing me out."
"I'll always listen. One thing I've been told I do well."
"That's not the only thing." She sighed. "You really worked me hard this weekend."
He had to chuckle at her woebegone tone. "But it was worth it, wasn't it?"
She glanced up at him and gave a true smile. "Yeah."
Ann finished the walk with him feeling better about things. Getting that pressing relations.h.i.+p off her back had made a world of difference. She didn't feel so guilty about liking the new him and still loathing the old Jack. Some meaningless s.e.x didn't commit his feelings or hers.
But back at home and in bed, she had to raise the bulls.h.i.+t flag. No matter how she prettied it up or tried to pretend one of them wouldn't be hurt at the end of it all, she knew she'd have a hard time separating herself from Jack when it ended.
He'd burrowed himself under her skin, despite how hard she'd tried not to let him. Those dimples, his big blue eyes, his easy charm.
Why couldn't he have been a complete a.s.s while shopping? Or after she'd slowed things down tonight? He could have had a mantrum, as Maya liked to call them. Getting all p.i.s.sy and demanding rights because he'd given her a few o.r.g.a.s.ms.
o.r.g.a.s.m-a bland word for the incredible joy and selflessness he'd demonstrated while giving her pleasure.
She s.h.i.+vered just thinking about how he used his mouth, his hands, his amazing tongue...
Too exhausted to do more than fall into a restless night dreaming about him, she woke the next morning and knew it would be a long day.
It was.
Andrew and Jane picked fights with the other kids. Her headache brewed, and the teacher's lounge had run out of her favorite creamer, forcing her to drink her coffee black. Totally gross. Then she'd returned to a super clean house, reminding her of how sweet and funny Jack had been with his cleanliness issues. Such a nice guy on the one hand, and a kinky lover on the other. She found it difficult to reconcile him with the boy who'd treated her so shabbily long ago. Because he'd started out like this nice Jack, the loving, kind-hearted soul who put her needs first and treated her like gold.
And then he'd disappeared, replaced by an a.s.shole who'd broken her heart. Was that a.s.shole still lurking down there somewhere?
She'd grown up a lot since then, but she'd never been able to understand why he'd dumped her like that. The time had come to talk to him about it, yet she was loath to break their fragile peace. Especially after last night's talk.
The school day ended, and she went home with a heavy heart. Happy, sad, and every conflicted feeling in between. Jack called and, as usual, her heart raced.
She answered her cell and fell into her couch, letting it swallow her up. "h.e.l.lo?" She sighed.
"Bad day?" he asked.
"That obvious?"
"I know your sighs, and that one usually involves a headache, a problem or someone stealing your chocolate."
She smiled despite herself. "Perceptive."
"Tell me all about it."
I think I might be falling for you, and I'm afraid. "I ran out of creamer. My kids were monsters. And- Hold on, another call." She didn't recognize the number, but it was a local area code.
"Sure."
She put him on hold and answered the other line. "h.e.l.lo?"
"Oh, is this Ann Weaver?"
The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. "Yes."
"Hi, Ann. This is Laura Bloom, Josh's grandmother. Jack's mom."
"Oh yes, Mrs. Bloom. Hi, how are you?" I have your son on the other line. And by the way, I can't stop thinking about him going down on me, she thought with a touch of hysteria, as if those words might actually pop out.
"Call me Laura, honey. I was calling to invite you to my daughter-in-law's surprise party. She's pregnant, and we're so excited to be adding another one to the family."
"Congratulations." She paused. "But, Laura, I don't know Julie or Dan that well outside of school and Josh."
"I know, but since you're so close to Jack, I thought it might be nice if all us girls had some time to ourselves."
She swallowed a groan. "Th-that would be lovely. But my schedule is kind of full, especially with the school Halloween party, and I-"
"A lot of folks are busy this time of year. So I took that into account. The party isn't until next month. On a Sat.u.r.day. I'll shoot you an invitation with the exact time and date. It would mean so much to Julie if you could be there."
How to say no to that?
"Um, sure. Okay. Thanks for inviting me."
"Wonderful!" Laura chatted a moment more, then hung up.
Ann realized she'd left Jack on hold. She hurried to catch the call. "Sorry. Are you there?"
"Fell asleep waiting, but yeah."
She groaned. "That was your mother." A perfect end to her less-than-stellar day.
"What?"
"She just invited me to Julie's surprise party."
"Oh. Are you going?"
"Yes. She guilted me into it."
She didn't get any sympathy from Jack. "Ha. She did the same to me. She's a real piece of work, all right," he teased. "Look, don't worry about it. I can make some excuse to get you out of going."
Ann felt worse, because he was being so nice. What had Julie done to deserve her indifference, anyway? Nothing. Ann loved Josh, so why not be supportive? "No, no. I want to go."
"You do?"
"It'll be fun. As long as your mother doesn't grill me about you."
"I'll make sure she doesn't. And I'll be there, so I can protect you, my small, feeble lady."
"Ha ha. Very funny."
"I thought so." She sensed him grin through the phone. "Anyway, I called to say hi, and to invite you to dinner with Dan, Julie and my folks on Thursday."
"Good timing."
"In light of Mom's invite, I'd say so. You should come. My brother was a pain growing up, but he turned into an okay guy."
She knew how close the family was. It was something she envied.
"And, Ann, no pressure on you to be anything but yourself with me and them," he said quietly. "No girlfriend bulls.h.i.+t, I promise. Just fun between friends, who happen to be lovers."
Why, why, WHY can't you be an a.s.shole? "Sure. It'll be fun."
"Great. Talk to you later. I have to go. Anson and I are hitting the gym."
"Sounds like a great time-not."
He laughed and hung up.
She sat there, staring at her cell phone, wondering why she couldn't stop herself from growing closer to the man she knew she should be running far, far away from.
Chapter Thirteen.
Ann sighed. h.e.l.lo hump day. Another school day ended as the bell rang. She still hadn't resolved her feelings on committing to exclusively dating Jack yet, which bothered the heck out of her because she had a bad feeling she'd fallen in love with him all over again. In retrospect, their weekend together had been beyond magical. Even their argument Monday night had ended in her favor, and he'd given her s.p.a.ce last night.
As a result, she both looked forward to and dreaded Thursday night dinner. She wanted to be with Jack again, to see him smile with his family. But would they consider her and Jack a couple? And would that push Jack to pressure her to commit again?
She still didn't think she was ready for that.
"Hey, Ann." Trey Atwood popped into her cla.s.sroom after a brief knock. "We still on for tonight?"
She blanked. "Tonight?"