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"It does? It makes you feel?" Lucas said. He looked fl.u.s.tered, like he didn't know what to say or do.
"I don't know why." Kaitlyn kicked at the ground and looked off at the tree line. The sun was beginning to set. The sky was a beautiful shade of violet swirled through with pink. It was amazing that such beauty existed and then there was such ugliness in the world. Such as herselfa"not human, but not fully robot.
Lucas studied her face. "Kaitlyn, do you feel more than you let on?"
She s.h.i.+fted her feet and shrugged, discomfited by his gaze. "I don't know what I feela"if anythinga"most of the time."
"I can relate to that."
"You couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through," Kaitlyn said through gritted teeth and took a step backwards. Her vehemence surprised her; that reaction had come from somewhere deep inside.
"You're right." Lucas held up his hands. "That was insensitive and unfair. To answer your original question: You are hands down the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on."
He thought she was beautiful? Kaitlyn frowned and shook her head. "You don't have to say that. I know I'm a freak."
A hurt look crossed his face. "Kate, you're not a freak. You're incredible. There is not a woman out there that could compare to you." His troubled eyes met hers. "I'm sorry we did this to you."
"You're sorry?" What did he have to be sorry about? It wasn't like it was his idea. He just worked there. If anyone was to blame, it was Harrington for coming up with the crazy notion of merging humans with machines.
"You should have had a chance to live your life without our interference." Lucas laughed, but it wasn't in humor. Kaitlyn's sensors supplied a definition for *irony.' "Kate, you're amazing. You are beautiful, and the person you werea We took that from you."
"Lucas, look at me!" Kaitlyn said, lifting the hem of her s.h.i.+rt to her bra line. "I have so many chips implanted in me that I don't know where I start and where the machine begins. Scars cover my body, and not to mention this." Kaitlyn pointed at the translucent part of her arm. The patches of see-through plastic were spread over various parts of her body. "How could you possibly think I'm beautiful? I'm repulsivea"a freak of nature."
A strange sensation on her face gave her pause. She reached up and touched her cheek, then drew wet fingertips away.
Whatawas that a tear?
Her artificial heart pounded in her ears as she stared at her hand, captivated. After all the time she had spent at the facility, all she had been through, she'd never cried. She didn't think she could.
Across from her, Lucas stared. "Oh my G.o.d. Kate."
She didn't know what to say, so she just lifted her hand and murmured, "I'macrying."
Lucas grabbed her hand, the wetness of her tears smeared on her skin as he closed the s.p.a.ce between them. He pressed his forehead to hers. Her mind screamed at her to run, but her body was rooted in place. She was so confused by the way he made her feel. His closeness was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
"Kate, I'm so sorry. I didn't know." His thumb gently rubbed another tear away, making her s.h.i.+ver.
"Didn't know what?" She sniffled, and then berated herself for showing weakness. Now that he knew her secreta "That you could feel."
"Why does it matter? Are you going to bring me back to the lab and erase what is left of me?"
"No, Kate. We've done all the programming we know how as far as emotions go. In truth, it's amazing. Goes to show how incredible the human mind is."
"It's only you that makes me feel things. Well, I guess Quess too. I like her."
Lucas stared at her for a moment. "No one else?"
She shook her head and looked away.
"Do you feel the same for me as you do for Quess?"
"Definitely not. I like Quess as a friend."
"And me?"
"You make my body feel like it's revving up when I am standing still. I don't know how to describe it. I wake up looking forward to seeing you and I go to bed thinking of you." Kate quietly.
Lucas took a step forward, and he leaned down and pressed his lips gently to hers.
Kaitlyn froze, unsure how to react. She had pictured this many times, but now that it was happening her body felt like it was going into overdrive. His firm lips pressed harder to hers, and she parted her own. She wanted to taste him. She wanted to crawl into his body and never leave. Just one kiss, and she felt like the world had dropped from beneath her.
She could feel his heart beating in his chest. Heart rate: one hundred and twenty. Much too high for a non-physical activity.
Kaitlyn pulled away, his mint and cinnamon taste on her lips. "Lucas, are you sick? Your heart rate is so high."
He smiled faintly. "That's what you do to me."
Alarmed, Kaitlyn touched his chest. "I did this to you?"
"It's okay, Kate." Lucas pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. The touch of his hand made her tremble inside. "You drive me crazy. Being this close to you. I can't explain it. I've dreamed about this moment. No one has ever had this effect on me. Ever."
Kaitlyn stiffened at the word *dreamed.' The blond haired guy flashed in her mind. Who was he? Who cares? All she wanted was Lucas.
Her body melted to his. The warmth of his skin against hers was almost too much to bear. Could he really want her the way she wanted him? Her hands ached to explore every part of his body. She wanted to know him from the inside out.
His mouth made its way down her neck, causing her to go into sensory overload. She couldn't concentrate or think; all she could do was feel. It was amazing. He calmed all the random thoughts, the a.n.a.lysis, definitions and patterns that intruded on her thoughts. There was no a.n.a.lyzing, no patterns, and no past; there was only now.
"Lucas." His name escaped from her lips on a gasp.
He made his way back up, and his lips met hers. His kiss was filled with urgency, and she felt like she was going to spin out of control. Her breath caught in her throat. How could a kiss take her breath away? The effect he had on her wasn't rational, but she gave in to it anyway. He made her feel alive.
When he pulled away, his eyes searched hers. "What are we going to do?" Lucas asked.
Instantly, her mind ran through the scenarios. None of them looked positive. She shook her head, unable to answer. She wasn't even sure what he meant. Was he talking about the kiss, her feelings or her leaving soon?
"We'll figure something out." His words sounded hollow. They both knew nothing good would come out of the situation.
She was too vital to Harrington for him to let her go.
Chapter Eleven.
The dorm room door closed softly behind her, locking automatically. It took so much self-control to stop the grin from spreading across her face.
She didn't know it was possible to feel this alive. This happy. Lucas was responsible for the emotions; she knew that with absolute certainty. If she had known it would be like this she would have told him long ago how she felt about him.
But soon she would leave. The thought hit her hard. Panic rose within her, but it was quickly overridden by her sensors that sent signals to her microprocessor. The familiar hum washed over her body, steadying her. It was strangea"when there was distance between them, her body could manage the reaction, but when he was near, she seemed to lose control.
Before she made it to her bed, there was a knock at her door. She froze. Had he come back for her? No, it was Quess.
Kaitlyn smoothed down her dress and turned to face the doorway. "Come in."
When the door opened, Quess hurried inside, her face lit with excitement. "I came by earlier and you weren't here. Where were you?"
"I took a walk with Lucas."
"You what? Are you serious?" Quess sputtered, her jaw falling open. "How did that happen?"
Kaitlyn kept her face impa.s.sive, even though she wanted to tell Quess everything. The thought of smas.h.i.+ng the camera crossed her mind, but she pushed it aside. Instead, Kaitlyn motioned to the camera with her eyes. "He needed to ask me some questions to make sure my programming was working correctly."
Quess looked up at the flas.h.i.+ng dot, and then back at Kaitlyn. "Well, now you need to go for a walk with mea"now. My grandfather sent me." She spoke a little too loudly, as if for the benefit of the cameras.
"Okay." Kaitlyn walked towards the door, exchanging a look with her friend as she pa.s.sed.
They made their way down the long corridor as cla.s.sical music streamed from the speakers above them. There were two women standing in front of the exit.
"Hey." Quess waved and smiled. One of the women gave a strained smile and the other avoided looking at them. As if the top of her shoes were more interesting. Seemed to be the normal reaction of most of the staff when they saw Kaitlyn.
They moved aside to allow them to pa.s.s. Quess pushed open the door and the stepped into shadows. Darkness was starting to fall. A misty yellow glare from the security lights illuminated the grounds as they flicked on in the twilight.
Quess walked as fast as her legs would take her towards their safe zone, the place where Kaitlyn had taken Lucas. Kaitlyn wondered what had her friend so excited. Usually it was a new dress she wanted to tell her about, or that her Nanny had made special cookies. Everything seemed to make the girl excited.
When they finally reached the birch tree, Quess squealed, "I was right a" he was on Facebook. I found him."
"You did?" Kaitlyn asked, surprised. "Are you sure it's him?"
"Yes, I'm sure. His name is Evan. He's twenty-one, has a labrador retriever named Spike, two younger sistersa"you know the typea"cheerleaders, and his parents divorced when he was twelve. He's very hot, like on fire."
Kaitlyn's mind whirled as she grasped what Quess was saying. She wasn't quite sure what to make of this news. On the one hand, she was curious, but on the other hand, there was Lucas. He was her reality now.
"That's impressive, Quess. How do you know all of this?"
"I told you. Facebook. It's like a peek into someone's private world."
"Buta On fire? Twenty-one?" Kaitlyn asked, her mind sorting through the information.
Quess smiled sheepishly. "He's not really on firea"as in flames. He's s.e.xy. That's what I mean."
"Oh."
"That's not alla"
"Well, then tell me the rest."
"There are tons of pictures of you on there."
Kaitlyn froze. "Me?"
"You looked so happy." Quess said thoughtfully. "Although, I have to say your taste in clothinga"not so great."
Kaitlyn suddenly felt lightheaded. The woods began to spin in her vision. Was her processor shorting?
She heard a m.u.f.fled, "Kaitlyn, are you alright?"
Next thing she knew, there was only darkness.
Someone was shaking her.
"Kaitlyn. Please wake up." Quess's voice was panicked.
Kaitlyn's eyes fluttered open, and she squinted. Why was she on the ground? Her head felt heavier than usual as she glanced around, her eyes quickly adjusting.
"I'm okay." Kaitlyn pushed herself to a sitting position, using a nearby tree to lean against. She was lucky she didn't fall into it when she pa.s.sed out.
"What happened?" Quess asked, her eyes concerned.
"I don't know."
"We should take you to see my grandfather."
"No. I'm fine." Then it came back to her what they were talking about when she pa.s.sed outaor when her body shut down. She wasn't sure if there was a difference. "Please, don't tell him."
Quess nodded. "Whatever you want."
Kaitlyn accessed her memory files and sorted through her thoughts from their previous conversation. "I believe you mentioning details about my past caused me to shut down. That must be it."
"Like a safety measure or something?" Quess sat on the gra.s.s and pulled her knees to her chest.
"I just need a moment." Kaitlyn closed her eyes and waited until she felt normal again. Her rhythms settled into familiar patterns. The mechanisms in place had been successful. Whatever happened had pa.s.sed. Was it possible the IFICS had somehow connected her real memories to some kind of fail-safe blocking system? "I'm fine now. Tell me what else you saw." She paused. "But don't use their names. Just in case that was the trigger for my shut down."
Quess nodded in understanding. The girl had a quick mind. She paused as if trying to compose her words carefully before she spoke them.
"There was this girl who pa.s.sed away, and everyone she went to school with was devastated, but mostly her boyfriend. He started a memorial page in her honor. He posted pictures of them together all over it, and her friends did, too. To this day, they even comment and tell her happy birthday. Like a shrine. Her boyfriend wasn't able to move on without her. It was sweet, but also a bit strange."
"Where was she from?"
"Near the ocean."
Kaitlyn wanted to ask so many questions, but was afraid it would make her black out again.
"Kaitlyn!" a voice in the distance yelled.