Music And Lyrics: Soul-O Part 18

Mom says, "Oh hush, these are great stories."

I smile and say, "Just giving you a hard time Ma. I love these stories, you know that."

Mom says, "I've got the perfect one to tell. The Hulk Hogan doll one."

Brent says, "Not a doll Ma, it was an action figure, and the coolest one ever." Everybody tries to suppress their laughter but are not doing a great job at it.

Mom says, "Brent was about eleven years old and Tan was I guess six. Hulk Hogan was the biggest thing out and Brent was like his number one fan. For Christmas that year, Bo and I got him this Hulk Hogan doll, oh, action figure, sorry Brent. This action figure had all the bells and whistles and he loved it so much, he slept with it. Brent would constantly have Tanner in some crazy wrestling choke hold and one day he just pushed his little brother too far. Tanner comes stomping into the kitchen with tears streaming down his cute little red cheeks and there's a bright red choke mark on his throat. He tells me between crying breaths that Brent had choked him and called him a girl. Brent comes into the kitchen, practically skipping and sings, 'Tanner is a girl, Tanner is a girl' I thought he was going to turn green, like the real Hulk, he was so mad. Tanner runs as fast as he can into Brent's room, grabs his most prized possession, and runs outside with it. Before Brent knew what was going on, Tanner had already fired up the John Deere and had that action figure lying in the path. When Brent ran outside, Tanner rode that small tractor directly over poor Hulk. Hulk didn't stand a chance, he split into many pieces. What Tanner didn't think through was how he'd get away from his big brother after that. I ran out and had to practically hose Brent off him. They hated each other for about three days and then everything was okay again."

I laugh and say, "Ma, you made me use my Christmas money to buy him a new one."

Brent says, "Rightfully so, geez. Tucker has that Hulk in his room, still plays with it. When y'all have a son, it'll go to him."

Lyrics says sarcastically, "The family heirloom, Hulk Hogan." We all laugh.

Sophia says, "Speaking of babies."

I quickly say, "We're practicing a lot."

Lyrics punches my arm and Dad says, "Practice makes perfect."

I smile and say, "Actually, we are gonna start shooting for bullseye after the wedding." The buzzer for the gate goes off. I jump up and say, "Oh s.h.i.+t, I forgot about Chauncy." I push the b.u.t.ton to open the gate and then head out to the driveway.

Being the dramatic person she is, she gets out of the car and grabs my face and says, "Oh honey, I wish you'd told me everything that happened. I had to hear it from Chip. Are you okay? I heard that skinny little b.i.t.c.h killed herself, which I toasted to by the way."

I give her a kiss on the cheek and say, "I'm fine now. I didn't tell you 'cause I didn't want you to worry, and I know how you worry. Anyway, that's behind us now."

Chauncy gets this crazy agent smile on her face and says, "Well, honey, it's almost over. Chip and I have been talking to the legal department at the Gap and they want to give you a 'we f.u.c.ked up' gift of sorts." I'm completely confused.

I ask her, "Chauncy, I'm really not following you, what do you mean?"

She smiles, gently smacks my cheek, and says, "Put it this way, kid, you think you're rich now, but your net worth is about to double." I can't wrap my head around what's going on.

"All this happened without me even knowing?"

"They didn't want a big court thing, so to avoid the media, they agreed to a settlement. Between Chip and I, they didn't stand a chance and we didn't want you to be dragged through this whole mess again. Grab my bags and let's get inside already. Nice foliage by the way. Music notes, that's cute. Get that dumb redneck look off your gorgeous face, honey. Chip and I will explain it in greater detail to you and that best friend of yours. How many times did you tell me that you two were just best friends? My guess is at least one million times? I knew you two were in love the whole time." Chauncy is always dressed to the hilt and her hair is never out of place. I grab the two huge suitcases from her car and I swear this woman has packed enough clothes to last her two weeks.

I grunt and say, "How long are you staying for?"

"I figure until Sunday, I'm planning to party tomorrow."

I laugh and say, "Did you pack a couple of small people in these bags?"

"Oh, just wait, honey, you're about to get married, you'll see."

"I've known Lyrics my whole life and I've always had to double check her bags to make sure she brings enough stuff. If it were up to her she'd pack two jeans, a skirt, two t-s.h.i.+rts, undies, and flip flops for a month-long ski vacation."

Chauncy laughs and says, "Well d.a.m.n it, kid, beauty doesn't come naturally to me the way it does for her."

"That's where you're wrong, you are very beautiful inside and out."

She pinches my cheek and says, "G.o.d, you're a good man. Let me get in and meet the two that raised you so right."

I smile and say, "They've wanted to meet you for years now. Let's head on in."

I open the door and Lyrics yells, "Ms. Chauncy!" She gets up and gives her a big welcoming hug. The whole room stands up and I see Chauncy's eyes kind of bulge out.

I introduce her to everybody and she says in her deep Brooklyn accent, "Oy Vey! Which one of you strong handsome men can fix me a stiff one?"

Lorenzo says, "You got it."

Lyrics' dad says, "He sure likes the cougars, doesn't he?"

The whole room busts up except Lorenzo who says, "Hey, when I see a beautiful woman, age means nothing. She did say handsome and stiff, clearly she was speaking to me."

Everybody almost simultaneously says, "I'll take a drink too."

Brooke tugs on my s.h.i.+rt and says, "Uncle Tan, what's a cougar?"

I yell to Lorenzo, "Make mine a double!" This is going to be a night that none of us will soon forget.

I lean down and kiss my soon-to-be wife on her lip-smacked lips and say, "I'm so happy we decided to merge parties tonight. I love you."

"You better 'cause you're stuck with me forever!" I smile, kiss her again and say, "That's my plan."

Mom says, "Don't make me get the hose out again." Everybody chuckles.

Chauncy says, "Oh, a hot tub."

Lorenzo brings her the drink and says, "Let me know when you want to check that out and I'll join you."

Lyrics says, "Mom, now you can get the hose out."

Brent coughs and says, "c.o.c.k block," then coughs again.

Dad says, "Your kids are right here, jacka.s.s."

Ca.s.sie punches his arm and says, "Do you really want to explain what that means to your daughter?" Brent shakes his head no with a look of shame plastered on his face. It's hilarious to me.

Chip says in my ear, "Speaking of c.o.c.k, did you invite any prospects for me?"

"We did and I think you'll really hit it off. His name is Tyler."

Lyrics punches my arm and says, "He's lying. Tyler is not, well, I'm pretty sure he only goes for women. We did invite our friend Mikey and he's gorgeous, gay, and an absolute sweetheart."

Chip asks," Did he RSVP for one or two?"

Lyrics says, "He will be here all by himself, probably looking for somebody perfect like you."

Chip pulls Lyrics in for a hug and says, "Dylan, such an angel. Is Mikey a drummer by any chance? I love a drummer."

Shocked, I say, "Actually he is."

Chip clinks my gla.s.s and says, "Cheers!"

Everybody is having a great time, drinking, talking, and laughing. Lyrics stands up and says, "Um, what do y'all want for dinner? We didn't have anything planned because we were not all going to be here tonight, but I can order in right now."

Mom says, "Oh I know. How about Arpeggio Grill? That restaurant is fabulous. Do y'all like Mediterranean food?"

Everybody says, "Yes."

Mom says, "I'll order." I give Mom my card and she says, "Put that away, you ninny. This is like the rehearsal dinner, we got it."

I put my card away and both Lyrics and I say, "Thank you."

Lorenzo asks Mom, "About how long do you think we have before they deliver the food?" I knew where he was going with this but Mom didn't.

"Oh, if you're hungry I can fix you a snack."

"No ma'am, I'm wondering if I have time to dip into the hot tub." I roll my eyes and wait for it.

Mom says, "They estimated it to be about two hours, so I'd say you have time."

Lorenzo walks up to Chauncy and says, "Ready to relax in the hot tub?" Lyrics pinches my arm and I can't help but laugh. What I didn't expect was Chauncy's answer.

She asks, "Are suits required?"

Lorenzo says, "Absolutely not."

I interrupt and say, "Yes, yes they are absolutely required."

Chauncy points at me and says, "c.o.c.k block." Laughter erupts throughout the room. Stephen and Sophia decide to join them, too. One-by-one, everybody decides it's hot tub time.

I say, "Hey Tuck, Brooke, y'all can swim in the pool, it's heated."

Brent says, "Hey Mom, would you keep your eye on them out there?" Both Lyrics and I see him tug on Ca.s.sie's s.h.i.+rt.

Lyrics says, "d.a.m.n, horn dogs."

Brent wiggles his eyebrows and says, "Well, look at her, she's smokin hot."

"Can't argue there, bro." Just like that, it's just me and Lyrics. Alone. Oh, what shall we do? Apparently, I wasn't the only one thinking that. Lyrics grabs my arm and leads me into the bedroom. Suddenly my pants feel tight.

Chapter 30.

'You're my forever gal and I'm your always guy.'

Lyrics I pull Tanner into our room and say, "Babe, we have about an hour to ourselves. You thinking what I'm thinking?"

He pulls me against his body, slides his hands down my sweats, and says, "I sure hope so."

I push him back and say, "That sounds nice, but I was actually thinking we could write a song."

He adjusts himself and says with a frown and a snare, "Oh yeah, that sounds good too."

I tackle him on to the bed and say in my best pouty voice, "This could be the last time I get to write as Dylan Brooks."

He wraps his arms around me and says, "Alrighty then, let's write."

I grab my notepad, Tanner sits against the headboard and I lie on my stomach next to him. My arm grazes his leg and I lose my focus. That body, it's so warm and inviting. Tanner is on to me and my wondering mind.

He says, "It's so hot in here, I'm just gonna take my s.h.i.+rt off really quick." I want to scream no but the words are lost in my desires to see him s.h.i.+rtless. Slowly he pulls his s.h.i.+rt over his head and his stomach muscles are as tight as he can get them. I'm pretty sure I have drool seeping out of my mouth. I can tell he's cold but he says, "Oh yeah, that's much better. Babe, before we begin writing, would you be a pal and hand me the baby oil? My skin is just so dry." Trance-like, I get up to grab the oil.

I snap out of my dreamlike state and with oil in hand, I ask, "Is this what you want my poor dry-skinned man?"

He raises his eyebrows and cautiously says, "Yes, ma'am, do you mind if I rub some oil on my body before we begin?" I calmly move my notebook and toss it on the chair in the corner of the room.

I say as I pop the top on the baby oil open, "Oh no, I wouldn't want that beautiful body of yours to dry up like a California raisin." He reaches his hand out for the bottle and I take a step back, just out of his reach. He knows I'm on to his shenanigans now.

"You know, actually your whole body looks dry."

"You wouldn't dare."

I smile and say, "Oh, wouldn't I?" He pops up onto his knees and like a thin fire hose stream, I drench him in baby oil. I'm like a mad woman on a mission. I say, "How dare you attempt to lure me away from writing. Dry skin, please, you're always silky smooth. Taking your s.h.i.+rt off, that's gotta be a technical foul."

Innocently, he says, "Oh geez, is that what you thought I was doing?" My eyes and mind are focused on the oil dripping on his chest, skiing down those s.e.xy stomach muscles, disappearing into his jeans. He smiles and says, "Earth to Lyrics, come in Lyrics." I look at him, right in those caramel eyes of his and I know d.a.m.n well that he is without a doubt winning this battle. It's taking every bit of self-control for me to refrain from reaching out and touching him.

I say, "You're not fooling anybody, Mr. Tomfoolery. It's hot in here, oh please. And the oil, that's a nice touch. Look at you, sitting here slippery with oil, and now the smile, that s.e.xy smile. You're not fooling anybody with your pretend innocence, mister." Oh G.o.d, I've completely lost it. Before I can even react, his lips are brus.h.i.+ng against mine and he pulls me on top of him.

He laughs and says as he pulls my s.h.i.+rt over my head, "You didn't actually think you'd get out of here without me smearing all this oil on you, did you?"

I smile and flip the script on him, "I certainly hoped I wouldn't."

He bites my lip softly and says, "Are you trying to get the upper hand, Ms. Brooks?"

I bat my eye lashes and say, "No Mr. Staff, that's not my intention at all. Here I was just wanting to write with my best friend and out of nowhere I was ambushed with s.e.xiness." I take his hand and run it over my bra. Our stomachs are sliding from the oil. "You definitely have the upper hand." He smiles and flips me over so that he's on top of me. His mouth crashes on to mine. I forget what we were just talking about. My fingers trail down that oily stomach until I find the top b.u.t.ton on his Levi's. He leans his hips up so I can unb.u.t.ton all five b.u.t.tons easily. Just as I slide my hands between his jeans and his perfect a.s.s, there's a loud knock on the door. We jump up like we've just been busted.

I say, "One minute please."

Brooke yells, "Auntie, the food is here. Grandma told me to tell you guys."

I yell back, "Thank you, sweetie. We'll be there in a minute." Neither of us are making the first move to get up.