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"Your mom has never told you why we haven't spoken in so long has she?"
"I just a.s.sumed it was because of your religious beliefs. She mentioned how you and Grandpa weren't too happy when she got pregnant with me."
"That may be part of it but it's not all."
I sat forward, intrigued.
"I have a past too, Kenzie. I was married before your grandpa."
"Seriously? How come no one ever mentioned it?"
"It's not something we talk about. It was an abusive marriage. I never really wanted anyone to know. Of course your grandfather knew but we didn't tell your mom. Honestly I didn't think it mattered. But when she found out she got so angry. She accused me of being a hypocrite, saying that I professed to be a Christian but I'd broken a cardinal sin in getting a divorce."
How ironic that after being so hurt from a secret that was kept from her, my mom still kept secrets from me.
"Did you ever talk things out?" I asked. On the other side of the wall I could hear the shower roar to life. Mom must be taking a shower. It still hurt that she didn't believe me about Wesley.
Grandma smiled. "We were able to talk the other night. I think after everything you and she went through she finally understood why I did what I did."
I never would've imagined my Grandma making mistakes, doing things that would hurt people, things she'd regret. Even though it didn't make what I did any better, at least I didn't feel alone.
When I approached Isaac's house I started having second thoughts. Maybe I didn't need to tell him everything after all. If Grandma's pastor could get rid of Wesley than maybe I could just move on with my life as if nothing had ever happened. As quickly as the thought entered my mind it dissipated. Who was I kidding? There was no sure way to obliterate Wesley from my life. Also, I remembered my talk with Grandma; remembered how a secret can fester and poison. Besides, Isaac already suspected I was involved in witchcraft. It was better for me just to be honest.
Hesitantly, I reached my hand up and knocked. A few seconds later the door swung open and Isaac stood before me wearing a dimpled grin. My heart squeezed. I liked him so much. The thought of losing him killed me.
"Hey," he said. "What's up?"
"Um...I need to talk to you."
The smile faded and his face grew serious. "Okay. Let me grab my shoes and we'll take a walk." He disappeared only to return a minute later with shoes on his feet.
Together we walked down the street, out of the court and around the corner. The scent of melting asphalt and freshly cut gra.s.s tickled my nostrils. Hot sun rays beat down on my neck and back. My flip flops slapped on the pavement, cars rumbled past. Isaac breathed next to me.
Finally, I gathered up the courage to speak. "I really like you, Isaac."
"Why do I sense a but coming on?" He let out a stilted chuckle and I could tell it was his half- hearted attempt at lightening the mood.
"No. No buts. I really do like you. I only hope you still like me after what I have to say." I sucked in a breath. "Isaac, you're so lucky to have two great parents who love you. You don't even realize how great you have it. I didn't have that. I've never known my dad and while I know my mom did the best she could my childhood was still pretty tough. Mom always had to work long hours and she spent a lot of time with her friends and boyfriends. I was alone a lot."
We turned a corner, headed down another street. A group of kids played in the sprinkler while their parents sat on the front porch watching.
"See, like that was something I never did unless I went to a friend's. My mom was too busy to just sit and watch me play." I shook my head. "Anyway, I was always looking for a way to feel loved. Because of that I did some bad things." I paused, not wis.h.i.+ng to continue. How would Isaac react to what I would say next? I pictured him running away from me like I had leprosy.
He grabbed my hand, threading his fingers through mine. "It's okay. Take your time."
"I've done things with other guys I'm not proud of, Isaac. I thought if I did what they wanted that they would love me. That's all I've ever wanted. To be loved." Tears pooled in my eyes brought on by my shame. "I'm really sorry. You deserve someone better than me."
Isaac didn't say anything, just squeezed my hand. We walked in silence, arms linked. I wanted to stop there. What I'd already said was so painful, so damaging. Only I knew I had to continue. So far, I had only scratched the surface.
"But the boys didn't love me. Afterward I only felt used, cheap and dirty. So that's when I started cutting."
This caused Isaac to turn to me. "What? Where?"
We stopped walking. I held out my arms. Isaac traced the scars with his fingers. The tender act caused tears to trail down my face. I pulled them away, wiped my cheeks and continued walking.
"I came here to get away from my life back home. I thought I could start over, become someone new. And then I met you and I really believed that was possible. But I also became friends with Rhiannon." I glanced over at him. "You know what she's involved in, right? That's why you kept warning me about her."
His jaw clenched. He dropped my hand. "Yes, I know she practices witchcraft."
This was where I would lose him. I knew that already. I studied his face, memorized his features, just in case this was my last opportunity.
"Well, I started playing on the Ouija board with her. I met a spirit. His name was Wesley." Out of the corner of my eye I could see Isaac flinch. "He made me believe he was my dad and I was so stupid that I believed him. We kept talking on the board but then one night he escaped."
Isaac's face whipped around. "What do you mean, escaped?"
"Just that. He got off the board."
We rounded a corner, making a large loop home.
I cleared my throat. "He started appearing to me."
Isaac froze. "Like as a person or ghost or what?"
I stopped and faced him. "He took different forms. Sometimes he looked like a picture I had of my dad, sometimes like a dragon or snake, sometimes like a shadow."
His face paled.
"Do you believe me?"
"Yes."
"My mom doesn't. She thinks I'm making the whole thing up."
"I know the supernatural is real, Kenzie. It says so in the Bible. There's a verse in Ephesians that says 'our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.'"
I swallowed hard. "Well, my mom doesn't believe in G.o.d or anything."
"What about you?"
"I don't know. A few months ago I didn't think spirits were real. I'm still trying to process that.
I continued walking, keeping my eyes trained on my bubble gum pink toenails. "Believe me, it's not been a picnic for me either. It's been awful. Anyway, now he's threatening me, saying he's going to destroy me. I finally told Mom and Grandma and Grandma's pastor is coming this afternoon to pray over the house. Hopefully that works. I've tried everything else. This is sort of my last ditch effort."
We turned back onto our court.
Isaac ran a hand over his hair. "Kenzie, I really like you too."
"I sense a but coming on," I parroted his words from earlier, hoping to elicit a laugh out of him. I didn't.
"But witchcraft isn't something I'm okay with." We stood in front of his house. He turned to me. "I just need some time to process this, alright?"
I nodded, swallowing hard.
"I'll talk to you later."
I watched his back as he retreated, feeling like I'd lost him forever.
Chapter Seventeen.
So far nothing had worked. Not tearing up the Ouija boards, not the cross, not the salt or the sage. I had to believe that the blessing of the house did work. It had been two days since I'd seen him. I wanted to believe he was finally out of my life, but there was a part of me that knew the truth; that I could never be free. He'd been following me my whole life. He was the evil that pulsed through my veins, resided in my blood, lived in the corners of my mind.
It was the middle of the night. Mom and Grandma were sleeping inside. I sat on the front porch rocking in the swing. I felt safer outside. Too many memories of Wesley haunted the house. I'd slept on the couch the last two nights and only went in my room when absolutely necessary and never with the door closed.
Not that I was stupid enough to believe he couldn't get to me outside. I was prepared for him. In my hand I held a bottle of holy water. I was prepared to douse him with it if he tried to attack me. In my other hand I held a knife. Even though I wasn't sure if a knife would work on a ghost I thought it was worth a try. Whatever happened, I wasn't going down without a fight.
A crackling sound like crunching leaves caught my attention. I turned my head in the direction of Isaac's house, hoping it would be him. I hadn't seen him since he found out about Wesley. I knew he was avoiding me but I hoped he'd come around. Another crackle. I peered into the dark night air but saw nothing. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
He was there. I knew it.
I unscrewed the cap on the holy water and raised the knife. This time it was the shadow man. That's why I hadn't seen him until he stood in the light.
"So you thought you could get rid of me again, did you?" he hissed through the black hole that was his face.
I started to scream but he smothered my mouth with his inky black hand.
"No one can save you from me. Don't you know that yet?" His grip on me was intense, painful. I emptied the holy water onto him but nothing happened. My heart hammered. I struck him with the knife but it was like cutting through air. He pulled me out into the yard, yanked me across the court. I dug my heels into the ground but still he dragged me, painting my heels with gra.s.s and asphalt. My arm turned blue and tingled from lack of circulation. The knife clattered to the ground.
I threw glances over at Grandma's house wis.h.i.+ng either she or Mom would notice me missing and come looking for me. Who was I kidding? They both were pretty sound sleepers.
"You'll never be rid of me. I'll torment you forever."
"Why?"
"Because I hate you." His voice held an evil darkness I'd never encountered before and it sent a wave of cold dread through me. He continued to drag me and by now we were out of the court. I flailed and kicked, trying to wrestle my way out of his arms but it was no use.
"Although there is one way."
My ears perked at this.
"I can show you the only way to get rid of me. Do you want to see it?"
I nodded and stopped struggling. He scooped me up, held me in the crook of his arm and ran with lightening speed. I remembered when I was a little girl Mom would hold me like this and pretend I was a flying airplane. I definitely felt like an airplane now as we zoomed so fast I could scarcely catch my breath. Only I wasn't giggling the way I had as a child. Instead I was filled with a terror so intense I thought I would throw up. Where was he taking me? Would anyone know I was gone? Would they be able to find me?
When he stopped, I was grateful. I could catch my breath and maybe if he let go of me I could come up with a plan to get away. If only. Hope sparked like a lit match until reality breathed on it, snuffing it out. We stood suspended over the lake on the Truss Bridge. We were alone. There wasn't a person in sight. Darkness swallowed us. When he let go of me momentarily, I took off running but I wasn't fast enough. He tackled me to the ground. My lip banged against the wooden bridge and the metal taste of blood filled my mouth.
"Stupid girl. You can't outrun me."
I knew there was only one way off this bridge for me, and that was to plunge into the dark water below. I suspected that was what Wesley was counting on.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"Are you hard of hearing? I told you earlier. I hate you."
"But why? What have I ever done to you? "
"You're one of His creations. That's reason enough."
"What are you talking about?"
"G.o.d created you and I hate G.o.d. Therefore, I hate his creation. I've come to destroy all of you."
"But I thought you were my friend."
He threw his head back and laughed his bone-chilling cackle. "I was never your friend, you gullible piece of trash. My goal has always been the same. To seek and destroy."
Where had I heard this before? I felt like I'd read it somewhere. My body tingled with terror when I realized it had been in the Bible.
"W-w-who are you?"
"You haven't figured that out yet? I'm the devil."
My knees softened, buckled. The world spun on its axis. I thought about my dream and realized I'd known this all along. Why had I let it get this far? He would surely destroy me. I could never fight him and win. Defeated, my shoulders slumped. I heard a car in the distance and looked over at the road, praying someone would spot me. But the car sped past. I'm sure no one could see me. The bridge was tucked away from the road, blanketed in darkness.
"As long as you're alive I will chase you and torment you. The only way to be free of me is to kill yourself."
He was right. I had no choice but to jump. It was the only way out.
I staggered to the railing, grabbed on. The thought of jumping, sinking into the water, allowing it to envelope me until I floated into nothingness actually sounded inviting at this point. I couldn't live my life like this anymore.
"There you go. Now you're finally seeing reason," Wesley prompted me.
The air was hot and sticky. My hair stuck to my forehead. I wiped sweat from my brow before hoisting myself up. My fingers were slick. I climbed up until I stood on the ledge, holding tight to the rails. Staring down into the water, my feet tingled and my stomach rolled. Water rushed under me. The rocks seemed to taunt me, mock me. I envisioned my head split open like a melon below, blood spilling from it, blanketing the earth in red.
"Mackenzie!" A dark figure raced toward the bridge. "Mackenzie, no!"
"Isaac?"
He came closer and I could clearly see him. I couldn't believe he came for me.
"Isaac," I said again, tears filling my eyes.