Finding Laila: Some Changes Are Necessary Part 40

"Sorry, kid, there won't be a next time. She's got kids of her own and I'll be in school. I'll probably never see her again."

"She has kids?" Mom asks. Her forehead crinkles between her brows and I know she's worried about how this information affects me.

"She does," I smile. "Twins that are younger than you, Squirt, but just as crazy."

"And she's doing well," Mom states, but I think it's more of a question.

"Yeah, from what I could tell. I mean, she thought I was the nanny, but she seemed good. It was nice to see her, but you know, it was something that I needed to do and I've done it. She looks happy, and her kids are adorable, but this is home."

A sob escapes Mom and she buries her face in Dad's s.h.i.+rt while he holds her.

"Mommy, why you crying?" Luka asks.

"I'm glad your sister's home," she smiles a gla.s.sy-eyed smile. "She's my first baby and I missed her. A lot."

"What are you gonna do when I go off to school, Mom?" I tease.

"You're not going," she responds quickly. "I've decided that you can never leave again."

"What about me?" Luka pouts.

"She wants to send you off instead," I tease.

I grab the little brat and squeeze her tight to me until she laughs and begs for me to let her go. She has no idea how lucky she is-how lucky we both are-to have these two for parents.

"I'm kidding. Even if she did want to, you're my annoying little sister and you're not going anywhere." I kiss her cheek.

"Well you're my big cranky sister," she answers quickly.

"Luka, why don't you get back to bed?" Dad suggests to a disappointed Luka.

She leaves but we remain silent until the door shuts and I'm left alone with my parents.

"So how is she?" Mom asks.

"She really seems to be good," I answer.

"What did she say when you introduced yourself?"

I scrunch my face before answering, but she knows.

"You didn't introduce yourself, did you, Laila Jude?" Mom asks in disbelief.

"I did," I argue, "I just told her my name was Luka."

"You're joking, right?" Dad sits back and scratches the scruff on his face. "I thought you wanted to meet her and get to know her."

"I did, but when the time came it just didn't seem right. I wanted to meet her, but I've had the best parents. You've made mistakes, I've made mistakes. But you're my family and taking that step didn't seem important anymore when I was there. I got to see where she lives and meet her kids-"

"Your brother and sister," Mom interrupts.

"Luka is my sister. Ava and Evan, those are Andie's kids-and Andie is the woman who gave birth to me, but you two are my mom and dad. You put in the hard work and effort to raise me, and now she gets to do that with the twins."

"Are you sure about this?" Dad asks, taking my hand in his and squeezing. "Having her in your life doesn't mean you lose us. We want you to do whatever you need to and know that we'll support you."

With my free hand I swipe a tear that is falling down my cheek and try to ignore the growing lump in my throat, but a sob escapes anyway.

"What did the boys think of her?" Mom asks.

"I went alone, but of course it turns out they were down the road. They told me they were going to the beach, but apparently they followed me. When I drove off, I saw them sitting at the coffee shop down the road trying to hide." I laugh at the absurdity, but also love that they care about me so much.

"What did you say?" Mom laughs.

"I didn't say anything," I shrug. "Chalked it up to being the last official act of being in my barmy. Speaking of, I know I just got home, but Cole and Joey are leaving tomorrow morning and I want to say goodbye."

"Give them both a hug from me," Mom says, and I nod.

Sitting out here on my rock alone gives me time to think about how everything has played out up to this point. When I moved here as a little girl, I had no friends, but these guys took me in and gave me more than I ever imagined. They have been my family, my best friends, my support, my protectors, my co-conspirators, and my allies. For twelve years, I've had the comfort of knowing that if I ever needed them, all I had to do was ask and they'd be there-no questions asked.

That's what best friends do, right?

I don't know what I'm supposed to do without my lifeline.

I close my eyes and inhale as I try to steady my building sadness. This will be the last time I see my guys step through the bushes to our spot. Before long, this hideout will belong to another group of kids, or maybe someone will come in and develop it. Regardless, this is the end of an era and the knowledge of this makes me incredibly sad.

Two of my guys leave today, and in another week, I'll be gone.

"You're early, too," Joey calls out as he steps toward me.

"Just waiting," I say wistfully. "And thinking."

"Don't do that, it only gets you in trouble," he teases.

"I'm going to miss you most," I say, recalling the famous line from The Wizard of Oz.

He pulls me tightly to his body and I wrap my arms around his waist as I fight the impending tears and ugly cry.

"We'll still talk every day," he says, almost convincingly.

"Okay," I agree, even though I'm not sure I believe it.

One by one, the rest of the guys show up and join us at our safe haven, the place we grew up together. We reminisce about the first time we met and how we were an unlikely group.

"When are you leaving, Searle?" Joey asks.

"I'm going to visit my grandma this weekend and then I'm planning to drive with Lai to Waco. I'll take off to school from there. The place I'm moving into is furnished, so I don't need much but my clothes."

"What about you, Brax?" Joey asks.

"Leaving in a couple of days. Scot wants to show me around campus before cla.s.ses start. Mom and Dad are going to come out with my things next weekend."

"Guess that means you'll be here all alone this weekend," Cole teases when he points at me.

"Not alone." I lean my head on Haden's shoulder and smile. "I told Bailey we'd hang out before she moves."

"When is she leaving?" Joey asks with a slight edge to his tone.

"Friday," I answer. "Are you sure you don't want to call her?"

"Clean break-that's what she wanted," he says. "It's fine."

I can tell he's lying, but I don't want to push, especially when everyone is here listening. If it were just the two of us, I'd totally get on his case and push him to tell me more and he would-but he acts tougher when everyone's here.

"I say we jump into the quarry for old time's sake," Braxton challenges.

"Not me," I argue. "I'd rather not start my first week of school in a cast."

"Let it go, Nixon," Cole calls out as he pulls off his s.h.i.+rt, clearly accepting the challenge.

"He's right-it happened one time, and you never let it stop you before," Haden smirks knowing I'm going to give in.

"Fine," I draw out and take off my s.h.i.+rt, revealing my bathing suit.

They all stare at me with looks of disbelief, but I simply shrug it off.

"What? I figured someone would put it out there, and if you didn't, I was going to," I laugh.

The guys take off their s.h.i.+rts and shorts and it becomes apparent we all had the same idea because they are in their swim trunks. We step carefully through the overgrown trail that leads to the safest edge. Looking down, the drop seems so much scarier than it did when I was a kid. I was fearless-or maybe it was stupidity, I don't know. But right now, the jump I've done a million times before seems like the craziest thing to do.

"On three?" Cole asks with his eyes glued to the water's surface.

"On three," Braxton agrees with a crack in his tone.

Everyone walks back a ways and looks to the others to see who's going to back out, but none of us will.

"One," Cole calls out.

"Two," Haden mutters.

"Three," I scream as I run full-speed to the edge with the guys alongside me.

As we crash the gla.s.sy water, the sound of water rus.h.i.+ng past my ears and the cold temperature has me swimming for the surface manically. I'm the first to reach the top and take a deep breath to fill my lungs and steady my heart rate. One by one the guys pop up laughing, and offer each other high fives.

Swimming here has been an escape for all of these years, but as much as we are saying goodbye to each other, we're saying goodbye to the quarry. We revert to our old ways, playing games and hara.s.sing Cole when he changes the rules-again-to give himself the winning edge.

The sun begins to set and Joey is the first to say he has to go so we follow him out of the water and climb the hill back to our spot. Our dry clothes are immediately soaked by our suits, but we put them on anyway and stand there in awkward silence.

"I don't want to do this," I laugh-cry as I try to avoid eye contact. "Can we just pretend we're meeting back here tomorrow?"

"It won't change anything," Cole says sadly. "Tomorrow will come and none of us will show up."

"I don't want to say goodbye. You guys are my family, my best friends-how am I supposed to let you go?"

"The same way we're supposed to let you go," Joey says as he steps forward. He kisses my forehead and hugs me so tight that I fear I'll never be able to take another breath. Cole walks over and joins us in our hug and it eventually turns into a huddle with arms and hands everywhere as we hold on as tight as possible. For the last time.

"Having all of you in my life has been the best thing that has happened to me," I sob. "Thanks for letting me play with y'all."

"Thanks for cras.h.i.+ng our party," Cole laughs.

When we finally separate, the guys do the sniff thing to hide their emotions, but I fully embrace my girliness in this moment.

"I love y'all. So much," I say through my tears as I finally let them go.

Chapter 35 ~ Finding Laila.

Moving to a town where I don't know anyone is intimidating, but it's what I've been preparing for, right? The real world-or at least the first steps toward entering it. In a week, I'll be officially a freshman in college, living on my own, and the only thing I can think is that the campus is overwhelming.

Everyone walks around like they own the place and know where they're going. Maybe they do. But not me. I've been to Baylor a few times for visits, but never in my current role: student. I get to live in an off-campus apartment with someone I've never met, but I'm hoping for the best. I have talked to my roommate a couple of times on the phone and she seems nice, if not a little too excited to meet me, but I think that's a good sign.

It shouldn't take three cars to move someone into an off-campus apartment, but that's what we have right now. Mom and Dad dropped Luka off at Grandma's so they could help me, and I drove my car. Haden followed with most of his own things, although he insisted on bringing at least one of my boxes so he had a reason to justify his detour.

Parking is a nightmare on campus, but luckily this off-campus situation isn't too terrible. People are hustling from their cars to the apartments and I imagine it's even worse at the school for those living in the dorms.

"What apartment are you in?" Mom asks while we climb up the second flight of stairs.

Note to self: this walk is h.e.l.l.

Dad is bringing two of the boxes I packed and drags behind us at a snail's pace, but Mom and I have only managed to bring one each so we make it up the stairs easily.

"1379 B," I answer as I reach into my pocket to retrieve the key I got from the attendant in the front office.

When we reach the third floor, I shove my key into the slot, but before I have a chance to turn it, the door opens and a short blonde girl stands before me with a smile too big to be real.

"Are you Laila?" she asks with so much pep I look around to see who she's trying to impress, but no one is around but my parents.

"Yeah," I say slowly to buy time. "You must be Chelsea?"

She grabs my hand and wraps her arms around me as if she's known me forever, and I do my best to remove myself from her grasp without hurting her feelings. I'll need to teach her about personal s.p.a.ce.