Finding Laila: Some Changes Are Necessary Part 42

"He loved you all so much," she says through her tears. "You know that, right?"

I nod, unable to formulate a sentence.

"Joey loved you, Laila."

"I know. He was my best friend, we talked all the time-I just don't-I don't know what I'm supposed to do without him."

Mrs. Parker cups my cheek in her hand and nods but says nothing before walking to her husband. I notice that Cole and Braxton have arrived and walk over looking as destroyed as I feel.

Braxton and Haden drove to my apartment on the night of the accident and brought me to my parents' house, where we waited for Cole until his flight arrived. I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare because there's no way Joey is really dead.

I'm not sure any of us have slept much in the last four days. We've spent every waking minute together crying and trying to figure out how this could have happened to our best friend.

The funeral director asks everyone to take their seats, and there is standing room only. Mrs. Parker saved us a seat next to her and Mr. Parker because she said we were Joey's family. Haden wraps his arm around my shoulder but keeps his eyes focused ahead. His eyes are bloodshot from the hours of crying with the rest of us. Braxton is sitting on the other side of Haden, anxiously running his hand up and down his leg in an effort to calm himself. But it's Cole that I'm worried about: for all of his bravado and humor, he's a broken man. His head is resting on my shoulder, unable to look ahead and face the one thing that none of us are ready to do.

"Joey Parker the third," the funeral director starts, but I tune him out. There is nothing that he can tell me about my best friend that I don't already know; there are no words that he can tell me to relieve the ache in my heart, so I close my eyes and wait for Joey to come back to me, even if it's only a memory from the time I saw him last month.

"Lai, meet me at the quarry," Joey demands. "I'm leaving soon so we need to hang out before I go."

"See you in twenty," I answer.

He has been home for a few weeks, but I've been finis.h.i.+ng up a summer session at school. As soon as it ended, I came home to relax and finally see my guys. It's been far too long since all of us have been home at the same time, even though we talk almost daily.

I step through the bushes and spot Joey sitting at the same spot he used to occupy in our heyday. I walk over and he stands up to give me a big hug and kisses my cheek.

"d.a.m.n, Lai, you look good," he smiles.

"You're not looking so bad yourself, sir," I tease. "What have you been doing today?"

"Just hanging out."

"Where is everyone?" I ask, looking around.

"They'll be here later," he answers as he walks me over to my spot.

"I'm so glad you're home. I've missed you so much," I tell him.

He gives me that grin and I lean my head on his shoulder. "How can you miss me? You call me every day," he laughs.

"I can stop," I joke and narrow my eyes at him playfully.

"Did I say it's a bad thing?"

"G.o.d, I miss you," I tell him honestly. "I wish you were here all the time."

"Sorry, kid, but I have places to be."

"No you don't," I counter. "You know you want to be here forever."

He looks out at the quarry and nods in agreement. "Yeah, I'd say this, right here, with you is pretty d.a.m.n perfect."

"Liar. You're meant for bigger and better things because you're so d.a.m.n smart-you're going to leave all of us in your dust."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," he says with a smile. "You're meant for bigger and better things, you just have to go out there and grab them. Take everything you can from life."

"Is that what you're doing out there in New York?" I laugh because I know he is.

"Bet your a.s.s I am," he says with a c.o.c.ky grin. "And I tell you what: if you don't do the same thing, I'm going to be p.i.s.sed."

"Is this why you called me out here? To give me a lecture?"

"I'm older and wiser than you," he muses. "So you're supposed to listen to me."

"You're older by a month. And the smarter part-well, that's debatable," I tease.

He laughs his loud, boisterous laugh and kisses the top of my head. He seems genuinely amused with my stupid remark, and it makes me laugh along with him.

"Never change, Laila Jude, because I love you just as you are," he smiles. "I just want you to be happy and have everything you ever wanted. Are you happy?"

"I'm here with my best friend-I'm very happy," I tell him truthfully.

"I'll always be here," he says.

"Promise?"

"Till the day I die," he answers, hugging me again.

I couldn't stay there anymore, and when I asked the guys to come with me to the quarry, they were quick to agree. The funeral home isn't where I want to remember Joey. I want to remember him smiling, laughing-living. I want to remember all those conversations and world problems that we thought we'd solved in this spot. I want to hold onto all of it for as long as I can.

"The funeral director said, 'He will be missed by many, but will live on in our memories.' I think the best way to remember him is here, in the place he loved so much," I tell the guys.

This place was our paradise, our escape. Some of my happiest times were spent here with these guys, and though we are brokenhearted, this is what Joey would want. Cole, Braxton, and Haden nod in agreement and one by one walk toward the spots we occupied for so many years, but none of us can bring ourselves to sit.

Cole wipes his eyes and I wrap my arms around him as we cry together. Braxton walks over and pulls both of us to him, his tears joining our own. I look over to see Haden fighting his emotions, but I reach for his hand and he willingly steps toward us.

As we stand together, I hear Joey's words echoed from graduation and it brings a teary smile to my eyes.

We have made friends.h.i.+ps we will have for a long time, while other friends.h.i.+ps have come to an end. Hearts have been broken, only to be patched up when someone new comes along. We made mistakes-lots of them. But we learned. We fought. We laughed. We partied. We did everything we should do in high school. We lived.

We embrace each other painfully aware of our missing piece, but in this moment, I know we are as strong as we've ever been.

These guys have been, and will always be, my solid ground. We will get through this like we have everything else that's come our way.

Together.

Because even when someone is gone, they still live on inside you. And I promised Joey that I would go out and live my life, achieve my dreams, and for him I will. Because I am Laila Nixon and I'm going to be okay.

Acknowledgments.

This story came to me after numerous conversations with my daughters. Gidget and Peese inspire me every day; without them, I wouldn't be the person I am. Thank you, my beautiful angels, for pus.h.i.+ng me to write this story. I love you girls so very much.

With the help of beta readers like Kimberly Stedronsky, Sarahbeth Caplin Stoneburner, Lisa Karafa, Kari Gardner, Alisha Brown, and RoseAnn Rapp - Finding Laila, found its voice. Thank you all for believing in this story and making me smile with your feedback.

I have a wonderful group of critique partners who help keep me sane. They are intelligent, talented, kind, amazing and strong women, and I am always learning something new. For the last year, they have helped me improve and grow and I am eternally grateful to have them in my life. A skype date is in order. Soon.

Stacey Lynn, A. Meredith Walters and Claire C. Riley, I can't thank you enough for reading this, loving Laila and the boys, and giving me ways to tweak their story. You made me smile - and cringe - with your notes and I wouldn't have it any other way. Your honesty and suggestions are something I actually look forward to reading.

This year brought many personal introductions, and these writers have shared, listened, and become my friends. Penny Reid, Lori Otto, Kahlen Aymes, Erin Noelle, Kayla Rob.i.+.c.haux, Sierra Cartwright, Jessica Prince, and the others I have met and will meet, thank you for your friends.h.i.+p and kind hearts.

Amy Queau, meeting you was simply amazing, and I'm so thankful to have you and your encouragement. Goose, Kimotherapy - my wifey - what can I say? It feels like I've known you forever, and I'm so blessed to have you in my corner. Sharing like minds is something I have come to expect and yet, still laugh when it happens. Lisa, my friend and confidant, I'm so glad I got to hug you and hang out, but mostly to show me what I already knew - that you are special.

Kathryn Falk - my mentor, friend and neighbor, thank you for allowing me into your world. You brought three ladies into my life that make me smile every week, and I look forward to it. Kayla, Erin, and Sierra thank you for your unconditional support and encouragement.

A special thank you to bloggers whose love of books and willingness to share that love with others helps so many of us. Southern Belle Book Blog, Penny for My Thoughts Book Blog, Saucy Books, Wicked Women Book Blog, Falling in Fall, Nerdy Book Freak, The Book h.o.a.rders, A Pair of Okies, Confessions of an Unsuspected Bookworm, Reading Past My Bedtime, Typical Distractions, YA Book Madness, We Like it Big Book Blog, We Stole Your Book Boyfriend, Once Upon a Crush, Jodie's Wine List, A Literary Perusal, Fiction Fangirls, s.e.xy Bibliophiles, Sugar & Spice Book Reviews, Thoughts of an Avid Reader, and all the other bloggers who have helped share Finding Laila, thank you.

And to the wonderful people read this story and helped make the to the finish line: Daiana, Gina, Kristy and the members of my street team - thank you for all of your support and the things to you do help me out. It is so much appreciated.

To my mom and dad, thank you for believing in me and what I love to do. I swear; I'm a d.a.m.n lucky girl to have you both. And to my wonderful husband, thank you for supporting me, encouraging me and loving me and all my crazy. You are my best friend and most important member of my barmy, and I know G.o.d had a plan when he brought you into my life. I love you so very much.

Finally, to the readers who have supported me and read my stories: you will never know how much your kind words, and enthusiasm have meant to me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Writing Laila's story was truly a joy - every second of it.

About the Author.

T.K. Rapp is a Texas girl born and raised. She earned a B.A. in Journalism from Texas A&M and it was there that she met the love of her life. He had a contract with the U.S. Navy that would take them across both coasts, and ultimately land them back home in Texas.

Upon finally settling in Texas, T.K. worked as a graphic designer and photographer for the family business that her mom started years earlier. She was able to infuse her creativity and pa.s.sion, into something she enjoyed, but something was still missing. There was a voice in the back of her head that told her to write, so write, she did. And, somewhere on an external hard drive, are several stories she started and never finished.

Now at home, raising her two daughters, T.K. has more time to do the things she loves, which includes photography and writing. When she's not doing one of those, she can be found with her family, which keeps her busy. She enjoys watching her kids in their various sporting activities (i.e. doing the soccer mom thing), having Sunday breakfast at her parent's house, singing out loud and out of key or dancing like a fool. She loves raunchy humor, gossip blogs and a good book.

Visit T.K. Rapp online:.

FACEBOOK.

TWITTER.

GOODREADS.

GOOGLE+.

T.K.RAPP'S WEBSITE.

MODEST VIEW BLOG.

If you enjoyed this book, check out the others by T.K. Rapp:.

Being There.

Mine to Lose.

Mine to Steal.

Turn the page for an excerpt from.

Reclaiming the Sand by A. Meredith Walters.

From the New York Times & USA Today bestselling author of Find You in the Dark and Bad Rep comes Reclaiming the Sand, the bestselling story of love and forgiveness and the importance of letting go of a painful past. The sequel, Chasing the Tide, is available NOW!

Reclaiming the Sand.

By A. Meredith Walters.

Bully and victim.

Tormenter and tormented.

Villain and hero.

Ellie McCallum was a bully. No connection to anyone or anything. A sad and lonely existence for a young woman who had come to expect nothing more for herself. Her only happiness coming from making others miserable.

Particularly Freaky Flynn.

Flynn Hendrick lived a life completely disconnected even as he struggled to become something more than that boy with Asperger's. He was taunted and teased, bearing the brunt of systematic and calculated cruelty, ultimately culminating in a catastrophic turn of events that brought Ellie and Flynn's worlds cras.h.i.+ng down.

But then Flynn and Ellie grew up.

And moved on.

Until years later when their paths unexpectedly cross again and the bully and the freak are face to face once more.

When labels come to define you, finding yourself feels impossible. Particularly for two people disconnected from the world who inexplicably find a connection in each other.

And out of the wreckage of their tragic beginnings, an unlikely love story unfolds.

But a painful past doesn't always want to let go. And old wounds are never truly healed...and sometimes the further you try to run from yourself the closer you come to who you really are.