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'Well, this was among them. It's Nicky's.' She gave me the paperback. I glanced at the cover and put it down, in order to pour out the tea. Navigation for Beginners. I handed her the cup and saucer.
'Was he interested in navigation?'
'I've no idea. But I was. I borrowed it out of his room. I don't think he even knew I'd borrowed it. He had a box with some things in- like a tuck box that boys take to public school- and one day when I went into his room the things were all on the chest of drawers, as if he was tidying. Anyway, he was out, and I borrowed the book.... He wouldn't have minded, he was terribly easy-going... and I suppose I put it down in my room, and put something else on top, and just forgot it.'
'Did you read it?' I said.
'No. Never got round to it. It was weeks ago.'
I picked up the book and opened it. On the fly-leaf someone had written 'John Viking' in a firm legible signature in black felt-tip. 'I don't know,' Louise said, antic.i.p.ating my question, 'whether that is Nicky's writing or not.'
'Does Jenny know?'
'She hasn't seen this. She's staying with Toby in Yorks.h.i.+re.' Jenny with Toby. Jenny with Ashe. For G.o.d's sake, I thought, what do you expect? She's gone, she's gone, she's not yours, you're divorced. And I hadn't been alone, not entirely.
'You look very tired,' Louise said doubtfully. I was disconcerted.
'Of course not.' I turned the pages, letting them flick over from under my thumb. It was, as it promised to be, a book about navigation, sea and air, with line drawings and diagrams. Dead reckoning, s.e.xtants, magnetism and drift. Nothing of any note except a single line of letters and figures, written with the same black ink, on the inside of the back cover.
Lift = 22.024 x V x P x (1/T1 - 1/T2)
I handed it over to Louise.
'Does this mean anything to you? Charles said you've a degree in Mathematics.'
She frowned at it faintly. 'Nicky needed a calculator for two plus two.'
He had done all right at two plus ten thousand, I thought.
'Um,' she said. 'Lift equals 22.024 times volume times pressure, times.... I should think this is something to do with temperature change. Not my subject, really. This is physics.'
'Something to do with navigation?' I said.
She concentrated. I watched the way her face grew taut while she did the internal scan. A fast brain, I thought, under the pretty hair.
'It's funny,' she said finally, 'but I think it's just possibly something to do with how much you can lift with a gas bag.'
'Airs.h.i.+p?' I said, thinking.
'It depends what 22.024 is,' she said. 'That's a constant. Which means,' she added, 'it is special to whatever this equation is all about.'
'I'm better at what's likely to win the three-thirty.'
She looked at her watch. 'You're three hours too late.'
'It'll come round again tomorrow.'
She relaxed into the armchair, handing back the book. 'I don't suppose it will help,' she said, 'but you seemed to want anything of Nicky's.'
'It might help a lot. You never know.'
'But how?'
'It's John Viking's book. John Viking might know Nicky Ashe.'
'But... you don't know John Viking.'
'No,' I said, 'but he knows gas-bags. And I know someone who knows gas-bags. And I bet gas-bags are a small world, like racing.'
She looked at the heaps of letters, and then at the book. She said slowly, 'I guess you'll find him, one way or another.'
I looked away from her, and at nothing in particular.
'Jenny says you never give up.'
I smiled faintly. 'Her exact words?'
'No.' I felt her amus.e.m.e.nt.
'Obstinate, selfish, and determined to get his own way.'
'Not far off,' I tapped the book. 'Can I keep this?'
'Of course.'
'Thanks.' We looked at each other as people do, especially if they're youngish and male and female, and sitting in a quiet flat at the end of an April day.
She read my expression and answered the unspoken thought. 'Some other time,' she said dryly.
'How long will you be staying with Jenny?'
'Would that matter to you?' she said.
'Mm.'
'She says you're as hard as flint. She says steel's a pushover, beside you.'
I thought of terror and misery and self-loathing. I shook my head.
'What I see,' she said slowly, 'is a man who looks ill being polite to an unwanted visitor.'
'You're wanted,' I said. 'And I'm fine.'
She stood up, however, and I also, after her.
'I hope,' I said, 'that you're fond of your aunt?'
'Devoted.'